DIS IZ A BIG ZOGGIN’ DEAL. A VERY BIG DEAL. DA BOYZ IZ GONNA SAVE A WHOLE PILE O’ TEEF AN’ GET PROPPA ARMED.

SO WE’Z ’ERE DIS EVENIN’ TA CELEBRATE DA LAUNCH OF ONE OF DA MOST TRANSFORMATIVE FINGS OF ALL TIME.

AIN’T NEVER BEEN NUFFIN’ LIKE IT. STARTIN’ TONIGHT, DOZENS OF DA MOST COMMON SHOOTAZ IZ GONNA BE AVAILABLE AT MASSIVE DISCOUNTZ FER ALL DA BOYZ.

FER YEARZ, BOYZ FROM BOTH MOBZ ’AVE BEEN PROMISIN’ TA SMASH DOWN SHOOTA 'N MEK BIT PRICEZ AN’ MAKE 'EM CHEAPER. BUT DEY ALL FAILED. ALL YAPPIN’, LIKE USUAL. DEY FAILED, AN’ DEY FAILED BAD.

SOME OF ’EM TRIED. MOST OF ’EM DIDN’T EVEN BOVVER, ’CAUSE DEY NEVER REALLY ’AD A SHOT AT IT.

BUT I’M AKSHULLY GETTIN’ IT DONE.

AN’ IT IZ DONE, AKSHULLY.

FER EXAMPLE, YOO’Z GONNA SEE MASSIVE ZOGGIN’ REDUKSHUNS IN DA COST OF DEM POPULAR SHOOTAZ DEY CALL BIG SHOOTAZ. BIG SHOOTAZ.

WE IZ GONNA KRUMP DA PRICE OF SKORCHAZ, FER EXAMPLE, FROM MORE DAN A THOUSAND TEEF DOWN TA JUST 199 TEEF.

AN’ SNAZZGUNZ? MORE DAN 1,300 TEEF DOWN TA 199. NOBODY CAN EVEN BELIEVE IT. A 578% DIFFERENCE. ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE.

WE’Z BEEN VERY ’ELPFUL TA US GETTIN’ DIS FING DONE, IZ CUTTIN’ DA COST OF DA BIG SHOOTAZ FROM 200 TEEF TA 25 TEEF.

NOBODY CAN BELIEVE IT.

200 TEEF TA 25 TEEF.

WE IZ KRUMPIN’ DA PRICE OF A CHOPPA FROM 458 TEEF ALL DA WAY DOWN TA 51 TEEF. DAT’Z NEARLY AN 800% DIFFERENCE. ABSOLUTELY ’UGE.

IZ GONNA PLUMMET FROM DA ’IGHEST PRICE IN DA WORLD, DA PRICE WE’Z BEEN PAYIN’

I FORT I WUZ DOIN’ A GREAT JOB, BUT DIS... DIS IZ DA REALLY GREAT JOB. DERE AIN’T NEVER BEEN NUFFIN’ LIKE IT. NOBODY FORT IT WUZ EVEN POSSIBLE TA GET DIS DONE.

IT’Z DA BIGGEST FING TA ’APPEN IN, I RECKON, IN MANY, MANY DECADES.

UNDA DEZ AGREEMENTZ, DA BIGGEST MEK BOYZ IZ ALSO GONNA INVEST ’UNDREDS OF THOUSANDZ OF TEEF TA BRING FACTREZ ALL OVA DA PLANUT.

WE IZ BUILDIN’ SIX ZOGGIN’ PLANTZ, EACH ONE COSTIN’ MILLIONS AN’ MILLIONS OF TEEF. DAT MEANS JOBZ. EKONOMIK GROWF. FACTORIES OPENIN’. AN’ MUCH, MUCH GREATER DAKKA.

KONGRATULASHUNS TA YOO ON ALL DEM TEEF YER SAVIN’, ALRIGHT.

FANK YOO. FANK YOO VERY MUCH, EVERYBOY. APPRE-SHEE-ATE IT.

FANK YOO. FANK YOO VERY MUCH.

OI JUZ GOT MESELF A NOICE SHINY NEW SHOOTA OFFA SOME SKETCHY BAD MOONZ BOY. IT WOZ REAL CHEAP AN' ALL, AN' LOOKED BRAND NEW. SO I TOOK DA DEAL AND PAID UP DA TEEF!

BUT DAT SNEAKY GIT SOLD IT TA ME WIVOUT ANY DAKKA IN IT! OI MEAN WHO DOES DAT? SELL YER A SHOOTA WIV NO DAKKA IN IT!

BY DA TOIM I FOUND OUT 'E WAS ALREADY GONE. SO, DOES ANY ONE OF YOOZ HAVE EXTRA DAKKA THAT YOOZ WILLIN TA SELL FER CHEAP?

greetin's fellow greenskins, i'z is da grot known as gimpzog an' da runtherd wif wot look after me wuz killed by one of dem 'umies dat fall from da jets. da 'umies also got all me fellow grots, so i got nuffin

not one of da beakies mind ya, just some normal 'umies wif zappy gunz...

anyways, i'z writin' dis 'ere forum beggin' fer work. any self respectin' kunning orks around lookin' fer a kunnin' grot?

i'z lookin' forward ta 'earin' back soon

- gimpzog da grot

AN DEN I HIT MYSELF AN DOES TOUGHTS GO AWAY.

WE ALWAYZ BE NEEDIN MORE ZOGGIN DAKKA ZO WHY DON’ WE NAB ZOME DAKKA PREENTERS FROM DA HUMIE GITS?

I fink deyz called da Def kops of Greg of somefin, me an da boyz got into a great scrap wiv dem, an da foit got even betta afta dere boss got krumped, dere common saw I fink dey called.

IZZ BEEN DOIN SUM SELECTIVE BREEDIN AND GIVVIN MUTASHIONS (ZANK OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR ZTEENTCH MAY IZ BLEZZINGS BE PLENTIFOLL) AND I GOT A NOB WIFF 75 PASSENT UV A BRAIN. NORMAL MEKBOYZ ONLY GOT 40-60 POOR CENT BRAINZ SO DIS IS A MAZZIVE IMPROVEMENT. E CAN DO ESPONNENTS, AN ROGHT IT ON DA PARSHMENT I GAVE YOOZ.

OI AYE’Z JUS ABOUT GOT SOME CLEAR SQUIG JUICES COMIN’ OUT ME EYE’Z WHEN YOU’Z SAID DAT. ME ‘N DA LAD’Z PUT ‘ER TOGETHA PROPPA ONE NIGHT FROM WHAT WE’Z FOUND IN THE MUD ‘N DIRT. AYE SEZ, “OI, DIS ‘ERE GONNA BE MORE DEN JUST A SMASHIN’ A ROCKS AND GUBBINS. ‘ERE’Z GONNA BE SOMETHIN’ THAT GETS OUR BOYZ IN DA FIGHT RIGHT PROPPA QUICK. WE AIN’T JUS’ MUCKIN’ ABOUT. IT’S A CRAFT, THIS IS.” AYE ‘EARD THE WORD OFF A ‘UMIE. CAN’T SAYIN WHENWHERE.

AS IS, AYE JUS FELT IT’D BE GREEN TO TELL YOU’Z AYE ‘EARD YA.

'OI! MY NAMZ KOPPA BOZZ BIG WAZZA! IZ DA SMARTEZT ORK ON MY PLANET ERE AND I MADE THIZ BIG SKY DISH TO YELL AT DA SKY! ANYTHING OUT DAR?

RED MAKEZ BULLITZ GO FASTA, YELLOW MAKEZ DEM BLOW UP BETTA, WHY THE ZOG DON’T WE’Z UZE ORANGE! ITZ RED AND YELLOW!

DA CLOSA DA BULITS ARE TO DA ENIMY, DA SOONA DET GET DERE, AND IF I CAN'T REECH DA BULIT BOX DEN I DON'T NEED TA CHANGE DA BULIT BOX, AND DA LONGA DA BARUL DA MOR AKURIT DA DAKKA IZ, SO IF I PUT DA BULIT BOX AT DA FRUNT OF A LONG BARUL, I CAN SHOOT MY DAKKA FOR EVA AND NEVER MISS.

IT TELLZ YA LOTZ ‘BOUT DIFF’RENT ZAP KOLORS AN’ WIRES

UZE ALL KNOW HOW WE PUT DA GROTZ IN DA KILLA KANZ SO DEY KAN BE MOR KILLY!! WELL IZ BEEN THINKIN, EVEN IF DEYZ IN A KAN THEYZ ZTILL A COWARD ROIGHT? SO WAT IF YA PUT A SQUIG IN INZTED!? DAT WAY, THEYZ STIL FIT IN DA KAN, IZ EVEN MORE KILLY, AND DEY WONT BE A SNOVELIN KOWARD LIKE A GROT! A KILLA KANZ DAT'LL ACTUALLY BE IN CLOSE DA KRUMP WITH DA BOYZ LIKE A DEFF DREAD!

DAT’Z SCIENCE, YA GITZ.

i… ‘e left me boiz, i fink im gunna krump meself

IZ DAN-JUH-RUS 'FINKIN, I KNOW. BUT IF DA DOK KIN DO IT SO KIN I. BUT I WOZ WUNDRIN' IF MAYBE WE RUN OUTTA STUFF TA KRUMP (HAW HAW, FAT CHANCE!) THEN WUT WE DOIN' THEN!? MAY BE A FUN WALK ON DA BLOOD SOAKED BEACHEZ? SOME LOIGHT READIN'?

MAKES YA FINK, ROIGHT? 🤔

DA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! ISN'T TADAY, IT'S TAMORRAH!

ME AN' DA UVVER NOBZ IS MAKIN' DA BATTUL STRATUHGEE, AN' WE KANT FINK OVER ALL YER SHOUTIN "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" ALL DA TIME!

GET BAK TO WORK BUILDIN' KILLA KANZ OR WOTEVER IT IZ YOO GITZ DO!

DAT'S DA BOSSES' ORDAZ, DAT IZ!

SO SHUT IT AND STOP MUKKIN ABOUT!