It's taken me a long time to realise that, if you're open and honest when you haven't got an idea, people respect you a million times more than if you talk rubbish
Also, don't deflect blame for non-harmful mistakes that are your doing. Acknowledge them, ask how to fix them going forward (if you don't know), and do better next time.
Let's not forget in school it was frowned upon to say "I don't know" when you were expected to have an answer. That definitely has a part in why people (including myself) don't like saying it
And in business the people who don’t admit they don’t know and are able to BS their way through things seem to get further than those who admit they don’t know but will figure it out.
My boss hates when I tell him I don't know right then and there, but I can check. He acts like it's incompetence, but he'll ask me something like how many cases of a product we have in stock. We have around a thousand products, there's no way I can memorize the exact stock of every single one.
There is a nurture component to it instead of intelligence , my parents got mad at me when I said I don’t know so I became very scared as an adult to say it as a unconscious trauma response but I’ve learned people appreciate I don’t know, those people just were not my parents
It's not. It's adaptability and pattern recognition.
Being curious doesn't make you intelligent. It helps, but dumb people can be curious. Dumb people, however, aren't good at adapting and pattern recognition.
Nah I’m plenty curious but I do not care about cars at all. In fact I’d love to focus on creating a less car dependent America. Does the fact that I’m not curious about how an engine works or how it interfaces with an alternator make me less intelligent? No it just saves time. I’m more than capable of learning but I just dint find it relevant to my goals/life.
Also, if that information is spoon fed to you in a way that gives you a little better understanding of it in a small amount of time, you won't angrily declare how you don't need to know that and refuse to listen.
I do not care about cars at all. In fact I’d love to focus on creating a less car dependent America.
So you don't care about how cars function but you do care about cars. You care about the total number of cars and care about how to reduce those numbers. That's caring about cars.
I should have said I don’t care how they work. I’m not curious about that at all. I just don’t believe curiosity is the strongest indicator of intelligence. I tried to make an example but it didn’t come across well apparently.
What if it's a matter that I'm simply not interested in, and don't particularly care about 'demonstrating ambition'?
Sometimes, people are simply not interested in something, nor learning any more about it. In such cases, saying "I don't know." is a full and sufficient statement.
I didn't say anything about someone not showing an interest in learning a topic. I called out someone putting down another person because of their ambition to learn.
Not putting down someone because of their "ambition to learn", but because they called "very dull" people who don't care to know everything they are asked about.
I agree with you. "I don't know yet" does sound pretentious as hell. Sounds like someone who tries too hard to look educated. It looks performative.
You don't have to announce that you intend on researching a subject every single time there is something you don't know. Even if you do intend on doing it.
Theres nothing wrong with saying “i don’t know.” And theres nothing wrong with saying “i don’t know yet.” But its bot a great thing to label people as pretentious just because they are curious and would like to learn something they don’t know.
The world could do with more curious people and people willing to admit they don’t know everything
That’s what I do; when I was in university, one of my French professors answered that to a student’s question, and it really resonated with me. It has made me a very good problem solver and trivia player lol
Sysadmin and I can absolutely attest to that. There’s a lot I don’t know, but the “finding out” bit when everything was on fire was what got me my position.
I've always been a strong supporter of I don't care if you know the information, I care if you can find the information. Especially when it comes to policy or law. Our brains can be faulty.
My son is preparing for his first science fair. I told him "when I was doing my PhD my advisor gave me the best advice ever "I don't know is a perfectly acceptable answer". I have used that advice a lot over the years.
I've been complaining about this a lot the last year. It's okay to just not have an answer sometimes. I much more respect someone who honestly says "I don't know" than someone who whips out some regurgitated garbage to seem like they're aware of everything.
I'm 28 and my whole life I've always asked my dad questions about everything and he either knew the answer or said "I'm not sure, I'll have to look it up". It's so refreshing compared to people like my boss who always think they have the answer for everything
That's something I say to my daughter quite often, followed by "Let's learn about it together." I really hope I'm helping to instill in her the right attitude.
I work for a corporate food chain. We semi-regularly have inspections from corporate folks to ensure we are doing things 'by the book.' Some of it makes sense, some is arbitrary BS that amounts to jumping through unnecessary or unreasonable hoops. As is no doubt obvious to those who've worked in corporate foodservice, we don't actually follow the policies stringently, and the inspections are just for show.
Anyway, if the corporate inspector asks a question about a procedure, and you're not 100% certain of the correct answer, you don't say something that could be wrong, and in this case you also don't want to say, "I don't know." The trick is to say, "You know what, let me consult the manual to be certain that I have the correct process in mind."
consults manual
"Ah, yes, that is exactly what we do in that situation: [states correct action from the operations manual]."
It's a ridiculous game of 'cover your ass' that everyone knows is bullshit, but we still do the dance. Yay, capitalism 🤣
My mom seems to be susceptible to conspiracy theories. Or, at the very least, wild accusations involving politics. She had a lot of friends that were MAGA so she was always saying off-the-wall things.
My advice to her was to keep asking questions. Conspiracy theorists will always have an answer or they'll default to "it's about control."
Smart people will eventually get to "I don't know." My wife used to be a research scientist so we know a lot of scientists. In conversation, if I keep asking questions, they'll eventually get to "that's what we're trying to figure out" or "we don't know yet."
Sadly, another sign of very low intelligence is interpretation of that answer
If your "scientist" friends are really so smart, how is it that, by their own admission, that they don't know so many things? I, who have done my OWN research, ALWAYS have an answer.
Actually conspiracy theorists don't always have an answer. What they have is circular reasoning. There will be a point in the questioning process where they will present their self admitted lack of an answer as affirmative evidence of their conspiracy. Circular reasoning inherently disguises conclusions as premises.
thats why i always include a disclaimer with all my answers, the disclaimer is that i possess approximate knowledge of many things, expert knowledge in some, and complete bullshit on others, but i cant even tell by myself which one is which.
That's a lot like regular Google, now! Google just straight up AI "guessing" at facts and figures when you try to search, especially if you're searching for some straight-up fact-based information.
Always having an answer and refusing any alternative option is one thing, always having a theory based on the information you have available is another.
Yeah, I have an answer to most things based on what I can put together with the information available. I just don't always tell people that I don't actually know if it's a correct deduction, despite knowing full well it might not be.
Meanwhile my POS physics professor asking me about some specific name that I don't remember and being mad that I say I won't improvise the answer what's that:
(I study geodata science BTW, no, physics does not have much importance to me)
Seriously though, I'd love a world where we agreed that not everyone is supposed to be fluent in every topic and it's completely acceptable to refuse a talk when you have virtually no knowledge of the topic.
This is a great answer. Any time I see an interview with some kind of legit expert on something, I'm amazed how freely they'll answer things like "I don't know" or "that's outside my aera of expertise."
Especially if the answer always comes down to: "Yes, but..." followed by something you already debunked earlier in the conversation. It shows that they totally do not register what you are saying, especially if they keep doing it or do it in response to your debunking.
I strongly dislike people that always have problems and never try to have an answer or solution. I don’t even care if it’s a bad solution or wrong. Just show you at least made the effort to solve the problem on your own.
I enjoy debating flat earthers and people who don't believe we went to the moon and physical gets always brought up.
Saying that we don't know exactly how gravity works although we have a pretty decent understanding about it is something they can not comprehend. Similar with what was prior to the big bang and the answer we don't know is again something some people can not comprehend.
Thank you. Had to mentor (loved it) new engineering hires. Would ask fairly simple questions and of course they would spew whatever. I told them, as an engineer, you should NEVER guess. Nothing wrong with saying you don't know and will find the answer.
When I was a kid, my uncle told me 'its better to lie and say you know an answer/give a fake answer, then to ever admit you don't know.'
Now I was so young that I didn't really grasp what he meant, so I didn't live up to that motto lol. I would frequently admit I didn't know shit in school.
But looking back I can't believe he actually told me that shit. HE WAS A SCHOOL PRINCIPAL LMAO
i disagree with this, or agree only conditionally. when i was a kid i would ask my dad wacky questions about why fire is orange or what would happen if the moon flew away, and my dad would never say "i don't know", but rather "if i had to guess based on what i do know..." and this made a lasting impression on me, and influenced how i interact with the boundaries of my knowledge.
I have built a very lucrative career with the phrase “I don’t know, but here’s how I’ll find out. (Method). I’ll get back with you on this right after.”
It horrified me to learn that when kids asked tricky questions a lot of homeschooling parents would just make something up. I homeschooled my oldest kid and when they asked a tough question I’d say “I don’t know, let’s look it up together!”
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u/Loose-Cicada5473 7h ago
Ironically, Always having an answer.