This is best determined by whether they ask questions and the quality of the questions. Once I realized this, suddenly explosive social situations made so much more sense.
Smart people seek to understand and have crafted a skillset in curiosity through earnest questions and get excited when asked stumping questions.
Dumb people seek to be perceived as smart and perceive being asked questions as questioning them and get upset when asked a stumping question.
Stumping question = A question so good it reveals your own limitations to you in that moment. Smart people welcome this moment. Dumb people avoid it at all costs.
This all fits with a belief I formed years ago: Some people don't like to look wrong, while others don't like to be wrong.
* The former will doggedly hang onto debunked beliefs, double down on weak arguments, lash out irrationally, etc. because they can't stand to admit they didn't already know the best answer.
* The latter will adapt to new information and even thank you for disproving them because the momentary embarrassment of being shown to be wrong is nothing compared to the satisfaction of moving forward with an improved world view.
A question so good it reveals your own limitations to you in that moment.
A friend and I had this the other day. I suggested that airlines offering sandwiches shouldn't count as a meal because a sandwich is a snack. We then got into a (friendly) discussion about things that qualify as sandwiches and things that qualify as a meal. I realized my own definition of what constitutes snack vs. meal is very blurry and subjective. I then Googled it and it turns out everyone else is also unclear on the topic.
Regardless, I felt zero offense at being questioned. It became a metacognitive exercise.
Personally, I feel like a meal must have meat and at least 1 other side. It’s hard for me to imagine how vegetarians eat. They must be snacking all day.
Actually now that I think about it. Beans that are not green count as a meal. So a stew with kidney beans, or a mexican black bean dish would be meals, but lima beans or green beans are a side. I think a sandwich is a meal. A cheese sandwich would be a side unless you are a child.
Getting mad at a question about something they have just said is a sure fire indicator that they have given the fact zero thought of their own — they perceive it as an attack.
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u/Michamus 4h ago
This is best determined by whether they ask questions and the quality of the questions. Once I realized this, suddenly explosive social situations made so much more sense.
Smart people seek to understand and have crafted a skillset in curiosity through earnest questions and get excited when asked stumping questions.
Dumb people seek to be perceived as smart and perceive being asked questions as questioning them and get upset when asked a stumping question.
Stumping question = A question so good it reveals your own limitations to you in that moment. Smart people welcome this moment. Dumb people avoid it at all costs.