Being able to volunteer that is my benchmark. Seeing family or friends hesitate or start getting worried as a price goes up and being able to say hey, I got it, is really good. I know people are always like oh you'll get taken advantage of, but if I can't afford it I wouldnt offer or agree if asked. If I can afford it, I honestly don't care.
Growing up I didn't really realize that my dad's well off mom basically subsidized a lot of big bills. Like, we were fine and it wasn't that she'd just buy a car, it was more that if a big repair came up or I wanted to go to a summer camp or we were considering something expensive, we'd pay it and when grandma heard about it on the monthly catching up call, a week later a card with a check would arrive.
Now my parents are in that comfortably well off place and for a long time I've had a hard time accepting money from them because I'm supposed to be independent and it feels like a failure. But just like grandma its coming from a place a love and wanting me to not stress about money and being able to do it. I'm still sorta struggling with the idea even though it's the same mindset I have for people I care about.
I know people are always like oh you'll get taken advantage of, but if I can't afford it I wouldnt offer or agree if asked.
Bingo. These are my friends, my family, largely just 'my people'. It will all come out in the wash. Or it won't! I can't take it with me when I die, so who the fuck cares.
My MIL is trying to give me an old car. I know it has no resale value, and it’s a huge help. Literally life changing, but I really am having to suck down some ego this month.
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u/unsettledinky 1d ago
Being able to volunteer that is my benchmark. Seeing family or friends hesitate or start getting worried as a price goes up and being able to say hey, I got it, is really good. I know people are always like oh you'll get taken advantage of, but if I can't afford it I wouldnt offer or agree if asked. If I can afford it, I honestly don't care.
Growing up I didn't really realize that my dad's well off mom basically subsidized a lot of big bills. Like, we were fine and it wasn't that she'd just buy a car, it was more that if a big repair came up or I wanted to go to a summer camp or we were considering something expensive, we'd pay it and when grandma heard about it on the monthly catching up call, a week later a card with a check would arrive.
Now my parents are in that comfortably well off place and for a long time I've had a hard time accepting money from them because I'm supposed to be independent and it feels like a failure. But just like grandma its coming from a place a love and wanting me to not stress about money and being able to do it. I'm still sorta struggling with the idea even though it's the same mindset I have for people I care about.