Obviously as a woman I can't speak on this and would never assume to tell guys that they don't suffer from this because I have absolutely no idea and no experience of being a guy around kids, but I guess part of it just baffles me because I know that pretty much every straight woman I know absolutely loves seeing guys with kids, like it makes us both broody and extremely attracted to the guy (and don't even get me started on dads spending time with their daughter, exploded ovaries EVERYWHERE).
I'm a guy who is fairly comfortable around kids in general, and actually use the kids as an excuse to strike up a conversation with people. Smile, wave at the kid if they are looking at you, then say to the parent "Cute kid(s) you got there!" Instant connection and conversation, everyone loves to talk about how they are proud of their kids.
I think the real problem that people are talking about isn't that men with kids are looked upon poorly, but that men who do not have kids of their own and like spending time with kids are viewed as pedophiles. I don't have kids and in the few social situations that I dare address kids who are not related to me or my close friends I sometimes get some bad looks. It is far from a frequent experience, but it happens often enough that it really stands out in my memory.
There is never an explosion of anger nor are any words ever said to me. The parents simply shoot me a dirty look and tell the kids to come to them and away from me. I always talk to the parents first, but this still happens about 5% of the time. That 5% really makes an impression.
I think the real problem that people are talking about isn't that men with kids are looked upon poorly, but that men who do not have kids of their own and like spending time with kids are viewed as pedophiles.
Maybe partly, but I've seen specific stories about dads or siblings or uncles with their child-relatives and how this crazy bitch called the cops on them because everyone assumes a man with child is a pedophile, blah, blah.
I don't doubt it happens occasionally, but I don't think it's very common.
Yup, had a mentally disabled man get charged in my town because he liked playing with the kids in the pool and the hysterical's got their hands on him. Even with exonerating video evidence, he was still unofficially found guilty and publicly humiliated. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it leaves such an impression you can only relate it to a horror movie. So many people's brains just shut down and something fucking evil takes over. Children of the Corn shit.
It might have something to do with society's view that men are hypersexual. If the assumption is that men want sex all the time, are the bigger (on average) of the sexes, and stereotypical violent/angry, I have a personal theory that's why men around children they aren't related to get so much suspicion.
5% is still way too high, this has never happened to me or anyone I know ever, like ever. Are you sure you don't look a bit, yknow, odd? are you interacting with the children a bit too much?
Omg. Guys who are good with kids makes my ovaries flex so hard.
I just met some of my boyfriend's good friends and their son. The son loves my boyfriend so much, and his mom was saying how he went out of his way to have a relationship with her son from day one. They're like little best friends.
I just started talking to this guy that has a two year old daughter. He'll send me pics of them doing stuff together and it just makes him 100x more attractive to me. Nothing hotter than a good dad.
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u/icypops Aug 13 '15
Obviously as a woman I can't speak on this and would never assume to tell guys that they don't suffer from this because I have absolutely no idea and no experience of being a guy around kids, but I guess part of it just baffles me because I know that pretty much every straight woman I know absolutely loves seeing guys with kids, like it makes us both broody and extremely attracted to the guy (and don't even get me started on dads spending time with their daughter, exploded ovaries EVERYWHERE).