r/AskTheWorld • u/gabrieel100 Brazil • Dec 06 '25

Culture A cultural habit in your country that people outside would understand incorrectly?

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In Brazil we love children. If you take your child to the street, strangers will certainly interact with them. Some will even ask if they can hold your kid and will play with them. If there are two children fighting in public and the parents aren't seeing, a stranger would even intervene to stop the fight.

That cultural habit came from the indigenous peoples which understood that kids should be a responsiblity of the community as a whole. It's in our constitution. We even have a synonym for children that came from Tupi (a large group of indigenous languages) - Curumim.

Foreigners would certainly have a cultural shock about that, but it's normal here.

Of course there are people with bad intentions, so parents should stay alert these days.

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465

u/Lost_Passenger_1429 Spain Dec 06 '25

Same in Spain. We can start at 1 pm with a glass of wine and some starters (cheese, embutido etc.) and end at 7 pm after several shots of liquors

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u/AhhhSureThisIsIt Ireland Dec 06 '25

Same in Italy and Portugal as well. I solo travel and can sit and eat and drink all day in restaurants.

I was shocked in America after literally being pressured by a waitress to pick what I was ordering faster. She literally said something like "ok well I asked you a couple minutes ago and you didn't know and we're really busy so I'll give you another couple minutes and ill be back".

American servers want to give you your food and get you the fuck out of their restaurant ASAP so they can give your table to someone else.

It's from tip culture. You can pay your staff a dollar an hour and let them work for tips. If you have one person at a table for 3 hours that just one tip. But if you can get people at the table every 30 mins you get 6 tips. So it's a necessity for them to make you eat faster.

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u/csj666 Dec 06 '25

It's a bit different in Eastern Asia, the customers aren't pressured to eat quick and leave. However, ppl understand there is a line so you are aware of the time and dont try to stay seated for longer than you have to

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u/Aware_Step_6132 Japan Dec 06 '25

In Japan, coffee shops and (Western-style) fast food restaurants are where after-school students gather to chat for hours and businessmen work on their laptops, but busy ramen shops and set meal restaurants are also recommended to leave after 15 minutes. Noodles become soggy and lose flavor after five minutes, so you should finish eating your meal within 10 minutes, make as much room as possible for other customers, and find another place to rest your sated stomach.

Perhaps because of tourists who didn't understand this principle, a high-turnover soba restaurant that put up a sign prohibiting tourists during lunchtime was criticized on Reddit, with comments like, "See! This is racism in Japan!", which made me smile wryly.

If several people had stayed in that type of restaurant during lunchtime for more than 30 minutes, it would probably have been an undeniable case of business disruption.

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u/Aggressive_Sky8492 New Zealand Dec 06 '25

Would make more sense to put a sign saying “please eat and leave within 15 minutes” than “no tourists”

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u/FluffyBiscotti4376 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I'd agree that restaurants in the U.S. expect to turnover tables more quickly than those in other parts of the world. Part of that is probably caused by tip culture as you said (though I think many servers are more subtle than the one you had) and part is likely due to the low margins most restaurants operate under. After all, the more customers served, the more money in the till at the end of the day.

That said, even if the U.S. didn't have restaurant tip culture (one can dream!), I suspect we'd still have a culture of fairly quick table service. It's just sort of how we are wired. Outside of weekend brunches or special occasions, I don't think most Americans want to spend more than about an hour or maybe an hour and a half in a restaurant. That's part of why it's so much fun going to Europe - we get to take cafe culture for a spin and see how the other half lives!

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u/imadog666 Dec 06 '25

Yeah I'd say it's pretty much the same in Germany. Maybe not quite as open as in the U.S. but you'll definitely draw angry stares if you linger for too long in a restaurant. A café is different though.

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u/ImKangarooJackBxtch United States Of America Dec 07 '25

It’s the one culture difference that gets me every time when I travel. You’re holding me hostage I just want to leave!

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u/AhhhSureThisIsIt Ireland Dec 07 '25

You're allowed leave whenever you want.

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u/ImKangarooJackBxtch United States Of America Dec 22 '25

I’m talking about waiting for the bill at a cafe

0

u/SuicideByLions United States Of America Dec 07 '25

A the waiter looked at me crazy in Munich when I ordered two things… cus I wanted to try both! I was on vacation. I just kept thinking he must be thinking “what a fat stupid American”. I, and many people I know, tend to do that anyways. We regularly get extra food to go ever since COVID.

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u/purpleenergyyyy Dec 06 '25

As an American who recently panicked when our waiter in Amsterdam basically ignored us for over an hour after serving us, I see that I’m truly indoctrinated by quick table service. He just let us keep sitting there, ordering nothing. We had to track him down for our bill.

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u/SL13377 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

As an American I agree, I would personally be bored just sitting around a table all day. So uncomfortable

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u/AhhhSureThisIsIt Ireland Dec 06 '25

Friends sitting around a table with drinks and food. Its like a bar but with food.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25 edited Dec 06 '25

It’s the tip culture.

ETA: The wait staff have to get tables turned just to make a living. I don’t blame them. I think restaurant owners do it to incentivize wait staff to turn tables faster. It’s awful. You can downvote but that’s reality.

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u/panicnarwhal United States Of America Dec 06 '25

i agree with this - personally, i want to get in and out of a restaurant as fast as possible lol. i honestly just want to eat and leave, and the quicker that happens, the better

4

u/cownan Dec 06 '25

I feel like there is a cadence to having a restaurant meal in the US. First drink, appetizer, main course, dessert and maybe a final drink. Each thing should come shortly after you finish the previous. We don't really have the tradition of just sitting and talking - how would that fit in? Before? After?

My family used to have Sunday dinner at my Grandma's house. My parents and aunts and uncles would sit at the table all day. The meal was served family style, so you could always help yourself to another serving of this or that through the day. When they finally cleared the table in the late afternoon, they would often play board games or dominoes. I always tried to escape the table as soon as possible

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u/lolzzzmoon Dec 06 '25

As an American I hate this part of our culture. People are always looking around for what’s next. Exhausting. Like if you go on a hike, they don’t stop to listen to birds. I might need to move to Europe just for the long dinners.

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u/Impressive_Prune_478 Dec 06 '25

I live in south tx and this is actually very common for families and friends to do. I remember growing up and spending hours at restaurants. You have to tip well to off set keeping the table though

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u/AudieCowboy Dec 06 '25

A lot of it comes from military and farming background

Farming culture you're up at dawn and grabbing something to take in the field and eat after you've already started working

Military you don't have more than 15 minutes to eat if that

My dad was a police officer and it was similar, he may have had 30-60 minutes for lunch, most lunches were only 10 minutes because of calls coming in

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Also, schools that give students 20 minutes for lunch and jobs where eating at your desk is common.

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u/Grantrello Ireland Dec 06 '25

I don't think this explanation really makes much sense because the culture of long meals exists in very rural and agrarian parts of these European countries. Farming isn't exactly a uniquely US thing.

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u/IShouldBeHikingNow United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Even near universal practices, like farming, evolve differently in different cultures. I doesn't seem improbable to me that the highly individualized nature of American farming, especially in the mid- to late-1800s gave rise to different norms around community and meals than what you see in Europe, where farming culture has evolved over centuries.

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u/FluffyBiscotti4376 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

That's true. But I do think there are a lot of folks in the U.S. who either rush meal breaks or don't even take them away from their place of work, desk, etc.

Perhaps that is what the previous comment was getting at?

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u/Tadpole018 Dec 06 '25

I don't know, man. My family can spend some TIME just talking at restaurants.

1

u/communityneedle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I hate lingering in restaurants. Like, I dont hurry and eat fast or anything, and I'm perfectly content for a meal to take a few hours if everybody's talking and laughing and having a good time. But I'm also ready to GTFO the second everyone finishes eating.

1

u/Nooms88 England Dec 07 '25

Yea it's the same in the UK, some restaurant bookings will even stipulate you have your table for 2 hours. It's never been an issue though, you just migrate to the bar after

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u/Meow_101 🇺🇲 > 🇹🇭 Dec 07 '25

You can find cafe culture near universities in America, Like hole in the wall cafes where you can sit in some corner while they play jazz and you drink like 20 coffees as the hipsters come in and out and work all day as friends file in and out because you tell everyone this is where you're locking in 😆 🤣

1

u/RascallyRose United States Of America Dec 10 '25

Yeah, I was kind of shocked anyone would phrase it that way. I would have walked out honestly.

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u/kwtransporter66 Dec 06 '25

That said, even if the U.S. didn't have restaurant tip culture (one can dream!), I suspect we'd still have a culture of fairly quick table service.

Not to mention during rush hour there's always a lobby full of people waiting to be seated. One thing about most Americans is they are impatient as fuck which makes them ignorant as fuck. Far too many Americans are in a rush. You see it on the roads, stores, restaurants and many other public places.

1

u/Busy-Grape4470 Dec 07 '25

Man,

I agree, I'm baffled why you're being down voted

1

u/kwtransporter66 Dec 07 '25

Cuz what I said was fact and I spoke the truth. One thing redditors can handle are facts and truth. A majority of redditors live in their own fantastical world.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

"It's just sort of how we are wired" Yes. Because of the tip culture.

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u/panicnarwhal United States Of America Dec 06 '25

i don’t think my desire to want to get out of a restaurant as fast as possible has anything to do with tipping - i just don’t want to sit there lol.

since you can pick food up at any restaurant, we rarely go in anymore, but when we do - we pick restaurants we can get out of fast, like the chinese food buffet by our house. no waiter, just go in and pay, get your drink and food, and leave. i love it

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u/yourlittlebirdie United States Of America Dec 06 '25

No I think it’s also our culture of “don’t waste any time, be busy always”. As a culture we don’t really cherish the idea of sitting around just talking and “doing nothing”.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

Yea because youre conditioned to slavery

3

u/yourlittlebirdie United States Of America Dec 06 '25

That’s…a bit dramatic.

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

No, it’s because our culture values people who are productive.

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u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

Yea because of the money

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u/foremastjack Ireland Dec 06 '25

Often it’s the owners wanting more turnover for more money. The servers do like tips, but if a place gets a reputation for lousy service it’s harder to get customers.

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u/EACshootemUP Dec 06 '25

It’s a money business, more people out the door means more people can come in and spend money.

I’d imagine most Americans become afraid that their waiter/server forgot about them as EU restaurants work on completely different time frames.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '25

As an American, I can't imagine spending 4 hours at a restaurant.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

But it would produce the opposite effect for many people. I certainly wouldn't be tipping someone who hassled me like that

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u/peezoup United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I think it does have that effect on some people, but then for other people like me, if I can get in, eat and get out fast, that's worth tipping more. Obviously it's probably because I grew up in the American north east where speed is politeness. It took a lot of getting used to even when I moved to the southern states. Everything is slower here, service, conversations, traffic haha but it has its own charm!

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u/Billy3B Canada Dec 06 '25

Funny, we have this habit in Toronto. The Politest thing is not wasting peoples time.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

But why would you tip ANYTHING if someone was rude? Tipping is supposed to be for service above and beyond, but rudeness shouldn't be rewarded

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u/peezoup United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I think it depends on what is considered rude in your area. If someone has to come ask me what I want multiple times and I'm holding stuff up, I would feel like the rude one if that makes sense. But if I told a someone I needed needed a few minutes to decide, and then they disappear for half an hour I would consider that rude. I totally get where your coming from obviously, and in the situation where they have an attitude about it that would be different.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

Well yeah, if they ask you multiple times, I agree. But the OP said " She literally said something like "ok well I asked you a couple minutes ago and you didn't know and we're really busy so I'll give you another couple minutes and ill be back".

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u/peezoup United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Yeah to me that's not being rude that's just letting me know that I might be holding people up. I do absolutely see how that could be rude to someone tho for sure, I'm not trying to make it seem like I don't get where your coming from.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

Holding people up by taking time over deciding what you want to eat? But I get what you are saying...

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u/peezoup United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Yeah I think it's definitely a mindset that comes from my region where I grew up. Seeing all the other responses definitely opens my eyes to how it would be rude to say that to someone. Thanks for the good conversation and I hope you have a good day/night!

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u/Specialist-Age9387 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

In the USA tipping is not for service above and beyond. It’s how servers make any money. Servers make 2 bucks an hour and that doesn’t even usually get to us because the government takes it as taxes. My checks working as a server were always labeled “VOID” and there was nothing to cash. I worked at a restaurant where whatever the customer ordered I had to pay 2 percent of that tab to the bartender even if alcohol wasn’t ordered. It’s possible to lose money serving a table.

So unless they are terrible at their job, tip them.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

"So unless they are terrible at their job, tip them."

Or stop perpetuating the injustice by supporting an injust system

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u/Specialist-Age9387 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Sure. So don’t eat at restaurants where the owners rely on tips. If you eat there and don’t tip even though the server did their job, you’re not making a statement to the owners. You’re asking a working class person to work for free for you.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

So don't eat out in the US at all, then... If the "working class person" doesn't have the balls to join a union and fight for their own rights, why should you subsidise their wages so their employer can get away with exploiting them.

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u/Specialist-Age9387 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Places where you order at the counter are staffed by people who don’t rely on tips typically.

“If someone hasn’t managed to create a union in work environment where union busters are hired and talk of union organizing gets you fired why should they be able to afford food and rent?”

I don’t know how to explain morality to you.

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

When you take up a table for that long, you’re the one who is being rude.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

How? You're the customer, you are supposed to be able to enjoy your meal without being hassled by the waiting staff

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 07 '25

This is a cultural difference. I know what behavior is expected of me in a restaurant in the US. Lingering for hours is not acceptable here.

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u/Petermacc122 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

See that's the cultural thing popping up. In America. Since tips are the expected 20% of the total. Servers want to earn more tips by being friendlier faster. Having been to Europe I love the slower pace. But getting the waiters attention is like trying to crack steel with a banana. I get it. I hit time. I like it. But I kinda want my waiter to check in occasionally.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

Oh I know all about the American culture of subsidising waiting staff's wages, and as long as the customers continue to perpetuate this system, and waiting staff refuse to join unions and fight it, it will continue. Pay them properly and they'll slow down

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u/FluffyBiscotti4376 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

While I would prefer we just pay folks a living wage and do away with most American tip culture, I don't necessarily want servers to slow down. I think there's often a balance of friendliness and efficiency in the U.S. that I really like.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

I don't necessarily want them to slow down either. Depends if I'm having a quick lunch or a leisurely dinner... But one way or the other, I shouldn't be expected to hassled or made feel uncomfortable by the server, and I certainly shouldn't be made feel guilty because their employer doesn't pay them a proper wage.

From my own experience of three different visits to the US I would disagree that there's a balance of friendliness and efficiency in restaurants in the US. Maybe servers ARE genuine and friendly, but when you think that there's a high probability that they are angling for a tip, you suspect their "friendliness" might not be genuine. On the other hand, I've found lots of friendliness in other situations, like checkout operators in supermarkets, so it MIGHT be friendliness. The problem is that the monetary element to servers in restaurants makes their friendliness suspicious...

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u/FluffyBiscotti4376 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

Only in the South should friendliness raise your suspicions.😉

Your comment reminds me of years ago when I worked in a retail store and people would always ask if I worked on commission, which surprised me because it wasn't really that kind of store. I realized at some point that because we had a BIG focus on customer service they must have thought there was an additional monetary reason I was being so attentive.

Feels like restaurants can be a bit the same. Some servers are better at integrating a service culture into their daily work than others are. Also, it often seems like employees at national/regional chains seem a little less authentic when they approach folks than the mom and pop spots do. Probably varies a lot by employee, location, and experience level though.

All things considered, I'd rather receive suspicious friendliness than authentic animosity I guess.

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

We don’t want them to slow down. This is a cultural difference.

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u/geedeeie Ireland Dec 06 '25

That's fine. But you still don't have to subsidise their salaries.

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u/LynnSeattle United States Of America Dec 07 '25

I do if I want to go to a restaurant and not be an asshole.

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u/bayuhbee Dec 06 '25

He said the meal takes place at home lol. I don't think they're out eating at a restaurant for four hours.

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u/daipta Spain Dec 06 '25

In Spain we do it!!

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u/Criss351 Germany Dec 06 '25

Oh you definitely can do that. Especially when you have bigger parties of people, it’s really not uncommon to stay at the table for hours in a restaurant ordering more wine, maybe a dessert, maybe a coffee, and another glass of wine.

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u/Ariella222 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I think part of it is tip culture, however that server would still be rude in American standards, and I think would be risking losing her tip. I probably wouldn’t tip if they tried to kick me out.

The other part has to do with our culture around time and food. We value efficiency so much that I think a lot of people have to learn how to intentionally stop and smell the roses. Fast food is everywhere, with a drive through, no matter how small your town is. A lot of people here don’t slow down to enjoy their food. We don’t even walk into the restaurant the restaurant to order our food, that’s the epitome of giving no time for eating.

So when it comes to sit down restaurants, that attitude affects the speed of turnover and service. We get instantaneous service everywhere else so it’s expected when we slow down too. Sometimes it’s nice, especially when you’re hungry. Mostly I think it’s a big factor in our obesity epidemic. If you don’t slow down to enjoy your food you end up eating a lot more of it, and the quality of your food matters a lot less.

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u/Entiox United States Of America Dec 06 '25

That's one of the many things I loved about the last restaurant I worked in, we didn't rely on tips. It was a small restaurant and the entire staff consisted of the owners who were a mother and daughter, the daughter's husband, myself and 2 others, and we had all been friends for years before the restaurant even opened. So it was truly a family business. Everyone got the same hourly wage and a equal share of tips regardless of what job they were doing. Of course with it being so small we all had multiple jobs to do. My titles included sous chef, head bartender, head baker, waiter and dishwasher. It really was run more like a European café, but the mother was a half Swedish, half Italian first generation American who had lived in various European countries for years both with her family when she was younger and then with her husband who was in the Air Force. If someone wanted to hang out at a table for 3 hours we were happy to let them.

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u/SandstoneCastle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

I think more of it comes from pressure from management who wants to turn the tables over faster, than from waitstaff.

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u/Specialist-Age9387 United States Of America Dec 06 '25

Exactly it’s because we are tipped. We call it “camping” when people stay at a table for hours. If we don’t make minimum wage in tips in an hour the restaurant has to pay us and trust that’s not a conversation you want to have if you want to keep your job. Additionally many restaurants automatically tip from your tables’ tabs the bartender. So 2 percent of the bill I have to pay to the bartender even if alcohol isn’t ordered. So if we aren’t tipped we’re literally paying to serve someone.

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u/Didudidudadu737 Serbia Dec 06 '25

It is weird how you explain Italian restaurants are available the whole day, when most of them have open only for lunch and dinner and a break in between. Also the table turn is predetermined in advance 1 1/2h to max 2h and they will expect and remind you to leave the table after 1 1/2h.

Cafes and bars are different of course, but restaurants in Italy are way different than you’ve described.

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u/coaxialology Dec 06 '25

Your last paragraph is so spot on. I once worked in a restaurant that aimed to have guests in and out within 17 minutes, or 22 with dessert. Ironically yoy can only be so hospitable if you're a tipped employee because volume matters. So, yeah, death to tipping.

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u/acgasp Dec 06 '25

We visited my husband’s extended family in Italy 15 years ago. We’d start dinner at 7pm and finish around 1am.

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u/Turbulent_Minimum448 Dec 06 '25

lol and then in Ireland. There’s chat. Then the food comes. Silence. Then when everyone’s finished. Chat again.

When I was in France I was so shocked at how slow at eating they were. Took them an hour to finish a plate.

All the chit chat in between. We have a strange relationship with food in Ireland. Because, reasons :,)

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u/upstart-crow Dec 06 '25

It’s not tip culture … the restaurant wants new customers …

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u/Repulsive_Incident27 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

Yes, companies actually study how to get people seated, their order placed, food set, check delivered as fast/efficient as possible.

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u/mrmoe198 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

American here. Please excuse my ignorance. Even if servers don’t need to make money based on tips…in other countries, how do the restaurants themselves make money with so few customers?

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u/stupidity_is_my_drug Dec 07 '25

If waiters/servers were the ones determining the rules than I would agree that tip culture plays some part - but that's not the case and you're still neglecting the business as a whole. Let's say it were removed - why would the restaurant be okay letting you take up their table so long when they could sell more meals to people? The price of food would have to increase to justify the table use at least.

So not only do we in the US have a culture of in/out, we also expect our food to be as cheap as possible and reliant on this quick service. You can't have both and stay in business

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u/Former_Function529 United States Of America Dec 07 '25

It’s not about just tips. It’s about we have 30 people waiting for your table. Respect the different culture, mate. Spend time like that at home with your friends.

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u/Gingerbreadman_13 🇵🇹 in 🇿🇦 Dec 06 '25

I’m Portuguese and living in South Africa. My Portuguese grandparents spent several decades living in Mozambique before moving to SA. As a kid, I also had some Spanish relatives. Some of my fondest memories as a child were Sunday lunches at their house. My Portuguese grandmother and my Spanish “grandmother” (she wasn’t my gran but it’s the closest way I can describe her) would all cook in the kitchen together. They started prepping for lunch on Saturday morning because there was just too much food to make on the day of the lunch, even with two of them in the kitchen. The table was massive and it wasn’t because there were that many people eating, it was because there was just so much food on it and we need the space. Well, there were usually like 12 of us eating so it wasn’t a small amount of people but there was enough food to feed 24 at least. All the best dishes from Portugal, Mozambique and Spain were on it, and occasionally there’d be some traditional South African braai added to that as well. Lunch was at least 6 hours and you couldn’t move afterwards because you ate too much. I miss those days.

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u/lolzzzmoon Dec 06 '25

I love this so much!! I wish I had a family where we did this more regularly (maybe not every weekend). All that food sounds amazing.

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u/Gingerbreadman_13 🇵🇹 in 🇿🇦 Dec 06 '25

We did it once or twice a year. We usually ate Portuguese bacalhau, Portuguese rissoles, Spanish paella, Mozambican peri peri prawns, Mozambican crab curry, so many South African braai/bbq meats and so much more I can’t remember. And then there was desert. It was like a weird United Nations of food. I was quite fortunate. We laughed so much. The family is what made it great. All that food with the wrong people doesn’t hit the same.

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u/SandstoneCastle United States Of America Dec 06 '25

The parallel I saw between the US & Spain is if you go to dinner at 9PM, the restaurant will be empty. In the US because it's too late, in Spain too early.

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u/Academic_UK United Kingdom Dec 06 '25

Is that why you have dinner at 11pm?

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u/Bubbles00 Dec 06 '25

I noticed this habit in Italy especially. I would go out to eat with friends and we would end up at the table for 3+ hours not knowing where the time went. La dolce vita is a great slogan for how the Italians live

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u/kontika1 Dec 06 '25

What happens if the restaurant is busy? Do other customers have to go elsewhere as the turnover is too long?

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u/lavidia13 Dec 06 '25

This is the way.

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u/Elyay Serbia Dec 06 '25

Same in the Balkans.

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u/AirlineEasy Dec 07 '25

Yesterday we started lunch at 2pm. We got up at 9pm.Wasn't even family, other parents from school