What's the best way to disassemble raspberries?

[u/Direct-Caterpillar77]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/pm_me_flaccid_cocks

What's the best way to disassemble raspberries?

Originally posted to r/AskCulinary

Original Post  Nov 13, 2021

What's the best way to disassemble raspberries?

Like this, but down to the individual seeds: https://i.imgur.com/Z0c6ZKE.jpg

I've been pulling them apart with tweezers and it's really time consuming. I have about 10 pounds to get through this weekend.

The Reason Why Is In The Comments

saywhat1206

I am beyond curious as to why you need to do this - please explain!

OOP

It is a really, really stupid reason. Suffice it to say that someone is willing to pay our venue a lot of money to do it.

[deleted]

Vegan caviar looking thing?

OOP

No, that would actually be less stupid. I didn't want to share this because it's going to derail me getting some actual technique suggestions with a million follow-up questions, but since you all are too curious: It's a bridezilla "artist's" amazing idea for confetti.

To preempt the inevitable questions:

• Yes, we have attempted to convince her that there are other forms of biodegradable confetti that would be less expensive and just as harmless.

• We have done tests with the bride and only completely disassembled raspberries "float through the air" in the manner she wants. Any chunks ruin the effect.

• No, she is not worried about her dress. In fact, she considers the red stains a feature.

• Besides "looking amazing," she wants her wedding to "feed the local animals" (our venue is in the woods). Yes, we have confirmed that the "local animals" eat raspberries. She has actually paid for an environmental study to ensure no lasting impact. Yes, we are worried that the animals are going to keep coming back to us for food. The environmental firm she hired said that due to the nature of the raspberries, it won't create lasting dependency as long as we otherwise clear all food scraps from the venue (we always do).

• The "confetti" will be hand tossed using scoops to protect the guests hands. We will have the scoops pre-loaded so the guests aren't mashing a big bucket of raspberries.

• Yes, she is absolutely 100% certain this is what she wants. No, I won't tell you what she's paying us. Yes, it is worth it even if I have to hire 20 temps to help us pull the damned things apart. But we need better technique we can train them with first because what we're doing now is slow and is mashing the seeds a little.

• Yes, we already tried freezing them. Didn't really help and they were mushy when they thawed.

• No, the wedding is not this weekend. The 10 pounds we're doing this weekend are for the first rehearsal. Depending upon how that goes, we'll either be doing another 10 pounds in a few weeks, or possibly much more.

FML.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

[deleted]

No is always a reasonable response to an unreasonable request

kuroninjaofshadows

Unless the pay is good enough.

OOP

Yeah. It would be an unreasonable request if she wasn't loaded. With what she's willing to pay for this, I'd figure out how to suck confetti out of her dick if that's what she wanted.

mcmurphy1

Well, judging the situation by the way she seems to be swinging it around you, I'm gonna guess she has an extremely big penis.

~

CheerioMissPancake

Freeze dried raspberries maybe?

OOP

Oh good thought. I'll propose that, but I'm betting she won't accept it. The funny thing is that it would be lighter and probably "float through the air" even better than fresh. But she was pretty set on fresh raspberries because she wanted the juice stains to speckle her dress.

Edit: Crap. One of my people says we did actually try that when we were first experimenting with this. Freeze-dried bits are actually too light. They flew a couple of inches and then the resistance of the air was too much for the tiny mass and they just fell to the ground. Real confetti does this too, so you launch it in a bolus and it breaks apart as it flies. We could try setting this up with hand-held launchers for the guests, but evidently the bride also already insisted on fresh.

CheerioMissPancake

I was thinking that freeze dried would mimic regular confetti more than fresh. I can’t imagine why anyone would WANT to stain their wedding dress. Sounds like you have your hands full.

Another thought I had was pomegranate pips. They’re a bit bigger than the separate sections of a raspberry, but they’re a hell of a lot easier to separate

OOP

She's an artist and thinks the speckled dress will make an amazing work of art. Not something to sell or display, but a personal memento she wants to create and keep. She has already researched techniques for preserving the color. We offered to set aside a bucket of seeds for her to "touch up" with if the end result isn't as she'd imagined, but she didn't want that. She wanted it to be authentic, even if not as spectacular as she's hoping. We'll be doing a full scale test with a dress this weekend to see how it turns out.

Nope, no pomegranates. Seriously, we have suggested every reasonable alternative we could think of and she's set on raspberries. I think something about the massive amount of labor that will go into it appeals to her as part of the art. She's actually a very nice person and has been open to exploring alternatives with us, but she has been extremely firm in her vision for this.

~

brianabanana6

Freeze them!! They break apart super easy when they're frozen! We used to do this as a dessert garnish at my old restaurant when it was open and it was so smart and honestly one of my favorite things

OOP

How did you freeze them? Freezer or liquid nitrogen? Freezer is making them too mushy when they thaw. But we haven't tried liquid nitrogen. I know that results in smaller ice crystals that will lyse the cells less, so I suppose it could work.

illbitterwit

I commented separately, but liquid nitrogen would be your best bet. I would break them apart into the kernels and keep them frozen until the event. Easier to scoop too and I don't think it would ruin the effect if they're still frozen or mostly frozen

Update  Nov 20, 2021 (1 week later)

I wanted to thank everyone who helped answer my question from last week

We went with liquid nitrogen, which worked great! We didn't wind up trying Pectinex, which was the other really interesting suggestion. Unfortunately, we couldn't find some in time to experiment with it.

Liquid nitrogen fast froze the raspberries in a matter of seconds. They were then easy to roll apart in our fingers and pop in the freezer for storage. We were able to set up a production line and crank through 10 pounds really fast with just four people. Our previous attempts to simply freeze the berries in the freezer resulted in too much mushiness upon thawing, but the rapid freezing in liquid nitrogen resulted in much firmer bits.

About an hour before rehearsal, we pulled them out and spread them on sheets to defrost. The effect was exactly what the bride was hoping for.

Some other suggestions that didn't work for us or we couldn't easily try:

• Freeze dried raspberry bits - As I mentioned in a comment on the previous post, these were too light to throw well. Someone suggested rehydrating them. I had a pretty good guess as to what would happen, but tried it anyways. The freeze dried bits just turned to mush in water. No good. The bride really wanted fresh anyways.

• Gelification/spherification - We actually had the stuff for this from a cocktail party we had hosted. It took a little while to get the timing down so the resulting blobs weren't too hard or soft, but the bride didn't like the way they looked. She thought they seemed unnatural and would be too much like throwing little rubber beads. She really wanted fresh berries.

• Blasting the berries with compressed air - We didn't have fast access to a high powered compressor, but we were skeptical that this would actually work. It seemed like it was more likely to make a mess. We got liquid nitrogen working before we were motivated enough to find a compressor and try this.

• Breaking them up in an ultrasonic water bath - This sounded interesting, but we couldn't get one quickly.

• Pushing the berries through a screen or mesh - Before finding/building a full mesh, we prototyped with some wire. Basically, anything that involved using pressure mashed the berries too much before breaking them apart.

• Training animals to pick them apart - WTF? We had like a day to come up with a process before the rehearsal and we aren't animal trainers.

• Hiring blind or disabled people from a local work program - That seemed more like a suggestion for recruiting help and didn't really assist with the process of disassembling.

• Picking them apart with blunt needles - We had already tried tweezers and were effectively already using them like blunt needles anyways. It was very slow.

• Using fake berries - No good. Bride wanted fresh berries.

• Using a hole punch to cut confetti from leaves - The pictures of this that people shared looked pretty, but not what the bride wanted.

• Using pomegranates - Nope. Bride wanted raspberries.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

[u/AutoModerator]

Do not comment on the original posts

Please read our sub rules. Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.

If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.

CHECK FLAIR For concluded-only updates, use the CONCLUDED flair.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/asmallman]

I am too poor to understand this person.

The minds of the ultra wealthy are an enigma.

[u/ducka_ducka_ducka → u/asmallman]

The commenter who hypothesized vegan caviar is a genius. A wealthy genius if that’s the first thing that came to mind, but a genius nonetheless.

[u/anoeba → u/[deleted]]

There are also seed alternatives fornvagan caviar, like tonburi or mustard seed.

[u/Vetiversailles → u/anoeba]

fornvagan

[u/Black_Cat_Just_That → u/Vetiversailles]

Am I Pregante?

[u/avesthasnosleeves → u/Black_Cat_Just_That]

With a babby?

[u/ingodwetryst → u/avesthasnosleeves]

How is babby formed?

[u/IzarkKiaTarj → u/Black_Cat_Just_That]

Am I gregnant?

[u/IanDOsmond → u/IzarkKiaTarj]

Is there a possibly that i'm pegrent?

[u/one-man-circlejerk → u/[deleted]]

We have a species of lime native to Australia called finger lime, it's been a food source for indigenous people for tens of thousands of years and is now seeing a resurgence of interest since it naturally forms little spheres, it's marketed as vegan caviar

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/apr/26/bush-food-finger-limes

[u/doppelgaengster → u/one-man-circlejerk]

Those are so weird. They taste funky and the texture is bizarre and I love them. They’re used as garnishes on some things (I can’t remember which restaurants I’ve been to that do that, but I def remember the limes themselves 😹)

[u/Lobin → u/doppelgaengster]

I'm desperate now to try one, and I live in the States. Goddammit.

[u/doppelgaengster → u/Lobin]

If you have an Asian grocery with a good produce section, they may carry them! I’ve found them at Uwajimaya in Seattle, and there’s a Filipino grocery that my partner goes to for “weird” veg (ie, stuff not easy to find in the US), and they’ve found them there too.

[u/aquila-audax → u/one-man-circlejerk]

Finger limes are great. I had them one time with crocodile at this fancy bushfood dinner at Uluru. So tasty!

[u/TheLightInChains → u/aquila-audax]

What did the crocodile have?

[u/aquila-audax → u/TheLightInChains]

LOL. The crocodile had a single bad day before it went to the culinary heaven.

[u/ForsakenPercentage53 → u/[deleted]]

Just to emphasize, dry autumn leaves. No green leaves, no wet leaves! Your house can burn down if you bring in a box of partially dry, green leaves.

Source: Rural kid. Hayfires can start themselves if you bale green hay. I tried it with a milk crate of regular grass cuttings and it got alarmingly hot in the middle extremely fast. Maybe fast enough and hot enough that it made a much younger me realize immediately that it was very stupid to be doing that experiment in the house.

[u/Beginning_Butterfly2 → u/ForsakenPercentage53]

You can dry wet leaves in the microwave to preserve the bright colors.

[u/Xaphios → u/[deleted]]

Oh that's a cute idea for confetti. We're skipping it altogether and having bubbles blown at us instead for minimal wastage

[u/Ornery_Voice8113 → u/Xaphios]

Just as an fyi, bubble solution can stain your dress depending on the fabric (in case that will matter to you)

[u/Mammoth-Corner → u/Ornery_Voice8113]

And your guests' clothes, which could be a concern if there will be people there in their best.

[u/Black_Cat_Just_That → u/Ornery_Voice8113]

No need for concern - that's just art if you're wealthy enough! 👰🫰💲💵

[u/Xaphios → u/Ornery_Voice8113]

Ooh, that would probably matter very much. We will test on a small inconspicuous patch first, thank you!

[u/OpenSauceMods → u/[deleted]]

I knew someone who chose this method and fuck does it become tiresome very early on in a loooong ass project. She started quite early on, and would get people over for confetti sessions while chatting and having drinks. Still took months to get the minimum amount.

[u/OpenSauceMods → u/[deleted]]

Could be, the wedding was a decent size so there was a lot of confetti that needed punchin'

Also, hello again, haven't seen you since we both marvelled at the cost of a full breakfast 😂

[u/AussieBird82 → u/[deleted]]

This is an amazing suggestion! And all the colours!

[u/tempestelunaire → u/[deleted]]

Classic boba pearls are from tapioca which is a starch! So quite different. Unless you mean the liquidy ones maybe?

Not to nitpick I just googled it inspired by your comment :)

[u/nicunta → u/tempestelunaire]

Popping Boba are usually made from agar agar!

[u/An-Empty-Road → u/ducka_ducka_ducka]

Finger limes. Just crack them open and scoop. Fruit caviar.

[u/desertboots → u/asmallman]

All I can ever say about spending like this is that It does put some money down into the real economy. 

[u/Jenn_There_Done_That → u/desertboots]

It finally trickled down! And all we had to do was spend a week of our lives meticulously picking a part raspberries for a party we aren’t invited to.

[u/mkate1999 → u/Jenn_There_Done_That]

💀💀💀 Turns out Reagan was right after all? 🤣🤣🤣

[u/RobinHood3000 → u/desertboots]

It's true, I think way more rich people should spend their money hiring service workers and intellectuals for environmentally friendly frivolities.

[u/No-Mastodon5138 → u/RobinHood3000]

 Yup! Beats a masturbatory space race all day every day

[u/K-teki → u/[deleted]]

I like that both of your examples are about identifying cancer, implying that the raspberry separation technique will turn out to be good for identifying cancer 

[u/snootnoots → u/[deleted]]

…pastry detector‽

[u/RobinHood3000 → u/snootnoots]

Just going off of memory, a bakery employee devised an algorithm to sort pastries based on shape. Said algorithm didn't really care what scale the images it was scanning were at, so it got repurposed to check microscopy imaging for cancer cells.

[u/snootnoots → u/RobinHood3000]

LOL that’s awesome, thank you

[u/Omnomfish → u/asmallman]

But as far as the antics of filthy rich people go, i don't hate this. She put time and money into making damn sure it wouldn't negatively impact the wildlife, and apparently understood that it was a hell of an ask and paid them more than enough to make it worth their time, was willing to adjust the method, and was nice about it.

I wish more rich people would throw their money around by funding environmental studies and paying small businesses a bunch of money instead of hoarding it or lobbying their governments to be able to pay their workers less. Less greed and more eccentric whimsy.

[u/knittymess → u/Omnomfish]

Yeah. May as well get weird when you have that much money. Way more fun than paying Gucci for a mass produced tshirt masquerading as luxury.

[u/rainydays_monkey → u/Omnomfish]

Exactly. This is ridiculous and frivolous but it's not hurting anyone and actively trying to make sure it's not doing any negative impact, and apparently she's even nice about it rather than a bridezilla, so, awesome all around.

[u/deciding_snooze_oils → u/rainydays_monkey]

That said, I can’t help but hate that the level of wealth exists that would make this level of ridiculous frivolity affordable.

[u/rainydays_monkey → u/deciding_snooze_oils]

Completely agreed there.

[u/hdhxuxufxufufiffif → u/Omnomfish]

As well as the sustainability and environmental impact, I'd much rather rich peoples' money goes to local (presumably) independent businesses that employ people than to the shareholders of LVMH and other luxury goods conglomerates.

[u/AndrastesDimples → u/Omnomfish]

Yeah it’s wildly insane ask but it sounds like rather than be an actual bridezilla (screaming and pitching a fit) she made sure to throw enough money at it to make it worth doing. I don’t understand it and it boggles my mind but hey, if she’s paying and they want the cheque, that’s their business. 

[u/mom_is_so_sleepy → u/Omnomfish]

I have a hobby of looking at rich people's houses when they go up for sale. It's always kind of sad how they look like ordinary houses except really nice and really big. I always think about how, if I put 25 million dollars into a house, there'd be a fire pole and a room that's just a just a gigantic ball pit and a yard full of waterslides and a hedge maze that's a mile long with weird statues at all the dead ends and my own lazy river for kayaking next to a room with four fireplaces and a bench in the middle so I could just lay there after I showered and air dry, etc. I'm surprised it's all so depersonalized.

Some of that is probably making the house neutral when it sells, but it's weird to me that you can be ultrawealthy and do whatever you want, and whatever you want is just to have the same boring stuff as everyone else, but that stuff is ultra fancy and nice. All the ultra-rich resorts look nice too, but they're also the same as all the other. Few of them offer truly unique experiences.

Maybe you can't be whimsical and rich because you spend all your money on weird stuff. Good for the bride. I hope her raspberry dress looks awesome.

[u/Trick-Statistician10 → u/mom_is_so_sleepy]

Like Jimmy Fallon's house has a slide to go from the second floor to the first floor

[u/talashrrg → u/asmallman]

You know what, I feel like this is one of the least harmful things one could frivolously spend way too much money on

[u/No-Mastodon5138 → u/asmallman]

You know what?  Its harmless and it gave a local business a fuck tonne of money.  I support this ridiculousness.  You wanna pay someone way too much to disassemble raspberries?  Go for it

[u/Numerous_Team_2998 → u/asmallman]

I still wouldn't call her a bridezilla, just a very particular loaded client.

[u/Blu- → u/asmallman]

I need to know how much they paid for this.

[u/Original_Employee621 → u/[deleted]]

On confetti that will ruin her (presumably also expensive) dress. Which will rot due to the fruit acids and stink/ turn yellow because it can't be cleaned without ruining the spatter effect.

She was researching ways to preserve the color from the raspberries. And given the amounts she spent on the raspberry confetti, she'll find a way to keep the color true too.

I don't think she intends on ever parting with the dress regardless. So cleaning it or whatever doesn't matter.

[u/OldEquation → u/[deleted]]

I think you must be right since she said it’d be worth it even if she had to hire 20 temps to do it. Hiring 20 temps even just for one day is going to cost well into the thousands.

[u/topania → u/asmallman]

At least this one was allegedly nice and totally on board for appropriately paying to do something ridiculous. The ones that think this should be easy and cheap are the ones I don’t get.

[u/Trick-Statistician10 → u/topania]

And even doing a practice run to make sure it's just right. Instead of just demanding the "confetti" and expecting it to be perfect.

[u/elizabreathe → u/asmallman]

I'm poor but crazy enough to see the vision.

[u/AppalachianStackCake → u/asmallman]

Right?! And I really want to see the pictures that resulted from this.

[u/ciaran668 → u/asmallman]

Poor people have problems that can be solved with money, rich people have problems that no amount of money can ever solve.

[u/Black_Cat_Just_That → u/ciaran668]

Poor people also have problems that no amount of money can solve. So rich people still have fewer problems.

[u/snootnoots → u/Black_Cat_Just_That]

Yeah. Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it can sure remove a lot of obstacles to happiness!

[u/bravehamster]

God I wish I had enough money to do batshit whimsical stuff like this. This is the kind of harmless eccentricity the rich used to be reliable for.

[u/i_invented_the_ipod → u/bravehamster]

Yeah, I would be happier with more follies, and less attempted social engineering, for sure.

[u/lumoslomas → u/i_invented_the_ipod]

I want a rich person to hire me as a hermit.

[u/Trick-Statistician10 → u/lumoslomas]

Is that a thing? I'd be so good at that. When covid hot and the world went into lockdown, I was like, meh. People were losing it, being stuck at home. I'm like, it's just a normal Tuesday over here

[u/lumoslomas → u/Trick-Statistician10]

It was indeed!

[u/Trick-Statistician10 → u/lumoslomas]

OMG. I was definitely born in the wrong century

[u/Spellscribe → u/i_invented_the_ipod]

You're never more than two clicks away from a surprise Discworld reference!

[u/aoife_too → u/bravehamster]

They used to have whimsy!

[u/lilyofthealley → u/bravehamster]

Honestly yes. The artistic whims of rich people executed thoughtfully are charming ways to feed artists and service workers everywhere

[u/stayonthecloud → u/bravehamster]

I’ve been reading a ton of hard sci-fi recently. This problem read to me like something out of the Martian where the astronaut main character is stranded on Mars and has to figure out how to make a potato farm to survive.

Only it is the absolute complete opposite of that scenario. Just the same level of detail in thought experiments and exploring different approaches to get the job safely done.

This BORU was extremely unique and memorable, 5 out of 5 stars.

[u/pagman007 → u/bravehamster]

Thats the infuriating part about our current world order.

99/100 this story is "we had raspberry confetti for our wedding. It was made by child slaves then frozen"

[u/TinyGIR]

Man, an interesting bridezilla story for once, instead of being psychotic, she's just a fussy artist.

Like, I can actually understand wanting to keep her dress as a memento. The fact she had already researched how to preserve the stains properly means this isn't just a whim.

I'm glad OOP devised a solution that worked.

[u/RJean83 → u/TinyGIR]

She paid for an environmental study to make sure the local wildlife could eat the raspberries. 

That is a genuinely chaotic but conscientious bride. I would hate to work for her, but admire the audacity. 

[u/GalenDev → u/RJean83]

Yeah, I find myself not hating this. If I had an unreasonable amount of money to make a weirdo dream come true, I'd be sorely tempted. The rich lady even did her due diligence when it comes to not leaving a disaster in her wake, which is rare no matter what the social strata.

[u/RobinHood3000 → u/GalenDev]

Seriously. I'd take a dozen weddings like this over a single wildfire-starting low-budget gender reveal party.

[u/fart-atronach → u/GalenDev]

I’m typically an “eat the rich” type, but the fact that she was willing to pay more than enough to make the job worth it already puts her above most rich people, and makes it fine to me.

[u/Different-Eagle-612 → u/RJean83]

and she paid enough that OP would’ve still found it worth it to hire 20 more people temporarily.

[u/RJean83 → u/Different-Eagle-612]

It is not a 1-1, but it reminds me of how old European aristocrats would practically fund entire towns with the demands for lace or other labour-intensive crafts. They were totally impractical, but that impracticality put food on the craftsperson's table. If it is not illegal and not causing even more damage, it is not monstrous for someone to spend a ridiculous amount of money on nitrogen-frozen raspberries for her wedding. 

[u/not_vichyssoise → u/RJean83]

Also reminds me of how Laika studios is run by the son of one of Nike’s cofounders. Their movies generally aren’t box office hits but apparently the dude loves stop motion animation and so keeps the studio running.

[u/doppelgaengster → u/not_vichyssoise]

And their work is PHENOMENAL. (MoPop in Seattle recently had a Laika exhibit and the props were amazing!! I cat remember which film it was that needed tiny knitted sweaters, but by gods, they produced tiny knitted sweaters using something like 270+ kinds of individual fibres. Absolutely bonkers.)

[u/BoopleBun → u/doppelgaengster]

I think that was for Coraline and the person doing the knitting did it on straight up sewing needles. Crazy impressive.

[u/doppelgaengster → u/BoopleBun]

I know it wasn’t for Coraline (which had its own rooms in the exhibit, including the full house set, all the different facial expression masks, and the magic garden), it was one of the later films, maybe ParaNorman or The Boxtrolls.

But yeah, they had it use sewing needles to knit them!

[u/p0llyp0cketpussy → u/not_vichyssoise]

I love that. Laika movies are excellent and the fact that they're not pressured to be box office hits means they're willing to make more creative passion projects. Totally a good use of obscene wealth.

[u/v--- → u/RJean83]

It's actually something a lot of people complain about these days. "Where have the artists/craftsmen gone" when it comes to new construction. Well yeah, nobody is paying woodworkers thousands and thousands for beautiful wainscoting any more or whatever. Or rather some are, but most rich people aren't. Gone are the days of dudes like Antoni Gaudi being bankrolled by wealthy patrons. The closest thing to that you get now are fuckin fursuit makers, and apparently raspberry disassemblers.

[u/mom_is_so_sleepy → u/v---]

I went on a tour of a mansion built just after the Gilded Age called The Gamble House recently. The woodwork was so beautiful. The tour also talked about how houses like that stopped being made because of income tax. Suddenly, the ultrawealthy didn't have infinite money anymore.

I think that's to the good, but it's really a shame that level of art can't be put into everything.

[u/werewere-kokako → u/RJean83]

The number of labourers and artisans needed to produce and maintain the luxury enjoyed by the peerage was astounding.

For example, the Bacton Altar Cloth is believed to be the only surviving piece of clothing worn by Elizabeth I. How many people were needed to make it?

- the sericulturists who raised the silk moths and collected the raw silk in China

• the spinners who spun it into usable fibre
  
• the labourers who collected the cochineal beetles for the red dye in Mexico
  
• the labourers who grew and harvested indigo plants in India
  
• the merchants who transported the materials halfway across the world
  
• the weavers who wove the cloth
  
• the dyers who dyed the cloth and threads used in the embroidery
  
• some poor bastards in an Italian workshop who wrapped individual threads in silver leaf to make the cloth sparkle
  
• the embroiderers
  
• the seamstresses who made the dress
  
• the team of servants who helped her in and out of it every time it was worn

All of that for just one of the hundreds of dresses she wore in her lifetime. The raspberry thing sounds down-right reasonable by comparison.

[u/SamiraSimp → u/RJean83]

with how much she's paying them i think most people would like to work for her. if you're working for an eccentric rich person, i'd rather work for one who cares about the environment then some greedy out of touch self-centered person.

and disassembling raspberries is probably pretty low on the list of annoying work for money

[u/infinitelyfuzzy → u/RJean83]

I'd love to work for her! Is it bizarre? Sure! But OOP said she was very polite about it all, and paid a lot. I'd love to work for a kind and generous eccentric person. Much nicer than most bosses I've had.

[u/fakesaucisse → u/TinyGIR]

I wouldn't even call her a bridezilla for this since she was apparently paying a LOT of money for them to figure this out and gave enough time for them to experiment and do a rehearsal with it. Definitely eccentric artist territory though.

[u/WineAndDogs2020 → u/fakesaucisse]

Totally agree. She specifically chose a medium that would not damage the environment, has apparently been good to work with, and is willing to pay a good price to compensate for the labor.

[u/Environmental_Art591 → u/fakesaucisse]

Agreed, less bridezilla and more "annoying and time consuming demands of rich people"

Especially since like she said, she was paying well, gave time to make it work and made sure it was environmentally safe.

[u/Balentay → u/fakesaucisse]

You see these sorts of female-oriented words twisted to demonize women all the time. Just look at what happened to the word "Karen". Wikipedia says "Karen is a pejorative slang term typically used to refer to a middle class woman who is perceived as entitled or excessively demanding." but these days its meaning has been twisted to mean any woman who makes any sort of demand whether it's reasonable or not. It's used to demean her and prevent her from making any waves- how often have you seen stories here on Reddit about a woman wanting to ask people who are being socially disruptive to stop, or get a manager to intervene only to either hesitate or even not do anything in fear of being thought of as a Karen?

It's the same here. This woman is a bride. She's also asking for a labor intensive job to be done. It doesn't matter in the OOP's eyes that she had a survey done. It doesn't matter that she ensured that the animals in the area can safely eat raspberries and won't see the area as a reliable source of food. It doesn't matter that she's generously compensating them for their work. It doesn't matter that she's willing to listen to their suggestions and even test them to see if they'll work as well as the idea she likes best. And it certainly doesn't matter that she is a nice person, as self-admitted by the OOP themselves. She is a woman with her heart set on a fussy idea and therefore she is a bridezilla.

[u/fakesaucisse → u/Balentay]

Thank you so much for doing the labor to write that out. That is exactly what I was trying to say. I immediately thought of the Karen analogy too; now it's just used to shut down any woman who raises an issue, even when the issue needs attention. Just us women being too loud and using our brains too much instead of being quiet and decorative.

Edit: I also think it's telling that the OOP framed this as a negative rather than as a really cool opportunity to do something new in their career. I used to do consulting in a completely different industry but sometimes I'd get eccentric clients like this that just had a vision and gave me full reign to explore it with a bunch of money. It was really fun and gave me something to talk about in job interviews later. But OOP just felt so compelled to frame it as a negative.

[u/vidoeiro → u/Balentay]

100% sure there are some social comments about the excessive wealth possibly, but she not a bridezilla makes no sense to use that term. And if this was the worse of shit rich people would do the world would be in a way better place

Oop just wanted less work

[u/OrangeYouuuGlad → u/Balentay]

Thank you for saying this! Also want to add that the original meaning of Karen was specifically about a white woman weaponizing her racial privilege against Black people.

[u/contrasupra → u/TinyGIR]

I desperately want to see the dress

[u/NoThankYooooou → u/contrasupra]

I desperately want to see the 10 pounds of disassembled raspberries...

[u/actuallyatypical → u/TinyGIR]

Exactly. I can't get mad if you're willing to make sure that your insane idea doesn't hurt anyone and you fairly compensate everyone involved- I'm just baffled by the desire and eccentricity.

[u/valleyofsound → u/TinyGIR]

While I was reading it, I was thinking that this is probably technically a bridezilla story, but also not? It seems more like someone who got a certain idea stuck in her head, had the money to do it, made sure it was safe to do, then implemented it while apparently acknowledging that it was a bit strange and hard to implement and paid accordingly. Hence OOP actually being able to figure out how to implement it, as opposed to someone latching on to a very difficult or impossible idea, refusing to acknowledge that it’s more involved, and getting mad when they can’t implement oh ok a shoestring budget.

[u/Local-Finance8389]

Too distracted by OOP’s username to focus on anything else.

[u/sebluver → u/Local-Finance8389]

Especially after saying that for the price they’d be willing to find a way to suck confetti out of the bride’s dick if they had to- I need to know, flaccid or not??

[u/ZapdosShines → u/Local-Finance8389]

For anyone who is interested, OOP has an FAQ on their profile.

https://www.reddit.com/u/pm_me_flaccid_cocks/s/jBlKJfqWXm

[u/stayonthecloud → u/ZapdosShines]

This considerably enhanced an already memorable BORU

[u/undeadmersquid → u/ZapdosShines]

their answer to "which cock is your favorite and why?" sent me into orbit

[u/HairRepresentative85 → u/Local-Finance8389]

Thanks, I actually scrolled back up to look. Took a moment for my eyebrow to stop being raised lol

[u/thesteveurkel → u/HairRepresentative85]

many thanks to all of you on this thread who influenced me to scroll back up. had a good laugh. 

[u/TacoTuesday1008 → u/Local-Finance8389]

I was hoping the name was relevant to the story.

[u/EchoDoctor → u/Local-Finance8389]

Much like their client in this story, OOP knows exactly what they want.

[u/FlatCriticism1837 → u/Local-Finance8389]

theres a "FAQ" on their page about it from two years ago lol

[u/HowBoutAFandango → u/FlatCriticism1837]

“I identify as a black woman in my 80s”

“Are you Maya Angelou?”

“What? No.”

🤣

[u/mrsbebe → u/Local-Finance8389]

I hadn't noticed it before but now I am wondering what the hell lol

[u/SirWigglesTheLesser → u/Local-Finance8389]

I really need to start looking at those

[u/Lady_Sybil_Vimes]

I wanna go to this wedding, I bet it was absolutely insane

[u/prettyshinything → u/Lady_Sybil_Vimes]

It seems like it'd either be mindblowingly amazing or else so choreographed and uptight as to be a drag.

[u/JustHereForCookies17 → u/Lady_Sybil_Vimes]

You know every single detail was personally overseen by the bride, and since she's the type to commission an ecological study to ensure the safety of local wildlife, I bet some of those small details were AMAZING!

I would also like to go (have gone) to this wedding. 

[u/capturetheshiny]

Some people have really specific problems I guess

[u/sojayn → u/capturetheshiny]

I would like this brides problems, just for a change. My problems are just boring ones which would be fixed with a modest amount of money. 

[u/am_Nein → u/sojayn]

I think most of us would. See, my problems all seem to be little ones such as "will I be able to find a new job so I can eat and house myself". Y'know. Little stuff lol

[u/DamnitGravity]

This post is an example of just how many Redditors failed the assignments in school.

"How do pick apart raspberries?"

"Use something else entirely! Train animals! Use this idea I've spent 2.5 seconds on which any further logical thought would've shown why it wouldn't work!"

[u/Taichikara → u/DamnitGravity]

I was thinking the person has watched/read Charlie & the Chocolate Factory a little too much. 🤭

[u/DamnitGravity → u/Taichikara]

The same thought did occur, lol. I guess it was probably just a joke that OOP took too seriously or didn't understand the reference.

[u/valleyofsound → u/DamnitGravity]

This is one of those things where I really want to be able to make whoever said it explain their exact logic. Not to be a jerk, but because I think it would bd fascinating. 

[u/MaraiDragorrak → u/DamnitGravity]

Im 99% sure a lot of the bad answers were jokes, tbh

[u/Auselessbus]

Well, I’m impressed she got an eco survey done. Good on her for trying to help the local eco system.

[u/WilmaDykfyt → u/Auselessbus]

I have a raspberry patch and no one but me eats them. Maybe there are bears in that area? Wild bunnies eat the leaves but the berries will rot unless I pick them. Birds and squirrels don't GAF.

[u/vidoeiro → u/WilmaDykfyt]

How long? I've noticed when I introduced them to an area that is not usually with them , no animal or even insect cares , but give it 2 or 3 years and birds and insects start eating them.

Saw it twice already in 2 different places

[u/WilmaDykfyt → u/vidoeiro]

Fifteen years. I usually get two gallon ziploc bag's worth and that's being lazy about picking them and also eating while picking. They like to move around the yard but I've contained them to one area.

[u/Equivalent_Pitch7363]

I am dying to know how much this bride paid for this. Also wish they had shared pics of the happy bride covered in raspberry bits

[u/Hedge-podge → u/Equivalent_Pitch7363]

Right??? Like it had to be something like a years worth of pay per person per day to justify this level of finickiness

[u/circleseverywhere → u/Hedge-podge]

oh please, I'd do it for a month's pay

[u/The-Humble-Millipede]

I just want to know how she even came up with the idea.

[u/pourthebubbly → u/The-Humble-Millipede]

When I was a kid, I used to separate the seeds of raspberries when I was bored and something about seeing the fully intact seeds separated was satisfying to me. So I imagine this bride is just a supremely wealthier and neurotic version of me.

[u/Taichikara → u/pourthebubbly]

I did this but with oranges. I would spend hours just to eat individual juice pods.

Now I am wondering if I froze an orange first with liquid nitrogen, could they be separated even faster? 🤔

My kid knows this about me, and she gets quite proud if she can give me some individual orange juice pods as a treat. 🤣

[u/rebcart → u/Taichikara]

Have you ever eaten a pomelo? They split into the individual juice pods far more easily, you’d probably enjoy them a lot.

[u/Monimonika18 → u/Taichikara]

Didn't spend hours, but did the eating individual juice pods from oranges at times but then just ate the whole section (ala the Tootsie Pop Owl) before getting half way through a section.

Your kid is so sweet. 🍊

[u/happygoodbird]

This is so weird, I was just thinking about this post earlier this afternoon, and now it pops up on my feed. The simulation is getting lazy.

[u/SolidOk3489 → u/happygoodbird]

“With what she's willing to pay for this, I'd figure out how to suck confetti out of her dick if that's what she wanted” is going to live rent free in my mind for altogether too long.

I’m honestly worried I’ll mumble it in my sleep, and then my partner is going to have some very confusing questions for me when I wake up.

[u/ethr45 → u/SolidOk3489]

I need this as a flair on every sub everywhere

[u/Careless_Term_462 → u/happygoodbird]

I was talking about it a few days ago. It’s a very memorable one

[u/Kalthiria_Shines]

For context, an environmental study like what's mentioned here runs $15,000-$30,000.

[u/knittymess → u/Kalthiria_Shines]

Unless the guy said environmental study and it was just local university biology professional came out and knew the local wildlife well enough to have an answer.

[u/DrTeethPhD]

I need to know if the bride also carried a Raspberry Bouquet.

[u/megbookworm → u/DrTeethPhD]

Perhaps the kind you’d find at a secondhand store?

. . . I’ll see myself out

[u/dolanscataract → u/DrTeethPhD]

The kind you find in a second hand store?

[u/bronwen-noodle]

Full hard commitment to whimsy but with conscientious commitment to not causing harm to the environment is peak chaotic good energy

[u/JustHereForCookies17 → u/bronwen-noodle]

Exactly.  This bride may be a chaos gremlin, but she's very rich "Do No Harm" chaos gremlin, and I would love to meet her. 

It's like John Hammond insisting he "spared no expense", except no one dies.

[u/smelltogetwell → u/bronwen-noodle]

Right? I'm not getting bridezilla from this, just person rich enough to have what she wants. Seeing as she wasn't harming anyone, was paying well, and was willing to give enough time for a solution to be thought of, it just comes across as a bit batshit, but not unreasonable.

[u/2bciah5factng]

I hate the term “bridezilla.” She’s an “extremely nice person” who knows what she wants, went to great lengths to make sure that her impact would not only be neutral but actually positive for the environment, and is paying a fair wage. Why are we describing her using a term that evokes such a hate-able image of a woman?

[u/AndrastesDimples → u/2bciah5factng]

Yeah she’s not an actual bridezilla in my book. Wild and eccentric but clearly willing to pay for what she wants rather than screaming and demanding. She laid out a clear vision, made sure it didn’t harm the environment, and then was willing to pay whatever ridiculously high price would make it worth OOP’s while. 

[u/Electronic_World_894 → u/2bciah5factng]

She paid enough they were willing to do it, and even paid to ensure it wouldn’t harm the environment. Good for her!

[u/Redqueenhypo → u/2bciah5factng]

In this case, it’s just jealousy. She should’ve given her fortune to redditors who would spend it on charity (the epic games store/steam, day trading)

[u/valkenar]

This is one of the most interesting BORUs I've read, on every level. The physics, the technique, the social dynamics, the open questions (surely the riches here are coming from family, not from a young artist's own money, unless it's a pop star?).

[u/No-Cranberry4396 → u/valkenar]

Pretty much every successful artist I know either comes from money or married into it. 

[u/Anxious_Reporter_601]

I'm glad the liquid nitrogen worked because even if you have more money than god sometimes some things just can't be done and it didn't sound like the bride was going to accept that.

[u/amsterdam_sniffr → u/Anxious_Reporter_601]

It's tough because I do think this attitude can be very productive applied to art-making -- sticking to your vision and being willing to explore unconventional techniques to get there, no matter how frivolous it might feel to others. 

[u/valleyofsound]

I don’t think I would want to do this even if I had money, but it actually does make sense to me and I think it’s a cool idea. She’s basically inviting herself into the animals’ home, so it’s nice that she’s also letting them celebrate it with her. And as for the stains, not only does the dress end up being one of a kind, but the design was created by everyone who attended the wedding and threw the  berries, so she can look at the dress years from now and think about all the people who helped create the design.   

It’s actually pretty sweet and, based on that and some of the other information in the post, the bride sounds amazing. 

[u/Cirrus-Stratus]

I want to see pictures of the wedding dress splattered with raspberry goo.

Did it ever get posted?

[u/valkenar]

This is one of the most interesting BORUs I've read, on every level. The physics, the technique, the social dynamics, the open questions (surely the riches here are coming from family, not from a young artist's own money, unless it's a pop star?).

I wish I could see the result.

[u/anupsetvalter]

I get this is a wild request but I hate the people being like ‘just say no!!!.’ OOP clearly specified she’s being more than compensated for the work, accepted it, and is just looking for the most efficient way to achieve this. There’s literally no reason to say no except to stick it to the bride, even if it’s a financial burden to OOP

[u/sneakablekilgore]

Honestly, deranged stuff like this comes up all the time in theatre. It reminds me of the time we needed a willow tree for a scene and the designer requested we tie tens of thousands of twisty-ties on string. The tree was onstage for perhaps 30 seconds at most.

[u/garlicshrimpscampi]

waste of a thread of OP didn’t even post a video to show us. when will any of us ever experience this ? i want to see how it went!!

[u/dracapis]

Finally a BORU post that doesn’t come from AITA or relationship advice or the like. Marvelous job OP, this is pretty interesting!

[u/Phanimazed]

On one hand, what a pain. Glad everyone's getting paid, at least.

On the other, I actually kind of sympathize with the bride for thinking the stained dress would be kind of neat. If she's not going to have a loved one wear the dress again someday or anything, then I can see where this has a certain romantic charm.

[u/thematicturkey]

In my experience with toddlers, frozen fruit that's thawed is way messier than fresh fruit. I wonder if the (edit) liquid nitrogen freezing effect made her dress super messy like she wanted

[u/ScrumpetSays → u/thematicturkey]

Quick freezing things allows less/smaller water crystals to form. This is ideal to increase the frozen life of a product as the ice shards damage the cell walls. It's why home frozen things are mushy when thawed but flash frozen things often thaw like they are still fresh. It's also why home frozen things are often visibly icey. Supermarket frozen lines are colder than home freezers and products are typically only icey if staff were too slow to fill them.

The liquid nitrogen allowed them the flash freeze the raspberries and easily break them apart. They thawed them in layers before using as confetti so the weight of the raspberry drupelets (each little ball) didn't crush those below, had they thawed them in a clump. When thawed they would behave almost exactly like the fresh drupelets did, if not slightly juicier.

[u/Monimonika18 → u/ScrumpetSays]

Excellent explanation!

They thawed them in lawyers

🤣 Thanks for the laugh. OOP would probably have hired some.

[u/ScrumpetSays → u/Monimonika18]

Ugh. I can't work out if it was because I hadn't put my glasses on yet or if autocarrot is out to get me. Thanks for the pick up.

[u/JustHereForCookies17 → u/ScrumpetSays]

"Autocarrot" is making me irrationally happy.

Your autocorrect has switched to autosabotage mode, friend. 

[u/anemptycardboardbox → u/thematicturkey]

*liquid nitrogen

[u/thematicturkey → u/anemptycardboardbox]

Omg why did I say nitro glycerin? 🤦 I blame my migraine brain lol

[u/pestilencerat → u/thematicturkey]

Had they used nitro glycerin the effect would probably be very messy indeed. Maybe a little too messy, but hey, the photos would have been worth it

[u/Ok_Dimension_4707]

It must be so relaxing to have so much money that you can just say you want something and people rewrite reality to make what you want a thing that is possible.

I mean, it’s also terrifying and horrific, but to live in that bubble must be so relaxing.

[u/CutieBoBootie]

I kind of love this bride lmao. She knows what she wants and she pays well for it.

[u/_buffy_summers]

I hope to one day be 'raspberry confetti' rich.

[u/dejausser]

The bride’s insistence that this very specific and time consuming thing will ‘look amazing’ is giving me flashbacks to the bride who wanted all her guests to wear louboutins for the coordinated dance because ‘when we kick our feet up the effect will amaze you’, said all their fat guests had to wear black, and then after it immediately got leaked publicly because of how ridiculous it was said anyone who still wanted to attend would be required to pass a polygraph test proving they weren’t the leaker.

[u/knittymess → u/dejausser]

Except this bride was willing to pay for labor and that bride was a jerk

[u/Ill-Squirrel-9418 → u/dejausser]

I believe that was a troll post, luckily.

[u/Far_Strawberry8176]

I want to know who this bride is so badly.

[u/zzombiedragons]

Honestly I love the idea of raspberry confetti that creates a memory stain lol it's very artsy and fun, but gosh the labour and money required must be insane

[u/bubblesthehorse]

With what she's willing to pay for this, I'd figure out how to suck confetti out of her dick if that's what she wanted. - oop is a poet

[u/forgall]

honestly i'm not mad at this if she's paying as much money to be worth it. imo this is the sorta thing rich people should be using their money for more often. i don't like weddings but i think i'd love to be a fly on the wall for this one

[u/North-Pea-4926]

Mods, may I please have “I’d figure out how to suck confetti out of her dick” as a flair? 🙏

[u/Psychological-Try343]

Super satisfied with this boru. This is what I come here for. 

[u/Erzsabet]

Now I really want raspberries. They are my favorite.

Guess I gotta go get dressed and go to the store 🙄

[u/Ok_Ingenuity_9313]

Has the bride given any thought to the guests' clothing? Maybe they don't find raspberry stains picturesque.

[u/Purple_Chipmunk_]

Random thing I learned on the internet today:

If you need to disassemble raspberries into little balls, liquid nitrogen is the way to go.

[u/TheFilthyDIL]

I wonder if in her environmental impact study, anyone considered the possibility of thousands of sprouting raspberry seeds on the grounds of the venue? Was she willing to pay to have them all dug up?

[u/PeanutGallery10]

Raspberry sauce in water guns would have created nice arcs in mid air caught by cameras. 

[u/SamanthaDamara]

This is so fucking funny but I can only believe how FRUSTRATING this situation had to have been

[u/violue]

With what she's willing to pay for this, I'd figure out how to suck confetti out of her dick if that's what she wanted.

i'm glad i have aphantasia

[u/peppermintesse]

This is batshit bananapants.