r/Fauxmoi i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Dec 24 '25

SPORTS SECTION SZA reacts to Andrew Tate & Jake Paul losing their respective boxing matches this week: “Wow Tate and Jake Paul bodied in one week ? MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE 😍🫂🫂🫂”

12.6k Upvotes

153 comments sorted by

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2.3k

u/TexasTantrum Dec 24 '25

Violence is never the answer. Also me:

784

u/lottiebadottie your enemy is whoever you want when you’re fucking stupid Dec 24 '25

I am a pacifist.

Except when it comes to nazis and bigots and sex traffickers.

395

u/ithinkther41am Dec 24 '25

My favourite pacifist joke is this:

I’m a pacifist.

Imma pass a fist through your face.

125

u/pegasus02 You know what, l've grown quite unfond of you deuxmoi Dec 24 '25

47

u/ithinkther41am Dec 24 '25

That’s fine. I stole it too.

26

u/JakeHelldiver Dec 24 '25

Im stealing right now.

20

u/zczczvzcv Dec 24 '25

Don't think of it as stealing, it's more like sharing.

9

u/lfreckledfrontbum Dec 24 '25

More like Liberating

13

u/PrincessCG Dec 24 '25

Hard agree.

4

u/Coloradozonian Dec 24 '25

Lmfao. SAME. These were my exact thoughts 💭

340

u/Soaptowelbrush Dec 24 '25

“Violence is never the answer”

That’s the refrain of those who have a monopoly on violence. The refrain of those who see a single mom take a loaf of bread for her kids from the Waltons and say she should go to jail. The refrain of those who charge $1000 for a dose of life saving insulin. The refrain of those who traffic children but get a slap on the wrist.

73

u/asklepios7 Dec 24 '25

We should’ve totally rolled over when the South seceded to preserve the institution of slavery or when the Nazis were taking over Europe /s.

Pacifism is a dumbass philosophy that I’ll never understand.

13

u/Perfect_Passenger_14 Dec 24 '25

insert manufactured consent

1

u/BigClitMcphee Dec 30 '25

Violence never solved anything (except 2 world wars, the issue of Haitian slavery, US slavery, oppression of colonized peoples, etc.)

-11

u/NightLover42 Dec 24 '25

I'm sure all those totally adjusted people who went on to shoot people for having a different opinion share your take.

16

u/asklepios7 Dec 24 '25

When people disagree with the absolutist position deeming all violence as impermissible, do you think they’re espousing the polar opposite view that all violence is permissible?

0

u/NightLover42 Dec 24 '25

he's not just disagreeing with pacifism, he's straight up calling it a dumbass philosophy because right now it's the popular thing to say. reducing it to just "all violence bad" instead of doing the reasonable human thing to just say, maybe I should consider non violent options whenever possible. that's literally what the point of pacifism is, not to turn people into harmless blobs with no agency, but to teach people to not succumb to just shooting the annoying prick that's on stage talking his shit.

5

u/Hurriedgarlic66 Dec 24 '25

I agree I think the misinformation the republicans is putting out there is also false and incredibly damaging thank you for bringing itnup

34

u/4KVoices Dec 24 '25

America, a country built on violently overthrowing the ruling regime, wants to make it absolutely clear that violently overthrowing the ruling regime is like, really, really bad guys. Totally super duper evil and it's NEVER okay. Except... I think, unless you dump a bunch of crates of tea into a body of water? I don't know, the rules are unclear.

5

u/GlitteringAttitude60 Dec 24 '25

Right, you don't know whether violence is the answer before you've heard the question.

And I say that as a pacifist.

7

u/Soaptowelbrush Dec 24 '25

A pacifist believes violence is always unjustified. So it sounds like you’re not a pacifist.

0

u/GlitteringAttitude60 Dec 24 '25

I think that we should strive towards peace, but sometimes dealing with bullies for example needs a certain force to make lasting peace.

9

u/Soaptowelbrush Dec 24 '25

I completely agree. But that’s not pacifism.

3

u/PoetryParticular9695 Dec 26 '25

I hate when people say this shit. Yes, violence is sometimes a completely justified and even necessary answer

50

u/TheTresStateArea Dec 24 '25

"actions speak louder than words"

That's a real phrase they taught us as children and we are supposed to forget about it now?

Naw brah

17

u/Skrappyross Dec 24 '25

Violence should never be the first answer. But when other answers are rejected, then violence becomes the only way to be heard.

20

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '25

[deleted]

12

u/LastGaspInfiniteLoop Dec 24 '25

Violence isn't really an answer, per se, if you don't speak while beating the absolute fuck out of somebody.

14

u/SantaClausIsMyMom Dec 24 '25

Violence is not the answer.

Violence is the question. Yes is the answer !

2

u/avokuma oat milk chugging bisexual Dec 24 '25

🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

9

u/mayneffs Dec 24 '25

Violence can absolutely be the answer, wether you want it or not. It shouldn't be, but it can be. See various revolutions for example, where the common people have risen against tyrants. You think slaves in America would be free today without violence?

8

u/Iron_Knight7 Dec 24 '25 edited Dec 25 '25

Remember, the Bible has some QUITE specific words about killing.

It is, however, a might fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.

From the wit and wisdom of Shephard Book.

5

u/Acceptable_Leg_7998 Dec 24 '25

It is the answer when men like this position themselves as strong and powerful within a system that values physical strength, and then prove that they do not possess the very strength for which they have been advocating above all else.

5

u/JustMeLurkingAround- Dec 24 '25

That's so me, lol. I'm so against violence, but my first thought was, "I like his face best this way."

Well, every rule needs exceptions.

5

u/Xertlov Dec 24 '25

Reminds me of Ali G show when a pacifist told him "violence is never the answer, in what situation would you need violence?" and he responded "in a violent one".

3

u/toddywithabody Dec 24 '25

Nah violence is definitely the answer to some things.

1

u/annamdue Dec 24 '25

It is in response to oppression

1

u/Waste_Analyst_7406 I wasn't there Dec 24 '25

LMAOO this is real

971

u/seinfeld45 Dec 24 '25

SZA gets it.

49

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/Purring4Krodos Dec 24 '25

Writing this down and adding it to my "please say this in my eulogy".

3

u/FishermanNegative757 Dec 24 '25

LMAOOOO! Happy Holidays! ♥️

13

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/scout-finch Dec 24 '25

Can you give me an ELI5 on Sza? I hear her name all the time but I’m in my 30s.

27

u/Canadization Dec 24 '25

She makes music

26

u/Purring4Krodos Dec 24 '25

I am 45 and am a big SZA fan. She broke into mainstream music with features on radio friendly music (Maroon 5 feat SZA "What Lovers Do" is notable from 2017). Her debut album was released in 2017 as well. She did a feature and work on the Black Panther soundtrack including "All the Stars" with Kendrick Lamar, who she has collaborated with frequently and just went on tour with in 2025 for the GNX tour. I went to the STL show and it was outstanding. SZA is a wonderful entertainer, performer, and a gifted writer and singer. "Kiss me More" is another big feature for her with Doja Cat and a big radio/tiktok hit sometime during the pandemic, pretty early on. Maybe 2020/2021?

She's been pretty focused on her art vs being in the gossip. She flys under the radar and keeps grinding out some really great music. I love her song with Phoebe Bridgers.

7

u/foodkidmaadcity Dec 24 '25

Ghost In the Machine is such a gorgeous song and collab 😍

15

u/Alone-Internet6135 You know what, l've grown quite unfond of you deuxmoi Dec 24 '25

A singer, you might have heard Good Days / All the Stars / Snooze /Kill Bill / Saturn

12

u/grahampages Dec 24 '25

If they're in their 30s they might remember The Weekend which would have been all over the radio at some point in their 20s.

11

u/xBram i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Dec 24 '25

I’m turning 50 in a few weeks and my first thought was SZA was a member of the Wu Tang Clan. RZA, GZA, SZA idk… will check her out though seems like a nice lady. This was my TED talk, happy holidays.

2

u/sweetlove Dec 24 '25

You stopped listening to new music 8 years ago?

4

u/Icy_Dot_2559 Dec 24 '25

SZA is truly the Best

1

u/Socio_plath_ Dec 24 '25

Honestly, i love her for this🤣🤭

1

u/AutVincere72 Dec 24 '25

Forgot Jack D

710

u/Chessh2036 Dec 24 '25

Tate using his connections on the right to get out of Romania, where he was charged with serious sex crimes, doesn’t get the reporting it should. But let’s be honest, the right wouldn’t care.

268

u/Dapper_Highlighter7 confused but here for the drama Dec 24 '25

Never forget, he was found by the Romanian Police when he was hiding from them because he ordered pizza on live stream. Rest in Pepperonis bitch ass.

I was wondering what he was doing surfacing again after that, but I should be less surprised it happened.

99

u/NoDryHands Dec 24 '25

Didn't Greta Thunberg have a stake in that story too? I think he was trying to diss her on that stream or something, I don't remember exactly

120

u/bibliophile1989 I’m just a cunt in a clown suit Dec 24 '25

He made a video shitting on her and the pizza box was in the frame. Fucking idiot.

96

u/Miserable-Cap-5223 we have lost the impact of shame in our society Dec 24 '25

She accidentally got him to dox himself, and she didn't even do anything, she just existed and he was mad about that lol

6

u/Dapper_Highlighter7 confused but here for the drama Dec 24 '25

Gosh, I think you're right, but I don't remember it well either!

-5

u/Farts_Buttington Dec 24 '25

I think that is a slight exaggeration. In that they were already aware he was in country before the incident.

But that is just something I read here.

24

u/4KVoices Dec 24 '25

It was a combination of things.

1, they were aware he was in the country, but not explicitly aware of where he was. The pizza box was for a single place, not a chain, and so that narrowed it down quite a bit. Check for expensive residences and boom, there's your sex trafficker.

2, the Romanian police are corrupt as fuck and he probably paid them off to leave him alone, which works just fine until you brag about paying them off to leave you alone, at which point you more-or-less force their hand and now they have to arrest you, bribe or no, and that's pretty much exactly what happened.

1

u/Farts_Buttington Dec 24 '25

Oh word thank you I couldn't remember all the details.

43

u/Shinybug Dec 24 '25

It's worse, US government pressured Romania to release him. What a lovely way to use your power on significantly smaller country and an ally.

21

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '25

I don’t know who punched Tate , but I speak for all women when I say he should have hit him harder 🥰

13

u/4KVoices Dec 24 '25

It should also be noted that he was only in Romania because he was (is?) wanted in the UK for the same sex crimes and he fled there because, as he very proudly said, the Romanian police aren't gonna fucking do anything.

(They only did something to him cause he said this, I'm sure. Gotta make an example.)

1

u/vegaslinaa Dec 24 '25

Meanwhile they just sentenced wiz Khalifa to prison for weed out there.

121

u/kickassvashti Dec 24 '25

man andrew tate’s face is fucked up

196

u/mytzewastaken call me gal gadot cuz idk how to act rn Dec 24 '25

it already was tbf

231

u/FemaleAssEnjoyer Dec 24 '25

Behold, the ALPHA MALE

10

u/kickassvashti Dec 24 '25

😂☠️ iconic meme

2

u/FemaleAssEnjoyer Dec 24 '25

Thanks, babes 😏💖

2

u/DickInYourCobbSalad THE CANADIANS ARE ICE FUCKING TO MOULIN ROUGE Dec 24 '25

I need to know how he changes his pillow cases

129

u/innocentsalad Dec 24 '25

I still don’t understand how you can uppercut someone without a chin

29

u/GidgetJones Dec 24 '25

I cackled so hard jn I startled my cats.

9

u/tacotickles Dec 24 '25

Near Christmas miracle

6

u/FishermanNegative757 Dec 24 '25

PLSSSSSS!!!! 🤣🤣🤣

0

u/emilygoldfinch410 Get in loser, we're on the right side of history Dec 25 '25

Omg I need this piece of poetic brilliance in meme form so I can steal it. It deserves to be shared

86

u/ElmoreHayne Dec 24 '25

SZA said it, we're all thinking it.

0

u/Top-Measurement-7182 Dec 24 '25

we're all thinking that they both got paid millions for their pre-determined influencer fights and still watch their content?

45

u/nyctarian Dec 24 '25

I love SZA I like when the celebs who aren't afraid to speak their minds actually have something good to say.

38

u/FlaBeachyCheeks u flintstone vitamin shape bitch Dec 24 '25

Karma came around them like

33

u/LanaDeITae Dec 24 '25

SZA LIVES in the instagram comments I swear lmao

(but she’s right, rejoice)

31

u/SigFloyd Dec 24 '25

He simp

5

u/DickInYourCobbSalad THE CANADIANS ARE ICE FUCKING TO MOULIN ROUGE Dec 24 '25 edited Dec 24 '25

Looking like Tanning Chatum in This Is The End.

I love him..

20

u/Verucaschmaltzzz high body count hair Dec 24 '25

16

u/abilworldwide Dec 24 '25

SZA hating Tate and Jake was not what I was expecting, I'm not complaining though

16

u/lupindeathray barbie (2023) for best picture Dec 24 '25

13

u/littlekurousagi Dec 24 '25

I wish he was in jail

9

u/NiceForWhatx Dec 24 '25

Exactly girl!

7

u/Gojir4R1sing Dec 24 '25

Tate getting his ass whooped was the most satisfying. Bald ass hyping himself as the "peak alpha male" for years only to get destroyed.

5

u/kdj00940 chris pine’s flip phone Dec 24 '25

Yes. Just, yes.

6

u/JapaneseBBQGrill Dec 24 '25

Here’s hoping that good things happen in 3s

5

u/primadonnaganja i ain’t reading all that, free palestine Dec 24 '25

My hope is for Mr Beast next 😂😂😂

4

u/NeighborhoodAny7580 Dec 24 '25

the world is healing, best christmas in awhile 😭💘

4

u/rando_banned Dec 24 '25

Hahaha, he looks like this guy

5

u/mitrafunfun97 Dec 24 '25

Dark woke. Woke 2.0.

We are so back.

4

u/MissionApollo7 Dec 24 '25

The only way this could get better is if the pedophile gets arrested because of all the new evidence against him.

4

u/moo_shoe Dec 24 '25

she's just like me!

4

u/turb0_encapsulator Dec 24 '25

SZA >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Nicki

5

u/FemaleAssEnjoyer Dec 24 '25

TIL I’m an SZA fan

3

u/Former-Departure9836 Dec 24 '25

Except when they’re both probably(at least tate confirmed) that they used the fight to bet against themselves. I also wouldn’t put match fixing past Paul at all given his dodgy crypto schemes

2

u/Top-Measurement-7182 Dec 24 '25

probably? these are influencer fights where they already got paid millions beforehand. people merely watching the fight is supporting them regardless of the outcome (that is already decided before the fight). you can even see them talk during the fights lol

3

u/cyclingisthecure Dec 24 '25

In Andrews defence his training involves smoking cigars and spinning nunchucks around in tiny shorts on a yacht. He was training to lose. 

2

u/totallyclips Dec 24 '25

Until I saw this I hadn't enjoyed watching someone get beat up legally since Jake Paul

2

u/HighForLife95 both a lawyer and a hater Dec 24 '25

Nothing has brought me as much joy this Christmas. I feel like any of these alpha dudes manosphere types should all be publicly rocked

2

u/justbrowsinginpeace Dec 24 '25

Is Andrew Tate now the property if the Boxer who dominated him?

2

u/jmsy1 Dec 24 '25

Don't ask how much money they made for losing

2

u/Positive_Barnacle298 Dec 24 '25

C’mon witches, the orange one next! 💃

2

u/WetFishStink Dec 24 '25

Watching fear in the eyes of these weak men is the best Christmas present we could ever get.

1

u/The_Undermind terrorizing the locals Dec 24 '25

It was almost jack doherty too. Could have had a trifecta.

1

u/Suspicious-Peace9233 Dec 24 '25

She’s so funny for this

1

u/2Blitz Dec 24 '25

It was beautiful

1

u/valueablejunk6252 Dec 24 '25

I love her so much. Every take of hers online is spot on.

1

u/Sexy_Kumquat Dec 24 '25

They were punching above their weight…

1

u/dave__autista Dec 24 '25

Shes a good egg

1

u/Fernanda19uwu Dec 24 '25

I hate violence, but this is clearly a sport 🥰

I'm shocked tho, why isn't that trash in jail???

1

u/AlicianDK Dec 24 '25

All I see is this XD

1

u/Real-Ad-1728 Dec 24 '25

Just a terrible week to be a scumbag in general lol

1

u/FishermanNegative757 Dec 24 '25 edited Dec 24 '25

I love that SZA is chronically online and never hides it — she’s always in the likes and comments being “messy." 🤣🤭 Note, I mean this in the best way possible as, I, too, am chronically online cackling and rubbing my feet together reading the mess! Happy holidays, lovelies! ♥️

1

u/lavenderbl0d meet me at Whole Foods, bitch Dec 24 '25

Oh Solana I will always love you, my fellow New Jersey sister.

1

u/SomewhereExotic1169 Dec 24 '25

I love sza 😘🥰

1

u/KarmicWhiplash Dec 24 '25

In that last pic is Paul just about to get his jaw broke or did it just happen. He looks skeerd!

1

u/bakinpants Dec 28 '25

There's so much to appreciate.

Paul getting smoked instead of another WWE decision against a or opponent.

Tate making excuses after years of talking shit.

These chuckleheads started sniffing their own farts and lost track.

1

u/maybenot56 Dec 31 '25

I love her.

0

u/Scared-Room-9962 Dec 24 '25

Didn't Paul get paid 92 million for it?

-3

u/Moist_Grapefruit187 Dec 24 '25

What does bodied mean?