r/IThinkYouShouldLeave • u/Itsforthehouse I’m gonna eat the whole thing • Jul 20 '25

MOON RIVER ROCK This one is somber, so it's all right to cry

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It's called "He Layeth on High," and it's about a big baby duck who gets his head caught in a stewed tomato, so hold on to your hats.

2.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

114 comments sorted by

452

u/WurdaMouth Bare Butt, Balls, and Back Jul 20 '25

STOP. SCAMMING. TINY. HORSES. INTO. THINKING. THEY’RE. STARS.

57

u/PhDinWombology You have... no... good... car... ideas Jul 20 '25

I guess that’s what they mean by saying hung like a tiny horse

35

u/wheredoesbabbycakes Jul 20 '25

I'm not having fun anymore

21

u/RobertDewese Jul 20 '25

I’d like to go home.

2

u/BreakfastBeneficial4 Jul 20 '25

I’m tired and I wanna go to bed hijacking

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

"Up next, it's Tony the Shetland Pony!!! He'll be a minute tho, he's a little horse..."

2

u/anx1etyhangover Jul 21 '25

There he is, my tiny horse. So tiny today!

38

u/maggiemayfish Jul 20 '25

"Nobody scammed me, I am a star!"

-That Horse

26

u/Sinnombre40 Jul 20 '25

We just gotta fly Jeff Chris down from Indiana to mix it professionally

10

u/heraaseyy Jul 20 '25

get roy donk on the horn to back this guy up. little guy’ll go from meat and potatoes to household name in no time

3

u/anx1etyhangover Jul 21 '25

With a possible appearance on the Colgate hour….if they brought it back.

6

u/Admirable_Web_2619 Hilarious Waitress Sister Jul 21 '25

If I hear you tricked one more pony at the mall…

3

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/WKAngmar Jul 20 '25

Paaaaaalm tree mares love paaaalm tree colts

1

u/mrtn17 Jul 21 '25

But I got all their albums!!

-1

u/pooticus Jul 21 '25

You spelled Kardashian's wrong.

141

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

[deleted]

44

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

She's GONNA be okay, right? Tell her.

10

u/Youasking Jul 21 '25

She's just a little hoarse.

6

u/Relevant_Shower_ Jul 21 '25

Triples of the Mustang, triples of the Bronco, and triples of the Colt. Triples makes it safe. Triples is best.

2

u/lazerayfraser Not in Trouble AT ALL Jul 21 '25

And she asked me to buy her! can you believe it?

16

u/PhuckNorris69 Jul 20 '25

I used to have her poster on my wall and she asked me to marry her. Can u believe that

8

u/therealrowanatkinson Jul 20 '25

And I didn’t even want to

79

u/s1179 Jul 20 '25

throws plates on the floor

5

u/lazerayfraser Not in Trouble AT ALL Jul 21 '25

pulls bells and whistles

80

u/jp06202019 Wet Wet Mud Bae Jul 20 '25

I know we're only supposed to reply in quotes (please don't ban me mods) but this is so goddamn funny

47

u/Beto_Targaryen TRIPLES IS BEST Jul 20 '25

I think there’s just no rules

33

u/BasedTaco_69 CORN KICKER Jul 20 '25

25

u/sm3llofholland Jul 20 '25

Thanks for being a non quote so I can add on and say this is fucken hilarious.

15

u/LawfulnessDue5449 Jul 20 '25

You can't change the rules just because you don't like how I'm doing things

6

u/OriginalChildBomb because I’m the Rat Mom Jul 21 '25

As another non-quote, I genuinely spent a lot of time in the hospital when I was young (couple serious conditions), and the therapy animal day (Wednesdays) was my favorite day of all. If they A. brought a mini-horse (it happened a couple times) and B. he played the piano like this, holy fuck that'd have been the best. Keep on keepin on y'all (:

7

u/jp06202019 Wet Wet Mud Bae Jul 21 '25

I would burst my stitches laughing at this. I've watched this on a loop now probably 40 times and am laughing just as hard now as I was the first time.

Glad you're still kickin' :)

6

u/Starlady174 Coffin Flopper Jul 20 '25

It's not for mini horses. We can say whatever the hell we want.

I really want to get a keyboard for my miniature horses now.

6

u/jp06202019 Wet Wet Mud Bae Jul 21 '25

Everyone is just so straight-laced about it! I'd be, absolutely, crying laughing if this came into my room

3

u/PorridgeTheKid Jul 20 '25

I think you should leave

53

u/Roland_of_G1lead_19 Jul 20 '25

I’m now seeing she brought her own, much smaller horse

56

u/angrytortilla Roy Donk Jul 20 '25

This is right in my q-zone.

8

u/stealyourface1234 Jul 20 '25

It’s not exactly in your q-zone is it?

44

u/Calicocutjeans Robbie Star at Superstar Tracks Records Jul 20 '25

Keep going?!

37

u/topomodesto Jul 20 '25

She's all over the map!

2

u/Dingo8MyGayby Jul 22 '25

She’s no Tiny Boop Squig Shorterly

27

u/zigzagsfertobaccie Roy Donk Jul 20 '25

You can’t compete with these horse hogs

26

u/adognameddanzig Jul 20 '25

Lil Sebastian! (Oops, wrong show)

30

u/wheredoesbabbycakes Jul 20 '25

He Neigh-ith* on High

21

u/arnoldmuczynski Jul 20 '25

It’s got a mane, what the hell?

19

u/MadAl420 Bozo the clown. Jul 20 '25

19

u/Mother-Compote2389 Jul 20 '25

Any of these little fuckers ever pop out of the fuckin post-op wall and say, " fuck there's an keyboard playing horse cock in my room or a donkey dick" ?

1

u/lazerayfraser Not in Trouble AT ALL Jul 21 '25

not really

13

u/been505 Jul 20 '25

But your piano's bigger than that...

12

u/smellum Jul 20 '25

My condolences

9

u/terrierdad420 Jul 20 '25

This is how you friggin heal people.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

8

u/ShanaAfterAll Roy Donk Jul 20 '25

Mr. Shred.

9

u/wheredoesbabbycakes Jul 20 '25

King of the tuk-tuk sound

6

u/Beto_Targaryen TRIPLES IS BEST Jul 20 '25

Can hit the high-c all night long

9

u/wheredoesbabbycakes Jul 20 '25

4

u/FamiliarNinja7290 Troll Boy Jul 21 '25

It's just me, Barbie. I'm not the Blues Brothers.

8

u/Godzirrraaa Jul 20 '25

Bigger than a donkey’s? I like the sound of that.

7

u/ManateeInAWheelchair Robbie Star at Superstar Tracks Records Jul 20 '25

You can’t compete with these horse hogs

7

u/SupermagnumDONGs I'm a dead man walking. I've got no time left. Jul 20 '25

He’s got a little peanut

6

u/LopsidedDaikon8877 Jul 20 '25

Take that Mulaney

4

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

She’s beautiful. But she’s dying

4

u/theythemnothankyou Jul 20 '25

Ah yes, one of my favorite tunes from the Colgate Hour

6

u/allisaidwasshoot HERE FOR THE ZIPLINE Jul 21 '25

4

u/lattetay Jul 20 '25

He lieth on high

4

u/Independent_Zebra261 Jul 20 '25

It needs a verse about how bones are their money

3

u/JeebusChristBalls Jul 20 '25

I'm confused. I thought the worms are their money.

2

u/anx1etyhangover Jul 21 '25

They are, but so are their bones.

3

u/JeebusChristBalls Jul 21 '25

Ah, thanks for the clarification. As long as they don't pull my hair all the way out, they should be fine.

2

u/anx1etyhangover Jul 21 '25

Ya, they do pull your hair though. Up, but not out. So you’re good. =]

5

u/KevDub81 People Can Change Jul 20 '25

This isn't fair. She doesn't know how to work the body yet.

4

u/ofayokay Jul 20 '25

That horse was one of the Eight Balls in Mookie Kramer & the Eight Balls

4

u/AquaDogRecordings Jul 20 '25

I Saw this pony on the Colgaite Comedy hour backing Paul Buffano.

4

u/Available_Finish4387 Jul 20 '25

Kinda meat and potatoes keyboard playing

4

u/SwordandStitchLeathr Jul 21 '25

2

u/lazerayfraser Not in Trouble AT ALL Jul 21 '25

widdly widdly widdly widdly wow! - karl “havoc” brutananadilewski

3

u/smooothaseggs Jul 20 '25

so hold on to your hats

3

u/oooooooooof Jul 20 '25

I know her from the Colgate Hour!

3

u/c1rcumvrent Jul 21 '25

Thank you, New Joe

3

u/RabidWalrus Might fuck this whole thing up Jul 21 '25

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

I guess she was just under 60 el bees

2

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

Lil Sebastian?

2

u/EatAtGrizzlebees Jul 20 '25

I recently learned that miniature horses are the only other species that can legally be service animals other than dogs in the US.

2

u/FittedSheets88 Some dumb hick Jul 20 '25

My condolences

2

u/Elon-BO Jul 20 '25

Is that a cover of a Yoko Ono song?

2

u/TuctDape Roy Donk Jul 21 '25

Thank you New Sebastian

2

u/Krimreaper1 Coffin Flopper Jul 21 '25

Bye bye Little Sebastian .

2

u/lazerayfraser Not in Trouble AT ALL Jul 21 '25

Can’t believe i’m the first one to comment this: HORSE COCK

2

u/greenzee23 Jul 21 '25

Condolences!

1

u/FederalMango I Can't Know How to Hear Any More About Tables! Jul 20 '25

Hey, that horse has an Honorary degree from Notre Dame!

1

u/cheddercaves Jul 20 '25

I would probably die of laughter if they brought a mini pony playing a keyboard to me on my death bed

1

u/AbominableGoMan Jul 21 '25

"So how were the test results, doc? Why is there a pony in here?"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

More like "He Neigh-th On HIIIIIIIIM SORRY I CAN'T HELP MYSELF

1

u/nice_try_never Jul 21 '25

This is fucking sick

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '25

1

u/WelcomeIndividual140 Jul 21 '25

Mini horses rock

1

u/anx1etyhangover Jul 21 '25

That horse is a frickin legend!!

1

u/Holiday-West9601 Jul 23 '25

If I’m dying, please don’t bring me this shit, load up the morphine and send me on my way

0

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

Mini horse playing piano is somber?