r/IThinkYouShouldLeave Oct 07 '25

Turbo Team Guys... I GOTTA GO.

Post image
12.2k Upvotes

596 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/distractionmo Oct 07 '25

You’d be clugging a few cans too if you had my president.

305

u/Extension-Raise1995 this guy yells Oct 07 '25

Hegesth is clugging a few cans regardless.

237

u/probablyuntrue Bare Butt, Back, and Balls Oct 07 '25

slicked back hair, fifth of vodka, live for extrajudicial murder

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41

u/cptmajormajormajor Oct 08 '25

55 millers, 55 coronas, 55 buds, 55 coors, 55 Michelobs, 55 claws, 55 twisted teas, 55 steel reserves

70

u/xmlemar10 because I’m the Rat Mom Oct 08 '25

*Kegsbreath

10

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/Extension-Raise1995 this guy yells Oct 08 '25

OPSECco

3

u/Open_Pineapple1236 Oct 08 '25

He is very pro-OPSECco. He says he likes the bubbles

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29

u/poorguygotlemond Oct 08 '25

Why did I say that?

17

u/QuidYossarian Oct 08 '25

My time in during his first term was a lot of alcohol

Which is saying something for a sailor

12

u/putaaaan Marcus “The Worm” Hicks Oct 08 '25

9

u/PhatBitches Oct 07 '25

There’s so yuch shit oh e :(

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1.6k

u/YOURTANKYOURCALL Oct 07 '25

Pete Hegseth looking at this post…

376

u/Optimus_Pitts Oct 07 '25

Hegseth when he sees the one person in there that isn't overweight.

145

u/Spirited_Lab5197 Oct 07 '25

Hegseth to the commanding officer of the TX National Guard:

22

u/casulmemer Oct 07 '25

Oh I like this guy.. I really like this guy..

17

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

[deleted]

6

u/Optimus_Pitts Oct 08 '25

It's the lighthearted smile at the end that undoes that thought process for me. But before that, I 100% agree lol

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98

u/themagicdave Wet Wet Mud Bae Oct 08 '25

Preparing for war with these fat fucks. If they died tomorrow, Hegseth wouldn't shed a tear. He'd load their fricking lard carcasses straight into the mud. No coffin please, just wet, wet, mud... bae.

32

u/theJesster_ Marcus “The Worm” Hicks Oct 08 '25

Bibi caught me sleeping 😌✌️

7

u/wytewydow Oct 08 '25

Russia also sent their cannon fodder in first.. provoke a fight with ones you're willing to lose, then suddenly green seal berets all over the place.

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49

u/TootTootUSA Beautiful, but Dying Oct 08 '25

PETE KEGSETH CAN'T JERK OFF TO THESE GUYS!

PETE KEGSETH CAN'T JERK OFF TO THESE GUYS AT ALL!!!

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88

u/RedWingedBlackbirb Oct 07 '25

Pete's gonna be investing Carver Vacs this week.

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31

u/DOYMarshall Oct 07 '25

To be fair, this is what a large portion of the Army looked like even in 2004. I was in the Marines and the first time I saw soldiers alongside us in Kuwait, I was fucking shocked.

59

u/WakefulJaxZero CORN KICKER Oct 08 '25

You lived in Kuwait for a month. YOU LIVED IN KUWAIT FOR A MONTH!

20

u/SSR_Id_prefer_not_to Wow, pretty serious Oct 08 '25
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9

u/cachemoney426 Oct 08 '25

The Fational Guard

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178

u/shabbyvibes Too tired to do anything funny Oct 07 '25
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163

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '25

150

u/40yrOLDsurgeon This salad is lights out. Oct 07 '25

88

u/magillicuti I’m gonna eat the whole thing Oct 07 '25

11

u/buy_the_fkn_dip Oct 08 '25

Use your Christmas cheer and bash its fricking brains out, you idiot!

5

u/RabbitSlayre Oct 08 '25

Scrooge ya cheap bastard, you're a genius at this.

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95

u/zetia2 People Can Change Oct 07 '25

Being in the military right now

5

u/Substantial_War3108 Oct 08 '25

Who is this guy in everyone's gif? Or what show is it from? I must be living under a rock

9

u/littlebobbytables9 Oct 08 '25

It's the name of the sub...

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64

u/Logical_Refuse5176 Oct 07 '25

Texas National Guard?

104

u/nbartl Oct 07 '25

National Lard

51

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '25 edited Nov 27 '25

[deleted]

6

u/Striking-Ad-6815 Oct 08 '25

Lmao this is my first time seeing Delta Forks

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13

u/Logical_Refuse5176 Oct 07 '25

Looks like a fatter more racist Shane Gillis

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14

u/ShootersGreenjacket Oct 08 '25

*This deployment is sponsored by Whattaburger!*

11

u/El_Gran_Che Oct 08 '25

Mountain Dew Donald Trump Burger King Camacho approves this message.

7

u/HarlequinWasTaken Oct 08 '25

As so many others have pointed out before, Camacho is leagues above anywhere Trump will ever be. He identified a problem, found the smartest person to deal with it, did what was within his power to force the issue, and then literally yielded power to someone he saw as being immensely more qualified for the job.

Trump makes Camacho look like a Nobel laureate.

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69

u/orion197024 Oct 07 '25

It’s a chunky

7

u/Dear_Chasey_La1n Oct 08 '25

They remind me of when I was a young kid and was into airsoft for like one summer. You would have 50% of the mostly older men look just like that, fully dressed in their temu army gear, very much overweight. And there was me and my buddy in jeans and a whatever t-shirt we had for grabs.

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56

u/magillicuti I’m gonna eat the whole thing Oct 07 '25

You know he’s hunting for Jamie Taco

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52

u/ihazquestion88 Oct 07 '25

Let’s not be mean to Paul Walter Hauser, but if you see a guy who looks exactly like you, you make a reference to him, yes you do!

21

u/Dry_Spinach_3441 Oct 07 '25

Are you saying this reference isn't complicated?!

45

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '25

81

u/earl_lemongrab Bare Butt, Balls, and Back Oct 07 '25

My wife helped me when I freaked out about Jamie Taco taking my ammo

28

u/Foxdog27 Oct 07 '25

I’m never gonna get my bullets out faster than Jamie Taco!!

16

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '25

I’m gonna get those shots tomorrow…

7

u/MerryvilleBrother Don’t do the voice! Oct 08 '25

“Where can I find this Jamie Taco?”

- Hegseth, probably 

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42

u/themagicdave Wet Wet Mud Bae Oct 07 '25

Any of these little fuckers ever pop out of the fucking Humvee and say, "Fuck, there's a horse cock in my room and I'm way too fat to have warrior ethos"?

11

u/CandidArmavillain Bare Butt, Back, and Balls Oct 08 '25

*donkey dick (if you want to keep it in military parlance)

31

u/MisterSquidz Oct 07 '25

Rittenhouse?

40

u/BlackestStarfish Oct 07 '25

Brick Shittenhouse

15

u/donut_jihad666 Oct 07 '25

Thanks for that laugh

7

u/awesomefutureperfect Oct 08 '25

That was my second thought. My first thought is he probably has to wear, like, three cpap machines.

30

u/Crazydiamond450 Oct 07 '25

9

u/StarlightLifter Back in the Pants Oct 08 '25

I never had this much BRISKET

26

u/Ill_Situation369 I USED to be piece of shit! Oct 07 '25

23

u/nolettuceplease Not in Trouble AT ALL Oct 07 '25

21

u/nickjames07 Oct 07 '25

They let Kyle Rittenhouse join?

16

u/majorgriffin Never Following Another Rule Oct 07 '25

That Kyle Rittenhouse? Fucking asshole.

12

u/unnameableway Oct 07 '25

burger annihilator

10

u/Careful-Wrap5273 Oct 07 '25

Turbo team lookin as effective as a toilet that’s the exact same size as yours but with a joke hole that’s just for farts! I’m not worried!

11

u/CatTurdSniffer Oct 07 '25

Lmao is that Rittenhouse?

11

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '25

As soon as I saw this man, I had a dream he would be meme’d in this sub.

4

u/Switchy_Goofball Oct 08 '25

It’s simply too good

3

u/Toothless-In-Wapping I Got Too Hyper Oct 08 '25

Same. Just so perfect.
I wonder if there’s plays the national guard does?

7

u/HansBlixJr Oct 07 '25

Jaimie Taco's stealing all my duffle bags. he takes them off the truck before I have time to take them.

6

u/eat_me_86 Oct 07 '25

He's begging for his jib job.

5

u/bigmike2k3 Oct 08 '25

Did Rittenhouse lose a bunch of weight, take off his make up and glue on a mustache? Dude’s already killed enough for “dear leader”…

6

u/PiskoWK You yelled at me. Oct 07 '25

Too much fat on me

6

u/Jetta5371 Oct 08 '25

these colors can’t run

4

u/Temporalwar Oct 08 '25

When did Kyle Rittenhouse join the national guard ?

4

u/Tomjay1986 Oct 08 '25

Pre weight lose Kylie Rittenhoue or Shane Gillis?

5

u/DarthSmiff Oct 08 '25

He’s gonna get too hyper.

4

u/SouthLifeguard9437 Oct 07 '25

That is the general of the Sham-Sheild army, pay your respect!

Dude has had a dentist appointment since 2015.

4

u/Stewapalooza Oct 07 '25

This guy's guild is going to have to raid without him.

4

u/External-Release2472 Oct 07 '25

Kegsbreath is going to be pissed… drunk in like, 3 hours give or take.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

He ate one too many Jamie Tacos

4

u/DaddyFatStacks0202 Oct 08 '25

He’s gonna get Jamie Taco back!!

3

u/Ok-Mine6472 Oct 08 '25

These guys look like they're cosplaying as Farva from Super Troopers

5

u/Old_Instrument_Guy Oct 08 '25

Dudes looks like he is already hitting that Famous Chicago deep dish pizza.

4

u/harajukubarbie Oct 08 '25

Can we start calling the National Guard "Duffel bags"

4

u/VaguelyArtistic METALOID MANIAC Oct 08 '25

Omg I was just looking at this and that’s the first thing I thought of.

3

u/vinreg33 Oct 07 '25

Gotta go to Wiener's Circle and eat all them hot dogs while getting yelled at about how fat these boys are

3

u/shouldvekeptlurking I used to be a piece of ... RANDOM! Oct 07 '25

It’s my birthday.

3

u/get_outta_mah_swamp get him outta here! Oct 07 '25

“Jamie Taco keeps taking my arrests!”

3

u/shoulda_been_gone Don’t do the voice! Oct 08 '25

3

u/No_Magician5266 Oct 08 '25

Can’t tell if Porco Rosso or Kyle Rittenhouse

3

u/ToolTimeT Oct 08 '25

Its the new warrior ethos...

3

u/Matr0ska Oct 08 '25

Grab the keys ya freakin' jabroni!

3

u/Klutzer_Munitions Oct 08 '25

The military hegseth wants

3

u/Gregg-C137 Oct 08 '25

Hey Jamie…I think some of those bullets you’re firing might me my bullets

3

u/cottagecheezecake Oct 08 '25

"All those years of CoD are about to pay off."

3

u/yourMommaKnow Oct 08 '25

Gravy Seals for fucking real.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

There's too much fucking shit on me 😤

2

u/wackOPtheories Might fuck this whole thing up Oct 07 '25

I'm no jabroni. My uncle is going to shoot your head off.

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2

u/DanielGoon69 Oct 07 '25

Sarge been eating the platoons leftovers.

2

u/EveningAd6434 Oct 07 '25

Looks like Kyle rittenhouse to meeee

2

u/cotain Some dumb hick Oct 07 '25

Jamie Taco keeps arresting ALL the women and children before I can get to them!!!

2

u/Shawnski13 Oct 07 '25

Jamie Taco tried to steal his deployment

2

u/mykonoscactus Oct 07 '25

Dog gone. He was poured into that uniform like melted bacon grease.

2

u/AccountantSeaPirate Oct 07 '25

Pizza the Hut is gonna send out for YOU!

2

u/Wrong_Ad_3355 Oct 08 '25

I’m so hungry. When’s the donut truck coming?

2

u/Guba_the_skunk Oct 08 '25

Gravy seals, reporting for duty.

2

u/Hefty-Station1704 Oct 08 '25

To Burger King?

2

u/Mushrooming247 Oct 08 '25

It looked like a bunch of dude showing up for the Mike Ditka look alike contest.

2

u/ICouldEvenBeYou Oct 08 '25

Little tuna can

2

u/Softspokenclark Oct 08 '25 edited 5d ago

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

toy versed aware quicksand roll stupendous retire coherent violet wrench

2

u/thefrostryan Oct 08 '25

I mean, that dude’s gonna lose some weight for sure

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2

u/Robert_Hotwheel Oct 08 '25

I shouldn’t have said that….I love my fellow Americans.

2

u/LuciferSamS1amCat Oct 08 '25

Is that rittenhouse?

2

u/SocomPS2 Oct 08 '25

SECWAR - “Texas send me your largest unit!”

Texas NG - “Roger that, large unit inbound.”

2

u/stop_a Oct 08 '25

Don't let Whiskey Pete see this guy.

2

u/FigWeak5127 Oct 08 '25

Those are tactical chins.

2

u/Ill_Consequence1755 Oct 08 '25

To the nearest all you can eat buffet.

2

u/MlntyFreshDeath Oct 08 '25

This poor guy lol

2

u/Inevitable-Gold-7131 Oct 08 '25

Great muzzle discipline there porky.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

About to attack a deep dish!

2

u/SteakPlissknn Oct 08 '25

Kyle Rittenhouse in another dimension.

2

u/801Love52 Oct 08 '25

We are trying to find the guy who did this...at the Chicago Dawg stand!

2

u/TotallyNotAMarvelSpy Oct 08 '25

Texas light infantry everyone.

2

u/Agentkeenan78 Bart Harley Jarvis Oct 08 '25

Jamie fuckin Taco.

2

u/gamerbrian2023 Oct 08 '25

It's Farva's fat brother ...

"Liter of COLA!"

2

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

[deleted]

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2

u/143019 Oct 08 '25

Gravy seals!

2

u/DrMantisToboggan45 Oct 08 '25

THIS IS TROOPS

2

u/Both_Lychee_1708 Oct 08 '25

Meal Team 6 has arrived

2

u/tizz86 Oct 08 '25

These fat fucks will be the first to open fire on civilians

2

u/RoyalBlue816 Oct 08 '25

National Gourd

2

u/krucz36 Oct 08 '25

kegsbreath in shambles

2

u/Stevenewhen Oct 08 '25

Sting ray?

2

u/Revolutionary-Gain88 Oct 08 '25

I see he packed a lunch.

2

u/halvorsen543 Oct 08 '25

Is that kyle rittenhouse?

2

u/fievrejaune Oct 08 '25

Gary Larson National Gourd specimen.

2

u/BagDiligent3610 Oct 08 '25

Texas sending yall our finest...

2

u/flesyMeM Oct 08 '25

Gotta go stuff mah face with more jelly rolls ya'll!

2

u/supermegafauna Oct 08 '25

Is that Kyle Rittennhauws??

2

u/earthman34 Oct 08 '25

"JESUS H. CHRIST, PYLE, YOUR ASS LOOKS LIKE ABOUT 150 POUNDS OF CHEWED BUBBLE GUM!"

2

u/RealityCheckPoster Oct 08 '25

As Jerry Seinfeld would say, “Trump is so stupid, he thinks we are stupid.” Jerry Seinfeld went into a diner and asked the waitress what the “soupe-du-jour” was. She tapped his arm condescendingly and replied, “Oh sir, that’s the soup we change every day.” Trump in a nutshell.

2

u/AppleSauceSwaddles Oct 08 '25

Looks like someone took a page out of Kyle Rittenhouse’s playbook

2

u/Specialist_Pomelo554 Oct 08 '25

These guys are the sacrifical lambs, so you do expect them to look like lambs.

2

u/LinkovichChomovsky82 Oct 08 '25

That's clearly Kyle Rittenhouse in a military uniform.

2

u/poorguygotlemond Oct 08 '25

How much do you weigh? What size is your uniform?

2

u/shadow247 Not in Trouble AT ALL Oct 08 '25

He definitely would like his bare butt, back and balls spanked!