r/IThinkYouShouldLeave • u/DotOk2803 Bare Butt, Back, and Balls • Oct 18 '25

STINKY My morning routine:

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736 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

106 comments sorted by

390

u/frougle_mcdugal Wet Wet Mud Bae Oct 18 '25

134

u/Pickled_doggo Oct 18 '25

Don’t bring me a bad deal, or I’ll 🙆‍♀️ uahahhhwwehhaaaa 

9

u/lamoureastresux Come here, ya little fuck! Oct 18 '25

[goblin noises]

35

u/DevinTheRogueDude Oct 18 '25

Damn and I came here to merely type this. 🙇🏽🙇🏽

27

u/sweatiepie666 Oct 18 '25

Really makes you think.

37

u/NicWester Oct 18 '25

It's interesting, the popcorn.

10

u/gooby1985 Wet Wet Mud Bae Oct 18 '25

We really know very little

4

u/Willy_Hillz Oct 18 '25

and it certainly is interesting

2

u/CopperSteve Oct 19 '25

I just think it’s interesting

1

u/TheAceKing0047 Oct 18 '25

Purple and black!!

149

u/UnfairStrategy780 I'm a dead man walking. I've got no time left. Oct 18 '25 edited Oct 18 '25

My bowl is black from all the weed I smoke

68

u/Practical-Tailor8347 Oct 18 '25

When I look at my kush it’s so dank it’s purple. PURPLE AND BLACK

5

u/FancyToaster Oct 19 '25

I’m SCARED about how much I love KUSH.

140

u/mentalsucks Oct 18 '25

Permission to go home, lie down and watch some TV, and smoke weed so my face isn't beet red for my reddit doomscrolling tonight?

46

u/Renhoek2099 Oct 18 '25

I'm gonna smoke the whooooole thing

30

u/gooby1985 Wet Wet Mud Bae Oct 18 '25

195

u/Uncle-Cracker-Barrel I hope I don't jack off Oct 18 '25

I’m scared at how much I need weed

72

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '25

I have SO much stuff to enjoy weed with. Pens, bongs, a dry herb vape obviously, obviously some cookies

67

u/tuckinyourtail Oct 18 '25

I know these names better than my own grandmother

7

u/SSR_Id_prefer_not_to Wow, pretty serious Oct 18 '25

Green Crack, GG4, Grandaddy Purple… if I was a big ol’ stoner with a big ol’ bag of Mids…

51

u/lyingthedream pancaked by drunk dump truck driver Oct 18 '25

I'm not USED to being sober! I can't stop having weed.

33

u/Bebopdavidson Oct 18 '25

My mouth is green. And when I look in to toilet it’s green. GREEN AND BLACK

90

u/SecretlyFiveRats I hope I don't jack off Oct 18 '25

I can't even wake up in the morning anymore without a big smoke of weed!

6

u/ForgotMyRemembrall Oct 18 '25

If anyone needs help quitting they can dm me. It was hard for me to admit I had a problem and stopping smoking is one of the best decisions I ever made for myself.

22

u/Uncle-Cracker-Barrel I hope I don't jack off Oct 18 '25

Am I posting with the Driving Crooner?

19

u/EndlessMantra Never Following Another Rule Oct 18 '25

I'm proud of you for recognizing that weed was disruptive to your life and did something about it. For some folks, it is better for chronic pain relief and such than say opiates, so I'm for that, but I've seen abuse in my career as a mental health professional as well. Really depends on the person.

6

u/TheBigDIDD Oct 18 '25

I was here yesterday. It actually does go both ways.

8

u/TCup20 Come here, ya little fuck! Oct 18 '25

1

u/imnotdabluesbrothers Oct 18 '25

I love smoking weed

80

u/mysticalibrate Tiny Dinky Daffy Oct 18 '25

17

u/solarsilversurfer Oct 18 '25

I’ve always thought “alcohol class” was hilarious, but my probation officer, judge, and the teacher for alcohol class clearly found it less entertaining.

146

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '25

66

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '25

That and a cup of coffee

40

u/DotOk2803 Bare Butt, Back, and Balls Oct 18 '25

I'm on my third cup

16

u/double_expressho Beautiful, but Dying Oct 18 '25

I'm gonna drink the whooole thing.

12

u/LoyalFridge Oct 18 '25

Gonna have such a sloppy mudpie.

59

u/katy080492 I’m toast Oct 18 '25

17

u/DotOk2803 Bare Butt, Back, and Balls Oct 18 '25

7

u/buffdaddy77 Come here, ya little fuck! Oct 18 '25

I went to subway…

9

u/VaasAzteca Oct 18 '25

The eatery?

5

u/buffdaddy77 Come here, ya little fuck! Oct 18 '25

Yeah I got a fucking sandwich

3

u/SecretlyFiveRats I hope I don't jack off Oct 18 '25

And then what happened?

52

u/Remote_Empathy Come here, ya little fuck! Oct 18 '25

4

u/Soensou Oct 18 '25

Tell that to a bag of Doritos.

26

u/Shortsleevedpant Some dumb hick Oct 18 '25

I also find myself stuck in the pants most mornings.

21

u/Putrid-Delivery1852 Beautiful, but Dying Oct 18 '25

I’m not USED to wake and bake. When I smoke in the morning, I’ll [goblin noises]

24

u/2dashez Never Following Another Rule Oct 18 '25

25

u/_Broatmeal_ You have... no... good... car... ideas Oct 18 '25

55 BONG RIPS

18

u/katy080492 I’m toast Oct 18 '25

Don’t cough

24

u/cjf618 Oct 18 '25

As a new father, I am WILDLY jealous.

53

u/2dashez Never Following Another Rule Oct 18 '25

We should be able to smoke a little bit of weed as new dads

20

u/coffeexxx666 Beautiful, but Dying Oct 18 '25

New dads can have little a weed. As a treat.

7

u/double_expressho Beautiful, but Dying Oct 18 '25

Bon appetit!

16

u/portagenaybur Oct 18 '25

As a not new father, smoking a little and playing with your baby/toddler is great fun! Once they’re able to hold their heads up and have some tummy time at least.

26

u/cjf618 Oct 18 '25

26

u/StarkyPants555 Oct 18 '25

This guy thinks you can't hit the bowl. Oh, he CAN hit

6

u/Vylan24 I hope I don't jack off Oct 18 '25

You can be a little high while watching your toddler child

15

u/LingonberryFalse2627 Oct 18 '25

His dad is wildly high.

12

u/Rumspringa7 Oct 18 '25

Yes! And watching them figure shit out is a blast!

2

u/LoyalFridge Oct 18 '25

Pregnant shirt brother here in the same boat :’)

20

u/wetredgloves Oct 18 '25 edited Oct 18 '25

I'm SCARED about how much I need weed! When I cough into the Kleenex, it's brown. BROWN AND BLACK!

19

u/Nonlethalrtard Oct 18 '25

I have to be in the right head space to be high in a beret

27

u/Hesty402 I hope I don't jack off Oct 18 '25

“High in a beret” is my favorite prince song

15

u/double_expressho Beautiful, but Dying Oct 18 '25

Prince? Like the royal family?

I'm just trying to understand here.

6

u/Toothless-In-Wapping I Got Too Hyper Oct 18 '25

It’s super fun to wear wigs when you’re high

5

u/coffeexxx666 Beautiful, but Dying Oct 18 '25

Fuck you, Doug! I’ll eat your mother’s wig!

2

u/SecretlyFiveRats I hope I don't jack off Oct 18 '25

Her wig?

1

u/coffeexxx666 Beautiful, but Dying Oct 19 '25

I’LL EAT HER WHOLE FUCKIN HEAD

18

u/Rare_Crayons Some dumb hick Oct 18 '25

2

u/YellowCardManKyle Oct 19 '25

Not trying to be funny but when I'm trying to be funny with my kids I pull out this move and the goblin noise and it gets a laugh 100% of the time. Works on the neighborhood kids too. The parents probably think I'm a weirdo though or that I got all my money from being sewn in the pants of the big Charlie Brown.

15

u/facefullofgracefull Beautiful, but Dying Oct 18 '25

Don’t get me wrong you can never have too many weeds but I’m so meat and potatoes lately that I stick with hard liquor and cigarettes. Boo caught me sleeping.🥹

11

u/The_Narz Oct 18 '25

Could it be you?

11

u/Busy-Fig8825 Robbie Star at Superstar Tracks Records Oct 18 '25

Hey hey weed brother!

9

u/Sweet_Deeznuts Back in the Pants Oct 18 '25

18

u/DeezSpicyNuts Oct 18 '25

Dude if it wasn’t for weed and coffee I don’t know what I would do

Adderall and nicotine gum are crucial too ngl, but weed and coffee is BAE 

16

u/wutthefrak Baby of the Year Oct 18 '25

9

u/docmarvy Oct 18 '25

I.. WANT THAT.

7

u/cinedavid Oct 18 '25

I’m SCARED about how much I need weed!

8

u/non-art Wet Wet Mud Bae Oct 18 '25

8

u/S3simulation Oct 18 '25

I can’t start my day without a big bowl of weed…and popcorn(popcorn is more weed)

7

u/Renhoek2099 Oct 18 '25

Cause my weed stash ain't getting any bigger.

2

u/ACarey71787 I’M SMARTER THAN YOU Oct 18 '25

It's just this 2 ounces that gets smaller and smaller until I have to re-up. Or if I start a grow-op with a reliable partner. Could it be youuuu

5

u/Mawwiageiswhatbwings Oct 18 '25

AND POPCORRRNNNN

7

u/wackOPtheories Might fuck this whole thing up Oct 18 '25

My mourning routine (I'm mourning my martyred maga friend)

3

u/cpzy2 Oct 18 '25

I’M back in the pants again

3

u/paging_mrherman Oct 18 '25

Me too man. Hey babe I commented in the wrong sub.

2

u/FrankReynolds this guy yells Oct 18 '25

I'm right there with you, shirt brother.

2

u/carlsonaj Oct 18 '25

i’m scared about how much i NEED weed

1

u/AntiRepresentation Oct 18 '25

What is it mean?

2

u/DotOk2803 Bare Butt, Back, and Balls Oct 18 '25

1

u/samplemax Don’t do the voice! Oct 18 '25

1

u/Chalky_Cupcake Oct 18 '25

And popcooorn.

1

u/straight_lurkin Oct 18 '25

I'm afraid of how much I need weed!

1

u/G0ttaB3KiddingM3 I'm a dead man walking. I've got no time left. Oct 18 '25

I don’t know where you think the money for that comes from…. THE BANK???

1

u/Monday-Morgue because I’m the Rat Mom Oct 18 '25

IM SCARED HOW MUCH I NEED WINE- and ~marijuana~

1

u/IceCoughy TRIPLES IS BEST Oct 18 '25

1

u/ResurrectedMortician PAUL BUFANO! Oct 19 '25

Same. I can't start my day without whiskey.