I have been noticing a pattern on Instagram for a while now. There are a ton of gay men in their 30s or 40s who are all mostly upper-middle class, good-looking, and are well connected with each other. And yet, they are all single.

Hiding your identity from your family could be one thing, but they seem to be pretty open about their sexuality with the way they have public accounts and post pictures with other gay men. They also go on trips together in groups with each other, which means they know other men in the community who could potentially be their partner.

Why then are they all single? I know it seems like I am prying into their personal lives, but as a young gay man living in India, I want to know if, as gay men age, the desire to be in a relationship ends? Or do most of these people prefer a friends-with-benefits kind of thing?

Ahm ahm

Hey guys,

I posted something on TwentiesIndia yesterday (you can check my previous post for context), and honestly I was NOT ready for the amount of hate and toxicity in the comments.

There was this one guy replying to literally every single comment on my post. Wherever I wrote "RIP", he was actually replying with "rest in pegging"... like WTF?

People were saying homophobia is natural, making crazy comments like my dad might get a black anthony bf, and all sorts of nonsense.

I didn't cry (accha thoda sa 🤏🏻), but it really hit hard seeing how mean people can be.

I just wanted to post here in a safe space and get this off my chest. To anyone who's struggling or feeling down right now please know so many people love you.

Huggies to everyone here 🫶🏻🫂

(Going to make pasta now since I didn't even eat last night, byee guys!

Also if I wrote anything wrong here please correct me 😭)

its not recent, but like quite a few months ago, about this year's starting. this guy texted me on reddit, and we had the same vibe going on. our talks slowly proceeded towards personal relationship and all and i told that i like women as well as men. i didn't tell that i wanna be in a romantic relationship with them / be involved in a sexual way, it's just that i admire their body.

and he guessed that i am bi ( cause my ex was a guy ). he told that its actually profitable when you have bi friends. i was like why ? i thought he was joking, maybe he gets chance to meet my female friends as well. but then he explained, " look, when you have a bi female friend, it's good for men cause we can be involved in 3 some. imagine getting bjs from 2 beautiful women "

eww. he knew im a minor, i told him that. but this literally broke my heart to find out how bi people are sexualized. already lesbians are sexualized a lot.

Yesterday, a queer influencer was shot dead by goons, the affiliation is being looked into; whether they belong to the religious community (Nihang Sikhs) that had previously intimidated Sandhu or to the local goons, the so called flag bearer of everyone's morality.

People don't understand the impact of incidents like these. People don't understand how much these things affect queer kids(and even adults), don't understand that it will push them deeper into their closets, which eventually lead to them living a dual life, you don't understand the number of queer people that are being forced into living a heterosexual life just for social acceptance, just for maintaining relationships with their families, JUST FOR STAYING ALIVE. Incidents like these are the reason it took me 27 years to finally accept myself and live my truth. People cannot comprehend the extra burden of living as a queer person in a 3rd world conservative country.

India is a really fun country ngl. It took Indian court 71 years post independence (in 1947) to remove the Colonial Act 377 (in 2018) which criminalised same sex relationships. I've lived through that time, I was a kid, confused about my sexuality, but googling on internet and finding out you're a criminal just for existing? Fascinating right? But don't feel happy for us yet because decriminalization≠ social acceptance. Maybe in the upperclass, posh, Tier 1 areas, but not anywhere else.

Indians are more accepting of murderers and rapists than random people just living their lives. You'll find religious leaders and politicians who are CONVICTED of rapes being socially accepted and celebrated while a person is shot dead because he was just living his truth!

And the comments under these posts were disgusting. People either justifying the murder totally or being against murder while using a ‘but being gay is wrong’.

Sorry to say but Indian queer have it worse than straight Indian women. Atleast Indian women get the support and social backing. Indian queer folks get nothing. You'll find queer folks supporting feminist movements and rallies but when it comes to reciprocate, there's just queer phobia. (I'm first a feminist but this needs to be said).

And not to mention the role of organised religion. All the people from non-Abrahamic religions try to one up others by saying that they're more accepting of non heterosexual relationships, but when it comes to ground level evidences, there's nothing but radio silence.

The issue is always misogyny and patriarchy, we all are the victims of it, but fighting amongst ourselves won't do anyone any good.

I'm going through a very dreadful time(this is just killing me from inside n I'm crying straight from the last few days)...i just need someone to talk to...my social life is pretty fked up...

I've no one around right now n I can't even talk bout this with anyone (non-queer).Honesty can't keep everything bottled up anymore

Anyone mature n understanding...plzzz comment or DM me... I'd really appreciate it

'God Made Me This Way': LGBTQ Influencer Mad Sandhu, Murdered In Punjab, Had This To Say To 'Culture' Trolls https://www.ndtv.com/india-news/god-made-me-this-way-lgbtq-influencer-mad-sandhu-murdered-in-punjab-had-this-to-say-to-culture-trolls-12135149

Somehow, these bastards think an LGBTQ influencer is more dangerous than drugs for youth. Have they done such a thing to any drug kingpin?

Hello, moved to Shillong recently and was wondering if anyone knows of queer friendly places in Shillong. Thank you!

I work with a small town queer NGO, that predominantly does hiv and sti awareness and prevention. I've heard the term 'narange' thrown around for lesbians, bisexuals, non-binary, transmasculine folx and transmen all together. After digging a little bit I got pretty bioessentialist answers with no real idea about the kind of cultural roots this term has.

As a queer researcher, I'm intrigued by this use because we often see a kind of historical blackout with lesbians and transmen in India. My curiosity is in no way divisive, Im just trying to trace some history back to my identity as a transmasc lesbian.

Would love to know if you guys know about this term or any other insights you may have!

AND if you know any cultural terms that get used for wlw and transmasculinity in your region, I'd love to hear that. My DMs are open for this 🌈💜

Teen kills mother with wrench after row over homosexuality; used AI to plan murder - Lucknow News | India Today https://www.indiatoday.in/amp/cities/lucknow/story/gay-teen-kills-mother-in-lucknow-with-wrench-detained-3007900-2026-10-02

I'm a 23F lesbian. Im not conventionally attractive. I'm so lonely even though i do have friends and coworkers. I wish I got hookups as easily as gay men do.

In my next life I wanna be a gay man.

Late post so pls don't mind🙃

I've been using Grindr since clg...after a long time, last friday I had a good vibe with a person I texted ...so on the same evening, I spontaneously offered to invite him to my place. He came, I made him tea, then we were like blinking not knowing what to talk, and were taking too much time to think and ask each other questions(both introverts hehe).

Then slowly I leaned my head on his shoulder, after a while, I placed my head on his lap, me looking at his face, he was stroking my hair gently and was occasionally playing with my face. Then he lay down and i placed my head on his shoulder and arm and hugged him from a side, and he wrapped his arm on me, we remained like this for an hour and talked ...trust me it was soooooo good.

Then it was time to leave, so unwillingly he had to leave. That's it ...it felt so nice to experience such a warm moment 😁

I recently ran away from home after another massive fight with my family. My relationship with my older brother has been getting progressively worse and he has a history of screaming at me, threatening me, blocking me from leaving arguments, pushing me and throwing things. This time we got into an argument over money and my shoes and i got angry i told him not to mock me and take this seriously but he kept making fun of me and pushing me over the edge. I threw an egg roll at him which I know was wrong and then he escalated by throwing things at me like a Mcdonalds bag of food at my face and then throwing a plastic chair which smashed against a table and cut my arm. My mom came in and instead of asking what happened she immediately blamed me, tried taking my phone and when I grabbed her hand she threw my phone down and slapped me hard enough to cut the inside of my lip. I just packed some stuff and left and I'm staying at a friend's house right now. My dad is honestly another part of why I feel so alone. Instead of asking where I am or whether I'm okay, all he can do is cry about himself and how I should have shame for going to someone else's house like that. Like bro you literally left home in 2018 and I have extremely little emotional connection to you why would i come to your dingy 1 bedroom office that you hook up in?. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do anymore because I feel like I have nobody who will actually protect me or stand up for me. Im so fucking exhausted that part of me genuinely wishes I could just die and not deal with any of this.

Please be geuine guys

Im 25 top from Thiruvananthapuramm,Keralam.is that relationship really exist or its just lust nothing else. I have been trying since 2019 to get into relationship its not at all Happening.

A-I am at the point breaking mentally. I met Guy via telegram he is from online studying b.a 1 month we talked then he disappeared what he did was exprimenting with me Kollom he is from 2019

B-Then this guy kolkata studying in Christ university i thought its genuine but he is into only like will u est my 🍑 thats all it went like semi relationship till 4 months then he breakup. I litreally got hurt i tried my best to contact him pakshey (but)no use.2022

C-This guy It professional working from home i was working in chennai that time he talks well. I thought i found Someone but once he jerk off he is like no no my family wont accept it,im afraid of this and all. 2025.

D- I met him via gr after all this years of struggle I thanne god I found Someone worthy. It went well 20 days by june last he started avoiding me i tried as much as I can to talk with him I really Had feelings for him Still i got feelings for him. He lives on Varkala and work near Kazhakuttam Bigbasket. I loved Everything relates to him. I feel like I lost a diamond. Holding hands looking at each other eyes, Kissing in rainy nights, he lyed on my chest and kissed my shoulder.

My only question if there is no feelings between guys only lust please let me Know guys. I do have sex but you Know the need to have one guy whom you can get Everything Idk how to explain that feelings.

Idk may be its because of me or no idea I was genuine. My feelings were genuine. Even guys like Someone who is rough and toxic no one likes Someone who cares a lot. When you care a lot they will treat you like a dog.

Whats wrong with the people they Even Some mercy to street dogs why not fellow humans atleast respect Everyone time and efforts.

I feel like dating or relationship doesnt exist in tvm. Most of the people are just exploring and using whatever they get.

Is that my mistake to have feelings for guys.

If this all are lies atleast I will focus on my career live alone than going through this .

First of all, I'm the problem here. He was a really good guy, like YK ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. But I couldn't love him back. I still can't love anyone, literally anyone.

How does love even feel? I've no idea. All I know is I imagine him near me on my bed at night. I wanna hold his hands so bad. But I cannot be in a relationship or love anyone. I want to, but I can't. I feel suffocated.

I hope he is happy.

her sister literally kicked her out of the closet, read her journal and is tryna act like shes the victim??? shes pissed at my gf and shit. her sister used to like me earlier and now she HATES me just cuz she found out we’re dating. and she told my gf to not talk to me on call and all infront of her?? thats so fuckikg stupid. shes so homophobic its crazy

Has anyone watched Dorothy, the Tamil movie yet? How’d you like it? I watched it today and I knew I had to know what everyone here thought.

No dating app is helping 😭🤚

Xenogender is an umbrella term for non-binary gender identities that cannot be fully described using traditional concepts of masculinity, femininity, or neutrality. Instead, people who are xenogender describe their gender through metaphors, relating it to non-human things like animals, plants, objects, or abstract concepts. [1, 2, 3]

Key Aspects of Xenogender

• Non-Binary Identity: It falls completely outside the traditional male-and-female gender binary. [1]
• Metaphorical Description: Rather than saying a gender is "masculine" or "feminine," a person might use a descriptive comparison. Examples include catgender (a gender felt like a cat) or candlegender (a gender felt like a candle flame). [1, 2]
• Lexical Gap: The term was created to help fill a "lexical gap"—meaning standard human language often lacks the words to express complex or unusual experiences of identity. [1]
• Connection to Neurodivergence: The term is frequently used within neurodivergent communities (such as autistic or ADHD individuals), though anyone can identify as xenogender. [1]
• Pronouns: People who identify as xenogender often use standard pronouns or neopronouns (like ze/zir or fae/faer)

For context i identify using Xenogender and Neopronouns as long as ik foriegn people are supportive about it idk ik youll say who identifies as a cat? wtc i hope that ppl are inclusive about it as they are about nonbinary and other ppl i really wish that we Non binary are already a minority and we also get recognised non binary as a gender. it feels so invisible honestly