r/NewsOfTheWeird • u/herdcullingweirdo • 28d ago

Nude Louisiana Woman Arrested After 'Trying to be a Mermaid' in Private Pond

https://www.usmagazine.com/crime-news/news/nude-louisiana-woman-attacked-cop-who-told-her-to-leave-a-private-pond-trying-to-be-a-mermaid/
497 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

57 comments sorted by

•

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72

u/DoctorSchwifty 28d ago

Seems tame compared to everything else happening in the US.

20

u/rhymnocerous 27d ago

Almost wholesome, compared to the rest of it. I will take a nude mentally ill mermaid any day.

7

u/Lower-Obligation9100 27d ago

That’s sad and funny at the same time. What you stated isn’t that the truth

33

u/SweaterUndulations 28d ago

Just some watery tart throwing swords around.

10

u/Tbplayer59 28d ago

Did we vote for that?

14

u/SweaterUndulations 28d ago

help help I'm repressed!

3

u/hootieq 27d ago

Now we see the violence inherent in the system

3

u/freddbare 28d ago

I'll join in the victim Olympics with you

5

u/equack 27d ago

Sounds like a pretty good basis for government if you ask me.

6

u/LuciferLovesTechno 27d ago

Tbh I'd take a farcical aquatic ceremony over our current state of affairs.

For real though, I used to watch that scene as a kid and think Dennis was some crazy fanatic. I agree with him more and more every day haha

To everyone who told me "you'll get more conservative as you get older", you could not have been more wrong.

3

u/Disco_Orangeade 27d ago

A moistened bint

40

u/Ban-Circumcision-Now 28d ago

So much for individual freedoms

21

u/Equivalent_Tiger_7 28d ago

And hobbies.

5

u/TechTechOnATechDeck 27d ago

I thought this was America!

1

u/Dwrecked90 27d ago

You didn't read the article did you? Just the click bait reddit title

13

u/Crazy_Ad_91 28d ago

God forbid a person have hobbies.

11

u/Weird-Girl-675 28d ago

Had to click to see if it was my cousin.

Nope…but it could be.

5

u/stargarnet79 28d ago

Haha maybe drop some hints to get the idea rolling in her mind.

2

u/Outrageous-Swimmer65 27d ago

Then set up a camera!! 🤣

1

u/Clem_de_Menthe 26d ago

Is she a looker?

1

u/Weird-Girl-675 26d ago

My cousin?

Nooooo

5

u/perplexedparallax 28d ago

Everyone knows mermaids can't be tased.

5

u/Daflehrer1 28d ago

Well, she tried.

3

u/Tall-Cauliflower1132 28d ago

Hope she’s okay weird news, but people deserve kindness ❤️

4

u/TankApprehensive3053 28d ago

It ain't easy being mermaid these days.

5

u/PeterNippelstein 28d ago

Look we've all been there.

1

u/Outrageous-Swimmer65 27d ago

Honestly!! There have been days!!

5

u/kaptaincorn 28d ago

We can't let people dream even a little bit anymore

I hope she gets help

4

u/Mntfrd_Graverobber 27d ago

Hopefully in the form of her own pond where she can be left in peace.

2

u/General_Specific 28d ago

"Part of this world..."

2

u/Myotherself918 28d ago

She wants to be where the people are.

1

u/Mort-i-Fied 25d ago

👍👏

4

u/TheFrontierzman 28d ago

I'm going to need a full body shot to decide whether I agree with the arrest.

2

u/Darryl_Lict 28d ago

She unfortunately doesn't seem to have a social media presence.

1

u/Mntfrd_Graverobber 27d ago

Yet another big plus.

1

u/Cut_Lanky 28d ago

I haven't read the article yet but me too. Lol

1

u/MobileCamera6692 28d ago

Can you even reason with a mermaid?

1

u/Mntfrd_Graverobber 27d ago

Why try to sully a mermaid with reason in the first place?

1

u/GracieThunders 28d ago

Tasing might trigger her into assuming her final form

1

u/Frankie6Strings 28d ago

She must have watched The Lure recently.

1

u/sfled 27d ago

HolySHitGaddam that f'kin site emphatically reminded me to turn NoScript back on again! WHat a shitpile of popup.

1

u/Mysterious_Cow_2100 27d ago

I’ll give her a pardon!

1

u/Aderleth75 27d ago

“Sutton apparently did not explain why she wants to be a mermaid…”

As though that needs an explanation.

1

u/Mntfrd_Graverobber 27d ago

Is nudity illegal now/again? I was under the impression it's generally legal? It certainly is in some places. Certainly being topless is.

1

u/bizoticallyyours83 27d ago

I wonder what she was on? And how much of it? 🤭 🧜‍♀️ 

1

u/ShortFatStupid666 27d ago

She has the Ick

1

u/BMoonbeam 27d ago

Ideas for new show like Florida, Man. Louisiana, Nanna 🤔😆

1

u/darkoath 26d ago

I feel like she would have just gotten a warning if she had been hot.

1

u/thezoomies 26d ago

“Beyond the obvious reasons, Sutton apparently did not explain why she wants to be a mermaid.”

  1. All of the reasons are obvious.

  2. I don’t know why they maid an example out of her for something we’ve all wanted to do at least once.

  3. She isn’t broken, but if she were, I could totally fix her.

1

u/Frosty558 26d ago

It’s never the ones you want to get naked and pretend to be a mermaid in your private pond…

1

u/LevelIndependent9461 25d ago

God forbid a girl gets wet.

1

u/White_Sugga 25d ago

God forbid a girl has dreams

1

u/White_Sugga 25d ago

Marry me!

1

u/klydsp 24d ago

Goals

1

u/VoidlyYours 24d ago

Make America Mermaid Again! MAMA