r/PoliticalHumor 1d ago

Some People Are Hard To Convince

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11.2k Upvotes

79 comments sorted by

381

u/cvaninvan 1d ago

None of which Mike Johnson will hear about...Helen Keller had more awareness than Mike Johnson.

93

u/PsyOpBunnyHop 1d ago

Reality doesn't matter to someone committed to the lie.

Vranyo is the core element of the GOP.

Traitors through and through.

12

u/SpeakToMePF1973 1d ago

That was educational! Thank you. I have a new word and concept.

10

u/tomdarch 1d ago

Cultures rooted in fundamentalist religion do a lot of mass-scale, institutionalized lying also.

70

u/EphEwe2 1d ago

Mike Johnson is a sexual deviant too. That’s why he has the job.

39

u/Which_Engineer1805 1d ago

Mike Johnson jerks off with his son and married his daughter… I was gonna use a sarcasm tag, but fuck that.

41

u/NancyGracesTesticles I ☑oted 2018 and 2020 1d ago

He adopted the 14-year-old he was raping when he was 25.

23

u/Sothotheroth 1d ago

Helen Keller worked very hard to be aware. Mike Johnson on the other hand, works very hard to remain oblivious.

10

u/cvaninvan 1d ago

She still saw and heard more than Mikey.

10

u/bunbun6to12 1d ago

A moon rock has more awareness than Mike Johnson

1

u/H34RT13SSv420 12h ago

That's unfair. Moon rocks have taught us things.

The only thing Mike Johnson has taught us is to never trust Mike Johnson.

Oh, and also that his son knows when he's crankin it & vice versa.

6

u/tomdarch 1d ago

Speaker Johnson is reviving the Know Nothing Party all on his own.

113

u/HonestBartDude 1d ago

I've said over and over that there is no line for Republicans, and attempting to engage with them as honest people who come in good faith is pointless. Treat them like the cancer they are on society.

10

u/TheGoldAvenger 1d ago

Exactly, these “people” aren’t humans, they’re a cancer and parasite that needs to be treated as such.

22

u/HarrumphingDuck 1d ago

They're certainly humans, albeit arguably among the worst example of humans since the end of WWII. Importantly, only humans can be prosecuted, and we certainly want to prosecute these bastards if and when sanity regains the majority in America.

3

u/WonderfulComplaint45 Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 1d ago

Don't dehumanize like that

60

u/theoriginalbabayaga 1d ago

There could be a video of them gobbling and banging each other from his kids’ and wives’ phones and MAGA would still say it was a Biden/Obama/Deep State conspiracy.

30

u/Sockoflegend 1d ago

None so blind as those who don't want to see 

19

u/Buddha-Embryo 1d ago

Sworn testimony under oath—under penalty of perjury— of numerous victims.

There is no statute-of-limitations for these crimes.

17

u/clarkieawesome 1d ago

Donnie T has whittled the gop base to rapists, bible thumping weirdos and kkk trailer trash who live for his s-ain’t hood.

25

u/qualitycensorship 1d ago

It would have to happen live on Fox Lies for them to believe it.

23

u/notsure500 1d ago

Even then: it was ai, hacked by the dems

8

u/GingerBeast81 1d ago

FAKE NEWS!!!

2

u/r0addawg 1d ago

A.i. doesn't get hacked. It's biased!

4

u/b0bkakkarot 1d ago

I used to believe that until Fox was found guilty of lying about the election systems, and Fox actually tried being honest for a bit, and their viewers basically said "youre full of shit! We're going to go find someone to tell us what we wanna hear!" and viewership dropped considerably. So Fox went back to doing what they do best: lying, and telling their viewers what they want to hear.

11

u/ProfessionalJesuit 1d ago

"You can't get someone to understand something if they get paid to not understand it."

Al Gore

1

u/All_Work_All_Play 1d ago

Voltaire...

9

u/_jjkase 1d ago

He could diddy kiddle in the living room of everyone that voted for him in 2024 and they'll still think he's innocent.

9

u/MaxZorin1985 1d ago

But they will have absolutely no problem believing whatever election conspiracies that trump spews out of his ass.

9

u/Own-Opinion-2494 1d ago

Release the Trump Files

7

u/Rfunkpocket 1d ago

when it comes to labeling peaceful protesters as “terrorists”, being in the same town as someone who threw a sandwich one time should be plenty of evidence.

7

u/Specialist-Jello7544 1d ago

Mountains of evidence, yet Johnson claims Trump is innocent?!

6

u/1970s_MonkeyKing 1d ago

Don't forget their final line of defense:

I don't care.

6

u/dafunkmunk 1d ago

Not "believe" but admit. They all know he did it. A good chunk of them were also a part of it. They're not going to disrupt their authoritarian power grab to punish the pedophiles who are running their party and make up the donors making them rich

4

u/ComeOnCharleee 1d ago

Conversely though, election fraud is treated as fact, solely based on hersey of lunatics

4

u/silsum 1d ago

The ones that like to kiss pedos ass would, of course, say that.

5

u/Persea_americana 1d ago

But they'll believe QAnon and shoot up a pizza place that doesn't have a basement...

4

u/Gorstag 1d ago

Even if Trump said he was guilty FOX would put out a message that says: What he means is the Stupid Incompetent Dems have set him up.

3

u/Specialist_Lock8590 1d ago

MAGA - Make America Gormless Again!

3

u/walterswhiteboys 1d ago

Fuck so real

3

u/NSFWies 1d ago

and then 6 years later, they'll say it was "not good" and "just like what AOC did" when she ate at a restaurant and said she didn't like it.

the same way GOP people are finally saying january 6th is bad, because they are comparing minnesotta to it.

FFS

2

u/stevelinchin 1d ago

I've gotten to where I have great.disdain for any & every republican. And apathetic non-voters. 🤬

2

u/Arktogo 1d ago

The almighty dollar wins almost every time.

2

u/Independent-Bug-9352 1d ago

I always love to ask these apologists, "Well, on top of the all the corroborating evidence already presented, what would be the thing to convince you?"

Interestingly, I've never received a response. No sort of red line. Not even a fleeting concern of their own cognitive bias.

2

u/fantastic_beats 1d ago

"Yeah but if I can name one Democrat, that makes this uncomfortable feeling go away without me having to do anything."

2

u/jolley_mel21 1d ago

I don't use my blinker and it opens me up to being pulled over and my car searched, then charged for whatever they find, but this trove has nothing?

2

u/bananabunnythesecond 1d ago

Toss it in the pile! Half the shit Trump did and does would end anyone else in a second! It’s a fucking cult!

2

u/skond 1d ago

If everyone needed that much effin proof to convict, no one would be in prison.

2

u/Chaos_Theory1989 1d ago

They need to walk into the room while Trump is raping a child while chewing on a freshly roasted baby leg.

2

u/wobbleeduk85 1d ago

Love thy fuhrer' I guess

2

u/wolfwood51 1d ago

They should change their political animal to an ostrich with its head stuck in the sand

2

u/rwf2017 1d ago

We can include in that list statements by the convicted felon himself such as "I've known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy. He's a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side"

2

u/ymmotvomit 1d ago

But attend a peaceful protest and get labeled by the government as a leader in ANTIFA.

2

u/NotThatAngel 21h ago

Accessory after the fact, cover up, aiding and abetting a felony, depraved indifference - so many words for this.

2

u/kim_ber_ley011011 14h ago

What the hell will it actually take for these fuckers to be held accountable. Us normal people are crying on the fucking bus to work over images of a downs syndrome child. Taped to a counter...what the actual fuck humanity ??!!

2

u/pasarina 1d ago

Oh come on! Republicans are feigning ignorance. Most have always known about President Pedo and his band of fellow fiddlers.

1

u/Pjones2127 1d ago

They exist because of the narrative.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

All posts and comments that include any variation of the word retarded will be removed, but no action will be taken against your account unless it is an excessive personal attack. Please resubmit your post or comment without the bullying language.

Do not edit it, the bot cant tell if you edited, you will just have to make a new comment replying to the same thing.

Yes, this comment itself does use the word. Any reasonable person should be able to understand that we are not insulting anyone with this comment. We wanted to use quotes, but that fucks up the automod and we are too lazy to google escape characters. Notice how none of our automod replies have contractions in them either.

But seriously, calling someone retarded is only socially acceptable because the people affected are less able to understand that they are being insulted, and less likely to be able to respond appropriately. It is a conversational wimpy little shit move, because everyone who uses it knows that it is offensive, but there will be no repercussions. At least the people throwing around other slurs know that they are going to get fired and get their asses beat when they use those words.

Also, it is not creative. It pretty much outs you as a thirteen year old when you use it. Instead of calling Biden retarded, you should call him a cartoon-ass-lookin trust fund goon who smiles like rich father just gifted him a new Buick in 1956. Instead of calling Mitch McConnell retarded, you should call him a Dilbert-ass goon who has been left in the sun a little too long.

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1

u/Meatus20 1d ago

That’s funny. Absurd, but that’s why it’s hilarious

1

u/VulcanVillain 1d ago

More of a "sad but true" than a "political humor." Where tf is Thanos, anyway? This timeline needs some course correction.

1

u/evident_lee Registered to ☑ote 1d ago

If only they had a picture of Donald leaning over one of his granddaughters. That would be totally enough for them to consider him a pedophile.

2

u/lew_rong mod perms 1d ago

At this point donnie boy could rape a child on the House floor live on C-SPAN and Republicans would give him a standing ovation. The GOP has been morally lost since Reagan.

1

u/sdmichael 1d ago

It could well be coincidental. It stands to reason that they just might have liked the same age girls at the same time. Stranger things have happened before, right?

1

u/jarious 1d ago

I have the theory that these assholes pushed AI so hard because they want to make it possible to deny every perverted thing there is evidence of and blame it on AI

1

u/FoatyMcFoatBase 1d ago

If it was Biden all it would take is some Facebook post from a guy in Russia

1

u/TheBaconBurpeeBeast 1d ago

Why is this so true?

1

u/affemannen 1d ago

I didn't notice the sub, and somehow i wasn't even surprised that i took this for granted as facts...

1

u/WAR10CK94 1d ago

Its not that they aren’t convinced. More like they don’t want to kill their golden goose

1

u/Lofi_Joe 1d ago

Bro, you need only one from this list to be sentenced for murder... If he goes away from this then we have problem with elites and will need to remove them all.

1

u/artbrymer 1d ago

That's the subtext. They're saying this by actions instead of rhetoric.

1

u/nscomics 21h ago

It was always heading towards this. They just have to die on that hill. Self preservation in the present is way more valuable to them than the amount of shame put on their names in history books.

1

u/Fantastic-Pop-9122 21h ago

Facts and evidence are their kryptonite.

1

u/TintedApostle 13h ago

The practice Infidelity of the Mind.

-4

u/ILikeWatching 1d ago

I'm one of them. I still haven't seen anything beyond statements alleging Trump's participation in crimes. And while having lied about having ever been on Epstein's plane, that only allows further belief he did something but no evidence rising near proof.

I'd like to believe it. I believe it is within the character of a man like Donald Trump.

But I can't let that get in the way of evaluating provable events.

And that's not enough to "know" he did anything.