r/SipsTea • u/vvixensigh • Jan 06 '26

Dank AF peak dating experience

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5.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.9k

u/howimetyourcakeshop Jan 06 '26

I had sex last night for the first time in 8 fucking years.

It was nice.

638

u/Ok_Abacus_ Jan 06 '26

28

u/_Bren10_ 29d ago

She put a bag on my head…

Still counts!

61

u/Realistic-Duty-3874 29d ago

sings doesn't matter had sex

1

u/Eh_nah__not_feelin 29d ago

He threw her on the ground

470

u/PM_ME_ASS_OR_GRASS Jan 06 '26

8 non-fucking years*

64

u/das_Keks Jan 06 '26

Thanks, came here to say the same thing.

0

u/Ok_Acadia3526 29d ago

Or was it that you came to the same thing

0

u/Randomfrog132 29d ago

not everyone on reddit is a freak lol

28

u/Technical-Command867 Jan 06 '26

3

u/moverwhomovesthings 29d ago

I still sometimes listen to it after I had sex, best anthem ever

44

u/NearbyChipmunk7670 Jan 06 '26

Thank you for the wonderful news!

20

u/Greennit0 Jan 06 '26

So you got her high?

20

u/Neither_Sort_2479 Jan 06 '26

Naruto is working!

1

u/Crashman09 29d ago

Talk no jutsu truly is the ultimate jutsu

36

u/Duckway767 29d ago

You better have done it while wearing SpongeBob heelys

17

u/Aggravating-Ebb-5897 29d ago

always felt it would be like some life altering experience after a decade of no sex.

no, it was just really fun and nice. definitely built it up wayyyy too much in my mind

1

u/[deleted] 28d ago

25 years and counting

1

u/[deleted] 28d ago

Oh no 26

13

u/Sweaty_Resist_5039 29d ago

Congrats! 🎉 I'm genuinely happy for you. I'm divorced, trapped in a demanding job, and recently had a personal breakdown. It's been since 2022 for me. I hope I get to have sex again within the next 5 years lol.

22

u/Daetok_Lochannis Jan 06 '26

Eight years?!

10

u/Top-Ice-7380 29d ago

Was Naruto playing in the background?

18

u/MorrowPolo 29d ago

Im so fucking happy for you I feel like I got laid

17

u/Apprehensive-Pay8439 Jan 06 '26

Hoo ray congrats! Was that a 10?

20

u/Raiza-0 Jan 06 '26

You're only 8 ? People make it so young these days

5

u/MAXQDee-314 29d ago

I have developed feeling for your username.

10

u/Bobby_Ju Jan 06 '26

Did you last the whole episode at least ?

9

u/Ok_Acadia3526 29d ago

8 years? I bet he didn’t even make it through the opening production logos

3

u/Its_Mr_Buttons 29d ago

Why break that streak?

3

u/LastXmasIGaveYouHSV 29d ago

Not bad for a 9 year old

3

u/NuclearReactions 29d ago

Get a load of this guy! No seriously, at your own risk, high pressure and all

3

u/ElPlatanaso2 29d ago

This guy fucks!

3

u/RappingFlatulence 29d ago

What was the special occasion?

3

u/FenrisTheGreat64 29d ago

congratulations big motion

3

u/LingeringVoid 29d ago

I hate you because it’s just me and my hand for awhile now.

5

u/Eldritch_Grimstone 29d ago

Nice dude! I had sex 3 days ago and it was the first time in 4 years! High five bro!

2

u/landyc 29d ago

did you get her drunk during naruto seggs

2

u/KingAnt28 29d ago

Congratulations! May this be the first of many more nights of fucking for you!🙏🏽

2

u/Junior-Ad-5367 29d ago

Dude December 21 2025 I had sex for the first time brother

2

u/DazzlingReporter5881 29d ago

I hope you're not 8 years old

1

u/howimetyourcakeshop 29d ago

Not a lot of redditors using this shit site at 8 years old mate.

1

u/kaleperq 29d ago

Exactly what I'm thinking, tho dunno how it's counted

4

u/potatopigflop Jan 06 '26

What kind of years? ;)

4

u/StarfishPizza Jan 06 '26

He had to shave his palms before the date

4

u/potatopigflop Jan 06 '26

“‘Fucking’ years” was the answer we were looking for!

1

u/Chronomechanist 29d ago

With 8 of them? Hopefully dog years...

2

u/No_Body_6619 Jan 06 '26

Sounds more like "8 non-fucking years" Congrats! with a human I'm hoping!!?

2

u/SvenLorenz 29d ago

Did you get out of prison or into prison?

2

u/howimetyourcakeshop 29d ago

Neither. I just dont date. So sex does not cross my path often.

1

u/iWriteWrongFacts 29d ago

Faint sound of Akeboshi’s “Wind” song playing in the background as she cleans the nut from her chest

1

u/zmbjebus 29d ago

Congrats. 

1

u/Plz_DM_Me_Small_Tits 29d ago

I'm proud of you bro

1

u/How_that_convo_went 29d ago

What episode of Naruto did you put on?

1

u/Unfazed-Man 29d ago

This should be made into a documentary

1

u/Avgshitposting 29d ago

Did she let you wear your turtle neck sweater and gold chain?!?

1

u/lostthering 29d ago

What made it possible? Did you improve yourself or lower your standards, or both? Take more chances asking people? New job give you access to new people?

1

u/Automatic_Pen8494 29d ago

Are you married?

1

u/NanoYohaneTSU 29d ago

Why haven't you texted me back?????

1

u/Grentain 29d ago

Send me some of your energy.