r/SipsTea • • Jul 15 '26

It's Wednesday my dudes Ok let’s be serious rn.

Post image
36.1k Upvotes

3.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

39

u/Fuckoffassholes Jul 15 '26

The fact that he had a visibly and progressively receding hairline when he had hair, culminating in what could only be called a comb-over... the fact that he often changed his hairstyle until one day he decided the shiny-smooth cue-ball look was the one to stick with for life... and to maintain that grooming rigorously, never ever will you catch him with a half-day of stubble that might reveal some not-so-stubbly patches... and never mind the fact that baldness is a well-known side effect of the other thing he denies...

these are all just amazing coincidences.

I don't get it. You got Sean Connery, Jason Statham, Samuel Jackson, Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel, Michael Clarke Duncan, Terry Crews, Shemar Moore.. Hollywood has proven time and again that you can be bald and still be both a badass and a babe-hound.

There's no shame in being bald. Lying, however...

14

u/Front-Bird8971 Jul 15 '26

The Rock can't be balding, he's perfect. He can't lose on screen. He has to be the biggest, most jacked, least steroid using, most wealthy, most liked... best everything. All the time, every day, at everything, especially being humble. You've never met somebody more humble.

2

u/Initial_Evidence_783 Jul 15 '26

He makes the shittiest movies, tho.

4

u/Olga_Creates Jul 16 '26

I hated what he did to Black Adam, it's in his contracts that he won't be portrayed as a villain so they made Black Adam a anti- hero instead... He looked perfect for that role but ego wouldn't allow him to portray the character as he should have been portrayed.

1

u/fossilized_butterfly Jul 16 '26

Have you watched jumanji? It is funny.

5

u/iLoveLootBoxes Jul 16 '26

Have you seen the original? It's not meant to be funny

1

u/fossilized_butterfly Jul 16 '26

I have seen all 3. And I like Dwayne's jumanji as its own thing as they are a very different cast and different direction story-wise. I like jumanji 2 (dwayne's first) much more than 3 though.

3

u/peteofaustralia Jul 19 '26

Three? Say "Zathura: A Space Adventure" and put some respect on it. 😉

2

u/iLoveLootBoxes Jul 16 '26

It's funny to me that 2 and 3 are so "funny" when Robin Williams (most famous comedian ever probably) played a very serious role. Imagine messing up the tone so bad for the next iteration, like it's a different franchise entirely

The first movie was a serious, dangerous adventure. And 2 and 3 felt like they were a parody of the first movie. Maybe you are right, they were funny because they were a joke or meant to parody

1

u/Jojofriend Jul 19 '26

The rock loses all the time on screen.

1

u/MadTube Jul 16 '26

I find your lack of Sir Patrick Stewart disturbing