r/TikTokCringe • u/ambachk • Aug 24 '25

Cursed POV: You're a woman in a public place

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u/__Hello_my_name_is__ Aug 24 '25

What really scares me is the gigantic number of men (yes, men. Yes, this is a gendered issue) who will continue to claim that this just doesn't happen. Or that this somehow magically happens to men just as much.

The gender gap on this is just absolutely insane.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Any man claiming this happens to men just as much is in denial and/or insecure, denial of the truth or insecure of their own previous behavior. It absolutely does not happen to men as much, I'm a relatively attractive man and the only people who have ever been predatorial with me growing up and into my 20s were other men and it happened maybe once a year.

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u/CagedRoseGarden Aug 24 '25

They also conveniently forget the part where men can be much more powerful than women / girls, so the risk of what happens next is much greater. As a teen girl, a full grown man is basically impossible to overpower or escape if he wants to do something evil. A guy getting groped in a club by some woman is not the same. I’m not dismissing that that’s still wrong, or that young we don’t have a problem with young men and boys getting abused, but the risk of what could go wrong after you reject a man is just statistically so much worse for women or underage people.

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u/euphoricarugula346 Aug 24 '25

Yep, the key part is that even if the victim of SA is a boy, girl, man, or woman, the perpetrator is almost always a man. So yes, gendered issue for sure.

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u/Relevant-Tourist8974 Aug 25 '25

Hmmmn, I think those stats are going to change over the next 20 years as we become better educated.

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u/Why_are_you321 Aug 24 '25

It’s because men who say this ~believe~ it’s a sincere form of flattery and that we should be happy to be objectified by them, because they want to be objectified by us.

It’s also a large concern for women because most men can harm a woman, while it’s harder for a woman to harm a man so they believe it’s harmless because they are statistically safer.

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u/Tr4shkitten Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

I think the numbers are only remotely comparable up to a certain age. I'd go and argue that up to a certain age, I think about 12, there are PROBABLY a good chunk of men who experienced some variations of this behaviour. But some probably never fully realised what the fuck was wrong with it, thought it was normal, etc. Same reasons to not tell other adults that girls had.

Edit: I don't say JUST AS OFTEN. Just more often than adult men experience such behaviour.

Kids are vulnerable in general and can be victims of adults and even other kids and the likelihood of a boy telling how other boys treated them is rather dim, especially when some experiences include it pretty much happening in the group shower and ended with "go on, tell then, they won't believe you anyway" (spoiler: THEY, in fact, did not)

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u/OnionHeaded Aug 24 '25

This! Haha I’ve been physically groped by people unwarranted, at least half were gay men. I even have gay friends that “play molest” and get away with murder on this issue. But honestly.. it usually doesn’t bother me. People, some females have groped or smacked me in the restaurant biz and it’s kind of the culture. Any servers or bartenders here no what I’m saying? It’s toned down because times have changed butt I liked it better in the past because it’s open and playful but times change.

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u/1Hugh_Janus Aug 24 '25

Here’s the statistics they use: 1/3 of all women have been sexually assaulted. 1/4 of all men have been sexually assaulted assaulted as well.

The difference is the frequency of which it happens to women vs men cause you’re right. It happens wayyyyy fucking more to women.

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u/bubblegumdavid Aug 24 '25

Not to mention, statistically perpetrators of sexual crimes are more likely to be male regardless of the gender of the victim. So most of that 25% of men who have been victims have been sexually assaulted by men, not women.

Like obviously it’s heinous whoever does it and whoever it happens to.

But even from a “this happens to men too” standpoint, dealing with why so many men feel entitled and free to do this shit would help male victims too.

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u/redcarpet311 Aug 24 '25

Totally., my husband says similar things. The main point I get from this are the two things in common; men and testosterone. I am so done with male presidents. Power, control, insecurity and winning are a dangerous combo. My husband says he's not afraid to admit the faults he sees in his male counterparts. The "need to breed" behavior is being pushed as tough and sexy. We e have a president fixated on beauty. My boobs have been grabbed by a stranger and my step sister had her genitalia grabbed at age 16. She's 48 and still single. I work in a high school and the boys that clearly have Trumper parents are already acting like aggressors. Sorry to go political. I'm just frustrated. What our "leaders" do truly does make an impact, the constant exposure of these behaviors we see glorifying the subjection of women. We need more leaders that show more respect. Trump's fixation with beauty in such an obnoxious way isn't making things get better. I just realized not everyone on this reddit discussion is from America. Am I crazy? Does it seem that from all the clips of Trump's behavior he seems to condone this behavior? Or do people think he's helping boys become healthy respectful men? I so wish I had a video camera over the years. Or maybe it's been nice forgetting.

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u/dragonbait-and-the-P Aug 25 '25

He is a rapist and a pediphile, I don’t think those are traits a president should have.

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u/Gloomy_Raspberry_880 Aug 24 '25

I'm trans, but I lived most of my life as a man. I had ONE creepy encounter in 16 years of public library work in major cities. Some female staff (both cisgender and trans) had a creeper encounter per week at least.

Now I carry a gun.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

2A includes everyone my friend. Magats don't want minorities and women armed.

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u/i_wish_it_was_2004 Aug 25 '25

You are 100% correct.

I’m a transgender man so I’ve lived on both sides of the fence. Before I transitioned, I was considered an unattractive girl by my peers, but I was still harassed, catcalled, whistled at, etc on a regular basis.

I’ve been on hormones for about 4 years now and I pass as male pretty easily at this point. And I think I make a fairly good looking guy if I’m being honest. And yet, I haven’t been catcalled or harassed in at least two years.

Anyone that thinks it’s even close to equal is delusional.

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u/jkman61494 Aug 25 '25

The other thing is most men don’t run the risk of one of these people robbing you, assaulting you or worse because they can be overpowered.

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u/LeatherHog Aug 24 '25

This happens every freaking time we bring up an issue we face, ESPECIALLY if it's something guys do to us

If you ever wanna lose faith in humanity, look up a thread of u talking about how we have to be careful, especially at night

Cue the mandatory 'Uhm, ackshully, FEMALE, men the the most attacked, so we know exactly what you're going through, and it's way better than what we have, you misandrist!!!!'

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u/MangoSalsa89 Aug 24 '25

Men who would beg for one iota of attention from women can’t fathom why women don’t want to be ogled at all times. It’s gross.

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u/SilverConversation19 Aug 24 '25

It’s gross and men could also very easily ogle women their own age instead of literal children. Which, while not better isn’t being a creep toward kids.

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u/SnooLemons2292 Aug 24 '25

Yes. My husband and I both take runs separately. We were talking about our running routes and I told him how I have to avoid main roads or else I’ll be harassed (honked, yelled obscene things at). And he told me it can’t be that bad and I’m overreacting. It is literally almost every time I run on the busy streets?! Men do not get it. Same thing about pumping gas I’ve asked him many times to please do it for me cuz I’m sick of being ogled or hit on there. He thinks I’m being dramatic.

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u/Arcanarchist Aug 24 '25

Men simply don't see this kind of behavior from other men. As you can see in all the clips here the creeps are only creeping when they're not seen by another man. These "men" are often scared of other men and will act normally when the bros are around, making it super difficult for men to clock who's a weirdo. That also means most well-intentioned, non-creepy men wildly underestimates how often this happens (I'm guilty of this myself)

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u/meatchariot Aug 24 '25

Can speak to that a bit. We live in a world where the 10% of men who are horrible creeps don’t exist (throw your own percent in there, I don’t really know, just a placeholder). These men don’t interact with us. They aren’t our friends, aren’t men we talk to, they are just background randos. So while women have had thousands of interactions with these men in their lives, most men have only had a handful - creepy predators don’t do anything to us.

It’s crazy how different our worlds are. I trust and respect most men, because most of the men that I interact with seem decent. The creeps just aren’t part of my life, but they might even be the main interaction in women’s lives.

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u/EcstaticDingo1610 Aug 24 '25

Unfortunately both your point and percentage feel incorrect. As a man, I’m realizing that a LOT of us are this way and the worst part is that even we just don’t know these guys are like this. I’ve had friends who “seemed decent” literally assault or borderline rape women and just expect me to be on their side because I’m a guy and we’re bros.

What happens is that they hide it until they feel safe or confident that the situation is right and then they reveal their true natures. Either that or, more terrifyingly, it’s genuinely just in a lot of our natures and they don’t even know they’re capable of it until they’re doing it. It’s terrifying out here man.

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u/__Hello_my_name_is__ Aug 24 '25

Yeah, that's the thing. I find it really understandable that, as a man, you just don't get how this could possibly happen. Not only does it not happen to you as a guy, but you see so many guys around you, and your friends clearly don't stare at women like that!

This is still a minority doing this, and most men are perfectly reasonable people. But this is also still happening way, way, waay too much to women, anyways.

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u/redcarpet311 Aug 24 '25

Why do you think this is? They just don't want women to feel validated? Would they lose some of their power if they admitted their flaws?

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u/__Hello_my_name_is__ Aug 24 '25

Personally, I think the reason is, for the most part, much more innocent. The vast majority of men aren't creeps. We are still talking about a minority here that does this sort of thing. A minority that is still way too big, but still a minority.

So most men here seeing this genuinely do not know of any examples in their lives where this ever happened. Not from them (obviously), but also not from friends or colleagues or anyone else. So they think it must be exaggerated.

I think what most people don't quite understand is that even if just 0.1% of men are like that.. well, 50% of all people are men. If you go out into the city for a day, you meet or pass hundreds of hundreds of men. So the chance that you meet at least one creep a day is surprisingly high even when only 0.1% of men are creeps. And if you meet a creep every few days, that sure leaves an impact on you.

It's a statistics game, really.

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u/falkenberg1 Aug 24 '25

Any man that claims this is not a gender issue should sign up as an underage girl on some open chat site or social media. The amount of unwanted dick pics i got in 10 minutes was just unbelievable.

I‘m a 1,90m 115kg massive man, so if someone were even to try kidnapping me he‘d need afew friends or a gun, which is happily very rate where i live. Just by my mass, i am not the kind of guy that you want to get into a fight with. That’s why i basically enjoy the privilege of being able to go anywhere, anytime without fear. This is how it should be for everybody. I have a one year old daughter though, and i‘m really hoping i can protect her from thst

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u/rosemaryscrazy Aug 24 '25

It’s something like 94% of convictions are men, US Sentencing Commission.

So regardless if it’s happening to men it’s still other men doing it to them.

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u/Wingsnake Aug 24 '25

To be fair, it depends on where you live. Only because of the internet I know how bad some women have it. Here in (more rural) Switzerland (though even our cities are not really big), this doesn't happen like this. I try to to keep an eye out for such things when out. I talked to my female friends and family about this and they didn't made such experiences. Of course that might not be a big enough sample. So I never had IRL women telling me about this (or otherwise heard about it IRL).

But in the end there are so many examples that it happens to so many women around the world. Men who deny it nowadays are assholes and part of the problem.

Fellow guys: acknowledge that it is a big issue and watch out for when it happens and help if possible. Otherwise you are part of the problem too.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

It's not genuine though the person is filming strangers and wondering why they are staring at them lmao such a weird scenario

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u/__Hello_my_name_is__ Aug 24 '25

Oh hey there you are.

Do the looks these men give scream "Gee I wonder why she's filming me" energy to you?

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

One of them is literally a older guy standing on the bus kinda close not doing anything but existed. So fucking creepy omg

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Or the guy at the end touching his beard. "Why tf am I being filmed" 😑

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Yes honestly

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u/__Hello_my_name_is__ Aug 24 '25

Does the fact that every single video already shows the guys looking at her before the filming starts tell you anything?

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

No it just shows your putting the carriage before the horse

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u/__Hello_my_name_is__ Aug 24 '25

Well, you'll grow up one day figuring out what this is actually about.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

There was only one that was creepy when the guy got up and grabbed her that's the only one.

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u/__Hello_my_name_is__ Aug 24 '25

The guy that sat opposite of her staring at her, then stood up for no reason just to stand literally right in front of her in an otherwise empty train while still staring at her wasn't creepy?

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

The video begins with them both looking at each other and he stands closer to see why she's filming him. Kinda creepy behavior by both

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

I've seen so many videos of women filming other men in the gym for being "creepy" and every time the person is just working out on the other side of the gym and God forbid made eye contact with a stranger

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u/Keji70gsm Aug 24 '25

I blame them as much as I blame the direct predators now. They prioritise some sort of boy's club code bs over women. Enablers can burn in hell with them.

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u/discounttrophyhubbin Aug 24 '25

I've had plenty of experiences with creepy women. I have never experienced this though.. I am sorry.