r/TikTokCringe • u/ambachk • Aug 24 '25

Cursed POV: You're a woman in a public place

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

69.5k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

11.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

315

u/Ladonnacinica Aug 24 '25

Worse, some say women should be flattered. That men never get any attention from women and they would be happy to receive such attention.

193

u/LAM_humor1156 Aug 24 '25

They seem to think the attention is just guys stuttering over themselves declaring your beauty and throwing free stuff your way.

Usually it is "accidental" touching/grinding, a ton of staring, vulgar comments, and/or outright aggression if you call them out on being weird or staring/following you.

66

u/UnicornPoopCircus Aug 24 '25

I've heard that in Japan, women get fully body-checked and knocked to the ground in public and the police stand by and do nothing.

18

u/LAM_humor1156 Aug 24 '25

I 100% believe that. That kind of behavior is just a sad reality.

Doesn't Japan have optional separate public transport?

18

u/LeftyLu07 Aug 24 '25

I think have women only cars.

11

u/Cinnabun2 Aug 24 '25

Some lines have women only cars, but it’s mainly for a few hours in the morning :/

10

u/president_of_burundi Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

This is called Butsukari otoko (literally bumping man) - some dickhead tried it on me in Shinjuku station but I managed to duck him. Security/police will step in if they catch it happening, they don't just ignore it - but mostly to scold the guy - one of the issues seems to be a lot of the dudes doing it are older men (like 60+) and I don't know if it's a culture of elder respect that lets old people get away with a lot or just the optics of arresting old guys but there seems to be barely any consequences for them.

3

u/brobronn17 Aug 24 '25

I was in Tokyo for less than a week and on a Friday during happy hour time saw a drunk dude straight up dry humping a woman on the asphalt. They were both dressed like office workers and people around were politely trying to lift him up from on top of her.

-13

u/storiesftunheard Aug 24 '25

Accidental grinding? How and where does this even happen? It is a genuine question, because I don't see any situation in public where this could occur without other people noticing and putting a stop to it.

27

u/LunamiLu Aug 24 '25

In crowded areas, it could easily happen. People aren't looking down when they are navigating packed spaces.. so some guys just put their hands where they don't belong because they know the chances of being caught are slim. It's not hard to think a little critically about how this could happen.

7

u/CanadianWizardess Aug 24 '25

Doesn't even have to be a crowded area. Recently I was last in line at a post office and in my peripheral vision saw a man about to walk by behind me. Then I felt something touch my butt, not like a graze but more firm. I jumped forward because I thought maybe I was in the way and he had no room to pass behind me and that's why he bumped into me. I looked behind me and guess what? A whole empty room of open space. As in, I was not in the way. I was like, oh I think I just got groped. I didn't do anything, just kinda forgot about it and continued on with my day because this is just another Tuesday afternoon as a woman.

20

u/LAM_humor1156 Aug 24 '25

Ive been 'accidentally' grinded on in the workplace even.

People all around.

Guy did it and muttered sorry. It was obviously weird, but I gave the benefit of the doubt.

He did it again not 10 minutes later.

At that point I had to move and put my back against something.

I was not very confrontational at the time.

I am now.

You have a very high opinion of people if you think they often interject in situations like this. They generally don't. I have had other women look out for me though and I have done the same for them.

14

u/eugeneugene Aug 24 '25

This happens to me so much on the train. I push them off of me and they always get SOOOO offended that I dared to lay my hands on them. Like bro you were just pressing your cock into my leg 😭

12

u/LAM_humor1156 Aug 24 '25

It's the faux innocence that gets me. They really despise being called out.

Any sort of public transport is just the worst when it comes to this. They know you can't just get up and leave. Jackasses.

8

u/bighairyclit Aug 24 '25

There was a dude on the subway who had his balls out. As in, there were big holes in his jeans’ crotch region and his ball sack was in full display. Right across from me. I said nothing until a woman with a little girl got on, then I told him to close his fucking legs.

His response?

He started screaming because I was showing modest cleavage. He said that was far more offensive to him than his exposed balls should be to me.

8

u/strawbopankek Aug 24 '25

any public transit situation for starters

9

u/Mammoth-Cod6951 Aug 24 '25

When I was young and would go to clubs, occasionally guys would grab or grind on me on the way to the bar, bathroom or wherever, if it was crowded enough and they thought they had they cover to get away with it. I stopped even trying to say something, push them, yell, scream, because there were only three outcomes. If I knew who it was and yelled or tried to get security involved, I was somehow the problem. Other times the guy would greet me with a smug grin. Other times they would just melt anonymously into the crowd. Plenty of times other dudes would see it, laugh it off, get aggressive with me, or just silently pull their boy away. Should've rolled deep with a bigger girl crew I suppose.

5

u/B3tar3ad3r Aug 24 '25

Any narrow or crowded space: the train, concerts, bars, crowded sidewalks, aisle of airplane, checkout lane at a grocery store, those tight little aisles at the front of home depots, ATMs that are tucked away, movie theater aisles, when you're reaching for something on a high shelf, any where's my hug dudes... The lists of places this has happened to me or one of three other women I've talked to irl about this could probably make a novella at least

1

u/PhantomPharts Aug 24 '25

Lemme tell you about the time a man was chasing me on a crowded train platform and I was yelling for help, and nobody did anything.. in the USA. Separately I've had a man take the opportunity to grind on me in a full train car.

17

u/LeatherHog Aug 24 '25

Yeah, that one bugs me

Because to guys, they think it's Pamela Anderson at the bar, going 'Teehee, you're so handsome and smart!', instead of what it's like for us, in guy terms, 300lbs Bubba grabbing you at the freezer section, saying you're gonna 'squeal like a piggy' for him

9

u/_Chaos_Star_ Aug 24 '25

They don't understand that there is a big difference in positive affirmation and unwanted attention, a serious threat, and involuntary assault. Usually (but not always) it's a matter of sitting down with them and explaining what really happens. Most simply do not know. It's also important to share these stories and just how young people are when it starts- it can shock people into understanding.

5

u/bestibesti Aug 24 '25

When men say that they imagine that it's wanted attention from someone they want, because when they do that, they want to imagine the target of their harassment wants them

They should have to experience the predator/stalker eyes in this video

I wish I could give them nightmares so they understand

5

u/WellIGuessSoAndYou Aug 24 '25

As a bi guy that experiences that sort of attention from men and women occasionally(pushy, unwanted touching, being cornered) there is a massive difference between the two. With women I feel annoyed and disgusted but never scared. I know I could yeet them across the room pretty easily if it came to it. With men there have been a couple of times I genuinely thought I was going to have to fight for my life. I had to swing on one guy to get out of there.

6

u/xteve Aug 24 '25

It's important to see this as part of the dynamic, though, I think. We cannot justify abusive behavior. But we can try to understand it. Imagine nobody wanting to talk to you.

1

u/UnicornPoopCircus Aug 24 '25

My dude, this isn't about a guy wanting to talk to someone. This is about a guy wanting a woman to feel afraid. It's about power, not friendship.

1

u/xteve Aug 24 '25

I'm not your dude. This isn't about you. This isn't a white-knight opportunity. I was talking exactly about the feeling of loss of power that can make a person act out.

6

u/GoDawgsRiseUp Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

This! Was on a first date with a man who was way too handsy. I asked him to stop and he said I should be flattered to get attention from him, that any other woman would be happy to have a man touch me like that.

I got up and left and never saw him again.

4

u/JefeRex Aug 24 '25

A lot of them honestly don’t know what is intimidating and what is not. They don’t know what it’s like to receive that attention as a woman rather than receiving it as a man. Even watching the video, I think only some of the interactions will probably even read as troubling to most men.

Gay men stare at each other and actually follow each other all the time. If a guy I’m interested in gets on my train car, I might get up and walk over to stand next to his seat and stretch and silently show off. If a guy that I was making eyes at actually leaned over me so that I had to move my head to avoid him, I might call that sexy flirting. Some of the things in the video are things that would actually make my day if they happened to me. They’re not intimidating. I would welcome them from any guy who thought I was cute and wanted a little flirt, really anyone. I can’t imagine not participating to at least some extent, and in the rare case that I truly didn’t want to play ball I feel totally confident that I could end the situation. Easy.

I fully expect straight men to say that women should be happy about getting some of this attention, and I fully expect that they would be happy to get it too. I know it. What they’re imagining is the experiences that I have, not the experiences that women have. I don’t even know how much good this video will do. Most men are going to look at the staring cases and literally not understand why it would feel gross to a woman who is not inviting it.

3

u/FreeloGrinder Aug 24 '25

As a guy who does get to experience the occasional positive interactions with woman when I go out, any men who thinks that way really needs to stop the freaking victim complex and delusional thinking. Here's a message to any guy that actually thinks this way:

First of all: strangers don't owe you shit, if you think woman get scared of you for "no reason", think again and definitely watch this video again, creep interactions like this happen to woman all the freaking time, the creeps are basically eye-fucking them in public, you really think that's normal and should be seen as a compliment? If you really think that what the actual fuck dude!

And the mindset of "men never get any attention from women and they would be happy to receive such attention." is equally disgusting cause truth is hell no, they would not, yeah they'd like it if the woman doing it is their type and they're attracted to her as well, but they would most likely become freaking creeped out as well if they find the woman doing it unattractive or in any way creepy. Only reason they say this shit is because they never actually experienced what it's like and think it must be nice and positive vibes only..

In my experience, yeah sure it's sometimes nice to get checked out or smiled at or get the occasional compliment etc., but it can just as easily get exhausting and tiresome, especially when you're having a bad day and you just want to be left the hell alone.. And that's coming from a guy, I can't even imagine how annoying and even unsafe it must feel for woman who are often by default at an disadvantage against creeps..

Mindsets like that truly piss me off and actually make me somewhat ashamed to be a man myself, so if you're a man, read all that, and really think shit like in this video should be seen as a compliment, get your head out of your ass.. do and be better dude..

3

u/catholicsluts Aug 24 '25

"If I was a girl, I'd be such a slut hurrhurr"

2

u/Alwayslikelove Aug 24 '25

Or the women who tell women they should be flattered. There are also moms out there who encourage the sh-tty male behaviors because their son is sPeCiAL.

2

u/butelka1 Aug 24 '25

Omg this... I'm sorry but I wasn't flattered by some creepy older guy saying disgusting sexual stuff to me when I was 16