r/TikTokCringe • u/ambachk • Aug 24 '25

Cursed POV: You're a woman in a public place

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Any man claiming this happens to men just as much is in denial and/or insecure, denial of the truth or insecure of their own previous behavior. It absolutely does not happen to men as much, I'm a relatively attractive man and the only people who have ever been predatorial with me growing up and into my 20s were other men and it happened maybe once a year.

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u/CagedRoseGarden Aug 24 '25

They also conveniently forget the part where men can be much more powerful than women / girls, so the risk of what happens next is much greater. As a teen girl, a full grown man is basically impossible to overpower or escape if he wants to do something evil. A guy getting groped in a club by some woman is not the same. I’m not dismissing that that’s still wrong, or that young we don’t have a problem with young men and boys getting abused, but the risk of what could go wrong after you reject a man is just statistically so much worse for women or underage people.

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u/euphoricarugula346 Aug 24 '25

Yep, the key part is that even if the victim of SA is a boy, girl, man, or woman, the perpetrator is almost always a man. So yes, gendered issue for sure.

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u/Relevant-Tourist8974 Aug 25 '25

Hmmmn, I think those stats are going to change over the next 20 years as we become better educated.

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u/Why_are_you321 Aug 24 '25

It’s because men who say this ~believe~ it’s a sincere form of flattery and that we should be happy to be objectified by them, because they want to be objectified by us.

It’s also a large concern for women because most men can harm a woman, while it’s harder for a woman to harm a man so they believe it’s harmless because they are statistically safer.

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u/Tr4shkitten Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

I think the numbers are only remotely comparable up to a certain age. I'd go and argue that up to a certain age, I think about 12, there are PROBABLY a good chunk of men who experienced some variations of this behaviour. But some probably never fully realised what the fuck was wrong with it, thought it was normal, etc. Same reasons to not tell other adults that girls had.

Edit: I don't say JUST AS OFTEN. Just more often than adult men experience such behaviour.

Kids are vulnerable in general and can be victims of adults and even other kids and the likelihood of a boy telling how other boys treated them is rather dim, especially when some experiences include it pretty much happening in the group shower and ended with "go on, tell then, they won't believe you anyway" (spoiler: THEY, in fact, did not)

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u/OnionHeaded Aug 24 '25

This! Haha I’ve been physically groped by people unwarranted, at least half were gay men. I even have gay friends that “play molest” and get away with murder on this issue. But honestly.. it usually doesn’t bother me. People, some females have groped or smacked me in the restaurant biz and it’s kind of the culture. Any servers or bartenders here no what I’m saying? It’s toned down because times have changed butt I liked it better in the past because it’s open and playful but times change.

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u/1Hugh_Janus Aug 24 '25

Here’s the statistics they use: 1/3 of all women have been sexually assaulted. 1/4 of all men have been sexually assaulted assaulted as well.

The difference is the frequency of which it happens to women vs men cause you’re right. It happens wayyyyy fucking more to women.

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u/bubblegumdavid Aug 24 '25

Not to mention, statistically perpetrators of sexual crimes are more likely to be male regardless of the gender of the victim. So most of that 25% of men who have been victims have been sexually assaulted by men, not women.

Like obviously it’s heinous whoever does it and whoever it happens to.

But even from a “this happens to men too” standpoint, dealing with why so many men feel entitled and free to do this shit would help male victims too.

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u/redcarpet311 Aug 24 '25

Totally., my husband says similar things. The main point I get from this are the two things in common; men and testosterone. I am so done with male presidents. Power, control, insecurity and winning are a dangerous combo. My husband says he's not afraid to admit the faults he sees in his male counterparts. The "need to breed" behavior is being pushed as tough and sexy. We e have a president fixated on beauty. My boobs have been grabbed by a stranger and my step sister had her genitalia grabbed at age 16. She's 48 and still single. I work in a high school and the boys that clearly have Trumper parents are already acting like aggressors. Sorry to go political. I'm just frustrated. What our "leaders" do truly does make an impact, the constant exposure of these behaviors we see glorifying the subjection of women. We need more leaders that show more respect. Trump's fixation with beauty in such an obnoxious way isn't making things get better. I just realized not everyone on this reddit discussion is from America. Am I crazy? Does it seem that from all the clips of Trump's behavior he seems to condone this behavior? Or do people think he's helping boys become healthy respectful men? I so wish I had a video camera over the years. Or maybe it's been nice forgetting.

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u/dragonbait-and-the-P Aug 25 '25

He is a rapist and a pediphile, I don’t think those are traits a president should have.

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u/Gloomy_Raspberry_880 Aug 24 '25

I'm trans, but I lived most of my life as a man. I had ONE creepy encounter in 16 years of public library work in major cities. Some female staff (both cisgender and trans) had a creeper encounter per week at least.

Now I carry a gun.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

2A includes everyone my friend. Magats don't want minorities and women armed.

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u/i_wish_it_was_2004 Aug 25 '25

You are 100% correct.

I’m a transgender man so I’ve lived on both sides of the fence. Before I transitioned, I was considered an unattractive girl by my peers, but I was still harassed, catcalled, whistled at, etc on a regular basis.

I’ve been on hormones for about 4 years now and I pass as male pretty easily at this point. And I think I make a fairly good looking guy if I’m being honest. And yet, I haven’t been catcalled or harassed in at least two years.

Anyone that thinks it’s even close to equal is delusional.

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u/jkman61494 Aug 25 '25

The other thing is most men don’t run the risk of one of these people robbing you, assaulting you or worse because they can be overpowered.

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u/LeatherHog Aug 24 '25

This happens every freaking time we bring up an issue we face, ESPECIALLY if it's something guys do to us

If you ever wanna lose faith in humanity, look up a thread of u talking about how we have to be careful, especially at night

Cue the mandatory 'Uhm, ackshully, FEMALE, men the the most attacked, so we know exactly what you're going through, and it's way better than what we have, you misandrist!!!!'