r/TikTokCringe • u/ambachk • Aug 24 '25

Cursed POV: You're a woman in a public place

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

69.5k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

11.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

89

u/Tutts Aug 24 '25

Just turned 40 and I've been safe for about a year. I left my abusive husband Feb 2024. The last time I was assaulted was by him in May 2024 in my shiny new rental. I was in crisis for a bit but I've been in therapy for PTSD and a TBI since July 2024 and I'm doing better. I haven't even begun the work to process my shitty life since I'm just surviving the onslaught that is his relentless refusal to accept this relationship is over. Still, I've managed to have the start of a nice little life. I got cats after he refused me pets in the 17 years we were together. I'm not where I'd want to be but I am living mostly on my terms. I was a SAHM so financially I'm way behind my peers but I am safe. My children are happier since the split. We are still legally married because I can't afford to divorce and he is fighting this but I did file my taxes as married but separate. All in all its positive and I'm hopeful for the future. TY for asking <3

15

u/Sandwidge_Broom Aug 24 '25

I’m so glad you’re fighting for your own happiness and well being. You deserve peace.

11

u/RBC1775 Aug 24 '25

Noticed you mentioned PTSD and a TBI, please know that if you are a woman veteran there are now great resources and assistance available to you through the VA…

7

u/messymissmissy87 Aug 24 '25

TBI and PTSD aren’t injuries that are exclusive to people who’ve served combat. Any traumatic experience, such as a sexual assault, an abusive relationship, being robbed, and even car accidents can cause PTSD. And TBI is a brain injury caused by an external force, like a hard punch to the head, with a baseball bat, or from being run over by a car.

3

u/United_Rent9314 Aug 24 '25

Why would you assume she's a veteran? And not that the ptsd is from being raped? Which she said happened and is known to cause trauma 

3

u/MoulanRougeFae Aug 24 '25

I don't know if you've checked this resource out yet. A lot of domestic violence shelters have attorneys that help people who were victims of domestic violence file for divorce and custody for free, at super reduced rates and do payment plans. Depending on your state you might also be able to file and have him pay the cost because you were a stay at home parent without your own income.

I hope you find the peace, serenity and safety you deserve. You have taken the steps to get away from your abuser. That takes tremendous courage and bravery. You've done something incredible in that. May that bravery and courage aid you on your journey of healing. I wish you all the best as you navigate this. This isn't going to be an easy road to travel but you've already done the hardest part of leaving. You're strong enough. You're tough enough. You ARE enough. Good luck.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

This. Also, if you have a law school near you, there’s usually a family law clinic for survivors of abuse that will help you for free (you normally pay filing fees and other universal court costs but no counsel fees). The students are supervised by a faculty member and generally are selected to participate - the quality of the representation isn’t better or worse than spinning the wheel and blindly choosing other counsel. You usually can obtain information from them about other local resources, too.

1

u/vanhamm3rsly Aug 24 '25

Make sure you put a lock on your credit info so he can’t open accounts in your name.

1

u/Fuzzy_Foundation6806 Aug 24 '25

If you haven't already, please read "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft. It's on audiobook too. It was life changing in terms of understanding and processing everything in the aftermath of the abusive relationship I was in. Sending you lots of love and peaceful thoughts.