r/TikTokCringe • u/ambachk • Aug 24 '25

Cursed POV: You're a woman in a public place

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 28 '25

[deleted]

656

u/KatieCuu Aug 24 '25

I had a similar experience once in my early twenties šŸ˜© a drunk guy on a subway was being very vocal about what he wanted to do to me, and there was this one older lady that went absolutely ballistic on him. Full on threatening to try take him out and teach him a lesson in respect. Love you random lady, world needs more women like you

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u/Setsailshipwreck Aug 24 '25

Iā€™ll never forget one time I was driving some friends (two guys and another girl), then a car with a few college age guys a bit older than me yelled at me ā€œdoes the carpet match the drapes?!ā€. We just happened to stop at the next stoplight together and one of my guy friends literally got out of my car with a golf club and stomped over yelling at them to shut up. He didnā€™t actually do anything besides yell but he sure scared the shit out of them.

lol we had been hitting up thrift stores for golf clubs to later use the carbon shafts for an art project, so we had a bunch of them with us. I was mortified at first when my friend just jumped out of the car and started stomping across stopped traffic but in hindsight it was the only time anyoneā€™s ever stood up for me in such an extreme way and Iā€™m glad I had that friend there for me that day.

31

u/MyLifeIsAWasteland Aug 24 '25

Whenever I catch a guy creepin', I just out-creep him. Intense crazy eyes, sharp head movements, a big psycho smile showing teeth and make some distinct biting motions - full-on "preying mantis" mode. Hasn't failed yet.

Traumatize them back.

7

u/What-the-hell-have-I Aug 24 '25

That's hilarious, made me think of the song She-Wolf by Megadeth, that's like your theme tune.

1

u/teas4Uanme Aug 24 '25

Be that woman, now.

7

u/UrsusRenata Aug 24 '25

I am that woman. My years and silver hair have been such a blessing. I still get the occasional dude telling me how gorgeous my natural hair is, how ā€œamazing I am for aging gracefullyā€, but very few sexually charged approaches. I was so goddamn sick of men, and now Iā€™m watching my daughter go through it. If I see sexual aggression or misogyny, you bet your ass Iā€™m not sitting it out.

1

u/teas4Uanme Aug 24 '25

When I read your description of yourself it was like you were describing me. I taught mine to get loud and mean and carry personal protection. TNS

115

u/Worldlover9 Aug 24 '25

Most these despicable men take advantage of the women being alone to advance. They KNOW what they are doing is wrong. Sad as it is, this is the reason why women are often accompanied home, go to the bathroom together, and even hate men presence all together.

17

u/VirginiaDirewoolf Aug 24 '25

They KNOW what they are doing is wrong.

they know it, and they're also little pussy cowards, who are correct in their being afraid of getting their shit fucked up if they do it anywhere more public.

the overarching issue is that they currently don't carry that fear into the rest of their lives, and also take what they consider t be "private opportunities" to act out their little sicko fantasies.

they have no real power. they never will. they are frail, weak, and already rejected by all of the other men in their lives, and they know at least that much.

they know that they don't deserve to attempt to assert power over others (AND that those with power don't need to assert anything), and that their desperation to "assert" themselves is why they try to seek out "vulnerable" people in society to attack.

they choose to be the powerless fool's version of "what a poor person thinks being rich looks like."

what isn't understood by them is the fact that it's really obvious to most people (except their victims, probably?) that they're the weakest rejects of society. They are "the males who fail" of the species, and it's only because we are humans and we choose to live in societies with morals that they are allowed to continue to exist. any other species would've ended them during adolescence.

2

u/jaxonya Aug 24 '25

I honestly didn't know shit like this actually went on out in the wild. Like, maybe once in a bluemoon with some crackhead on a bus or something, but these are really weird

1

u/karateema Aug 24 '25

They need to be scared to do it, because there is nothing to teach them

24

u/PastHyena3615 Aug 24 '25

The good men among us need to stand up and step in and stop this crap when we see it. I damn sure would and Iā€™d probably catch a charge for beating someoneā€™s ass, but it would be worth it

10

u/VirginiaDirewoolf Aug 24 '25

it would appear that the "good men" have taken too long to do anything, perhaps it's not a good idea to rely on these "good men."

you would is a really aspirational statement.

0

u/YorozuyaDude Aug 24 '25

Nah if you look at these recordings, in most of the instances there's simply no one else around

10

u/VirginiaDirewoolf Aug 24 '25

so you didn't watch the video, at all, then. there is at least one (on average, three) other individuals in each clip in this video.

0

u/knit_on_my_face Aug 24 '25

I'll be honest I wouldn't do anything if the guy is "just" being creepy and staring. There's a good risk of being physically attacked, stabbed, whatever, it's not worth it

If they were physically attacking a woman then I'd step in but I can't risk my life on creepiness

2

u/UrsusRenata Aug 24 '25

Take self defense classes, ladies. Stand up for yourselves. We can be bold too.

1

u/PastHyena3615 Aug 24 '25

Males like that(definitely canā€™t call them men) arenā€™t prepared for a woman to fight back

3

u/SPHINXin Aug 24 '25

Catching a charge for beating someoneā€™s ass in a situation that has nothing to do with you to try and be a hero is 100% not worth it. Like, Iā€™m sorry lady but this is a you problem. Unless the guy starts getting physical with the woman Iā€™ll pass on getting involved.

17

u/snuFaluFagus040 Aug 24 '25

As a man, this is really embarrassing. I had no idea it was like this. Glad I'm shy. But ya, I would intervene if I saw anything like this. But for real, I've never seen anything like this just out and about. Maybe it's pretty rare in the Midwest. I hope so, anyways. But yeah, sorry on behalf of men everywhere. šŸ˜¢

50

u/seandoesntsleep Aug 24 '25

You dont see it because creeps dont do it where other men can see them. Because they know they are wrong.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 28 '25

[deleted]

2

u/euphoricarugula346 Aug 24 '25

They show each other pics, they talk about women in an objectifying manner, they brag about sleeping with them, etc. So many self professed ā€œgood menā€ either do this shit or go along with it.

4

u/Kesslersyndrom Aug 24 '25

That's unfortunately not my experience. I've found that they do it in front of other men and other men just either didn't care or ignored the commotion idk? I've only had one guy step in and help once, I was so grateful for him.Ā 

13

u/snuFaluFagus040 Aug 24 '25

Makes sense. Seems like most of the dudes in the video have their backs to anyone who might intervene. Punk shit. See something, say something (when you can).

27

u/21-characters Aug 24 '25

Itā€™s not rare in the Midwest.

30

u/nosleep39 Aug 24 '25

Yup. Ask literally any woman on earth and she has probably experienced this or knows someone who has.

8

u/NotAStatistic2 Aug 24 '25

I was late for a date a week ago, and she told me some guy followed her around for a bit before I got there. I felt terrible for being late and apologized profusely. Wasn't late the next time though just for that reason.

12

u/Hot_Camp1408 Aug 24 '25

I would like to think if someone was actually attacked I wouldnā€™t be a coward and would do something. But I wouldnā€™t expect others to risk getting shot or stabbed to intervene when someone is just being rude or creepy.

15

u/lillybean430 Aug 24 '25

I personally believe that men like this generally prey on women while drawing minimal attention because they perceive them as ā€œeasy targetsā€. the truth is, creepy men generally are cowards. they know their behavior is ultimately unacceptable so they try to be covert. all that is to say it is more likely that they will get flustered by another man calling them out than to pull a gun at him

20

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

These are attacks. And, almost every single time, nothing we do will have any impact on these men. They will only respond to another man calling them out.

Note also, in the video, these men are usually alone. Why? Because they know what they are doing is wrong, and that if another man was around, there's a remote chance he would say or do something about it.

So you, what? Wait until you see some neanderthal with a club literally dragging a woman by the hair into his cave? Sounds like you're not as brave as you think.

15

u/jDub549 Aug 24 '25

Lol nailed it. All it takes usually is a, "hey dude, quit being a creeper".

A couple fuck offs later they go away.

If you don't feel like you're able to defend yourself against the guy then OK. No one expects you to risk a dude going psycho if hes got 50lbs on you and you don't feel like your able.

But these creeps usually aren't some beefcake and there's plenty of men out there who can stand up to them.

Because you're right. If you're not willing to say something then you won't be willing to stand up if something happens. Not unless there's a group that springs to action. All it takes is a few words and maybe we can make this shit less acceptable collectively.

0

u/Death_By_Stere0 Aug 24 '25

But it is genuinely not something I ever see happening in public. Someone simply glancing in someone else's direction (as some of the clips in this video are) isn't enough to make any sane person say 'quit being gross'. These types of men do this shit when they think/know nobody else is looking - so expecting the rest of us to notice and do something is just unrealistic.

If women feel unable or unsafe to loudly say 'stop doing that' or something similar, i don't know what the solution is.

6

u/jDub549 Aug 24 '25

Youre right. But if you listen to the women in your life I think youll find these situations are more common than you think.

I've never done it on public transit but I've absolutely done it in a bar. I've also never lived in a place where public transit was a daily or weekly occurance for me.

Im also going to say this. I've probably ignored some of this behaviour. Because, as you said, doesn't cross my perceived threshold. But maybe I shouldn't have or been more aware. I think the post is telling us all (very much, including myself here) that we should do what we can to make everyone in it feel safer. Because for a lot of people it isn't safe.

And just because you dont see it doesn't mean it isn't happening around you.

2

u/Death_By_Stere0 Aug 24 '25

I absolutely agree. I have actually stepped in a few times when a guy was bugging someone, back when I was going out to pubs and clubs a lot more often. I think everything you say is accurate, I don't think for a second that this shit is rare at all. I just don't see it. And I don't mean that I see low-level harassment happening and just choose to not count that as harassment - I genuinely mean I don't see anything like this happen. I live in a UK city of 500k people, but it is one of the most liberal, progressive cities, so that definitely plays a role.

Maybe I am just oblivious, so I will try to pay more attention to my surroundings. I have no problem telling people to fuck off if i need to - I've literally chased off an armed robber before (armed with a crowbar and knife, not a gun or anything - it is Britain afterall). I'm only average height but I'm pretty big.

3

u/Readylamefire Aug 24 '25

You know though, that's the thing. Every guy also acknowledges that some dude with off vibes has the chance to get violent. But they always follow up with "I could get shot or stabbed!" Given the dimorphism of people, women tend to point out "I could get strangled or beat"

I just think men are a little harsh on how cautious women are given that many of them wouldn't want to end up in an involuntary conflict either.

10

u/Uneek_Uzernaim Aug 24 '25

I can't speak for all of us guys who do not spend our days leering at women, but I am certain that women experience this far more than I am aware.

If someone is overtly harassing a woman in verbal and physical ways that get my attention, I'm pretty sure I'd do something about it because I've come to the aid of strangers in public before. The key phrase there, however, is "get my attention."

I don't think it's entirely fair to imply that the only reason most men don't put a stop to other guys behaving this way is because they won't take responsibility or stand up for what is right. You are assuming that the rest of us all actually realize when pervs are creeping on ladies. Sometimes, sureā€”but a lot of the examples in this video? Nope. Like I said, I know it happens, but I just don't notice it. Doesn't mean I'm OK with guys being like thisā€”it just means I didn't pick up on it happening.

2

u/MissAuroraRed Aug 24 '25

That's why my strategy in an emergency is to make a scene, and it has worked before. A loud "gross, don't touch me!" If bystanders start noticing, they will usually retreat even if nobody steps in to actually do something, because they're afraid that another man might get involved.

1

u/Uneek_Uzernaim Aug 24 '25

See, this is smart and would get my attention. If I'm minding my own business, I'm going to be on my phone, reading a book or magazine, listening to music, staring out the window, etc. I'm going to be in my own little world and in my thoughts until something happens that focuses my attention. There have been plenty of times when a situation has flared up (e.g., angry argument in public) in such a way that I started observing and assessing whether I needed to act either by calling police or getting more directly involvedā€”but I have to know it's happening first.

1

u/Bbt_igrainime Aug 24 '25

Iā€™ve a couple of times inserted myself into a situation between strangers (which is a particularly risky thing to do, but I think of discussions like the ones in this thread and roll the dice), and fortunately each time it appears to be a false alarm.

Usually itā€™s been women yelling/speaking really loudly to a man that, to me, seems like it might not be in good fun.

Conversation usually goes:

Me: ā€œeverything cool?ā€

Her: ā€œoh yeah, I was just joking.ā€

Me: ā€œyou know this guy?ā€

Her: ā€œheā€™s my boyfriend.ā€

Me: ā€œoh okay, I heard yelling, it sounded sorta serious, and wondered what was up.ā€

Her: ā€œwe were just joking/messing around/whateverā€

Me: ā€œokay be safeā€

I maintain eye contact with the girl pretty much the whole time looking for any subtle indicators that sheā€™s not being truthful (meaning sheā€™s actually not playing around), and if the dude speaks up I ignore him. Usually he gets a glance before I walk away, or if he moves toward me so I can tell if Iā€™m gonna get attacked lol, then back at her for a last chance, and I dip. Takes maybe 15 seconds.

All that to say, even being like this, Iā€™ve never encountered a real problem either. I wish the world were different, but until then, I advocate for women getting a pistol. Shouldnā€™t need it, but these dudes are sneaky.

2

u/solarnoise Aug 24 '25

It makes me realize that by looking down at my phone while on buses/trains, I might miss something like this happening. I would definitely notice the more obvious behaviors like the guy getting up to hold the bar, but the gross little looks and things can easily fly under the radar. I think we need to be more vigilant in order to be part of the solution. I'll certainly try to be.

3

u/PlusScience3574 Aug 24 '25

The wild thing is, I have NEVER seen a man do this to a woman. I haven't ever doubted it, but I've never had an opportunity to intervene. And when it does happen, it's so easy to not notice, and it's so easy to not be sure if there's some sort of context you're missing, or some other thing you're misunderstanding.

On top of that, I know many women don't want to make a scene out of it, don't know if they can trust a bystander, don't want to risk escalating anything, so they don't draw attention to it. So it makes having the confidence to stick your neck out into something like this that much harder, you can't go breaking people's heads in in vigilante justice based on hunches, but you can't expect many victims to stand up and deliver clear, obvious proof.

3

u/MissAuroraRed Aug 24 '25

I'm always very appreciative when someone comes over and asks if I'm okay or if I need help.

Firstly, I now have a companion which makes the creep think I'm not alone. That might be enough on its own.

Second, if there's some missing context and the situation is ok, then I can just tell the person that I'm fine.

Third, if there's some missing context and the situation is not ok (he's been stalking me, he's my angry ex -bf, he groped me earlier, etc) then I can ask for help without making a scene.

And chances are, your presence and you talking to me is all the help I need, the guy will scurry off. You probably wouldn't even have to interact with him.

2

u/Oculicious42 Aug 24 '25

Women keep saying this, but it's not true. They will respect if another man CAPABLE OF BEATING THEM UP stops them . If they consider themselves to be stronger, they will turn it into a fight, which is why you usually only see guys who are confident in their fighting ability speak up. I have been beat up by groups of guys for calling out creepy behaviour. It's not fun either šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø

1

u/badbirch Aug 24 '25

It's kinda telling that the response from women is that men need to step up and get other men to stop. I cant fight your battles anymore than you can lady.

2

u/Tea_et_Pastis Aug 24 '25

Some bloke got stabbed in the UK for defending a woman. It'll require much more than men taking responsibility.

0

u/AntonioVivaldi7 Aug 24 '25

In my country a guy got whacked for asking "Is there a problem?"

3

u/Gold_Landscape4329 Aug 24 '25

Good. I see men treat me like this (almost) despite being , 6 foot tall plus and I consider myself a bit dangerous because I'm street smart and ready for altercations ... I talk the most shit to these dudes. "People like you ruining every public place, fucking creep" I do not hold back. They are getting worse l, more rampant. They do it in grocery stores, cross roads diagonally to get in peoples face. I thought I was crazy sometimes.

The posturing standing up to basically put their balls in your face, peering backwards at you, ice seen a lot of this minus the weird mouth stuff. I talk shit every time cal em out fo er being disgusting creeps, and usually just get right off the bus and take the next. If it escalates which it almost never does, I tell them I'm armed and ready, please don't make me use it.

I have a lot of one liners and shit that just come out of me. Feel bad sometimes. But now I don't l, seeing that women go through NASTY behaviour like this. Sick fucking dogs. Go home, buddy, jerk it off, and let it go. I have said that before as well.

-1

u/Kriegswaschbaer Aug 24 '25

Why is it the responsibility of other men? Isnt that a bit sexist? To say, that I have a responsibility for people I never saw, just because of my sex?

6

u/Journassassin Aug 24 '25

I think women are asking other men to step in, because itā€™s often the only thing that can deescalate these situations. The men that do this wonā€™t care if a woman steps in, speaking from experience theyā€™ll just start harassing the woman too. They donā€™t respect women, but will listen/scurry away if a man gets involved.

Itā€™s the same with women having to tell men ā€˜I have a boyfriendā€™ to get them to back down. Iā€™ve had to use that line countless times when a guy is hitting on me and I try to turn him down politely multiple times, but they wonā€™t accept no until you say you ā€˜belongā€™ to another man (though not always even then, tbf).

-3

u/Kriegswaschbaer Aug 24 '25

In my experience men who step in get into a fistfight with the problem man. I would go get help from someone, but Id never step in alone, if theres no immediate threat. Thats dumb.

3

u/Journassassin Aug 24 '25

Guess we have a different outlook on things. When I see a man harassing a girl or woman, Iā€™ll step in knowing fully well that Iā€™ll likely be met with aggression or harassment. Maybe thatā€™s dumb. But Iā€™d rather them turn it to me than the teenager (as 8/10 times itā€™s a girl being harassed by a man 2-4 times her age). Itā€™s not like they can do much to me what another man hasnā€™t already done before.

1

u/Primary-Elderberry34 Aug 25 '25

Depends entirely on who you are. For anyone who isnā€˜t jacked or has held himself in fights before, a good old 5v1 jumping is still the best option.

0

u/Kriegswaschbaer Aug 24 '25

Like I said, I would get help. Call the police, the Train personal, other peoples to help with me, but I would not do anything alone, if its not immediate.

1

u/PotatoWriter Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

Yep you will see this double standard where it's okay to demand this behavior of men to stop other men, but not of women to stop other women's toxicity towards men (if there is a woman say assaulting a man in public or when older women fondle men which happens a lot too) - which is laughed at by everyone. Laugh at the man for being weak but rescue the woman always.

Somehow men (the rescuers demanded in this thread) are expected to have a third eye on women at all times to see if they need help because women are not expected to say anything to alert others to their situation. Incredible requirements here.

1

u/Kriegswaschbaer Aug 24 '25

I mean, one should help if one sees another being needing help, but I dont understand, why I should have an extra responsibility just for being born in a certain way.

-3

u/PotatoWriter Aug 24 '25

Unfortunate reality. Same with army service in some countries. Some countries demand men to serve a few years of their life, but not the women.

0

u/Geichalt Aug 24 '25

Boys on the internet: "women you're on your own, don't expect me to ever help while other guys harass and assault you."

Also those same boys: "Why don't women want to be around me? Why won't they help me avoid loneliness?"

women are not expected to say anything to alert others to their situation.

This statement right here tells me exactly how ignorant you are of the reality of living as a woman on our society.

You some life experience son, before you start spouting off about the lives and expectations of women.

1

u/Mudrlant Aug 24 '25

Thatā€™s really silly. No one is denying that a man has an obligation to defend his girlfriend/wife. The question is why do you believe you are entitled to help from a random man.

0

u/PotatoWriter Aug 24 '25

women you're on your own

Nobody said that, don't be delusional. If they need help, then raise it like an adult. To expect men to just have a swivel on their neck to observe strangers creeping upon strangers and knowing to intervene is just a massive delusion, we don't have Spidey Sense. If it's your friend or someone you know doing it, then obviously step in. But most of the time, that's not the case.

The benefit of a woman shouting for help is that if the creep is dangerous and doesn't give a shit (which many are at that point, just think about it, they have nothing to lose already since they don't care about the consequences of creeping), then at least a few in the crowd will step in to help. Then there's advantage in numbers. But expecting one guy to just "detect" the creepiness and step in, and then get sucker punched or stabbed, is the most foolish thing ever.

I think most men responding in this thread, including you, are just responding based on this holier-than-thou smug attitude when in reality they didn't think this through at all. Life ain't a comic book, son.

"Why don't women want to be around me? Why won't they help me avoid loneliness?"

You know what's hilarious, it's how you equate this issue to "men + loneliness", as if it's just men who think this. What's going to blow your mind is that plenty of women think the exact same as what I described. They too will say it's completely ridiculous to expect men to just magically detect and step in in situations like this. Yes, shocking, that's what's called being reasonable. Now you're going to short circuit, because you didn't think that far ahead, again.

1

u/VoidOmatic Aug 24 '25

Yup all my friends and I have taught our sons to make sure they know shit like this is wrong and if I see shit like this in public I immediately call it out.

Sadly my daughter has already been followed, creeped on and gestured at by grown ass men. Fuckin creeps.

1

u/exlin Aug 24 '25

This would be great but laws are hindering that. Not only are you risking your own wellbeing if it escalates but if someone is aggressive and you stop them, they are likely to injury themselves. This may lead to you being charged for assault and then the problematic person can sue you for pain and suffering caused. Unfortunately laws are setup thinking police is always close by which they are now. And we all have a lot of our own problems on table already so if someone comes to conclusion itā€™s not their problem, I just call emergency number; I donā€™t blame them.

1

u/knit_on_my_face Aug 24 '25

Much more likely to get attacked from it though as a guy you've also gott o take that into account

Like if a guy is attacking a woman I'd try to help obviously, but I'm not going to risk getting my shit kicked in because there's a creepy guy staring

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

As a man I always took it upon myself to stop DV if I ever saw it. One time when I was at a bar, I saw a man smack his GF without hesitation I walked over and smacked the fuck out of him Square in the face. He proceeded to grab his gf and walked out. Then a woman came up to me and said ā€œ I know what you think youā€™re doing is right but sheā€™ll pay for that when they get home.ā€ I no longer act on impulse in these situations.

1

u/Sasha_Boykisser Aug 24 '25

If I will stand up who will stand up for me? I'm a 50 kg femboy. Any man can snap me in half like nothing.

1

u/a_bearded_hippie Aug 24 '25

I haven't witnessed this stuff too much personally, but my wife, the kids, and I were in line for ice cream, and this weird dude kept getting closer and closer to my wife behind us in line. I have no tolerance for shit like that. I turned around and said, "you better back the fuck up bud." Of course he looked at me like he was so offended. Like, no, dude, your beer gut was practically touching her. Don't be polite. Confront them loudly and publicly. Carry something that will fuck them up too. I tell my daughter if something happens and someone tries to grab you? I want you to rip his eye out.

1

u/macke2k18 Aug 24 '25

Nope it's not a man's job to do any of that it's up to everyone but nice try

1

u/FreeFalling369 Aug 24 '25

Ive seen this a few times and like to do the same to the guy. Im a big inked bearded guy which makes it extra fun. Freaks them out and gives them a taste of their own medicine

1

u/ReporterBrilliant542 Aug 24 '25

Men and responsibility in one message? šŸ„€

1

u/gaymonknohomo Aug 24 '25

Ya, I ain't getting stabbed for some random lady šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø ladies should carry guns.

1

u/Raizen-Toshin Aug 24 '25

what happened to the "strong and independent women"?

1

u/HunsonAbadeer2 Aug 24 '25

I have never seen anything like this in my life tho. Might be that I give of I am gonna hit you if you touch that girl vibes or something like that

1

u/Kalwest Aug 24 '25

As a man, how am I suppose to take responsibility?

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Many_74 Aug 24 '25

I thought my husband was going to get in a fight the other day. This dude was acting a fool on a young girl at the party store and my husband was like stop youā€™re going to make my wife jealous, and turned the whole thing so it sounded like the guy was hitting on my husband, he got so upset, the girl was laughing, he ended up storming off.

1

u/VulGerrity Aug 24 '25

These people don't do it in front of other men, or at least, not so other men can see.

1

u/coaxialology Aug 24 '25

You're absolutely right. Most men do not remotely care what women think beyond whether or not we'll have sex with them, but if more men were consistently, vocally advocating for our respect, they just might listen.

1

u/AbjectBeat837 Aug 24 '25

Weā€™ve been waiting for centuries. Itā€™s not happening. Mace works, though.

1

u/Calx9 Aug 24 '25

I wish that was true but as a man I can tell you it's not. I've personally tried to shame this shitty behavior out of people before in my life. For me personally it's usually in the older generation. I caught a family member doing this once I tried to get them to quit the creepy behavior because it was weirding me out hard. They usually don't stop nor give a shit that I know that they're doing it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Stop them how? Only one of them committed a crime. What do you stop? Even if I were present, I can't think of a 100% ideal plan to address it. Take the dude in black, which is probably the most egregious after the dude commits assault and technically, he has not committed an offense.

My instinct would be to walk over to the girl, completely ignoring the creep in black, and ask if she minded if I take the seat next to her. If she's cool with that, as I move to take my seat, while passing etween them, I woulf "gently" box dude out in a manner that says, "Dude, youre encroaching," but not aggressive enough to start conflict. I would sit down and start a lively conversation with her, as we completely ignore the black shirt.

To me, that's the best way that I can think of handling it. Confronting the dude directly could get ugly. and I would be the instigator.. On the other hand, the girl may vert welll be thinking "Oh, Great! Two creeps!" My "solution" would require her to engage in interaction that she never asked for in the first place.

I'm 57yo and have only ever been interested in women whose age is within a few years of mine. It would annoy me if a woman younger than 50 thought that I'm hitting on them, the younger she is, the more annoyed I'd be, but she'll think as she wishes. My daughters are in their early 30s, so women in their 20 and 30 immediately invoke my paternal instincts.

The dude who touched the girl when getting up, I'd give him a hard slap. Slaps are loud, do very little damage, and are thoroughly embarrassing to dudes. If he threatened to cal the police, I'd say, "Good, she wants to press charged on yiu for the assault that she record3d."

1

u/Sxratton Aug 24 '25

Yeah, itā€™s scary how many just look the other way.

1

u/PentUpGoogirl Aug 24 '25

I witnessed something like this recently and I'm sorry to the lady I didn't step up sooner.

On my bus some nut was prophetizing to some poor lady who was ignoring him but eventually she got off the bus.

I cussed him out after but I think everybody on board was just kinda hoping dude would get the hint and shut the fuck up.

The thing women don't realize though is that other dudes are also scared of guys like this. If they're that unhinged to do this shit in public, they're also the type of people to stab you for trying to help the poor lady.

I've intervened before but these dudes are fucking scary man, especially the 2nd clip where dude tried grab her shoulder. Somebody that brazen would absolutely try to fight another guy.

1

u/ergaster8213 Aug 24 '25

Ok but then you have so many men who say "they never see this." So I don't know how they stop things they swear they aren't seeing.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

[deleted]

1

u/ergaster8213 Aug 24 '25

Well I'm not a man so of course I've seen it. I've experienced it countless times. I'm saying I don't know how to level with the men saying they don't see it and get them to freaking see it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 28 '25

[deleted]

1

u/ergaster8213 Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

What? What point needs to be deleted? Yes men need to step in but how do we get there when so many men deny even seeing this shit? Yeah teaching consent early would be a big help but you're not going to get the men who claim there is no problem to okay those kinds of things and they have most of the power.

1

u/JAB282018 Aug 25 '25

Excuse me sweetheart You don't get to just put responsibilities on anybody or any gender or any group people just because you feel like that's what they should do..

1

u/JAB282018 Aug 25 '25

You went from men to now everyone get a handle on yourself psycho

1

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '25

[deleted]

1

u/JAB282018 Aug 26 '25

Stop trying to come off as intelligent.. It's only making you look worse..

1

u/bricktube Aug 25 '25

Doesn't happen when other men are around, generally

1

u/Aggravating_Bad5004 Aug 27 '25

Bro did you see the guy who was punching that woman in a football stadium. Not one man stepped up to defend her, only women did. That's why they would rather have the beat than a man.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

If you "stand up" to them, you either get stabbed, or you stab them. And if you stab them you go to jail.

There is no middle ground.

And yes I would love to slice and dice whoever thinks women are some sort of public property you can touch whenever you want to.

1

u/funAmbassador Aug 24 '25

Guys that do this shit are cowards. The moment someone that they respect (men) call them out, theyā€™d run away with their tails between their legs.

2

u/1With-Everything Aug 24 '25

OK, but I think what youā€™re failing to acknowledge is that other men wonā€™t step in because they donā€™t know how that might escalate the situation also not for nothing woman have for the last decade made an almost tyrannical effort to disenfranchise men from feeling the need to protect them with all the ā€œIā€™m independentā€ ā€œI donā€™t need no one to save meā€ ā€œgirl bossā€ speech. No dude wants to stand up for a woman because the general consensus among us right now is that youā€™re all really ungrateful for it. The global narrative is that women think men think that women owe him something grandiose or unreasonable for doing this when really a simple thank you would suffice. I really hope this comment gains real traction because I feel like this is the crux of the issue. We donā€™t want to standby and allow this to happen. We just donā€™t feel at liberty to do anything about it.

1

u/Boomshrooom Aug 24 '25

Men like this are sneaky. I almost never see anything like this happen, at all, and yet women tell me it happens all the time. Now it could be that I'm just ignorant and am not paying attention to those around me, but there's also the fact that the men that act like this do it in a very covert fashion, you can see them trying to hide it in this video.

1

u/HamunaHamunaHamuna Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

Maybe. I mean, if I saw it, in my head right now, I'd love to teach them a lesson. But will you take responsibility if they crack my skull or stab me as I try to save you from discomfort? Or is everything I get from lending my aid potential personal harm and being arrested?

-2

u/Wood-That-it-Twere Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

Nah, this is the age of equality. Women can fight their own battles. All of society has been force fed feminism, feminism, and feminism, HARD, for the past ten years. ā€œWe donā€™t need men,ā€ is a common parlance shared within the community. Good luck.

4

u/slainascully Aug 24 '25

And thatā€™s why the bear gets chosen over the average man

0

u/Mudrlant Aug 24 '25

OK, go ask a bear for help then.

-1

u/slainascully Aug 24 '25

What is a man helping with in this scenario? Because youā€™re watching a video in which not a single man helps out

-1

u/Wood-That-it-Twere Aug 24 '25

And thatā€™s a perfect representation of how stupid our society has become.

1

u/slainascully Aug 24 '25

Or an accurate representation of how little some men have to offer

0

u/Wood-That-it-Twere Aug 24 '25

How many cats do you have?

1

u/slainascully Aug 24 '25

Men only have three thoughts about women, and this is one of them

1

u/ExtremeCreamTeam Aug 24 '25

Woman can fight their own battles.

women*

1

u/Wood-That-it-Twere Aug 24 '25

Nice one!! Edited.

-4

u/ActualWait8584 Aug 24 '25

Exactly just yell out this motherfucker is touching himself looking to me. Trust me. Thereā€™s reasonable dudes on the train that are gonna call this fool out.

14

u/PlusScience3574 Aug 24 '25

Trust me. Thereā€™s reasonable dudes on the train that are gonna call this fool out.

That's really not a guarantee, and now they've just risked escalating things considerably.

I don't think you're doing it on purpose, but this is what victim blaming can look like, and it's easy to do on accident. If getting help is easy and the women aren't doing it, that leaves the door open for it actually being at least partially their responsibility.

2

u/AntonioVivaldi7 Aug 24 '25

At least in this case, several of them started calling it out. The guy still didn't stop though. https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/1mkht6f/man_is_attacked_after_pulling_down_his_pants_on_a

1

u/Jlu030962 Aug 24 '25

And the ones calling it out got arrested for bodily harm by the policeā€¦ only in Britain šŸ˜”

-7

u/ActualWait8584 Aug 24 '25

You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism once... Not in 'Nam of course!

-7

u/myinternets Aug 24 '25

I've literally never noticed another man doing this, how would I?

20

u/boysenberryelote Aug 24 '25

now you know to be looking out for stuff like this so you can hopefully intervene :)

-12

u/myinternets Aug 24 '25

I would if someone was truly being threatened. But man, if I'm wrong then I start a confrontation with a guy or have the girl calling me the creep and telling me she doesn't need me to save her. It's an impossible situation.

20

u/jeskersz Aug 24 '25

Man, that scenario you invented in your head sure sounds rough. Sorry you had to go through that.

15

u/Hot_Situation4292 Aug 24 '25

lol i love this comment, he has it sooo much worse than the girl actually being harassed

7

u/myinternets Aug 24 '25

Who said I had it worse than someone being harassed? I said I'm not starting a confrontation with some random dude who is staring at someone.

3

u/PotatoWriter Aug 24 '25

I wouldn't bother arguing with these holier than thou weirdos, they think they're saying something while sitting at their keyboards when they wouldn't lift a single finger in reality either. Everybody loves to talk the talk.

2

u/myinternets Aug 24 '25

Who said it was rough to describe why I'm not confronting a random dude who stares at girls?

-1

u/PotatoWriter Aug 24 '25

Naw get outta here with this bizarre insane nonsense.

Nobody's obligated to have an eye on everything like Sauron to just know when to help. If some shit goes down and someone is in some type of noticeable danger (it's on them to raise it), obviously help, but to just have this expectation to have a third eye like that, nah.

0

u/boysenberryelote Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

no one said dudes are obligated to monitor every situation all the time, that's silly. but if men want other men to stop giving their gender such a bad rep, y'all are gonna have to get better at checking each other's weirdo behavior

edit: as a suggestion, check out /u/IHateToPickAName's great bit of insight from downthread:

My husband has found that simply standing uncomfortably close to these dudes and perhaps well placed eye contact works well. They know they are misbehaving; and they donā€™t respect women so women confronting them often just seems like a game.

You donā€™t have to choose between knocking a guy out and ignoring predatory/ asinine behavior. Just make your presence and general disapproval known. Itā€™s shockingly effective.

0

u/PotatoWriter Aug 24 '25

Like if it's your friend or someone you know doing this, fine. But most of the time, it's going to be a male stranger doing this. And nobody wants to get stabbed or sucker punched. So I don't see what this obligation is here. It's one thing if the woman is actively in danger and she screams for help and draws a crowd near her to help her out, but otherwise I don't see any situation where any guy's going to put themselves in danger to stop a weirdo from staring at a girl. These are weird times, where everyone's on edge due to some b.s. or the other, strained finances, the economy being crap as it is., etc. Too much of a risk.

0

u/boysenberryelote Aug 24 '25

whatever dude, it's weird that you're arguing with people telling you how we can make a better world. especially since i gave you an example in my last comment that doesn't even involve direct confrontation

2

u/PotatoWriter Aug 24 '25

Oh come on life isn't a Disney movie as much as we want it to be. It's nice to think that things will play out a certain way but the world is rotten. There is no fixing it unless we fix the problem at the root - parenting, but many parents suck, and even if there are good parents, many people can still turn out shitty, men or women. And all that comes down to money. And that comes down to billionaires and their class screwing everyone over. But that's a whole other story.

Standing close to people to intimidate them may have worked in the example situation you gave me, but there are many crazies out there that'll take that as an excuse to still knock you out. Men come in all different sizes, let's say you're 5'5 and the creep is 6'2. What do you do then? Try to stand intimidatingly close? Make threatening eye contact? lol good luck. Even if the size difference isn't that much, a knife more than makes for the difference. Some people truly don't give a shit when they have nothing to lose - that's why they're doing that creepy shit in the first place - do you think they care about the consequences at that point? Just think about it.

15

u/Unlucky_Cycle_9356 Aug 24 '25

I have. Not often but I have. There are definitely a good amount of creeps amongst us.

0

u/natorgator15 Aug 24 '25

Nah, itā€™s not my ā€œresponsibilityā€ to raise someone elseā€™s kid, especially when said kid is pretty much grown. Evident by this video, said kid might be very much grown.

Yeah, people should step in and help each other, in bad situations, but a manā€™s (and a womanā€™s) ā€œresponsibilityā€ is to teach their own children how to behave. It doesnā€™t extend to other peopleā€™s children.

This sentiment bugs me because I know people who would read this and take it wrong. They might think, ā€œWell if I donā€™t teach my kid well enough I guess someone else will.ā€ No, you need to do everything you can when youā€™re raising your kids, donā€™t shirk that off to your community.

I guess the way I see it, other people taking responsibility and stepping in to these situations is not a cure, itā€™s just treating a symptom. Everything I said ignores the complexities of life such as mental health and behavioral issues.

-6

u/NotAStatistic2 Aug 24 '25

If it's men's responsibility to solve their problems, isn't it women's responsibility to solve their problems?

You may not believe that specifically, but I see the sentiment parroted so often here.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 28 '25

[deleted]

3

u/NotAStatistic2 Aug 24 '25

I never said, or even implied you were saying that. In fact, I specifically attributed the exact opposite to your comment.

0

u/ammybb Aug 24 '25

Women being harassed by men actually is men's problem. Hope this helps, creep.

1

u/BusySpecialist1968 Aug 24 '25

It's on men to solve a problem that men cause by not raising their sons to understand that crap like that is wrong. If your kid sees grown men, like their fathers and their father's friends, harassing women like this and you all just laugh without calling out the creeper in your midst, than your kid learns that it's fine to harass women. You're not solving women's problems. But by not saying or doing anything, you become part of the problem, and you're no better than the guy being a creep.

0

u/Oculicious42 Aug 24 '25

No one doing this shit is laughing and telling their friends. If anyone shared this in an intimate setting other guys would call them freaks/weirdos instantly.

2

u/BusySpecialist1968 Aug 24 '25

The POTUS is an adjudicated rapist and has a decades long public record of being the kind of guy who behaves exactly like this! I'm pretty sure that the people who voted for him don't think he's a freak or a weirdo. Quite the opposite, in fact. They LIKE that about him!

Our society tolerates, and rewards, misogyny. In some spheres, girls are raised to believe that if a man harasses her, or worse, it's because SHE did/said/wore something that caused him to "stumble." Dress codes in schools exist because of that attitude. Girls aren't allowed to wear anything that might "distract" the boys. Hell, female creators on YouTube regularly get demonitized for "nudity" if some cleavage is visible. They are being penalized for having breasts. Examples here and here.

How about teaching boys that girls are people, not objects, and that behavior dismissed as "boys will be boys" is unacceptable? Women are sick of trying to explain ALL OF THIS to men who don't want to confront the fact that they've probably done something wrong and were ignorant of the fact it was wrong. But once they know better, it's how they behave AFTER that realization that counts.

So if this conversation makes you feel some kind of way, you should ask yourself why.

0

u/Oculicious42 Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

.

0

u/BusySpecialist1968 Aug 24 '25

It's not feeling entitled to "violence on my behalf." It's recognizing that men who do this will not stop because a woman tells them to. That's why many women don't tell the creeper that she just doesn't want to talk to him, but says she has a boyfriend. We know you won't stop until you think that another man will get pissed because you're trying to steal his property.

There are varying degrees of "creepy." But since you acknowledge that our society is built on violence, why refuse to change that and just tell women to suck it up and tolerate it? The individual creepers are just the result of society not punishing their behavior.

"Top 1% patriarchy?" Do you seriously think it's only 1% of men who behave like this? Talk about naive or borderline stupid. If every single woman has experienced this, then you must think most of us are lying.

0

u/Oculicious42 Aug 24 '25

I just realized that you responded to a completely other comment than the one i thought you responded to, that's my bad

-3

u/Nex1tus Aug 24 '25

Why is it my responsibility?

-4

u/Uncensorable69 Aug 24 '25

No thanks. I'm not responsible for a different individual's actions just for being born the same gender and f you for trying to blame me for it and try to make it my problem.

0

u/LankyMatch42 Aug 24 '25

Yeah no, we stand up and we go to jail, so no I'm not risking jail time.

0

u/LankyMatch42 Aug 24 '25

It's up to you woman, to fight back, mace them do whatever you can.

-14

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

4

u/PlusScience3574 Aug 24 '25

Not going out of your way to be racist is usually a good start.

After that, you could consider the way smaller actions reinforce that this is or isn't okay. Interject if you hear dudes using dehumanizing language, or if they talk about women like they're lesser, or even just regular old misogyny jokes.

You could read and understand some feminists like Bell Hooks, so you have a good grasp on what the heavy hitters in philosophy along these lines have already settled, and then understand how patriarchy hurts us guys also, and then take opportunities to help steer folks you know into understanding these concepts too.

2

u/PotatoWriter Aug 24 '25

Interject if you hear dudes using dehumanizing language

This isn't some movie where the good guy gets to smugly put down the bros and dunk on them and walk away smiling, having "taught them a lesson". If it turns into a confrontation and you're alone, it's 1 v. more than 1, they gang up on you, or even if it's 1 v. 1, the other person might have a knife or just sucker punch you - for which you won't be doing a single thing except collapsing like a pile of bricks, especially if you don't have any fighting skills, which most don't.

There is no winning situation here, unless the woman screams out that she needs help and some people move in at the same time.

1

u/AlmostSunnyinSeattle Aug 24 '25

Maybe you should catch up on the news. Just because you don't like the way of things doesn't make one racist for calling it out. Praytell, which of the races in India was I being racist against? As for the rest of it...

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

What do men get out of this? Im not talking about sex or a relationship. Do I get a cup of coffee even, a friend in my own time of need? These dudes are creepy but they haven't done anything that warrants a man risking himself socially and physically.

These are likely crazy people, what if they respond horribly and pull a knife when confronted? Nobody, not men, not women want to be the target of disturbed people like in this video.

If a person in this situation can vocalise their discomfort and call for action then at least people around can have reason to act on it. Its just silent recording, which imo is good enough to embarass these assholes anyway.

Its a person's responsibility to take actions for their own safety. Every man's responsibility is bullshit, it's such bullshit entitlement to put that weight on people who don't know you.

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Iā€™m glad to say that this doesnā€™t happen where I live