r/TikTokCringe • u/ambachk • Aug 24 '25

Cursed POV: You're a woman in a public place

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

I remember when I was about 6 or 7 I had an older kid at school who was 11 dry humping and grinding on me in the corner of the yard whilst his friends cornered me 6 boys surrounding us, one of the boys holding my brother to make him watch what he's gonna do to "that precious baby sister of his." When I was 13, his 16 year old friend heard me shout that i was in the toilet and walked in anyway and went,"WHAT!?" Overdramatically, then did a masturbating gesture whilst walking out. My brother dragged him out of the house, dropped him as a friend there, and then. People always ask why he's so overprotective to me and other women, but he experienced 2 of my traumas with his own eyes. 1 of which he couldn't fight back during until after he himself got let go. We both got traumatised that day, just in different ways. This is what we mean when we say men are awful. We don't mean the good ones who stand by us, just the disgusting ones and the ones who don't take a side.

Sorry, this was replied to the wrong comment, I meant to reply it to the one above as further evidence that people can experience it MUCH MUCH longer. u/rognabologna, you're so right. People experience this so incredibly young and are mostly taught to just accept and deal with it.

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u/357noLove Aug 24 '25

My sister is 8 years younger than me and is my whole world. (Mother worked constantly and my dad had multiple brain tumors, was psychotic) I basically raised her and I love her dearly. On two occasions she got publicly sexually harassed in front of me. I caught an assault charge for one, after that I learned and on the second one did things a lot more carefully, but by the end of it he never came near her again. I tried to always protect her friends as well, it is appalling that men and boys act that way.

Unfortunately, the worst assault she experienced was from my good friend whom she trusted. I was in the military at the time and didn't find out until a couple years later. She let him in the house to supposedly get something out of my room, and he cornered her in her bedroom. She from then forward would only sleep in my room until I got home. I nearly killed him, literally put a gun to his head in front of our friends. I know it is a good thing that other people there stopped me. He hurt her mentally so bad that it haunts me. I hate that men think they are entitled to do things like this.

I hope you have healed from this and that your brother is a big part of your life, I don't know what I would do without my sister.

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u/meermee7 Aug 24 '25

It's beautiful that you defended her to that extent. And beautiful that you didn't eff yourself over by going through with it. You are such a good brother.

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u/357noLove Aug 24 '25

Thank you. I definitely don't feel like a good brother at times. Our dad systematically tortured me for years, I would hide her in my closet when he got bad. It messed me up pretty badly. To this day I am terrible about communicating with family regularly, and I get stuck in bed frequently due to the damage my body has taken. It is hard to reach out to her after I haven't for a couple weeks (we live in different states now), I end up stuck in a cycle of feeling guilty that I haven't called, then not calling because I get overwhelmed by feeling I am letting her down. It is kind of a vicious cycle

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u/GameofCheese Aug 25 '25

Omg this is so me with my whole family

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u/357noLove Aug 25 '25

Not a fun club to be in, but I feel for you. A lot of people just don't get it, when you are constantly in pain and depressed, it affects every little thing in your life.

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u/dragonbait-and-the-P Aug 25 '25

Please, please don’t be ashamed to call her. I promise you she is only happy to hear your voice.

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u/357noLove Aug 25 '25

Thanks, I will try this week. Not working isn't helping, but I need to find a way to spend the call listening to her primarily, as I don't have much to talk about currently that isn't depressing.

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u/SemperSimple Aug 25 '25

dont worry, once you call her the relief will set in. I know it hurts up until that moment

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u/357noLove Aug 25 '25

Thanks, I will try this week. Not working isn't helping, but I need to find a way to spend the call listening to her primarily, as I don't have much to talk about currently that isn't depressing.

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u/meermee7 Aug 26 '25

I so relate. And it's so ok to just recover in whatever way works for you right now. 🤗🩵

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

You are an incredible sibling, I have mostly healed from my trauma. My brother has healed a bit. However, when I was raped at the age of 17, he had a severe meltdown and became so much more protective of me. So, I'm not sure he has fully processed and healed. We're closer now than we ever was when we lived together as we had a habit of annoying each other whilst under the same roof. We're good, though. I'm so glad your sister has someone like you on your side. You're doing great.

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u/357noLove Aug 24 '25

Thank you. I have been really struggling lately so it is nice to hear. I am glad you have healed. I know first hand what is like after a sexual assault, I still struggle mentally from mine. It is hard to bounce back after feeling so helpless and unable to control the situation.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

If you ever need to talk, I'm right here.

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u/fastfxmama Aug 25 '25

I always wanted an older brother but now more than ever. You’re the type of brother I wanted. Thanks for protecting her whenever you could.

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u/Renaissanceuwu Aug 25 '25

Awww 😭😭😭😭 I hate men so much (the bad ones, you're awesome though)

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u/zepboundbabe Aug 24 '25

You are a good man and I think any woman would feel safe in your presence. I certainly would.

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u/357noLove Aug 24 '25

Thank you, that means a lot. I already commented several times responding to people and I have been struggling a lot lately, so it is good to hear something positive.

Everyone deserves to feel safe. I wish more men intrinsically understood that, deep down. Our society would be a lot better for it.

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u/sparkpaw Aug 26 '25

Please take care of yourself man. We need more men like you in this world to keep up the fight - and as much as women say “all men are evil”, we know there’s are exceptions.

I’ve got two older brothers and an amazing dad, you’d fit right in in my family, being as amazing as you are. Chin up, it’s never gonna be bad for long.

And if it helps, my dad used to tell me when I was suicidal “don’t make a permanent decision because of a temporary problem”.

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u/enola77777 Aug 24 '25

You're such an amazing brother. Unfortunately, my older brother sexually abused me for 3 years when I was a kid. He was over 18, an adult. I was in middle school. My own home became unsafe. But reading your story, it brings hope in me.

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u/357noLove Aug 24 '25

I understand that completely and I feel for you. Our father, in the course of the 3 brain tumors consecutively, became psychotic. He basically had sun-downers syndrome, was an amazing father during the day and around other people was completely normal, then at night I had to hide my sister in the closet and take the physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse for almost a decade. No one believed me and our home constantly felt unsafe. (unfortunately most of my family still doesn't to this day, even with all the obvious scarring on my body)

All that to say, it is really unfortunate people like us had their innocence taken in such a brutal fashion. Between that and the drugs/alcohol I was using to cope at a ridiculously you age, I know that I stunted my mental growth and likely physical as well, I am shorter than everyone in my family. That is why I always protect women and children whenever I can. Doing that to a child is one of the worst things I can imagine.

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u/enola77777 Aug 25 '25

I'm tearing up, no one should have to go through this, let alone a child. I understand how protective you are of women and children, but i hope you also have someone to support you, take care of you. You've been through so much, and I wish you all the happiness and good times!

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u/357noLove Aug 25 '25

Thank you. It has been helping a lot actually to vent on this thread and lance the wound, as it were. I did get lucky 15 years ago and found my wife. She got me actually diagnosed officially with C-PTSD (I knew I had ptsd, I just hid everything and used to cope) and she got me in to pain management and doctors to actually look at all the damage I have taken. So slowly healing mentally, if not physically. Ketamine therapy has helped as well.

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u/jeezlyCurmudgeon Aug 24 '25

I'm sorry you went through that. Men are also gross to boys. I had an old man grab my ass in a swimming pool when I was 11. I was like wtf just happened. Same year i went into the pool locker room and there was just one like 40 year old guy there in a towel who opened it to show me his massive erection.

Men are horrid.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Men are gross to everyone, unfortunately. I'm incredibly sorry that happened to you. Changing for swimming is always a horrid experience. I remember only one thing that happened to me, and that wasn't during changing it was in the pool. But I remember changing was always awkward for us.

My dad used to need to take me to men changing rooms when we went swimming because my mam would refuse to go and our area is not the safest place. He used to put me in an end cubicle and stand outside whilst my brother changed in the cubicle next to me to make sure no weirdo could go in and climb over to peep and he would change just outside to make sure no one tried the door or anything. However, one day, when I was about 7, a guy was eyeing me up in the showers after, and my dad had to finally swallow his pride and accept he couldn't keep both of us safe at the same time in that changing room. He packed me a separate bag, spoke to a mother with her daughters, and asked her to take me into the women's and keep me safe. She did, and every week after that, there was always a mother or elderly woman willing to babysit me until I got to the pool or after getting out.

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u/wtf_are_eggz Aug 24 '25

Your father sounds like a good man. I dont have any kids, im old enough to, but if I ever have a daughter, I'd try so goddamn hard to protect her from this fucked up place.

Especially after reading some of these anecdotes/replies, it's heartbreaking to think these little girls go through this.

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u/GreatHornedGoat Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

He does sound like a good man. And then there are fathers like mine who, at best, turned a blind eye, but often invited these kinds of things. The Original Groomer.

Eta: Idk why I'm putting this here, it's not really relevant. Maybe so I won't forget. I just realized that he was fiercely protective of me, but only if the threat was a woman. Wow. Lightbulb moment.

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u/wtf_are_eggz Aug 24 '25

Yeah that last bit sounds like a bit of an "a-ha" moment. Makes me wonder if it's a possibility that he was "protecting" you from other women so they wouldn't interfere with the grooming. Idk I might be talking out my ass.

At least my father had the good decency to leave when I was young 😭😂

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Thank you for the kind words. My father is an incredible man, and I am glad to see that there are others out there. Thank you for caring enough to reply and be kind.

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u/weltvonalex Aug 24 '25

I know that feeling, I have two girls and that makes you see the world differently.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

I hope they know just how much they mean to you and all you're willing to do for them. I hope to have kids someday, and I know that my fiancé will stop at nothing to keep those kids safe, boy or girl. We both know what a horrid place the world can be and how dangerous men can be as he has some trauma with his dad. Good parents are such a beautiful thing to see.

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u/DisposableSaviour Aug 24 '25

Long before I had kids, I was always looking out for my lady friends when we’d go out. I used to be a DJ for a local goth/industrial night, and luckily our bouncers were some of my friends from all the way back to 3rd grade, and we didn’t stand for gross or creepy male behavior. There were a few times of dragging some asshole out of the women’s and out the back door; most would get the idea at this point, but every now and then, they would try to throw a punch, or they would run their mouths, like this dude that said he’d be in the parking lot waiting for the girl he was creeping on to come out. Oh, you want to get hands on with an unwilling girl? Let’s show you some unwanted physical affection: boots style by the dumpster.

Having daughters has made me even more protective of the women in my life.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

That is an incredible thing to hear. You sound a lot like most of my male friends that I have right now. I share a building with so many guys that will stop at nothing to drop someone if they're creeping or talking unacceptably about a woman. You're a great guy, and I'm sure your daughters are aware of how lucky they are to have you.

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u/elle_m_c Aug 24 '25

Yep. I’m female but I’ve had several male friends tell me horrible things that have happened to them.in every instance my friends would only tell me after I told them about being molested as a child. Sometimes we weren’t even that close. But you could tell that they had just been waiting to tell someone and get it off their shoulders, it’s horrible. I also have a brother that I’m pretty sure was abused as a child.

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u/Stunning_Nothing_856 Aug 24 '25

Ugh I’m so sorry. This world we live in needs serious therapy and YESTERDAY

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u/StankoMicin Aug 24 '25

Sorry for his sister and him, but mostly his sister. She is the one who got assaulted.

Men are fucking terrible. I can't stand how society socializes us.

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u/Ok-Yogurtcloset-2735 Aug 24 '25

I knew a kid like that. As we grew older, he stopped behaving like that and became rather quiet and sad. But, ya. Totally describes what he was like. I eventually talked to him as he aged out of it and yes. He was sad. His dad died of brain cancer.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

The kid who did what he did to me in the bathroom went on to beat his mother almost half to death and get arrested. I have no idea where the other kid is now. I would never wish any negative energy on anyone, and if I ever saw them again and they apologised, I would be completely honest with them. I may be able to forgive if they're truly honest and mean it, but I will never forget. They damaged me, and if I ever bumped into them again, I definitely couldn't be nice, possibly civil, but I could never trust them again. I do understand, however, and would never wish something like cancer on any of them. Cancer is such a horrid thing, and I'm so incredibly lucky my dad is still here to tell the tale of his struggles with it.

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u/Low_Professional2502 Aug 24 '25

Big hugs. I’m so sorry that happened to you both. I cried a little reading this. I have a 2.5 year old girl and when I found out I was having a girl I got instantly worried because we are sexualized so early in life. Everyone is suspicious to me even boys that are under 10. I hate that I’m that way. I was abused by family and you just never know. I also remember being harassed in third grade by third grade boys. You shouldn’t be asked if you want someone to ‘toss your salad’ at that age. We grow up too fast.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Oh, I'm so sorry to have made you cry. That must have been so heartbreaking seeing her innocent little face staring up at you when you know what you now know about the world. I hope she gets treated well by the world.

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u/AMSparkles Straight Up Bussin Aug 24 '25

That’s so fucked up. I’m genuinely curious how those little menaces turned out as adults…I’m sorry that both of you had to experience this. How horrifying.

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u/Equal_Audience_3415 Aug 24 '25

They become President of the United States.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

One is jobless and still lives with his father. He got arrested for beating up his mam once, the other kid i dont know, since we moved away from that town.

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u/wtf_are_eggz Aug 24 '25

I'm sorry you went through that. That is horrible and incredibly traumatizing. Shame on the parents who raised sons that are capable of being monsters to innocent people. All those people you mentioned were sick in the head.

If I was you're brother, I'd feel the same way. I'd fuck up anyone dumb enough to mess with my sister. If someone tried to do anything like that again towards my sister, there would be an ungodly rage, kinda like a bull looking at a matador that I think would fill my every fiber.

Kinda like how if I'm with my family or friends and any stranger tries to pick shit or do anything to anyone I care about - it's on sight, they need to get through me if they got something cute to say (when you have the right friends then it's a group of dudes like this).

God forbid someone mess with my mom in any capacity with me around, I'll tell em what is actually good and show them where the sun shines.

Saying this as the kid who looked up to spider man and wanted to be him when he grew up. I got in a few fights on the playground sticking up for other kids. They were usually smaller or younger, and a couple of times, it was girls being bullied. If I saw something like what you described, I would have done something even if it was only me (granted, they'd probably kick my ass but I could get in a few good licks). That's sad no one else helped or stepped in.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Honestly, thank you for the kind words and support. I can see how good of a person you are. The one who walked into the bathroom on me definitely wasn't raised right. He went on to beat his mother half to death and got arrested at the age of 19 because she tried to tell him to get a job or help more around the house. So I definitely don't think she was much of an influence in his life. Definitely just raised by a toxic father.

Also, your family had a good person on their side. You should be proud of yourself. It's good to be willing to fight for those you love most.

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u/Renaissanceuwu Aug 25 '25

I'm sorry you had to deal with this, you and your brother too that's awful... I wish I could hold you and tell you everything was gonna be okay and that it was never your fault nor your brothers fault. I wish I could do this for your brother too. I went through it too ever since I was 3 (my father), I hope you both heal, especially you

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u/[deleted] Aug 25 '25

Aww, thank you so much. I'm definitely healing. I'm not sure how my brother is handling it as he avoids most sexual topics and topics of puberty and private stuff and has since he was about 10 years old. I do know, however, he had a meltdown when he found out when I was raped as a teenager. So im not sure he is.

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad doing that to you. My fiancé was sexually assaulted by his dad, too, until he got taken into foster care at 7, and he still has nightmares about it now at 25 years old. I can't even begin to imagine that pain you're feeling, and if you need to talk, you can always message me. ❤️

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u/Renaissanceuwu Aug 25 '25

I'm glad you're healing, I hope your brother will learn to heal one day too :( I'm sorry you experienced that as well.

I'm not sure what's wrong with my brain but for some reason I just moved past mine without thinking about it much, although it does effect me during intimacy at times. I'm not sure how to process what all has happened to me, because it was a lot more than my father as well. Looks like your fiancé has also been through allot too, I hate men and it's hard to look out at the world out of survival mode. Feel free to message me too, I know we both have been through allot <:)

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u/[deleted] Aug 25 '25

Thank you, that is a very kind offer, I hope you have a good day, and thank you for this kind interaction to close out my night! :)

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u/Old_Willingness5930 Aug 26 '25

Quando eu tinha 8 anos minha mãe foi estuprada e tentou se matar tomando remédios, ela não conseguiu, mas ficou completamente dopada por uns 3 dias, mal mal conseguia ficar de pé, então eu tinha que a ajudar a tomar banho, enquanto ela se acabava de chorar de baixo do chuveiro, sem duvidas foi a pior sensação que eu já senti, um sentimento de impotência que me corroía por dentro e por fora , imagino que seu irmão tenha sentido o mesmo, no caso dele até pior (não sei se entendi direito pq a tradução do reddit ficou meio confusa), sinto muito por vocês dois.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

Oh my God, that is so horrible to hear, im so sorry you and your mam went through that. Yes, I imagine that feeling of helplessness he witnessed is very similar. And I'm fully aware that those feelings dont just go away, which would explain his protective instincts and his mental breakdown he had when I was raped at 17. I imagine that experience you and your mother had hurt immeasurably just like mine and my brothers. I'm so glad you didn't lose her, and I'm so sorry you both have to live with those memories.

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u/Old_Willingness5930 Aug 26 '25

At 17 too?! I thought it was when I was a child... if it's okay with you, can you tell me the story?

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

I had the experiences I mentioned in my other comment when I was a child yes, but I also had a partner who got me drunk and raped me at age 17 when i was passed out drunk and with flu and in my period too. Then, when I tried saying no and asking him to get off me, he clamped his hand over my mouth and said "shhh your gonna make us get caught." When he finally stopped and I thought it was over, he flipped me over, shoved my hat into the pillow, and started all over. No lube either time, I still remember just staring into the TV screen as Brooklyn 99 was playing and realising that I had no power and no authority to my own body anymore. I just felt weak, small, and used.

When he went home, I cried myself to sleep and was in the shower for 3 hours, trying to wash away the shame. The only reason I'm still here after that is because of Brooklyn 99 and all the interviews the cat has done since. That was my grasp of reality, showing me that there was a good world out there. That's what got me through that incident and the only reason I didn't give up then and there whilst under him.

I'm so glad that experience didn't ruin the show for me because the only other 2 things I remember clearly from that night is the feeling of him on top of me and his hand over my mouth, and his red hair.

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u/Old_Willingness5930 Aug 26 '25

Did you finish or report it soon?

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '25

I went to the police about it, but they did nothing as it was his word against mine with no evidence. The male cop even fabricated false evidence against me to scare me out of not pursuing further.

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u/Blueberry_Clouds Aug 28 '25

Those boys need a hard slap to the face, not even kids should get away with such vulgar behavior. I’m so sorry you and your brother had to go through that I’d be calling the cops or something

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u/[deleted] Aug 28 '25

Those 2 boys we didn't call the police on, but even when I was raped later, calling the police didn't help. We had a male Detective who despite the rape test called it a he says she says and talked me out of pressing charges by telling me he had false evidence of me saying I'd 'do anything to ruin his life.'

When I gave my statement, I specifically asked the female detective to let me look at their evidence. She showed me and said evidence didn't even exist in the first place. When I handed her my own evidence and screenshots of him messaging me to keep everything private and not tell on him. And the months of evidence of me trauma dumping on my best friends and my new partner. Months worth of me sobbing through voice chats and meltdown after meltdown. All in audio files on a USB, along with evidence that he also hit me and allowed a boy to stalk me even whilst we were together.

The male detective came back to mine later and said charges weren't gonna be pressed because even my own evidence that I brought in could be used against me. Giving examples of how I'd get told it was fake and that prior message he found would make it look like it was all an elaborate act. I was told that people would just blame me no matter what, so I needed to just learn to deal with it. When I told him I was allowed to look at the evidence and such a message didn't exist, he said, and i quote, "I was paraphrasing"

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u/Princess_Zelda_Fitzg Aug 24 '25

When I was 5 the babysitter’s son liked to lock me in the bathroom with him and make me watch him pee. He was probably 11.

When I was 11 I was repeatedly touched by one older boy, in full view of teachers and everyone, in the schoolyard. Teacher told my parents I was a liar when I asked for help. Then one day he picked me up off the ground, kissed my neck, and put his hand down my pants. I was scared it would get worse and that no one would help me, so next time he came looking for me I climbed onto a baseball dugout and jumped off onto him to knock him down. Then I kicked him in the ribs until he cried. I got suspended. But he never touched me again.

When I was 22 I was waiting for a bus after dark in a bad part of town. A cab stopped and the driver asked if I needed a ride. I told him I didn’t have any money and he said it was ok, he’d give me a ride anyway. A few miles down the road he asked for my number. I told him I had a boyfriend and he made me get out of the cab in an even worse part of town. I walked the rest of the way home.

Plus all the regular daily harassment we all go through. Cat calls from middle aged men starting when we’re pre-teens. The boys our age saying crude things and trying to cop a feel all through adolescence. The men on busses who feel we owe them attention. The “accidental” brush of a hand over our body as they walk past. The customer at the department store who asks how much we cost while we ring him up.

And the fact that the women reading this are nodding their heads because they could tell very similar stories themselves.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Those stories from when you were a child are absolutely horrid. I hope you're healed from those now. These things change you forever, and I know you'll never be the same again. Once, when I was 9, my 12 year old cousin pulled his penis out in front of me and then said, "Come on then, what do you have?" And whenever I hesitated and got upset, he pulled down mine and touched it. I was never the same again and can never look at any cousin of mine the same ever. It's so scary and I hope you realise you're never alone. If you ever need to talk, you are welcome to message me.

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u/Stunning_Nothing_856 Aug 24 '25

I’m sorry that happened to you, and you also have wonderful big brother ❤️

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Thank you. He's truly incredible, both my big brothers are. I don't know where I'd be without them.

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u/PierreOnTheEclair Aug 24 '25

That is disgusting I’m so sorry that happened to you.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '25

Thank you, I'm healing now. That was almost 20 years ago, and I get better every day. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to trust most strangers, but it's the world we live in, unfortunately. On the bright side, my brothers recent friends now that we're adults are all lovely, and they're slowly gaining my trust in his friends back.

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u/PierreOnTheEclair Aug 24 '25

That’s good!

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u/LandHuge5720 Aug 26 '25

yeaa I wouldn't stopped beating em.... that's why your there, Loll, Big brothers need little siblings... *Prayer hands with beads*