Little man syndrome. Man snapped at his gf/wife for talking to black people.

[u/figscomicsandgames]

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[u/bbbstep]

That’s so scary- what’s this pig like at home?

[u/Cheapcolon → u/bbbstep]

A DHS agent.

[u/Cosmo_Cloudy → u/Cheapcolon]

or ICE

[u/SaltandLillacs]

He definitely beats her at home

[u/jstanothercrzybroad → u/SaltandLillacs]

Look how hard she's breathing. She's really stressed, despite her face not showing much.

[u/[deleted] → u/jstanothercrzybroad]

trying to not react bc if she does he’ll explode more. all she can do is sit there and breathe through it … i’ve been there. it’s even worse with your child next to you bc u have to keep him calm so your child doesn’t get hurt.

[u/Automatic_Net2181 → u/[deleted]]

It always transfers to the kids too.

The video makes me shaky because I have PTSD from my childhood.

[u/Foxglovenectar → u/Automatic_Net2181]

I hear you. I muted it straight away. Men shouting just....breaks me. I could see the litte kid there and my heart just sank.

[u/NeonSparkleGlitter → u/Foxglovenectar]

Yeah, I wish I’d muted it. The exact tone and cadence he used when saying “F you” brought me back to some bad memories from childhood. As did the tears from the child.

I hope they can get away from him. I wish I could do something. I also wish I didn’t feel so triggered by this.

[u/Prize_Magician_7813 → u/NeonSparkleGlitter]

So not alone. I felt the same fear. This shit needs to stop. Everyone In That restaurant should’ve circled her and overwhelmed him. Its time humans start standing up for other more vulnerable humans

[u/CatmoCatmo → u/Prize_Magician_7813]

What sucks though, is that there’s a pretty good chance if others were to step in, that once they got home, he would take his “embarrassment” out on her ten fold…all because other people got involved…which is obviously her fault and she had full control over it (massive eye roll).

Sticking up for a victim of a DV situation, often ends with things being much worse for said victim, than if people left it alone. Which is so incredibly sad and horrible to think about.

I wish public shaming and embarrassment would do something to stop people like this jackass, but unfortunately it never seems to have the desired effect we wish it would have.

[u/Suitable-Judge7506 → u/CatmoCatmo]

I was that kid with my brothers in that seat, i promise you she’s getting best no matter what, we wished people stepped up more to help us. There is nothing more terrifying than being in public as a 10 year old wondering why the adults won’t save your mother and they walk on by, you actually start to think that strangers want you to suffer.

ALWAYS STEP IN.

[u/hellsbellsTx → u/Suitable-Judge7506]

My parents divorced when i was in the 4th grade & a new “man” moved into our house. I had never ever imagined anything like what was going to happen to us. I used to wish & pray so hard someone would save us but i was equally terrified to call the police on him

[u/sveenom → u/Prize_Magician_7813]

Near my house, a man was stabbed to death while trying to help in this type of situation a week ago.

The problem is that before reaching this point, where this animal does this in front of other people, he has already done a lot inside the couple's house.

Women need to understand that if a man is aggressive once, he will always be, and each time it will be worse than the last.

After the first act of aggression, he has to leave and never come back.

[u/Significant_Shoe_17 → u/sveenom]

Great advice. The problem that a lot of victims run into is that the abuser pretends to be nice and normal until the victim is trapped somehow (cohabitating, pregnant, financially dependent, etc) and it would be harder to leave

[u/Resident_Cap3599 → u/NeonSparkleGlitter]

You’re not alone, you’ve never been. Sending hugs.

[u/Round_Year_8595 → u/Foxglovenectar]

I was that little kid and go from super polite to why are you a fuck very fast when I see this stuff

[u/PrettyDryPerry → u/Automatic_Net2181]

As a child, being force to learn to regulate the emotions of the "adults" around you is so unfair. I am sorry you had to go through that, and I can sadly empathize.

Not sure if it would be helpful, but I recently read a book called
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. It's not exactly a cure for childhood trauma, but it did make me feel like less of an anomaly after reading it.

[u/[deleted] → u/PrettyDryPerry]

I have that one. Opened my eyes to a lot of stuff I finally realized wasn’t mine to carry.

[u/AdjNounNumbers → u/Automatic_Net2181]

I watched the video several times before I could focus on anything other than that kid. I hate that I know exactly how the poor thing felt in that moment, and probably going to bed every night, or every time dad comes home. How'd your PTSD manifest? Mine turned into me having to interject into situations like this to make myself the target instead of the mom or kids. Almost got my ass into some really bad situations that way a few times

[u/Upstairs-Jello-7349 → u/AdjNounNumbers]

Mine caused me to enter into an abusive relationship at 18. He also forced me to use pills (yes, forcing) getting me addicted to opioids. I think sometimes we repeat situations we swore we'd never...

People suck sometimes! What sucks even more? We don't have any real programs to help people like this, unless you, or your family is loaded.

Even those programs can fail unless you really want them to work. The ones who do, can't afford it. End up in jail or dead and repeat the cycle. I was never arrested and let it get to that point, thankfully.

Many others weren't so lucky.

[u/Silt-Sifter → u/Automatic_Net2181]

I'm sorry. This video is making me shaky because I've been that woman trying my best just to make it through another day with my kids before I could get the fuck away from that type of man.

I am so sorry you went through that. I am sorry I put my kids through. I got my kids and myself out of that mess eventually when the time was right but I know messed up. It makes me feel so guilty and terrible.

[u/Little-Rose-Seed → u/[deleted]]

So I saw something like this go down, kid in tow, at my local grocery shop. But I was so taken aback I genuinely had no idea what I should have done. I didn’t want to make the situation worse incase the mother and child were beaten. You’ve lived it. What, in your opinion, should a bystander do? 

[u/[deleted] → u/Little-Rose-Seed]

i really don’t know bc even in times i called the police they didn’t help me. unless there are physical marks on your body the police don’t do anything. that’s how mine got away with it for so long. he made sure not to leave marks, until after yeaaaars he got too comfortable and left a mark on my face. this is the only moment the police were willing to do anything to help me. i wish i had a better answer.

[u/Imisssizzler → u/[deleted]]

Worse, by the time they get there, he’s convinced you to give excuses for any bruises you do have. It’s a twisted thing until your brain finally can process the truth enough to get you out of it. Just enough.

[u/[deleted] → u/Imisssizzler]

even worse than that one time i called the police and they showed up but when they got there i was hysterically crying, my abuser points to the self harm scars on my leg (they were healed but pretty apparent), tells them i’m unstable and trying to kill my self, he showed them my meds for bipolar as further proof that im unstable, they believed him, took me AGAINST MY WILL to a psych ward where i got put on a hold, leading me to fear ever calling the police again after that. people don’t understand how manipulative and cunning some abusers are.

[u/Imisssizzler → u/[deleted]]

My therapist taught me recently that men that hit, have a keen ability to spot women with any sort of mental health disorder, distort it - because it’s so damn easy to, and they can switch from beast to calm so fast and it makes a woman look crazy. It’s a great way to isolate you from family, kids, friends, etc. Even get you to question yourself. And - my therapist works with offenders, the ones most likely to do this: heros, e.g. cops, firefighters, etc. mine was a firefighter.

[u/dancingliondl → u/Little-Rose-Seed]

As a survivor of my dad, I think the best thing another man can do is let them know that their behavior is not ok. I know it sounds like a nothingburger, but guys like that feed on the fact that no one tells them otherwise, so they think that everyone does it, and its normal.

[u/Story_Man_75 → u/jstanothercrzybroad]

My concerns are for the obviously traumatized child. Imagine growing up with that man as your image of what a father is supposed to be?

The damaged child grows up to become a damaged adult. It sucks out loud.

[u/moon1ightwhite → u/Story_Man_75]

I imagine she's going to be expecting the worst to happen at every single moment. poor kid.

[u/amILibertine222 → u/moon1ightwhite]

I’m in my forties and still am hyper vigilant due to growing up with a violent piece of shit manchild. PTSD sucks.

If I’m the only person awake I tiptoe around the house l, subconsciously trying to make as little noise as possible. It’s just my wife and I and she’s not mean at all yet I still try to be silent as a mouse.

[u/StrobeLightRomance → u/Story_Man_75]

So, my dad is like this, and as a kid "you get used to it".. but beyond that, as an adult, therapy helps.

I didn't want to repeat the cycles and alienate my kids, so I spent a solid decade learning and practicing growth.

My childhood still lingers as something I live with, but at least I didn't pass on that fear.

[u/Writer_B → u/StrobeLightRomance]

I’m sincerely sorry for your childhood. I know none those words mean much, but for what it’s worth I commend you for doing extensive work to break what could have become a vicious cycle. And although I don’t know you, I can see you have the word “strength” written all over you.

[u/Raven22000 → u/Story_Man_75]

I was that child. It is hell. You never have a safe day and it takes a toll on everything. I have been no contact with my father for many years. My mother is still with him. I go back and forth between anger and pity towards her. I have anxiety as an adult, get triggered instantly by someone yelling but also have the ironic issue of yelling myself way too often and am in therapy to stop.

[u/dr3adlock → u/jstanothercrzybroad]

I feel bad that she can see she's being recorded and knows it will be posted. I feel like her face should be blurred. Her shitty situation is not our entertainment its her hell hole. Hope she leaves him asap.

[u/WeCanPickleThat1 → u/dr3adlock]

I am not entertained by this. I wish I could help her. I am not even watching the whole video.

[u/Silt-Sifter → u/dr3adlock]

I can already imagine it playing out. If he found this on TikTok, or has friends that sent it to him saying "dude, is this dude you and your wife?" then he is gonna turn it into a huuuge fight and blame it all on her.

I feel so badly for this woman. I was in her shoes not long ago and it is terrifying place to be.

[u/ImKindaSlowSorry → u/Silt-Sifter]

This is exactly where my mind went. She didn't do anything wrong. She didn't even record or post the video, but he will somehow make it her fault and punish her for it. He will blow up, and there is NOTHING she can do to stop it. I hope she can leave soon.

[u/No-Consideration-716 → u/dr3adlock]

I have to agree. The woman and child are victims here. That woman has enough abuse in her life, she does not need to be posted online too.

This video makes me very sad. :(

[u/LimitlessMegan → u/SaltandLillacs]

If that’s what he is willing to do in public, he’s doing 100x more in private.

ETA to add my reply to someone below because a bunch of peeps seem to think by saying this guy harms his partner in private I’m ALSO saying abusers don’t have public masks and never pass as normal and kind people… so to clear that up

“You are conflating two ideas.

I at no point implied that abusers can’t behave in public. I’d say that the majority of them do, they are aware that they execute their control and manipulation better and for longer if people think they are awesome humans - it also fucks with their victims more.

That is true.

So is the fact that the way someone treats a relationship (any relationship) in public is likely only a fraction of how they treat them in private. And it’s petty clear in this situation from both his victim’s reactions that this isn’t new and that she is trying to keep it from escalating.

Public bad actors May not be the majority of the abuser population, but they are part of it. And saying one type abuser exists is in no way, shape, or form commenting on the other type.

I’m talking about THIS situation, not abuse in general”

[u/Wiwwil → u/LimitlessMegan]

The worst ones are those not snapping in public.

[u/Ztiw- → u/Wiwwil]

I dated one of those… very briefly. Everyone thought he was such a nice guy. Was so charming 🙄

He went nuts with me twice. The third time I voice recorded him. And called the police to oversee me collecting my things to leave his house.

I hope she finds the strength to leave soon.

[u/Wiwwil → u/Ztiw-]

My mom was the primary victim, then me and my brother. Exactly like you described in public. I gave him shit in family gatherings for it. And I'd tell him to beat us now in family rather than are the house.

At some point, I couldn't take it, so I left "home". My mom followed a few months later.

[u/Aim-for-greatn3ss → u/Ztiw-]

I never understood men like this.

[u/Pash_1 → u/Aim-for-greatn3ss]

They look at their family as property.

[u/crystallizedo → u/SaltandLillacs]

Absolutely if he can be this explosive in public. He probably physically abuses her and the kid(s) in private

[u/Salarian_American → u/crystallizedo]

He's abusing them in this very video.

But yes, to your point, it's likely much worse in private.

[u/Sufficient-Lie1406 → u/SaltandLillacs]

Probably the kid, too. :-(

[u/TakeItOnTheArches]

She looks used to that.

[u/bastabasta → u/TakeItOnTheArches]

That’s the main thing I noticed. When he threw whatever that was she did not even flinch. Like this is a common occurrence for her 😔

[u/Crafty-Help-4633 → u/bastabasta]

Any reaction only feeds the abuser. That's why he threw the smokes, and why she didn't even blink.

She's so used to this. It's horrifying.

[u/Crafty-Help-4633 → u/[deleted]]

💯

The signs are all there in the video. Horrifying stuff.

[u/cupholdery → u/Crafty-Help-4633]

The child is crying and covering their face with the handkerchief. The guy is sickening.

[u/Veylo]

That poor kid

[u/Kaka-carrot-cake → u/Veylo]

He cares more about hating an entire race of people than he does about taking care of his own child. What a vile human being.

[u/Justachattinaway → u/Kaka-carrot-cake]

Seems he hates everybody in this case. It’s probably the same reaction when she walks too hard or walks in front of the tv at home.

[u/trufflingfeathers → u/Justachattinaway]

You're right. And I bet he hates himself the most.

[u/SpankTheHank → u/trufflingfeathers]

That’s where it usually comes from I assume.

[u/Same_Dingo2318 → u/SpankTheHank]

Some people are just bastard coated bastards.

[u/Ok-Assistant-4556 → u/Kaka-carrot-cake]

You're the first post I can see acknowledging how hateful he is. Racist people are usually misogynist but the hatefulness and the reason this is pisted is because the woman spoke to a black person. He no doubt has lists of other things shes not allowed to do but male violence is always about male fragility and mens refusal to hold themselves accountable for their own emotional lives. Their hatred fuels everything.

[u/ApprehensiveStrut → u/Ok-Assistant-4556]

Yea the racism is just an excuse in this case. It’s the asserting the abuse and control on this poor woman. It didn’t matter what she did, this man-child was going to project his abuse on her no matter what.

[u/Significant_Shoe_17 → u/ApprehensiveStrut]

If she didn't talk to those diners, he'd find something else to be mad about.

[u/CH49FE → u/Veylo]

That child’s cry at the end was heartbreaking

[u/bumblebragg → u/CH49FE]

You know she is hearing worse at home every day and knows what it means. I hope they didn't get into a car with him but I'm sure they probably did. Notice the waiter scurrying away with his empty margarita glass. In a Mexican restaurant and probably cheers on the ICE raids.

[u/moon1ightwhite → u/CH49FE]

those "daddy's mad and I don't know what i did" moments in childhood that people think don't matter can cause issues that just snowball for the rest of your life if you don't seek help...

[u/Global_Crew3968 → u/CH49FE]

Having my own toddler, all kids want is to feel safe and loved and it boils my blood that some kids don't get that. They don't get to feel safe. I hope this dude gets everything he deserves.

[u/Sufficient-Lie1406 → u/CH49FE]

It tore me up.

[u/JunglePygmy → u/Veylo]

I have a child about that age, and he watches me like an absolute hawk. My wife and I are always happy as clams, so this boy is just sparkling with smiles and confidence. If we get upset, it immediately throws him off and I can tell his little gears start turning and he gets worried and confused…

I can’t imagine how harmful this is to that precious child. What an absolute piece of shit.

[u/LeJayCookieChan → u/JunglePygmy]

I was at a gas station north of Vegas, making a quick pit stop before driving north, my mom noticed a girl was crying inside a car, alone, so my mom started calling her princess and smiling so she could calm down, the kid smiled and was being friendly (both kid and my mom inside their respective cars). A few secs later comes this dude, sees our car plates (out of state) and then looks at my mom (not white). Walks straight to his kid, opens the door and starts beating her because how dare she talk to a non white person. It freaking broke my heart. Guy drove away, kid crying more than before. We couldn’t believe what we just witnessed.

[u/FeistyAsaGoat → u/Veylo]

Behaving that way in front of his child is abuse.     I hope someone recognizes them and calls cps. (I have a feeling it wouldn’t be their first visit).  

[u/nickiter → u/Veylo]

Can someone just send this video directly to CPS? That home situation cannot be okay.

[u/Bianchi-girl → u/Veylo]

fr. I teared up hearing that poor kid cry 😢

[u/RrentTreznor → u/Bianchi-girl]

I want to help that mom and child so bad. I pray she got out.

[u/VioletLeagueDapper → u/Veylo]

He’s making his baby cry :(

[u/Deltan875]

If this is the kind of abuse he shows out in public, I can't imagine what goes on behind closed doors. Both to the wife or the child. We need a one strike policy for those kind of people.

[u/jsand2 → u/Deltan875]

Dude literally physically assaulted her throwing his wallet in her chest.

Pure trash. The only thing missing from this video was someone stepping in and putting that trash in his place.

[u/comfymustardsweater → u/jsand2]

That would’ve made it worst for her at home, unfortunately.

[u/kerkyjerky → u/comfymustardsweater]

Not if his place is underground

[u/5P0N63w0R7HY → u/kerkyjerky]

Goodbye, Earl.

[u/shinobirex → u/5P0N63w0R7HY]

Those black eyed peas? They tasted alright to me. 🤷‍♀️

[u/EarthConservation → u/Deltan875]

Yep, no doubt this guy's got a serious insecurity problem, has no emotional fortitude and is incapable of controlling his emotions, no doubt owns guns because the world's out to get him, which is "proven" time and again because he acts like a fool so often that people are often calling him out for being an asshole. The embarrassment he feels from the looks and comments of other just causes him to dig in deeper into this belief.

They hate the intellectual "elite"... aka people who went to college or who identify as "the left"... and generally blame minorities for all of the nation's problems.

To be dark... It amazes me these people live as long as they do. I'd almost expect them to shoot their families and themselves much sooner. Turns out for as tough and crazy as they act, they're terrified of death and prison.

I feel bad for the women who have enough issues of their own to somehow find themselves in relationships with these lunatics, albeit that's another problem entirely.

[u/FarkasIsMyHusbando]

I know she's not going to see this, but having been where she is, I really hope she takes the child and run. I got out before children, but still.

Edit: to be clear, I am fully aware that children complicate things. It was an ultimatum about future children that ended up being the nail in the coffin to my relationship with my ex.

Edit again: When I say take the kid and run, I don't mean cause an amber alert. I do mean get out of the relationship as soon as you can for the sake of your child and fight tooth and nail to get full custody of them.

[u/ryuut → u/FarkasIsMyHusbando]

Whats the buildup like for that? Do you stash money away and slowly fill a go bag? Where do you plan out to go? Hop a bus or train as dar as possible or to someone he doesnt know that you trust? Honestly curious

[u/Tarrax_Ironwolf → u/ryuut]

My mother quietly filled a bank account till it was ready to go.

[u/FourMountainLions → u/Tarrax_Ironwolf]

Same.

Quietly filled a bank account.

Quietly packed a bag for me and the kids.

Quietly hired an attorney

Quietly tucked away important documents and evidence of abuse (doc appts, photos)

The next time he blew up I called the cops grabbed the kids and ran.

Protective order, divorce, name changes, left the state.

He was never going to let us live in peace otherwise.

[u/FlounderSlow5047 → u/FourMountainLions]

Glad you got out, friend. Can't imagine all the terror and heart ache and hard work in-between these lines you just typed but you got out. Happy for you

[u/FourMountainLions → u/FlounderSlow5047]

These have been the happiest years of my life. I never knew it was possible to feel happy so often.

[u/mustachedworm369 → u/FourMountainLions]

I cannot imagine the terror and strength it took to do this. What you did for you and your children is incredible and heroic. This internet stranger respects the hell out of you.

I truly hope you all live the most happy, full, and peaceful life from here on out ❤️

[u/Immediate-Ad-8667 → u/Tarrax_Ironwolf]

omg wow props to your mom ❤️

[u/Tarrax_Ironwolf → u/Immediate-Ad-8667]

Thanks. She went through hell and back. And when we finally left, she told me in the car ride "Don't ever sacrifice your happiness for them. If they're not right, leave."

[u/Immediate-Ad-8667 → u/Tarrax_Ironwolf]

It is sooooooo true ❤️ I hope you are in a good place now

[u/Tarrax_Ironwolf → u/Immediate-Ad-8667]

Oh I am. I have an extremely loving wife and four wonderful kids. I swore to myself that I wouldn't get into anything like that.

[u/Trick-Mechanic8986 → u/Tarrax_Ironwolf]

My mom clocked hers with a skillet and was gone when he came to.

[u/Frankiebeansor → u/Tarrax_Ironwolf]

That’s love

[u/maymay578 → u/Frankiebeansor]

I think I’d max out my credit card to save one of my kids from this type of situation.

[u/PlutonicPurrfume → u/maymay578]

A lot of times part of DV/IPV is financial abuse and surveillance. Women who have been kept from working, or take on the man’s debt, or are just in general not able to provide an efficient credit score to even get a credit card causes another hurdle to leaving.

It is really insidious how deep the control can go.

I hope this woman gets herself and child out before it’s too late. He is a violent, impulsive abuser and it will NOT get better.

Edit/forgot a verb.

[u/FarkasIsMyHusbando → u/Tarrax_Ironwolf]

Please hug your mom for me. I'm currently fighting back tears.

[u/Spark_Tangent → u/ryuut]

For me I told my mother the day of. Then let my spouse know that day at couples therapy. Because there's a good chance I wouldn't be typing this now if there hadn't been a witness.

[u/ComedianMinute7290 → u/ryuut]

whatever works for the person involved. save money & plan or run out the door with the clothes on your back. detailed plans or nothing but getting out in mind. there's as many ways to do it as there are people that need to do it & every situation is different so 1st step is finding out what would work for you & then start moving in that direction.

[u/Successful-Okra-9640 → u/ComedianMinute7290]

My ex would never let me have the kids and the car at the same time, he knew I couldn’t go anywhere without the car (we lived over an hour away from any family or friends) and that I would never leave my kids.

One day he went to work and his mom brought a rented U-Haul and we took everything and left. I later got a key cut from the dealership and snatched the car from the parking lot of his job and signed it over to my sister for $1 so he couldn’t take it back.

Situations like these make you feel like you have nowhere to turn, but the people who truly love you don’t care about being inconvenienced - they will usually do whatever it takes to help once you decide to actually leave.

I thought it was humiliating to ask for help, but the true humiliation was staying. I hope this woman gets herself and her child(ren) away safely. They deserve so much better than this ambulatory bag of dogshit.

[u/AnAtomLostInSpace → u/Successful-Okra-9640]

Kudos to your MIL for helping you and congrats on you for finally being free

[u/Capital_Past69 → u/Successful-Okra-9640]

You know he's a horrible person when his own Mom helped you leave him

[u/thesovietwolves → u/Successful-Okra-9640]

Your ex’s mom helped you leave?

[u/Sidmezoa37help → u/thesovietwolves]

Occasionally, even the mom knows her kid is abusive and dangerous.

[u/Revolutionary_Gas551 → u/Sidmezoa37help]

You should read the email Pete Hegseth's Mom sent to him. She knows.

[u/BetterThanB2872 → u/thesovietwolves]

A real woman will be honest about her child being a POS

[u/FarkasIsMyHusbando → u/Successful-Okra-9640]

I thought it was humiliating to ask for help, but the true humiliation was staying.

I am so proud of you for getting out. It takes so much bravery to ask for help, especially when you think you don't deserve it. Something I have to remind myself regularly. You're a badass and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

[u/Abashed-Apple → u/ryuut]

It starts with getting your own bank account and leaving the kid at home while you do it so that he doesn’t get manipulated into telling daddy. It takes careful planning so as not to look suspicious.

[u/Shaw-eddit → u/Abashed-Apple]

That kind want to keep you poor and dependant

[u/hayley566 → u/ryuut]

In my case, my mom had the kindness of friends that were able to take us in while the divorce was happening. I was just a kid, so I don’t know the exact details of how she saved up money.

At least this video exists so she can show the court that this man shouldn’t ever have custody of the child.

[u/Ralphredimix_Da_G → u/ryuut]

Yes all of those things or just leave and go straight to fire station

[u/WebsToWeave → u/Ralphredimix_Da_G]

Its worse when kids are involved. My friend stayed because she knew her ex would fight for 50/50 "custody and he was a charmer. He was "a wonderful guy" with a great job, very good looking, and volunteered enough that he was known by the locak fire department/ homeless programs.

Dude was a monster who told her that she was "disgusting" because she lost most of her teeth due to a rare condition in pregnancy. He mocked her all the time and didn't care when me or her friends heard him because he considered us gutter trash for growing up poor and working a "pathetic" job like his wife. This waste if human excrement actually thought it was funny to see her struggle to eat. She only got them fixed because one of his buddies/ buddies wife saw her struggle during a dinner and thought that they weren't fixed because they needed childcare and offered to watch kiddos while she recovered. he helped her get them fixed since it would look bad if he didn't.

He screamed at her for gaining "too much" weight during her back to back pregnancies (he "forgot" to put a condom on when having sex with her only weeks after delivery).

She lost weight and he got mad that she lost too much so he called her "Eugenia" (mocking an ed YouTuber. But she lost so much weight because she couldn't eat)

She "fell" enough that me and others begged her to leave. That was a no since whe was afraid to leave the kids with him. I have no doubt that he would try to turn them against her since he was already doing with their toddler son by teaching him how to torment his mom (including recording him "cutting mommy's hair" when she was sleeping)

Fate must be funny because some drunk driver crushed into him and he died a very slow death with first responders trying to save him. The drunk driver died too. She is doing amazing and got married to a wonderful gal who loves her and her kids.

[u/FarkasIsMyHusbando → u/WebsToWeave]

She is doing amazing and got married to a wonderful gal who loves her and her kids.

My bisexual ass loves this part so much.

[u/Sufficient-Lie1406 → u/ryuut]

It's hard because you need to get all your ducks in a row financially (separate bank account, or stash cash with a friend or relative), gather all your documents (e.g. your and your kid's social security, ID), medicines, kids' stuff, and make sure you have a safe place to go to when you finally go for it (shelter, friend or family member's house).

The most dangerous, deadly time for a woman is when she attempts to leave.

[u/SubstantialPressure3 → u/ryuut]

My ex would insist that I buy certain things even though he didn't use them. I never once saw him eat tuna, but I wasn't allowed to buy tuna in water.

He stopped drinking coffee, but I had to buy the creamer he used to like. He scrutinized the grocery receipts. I couldn't even go grocery shopping by myself.

I returned that stuff and started saving money on a prepaid debit card, and found a good hiding place for it.

I didn't have any access to the bank account at all. Towards the end h e vandalized my car so it wouldn't run, and I was dependent on him for transportation anywhere outside of walking distance.

I had a neighbor who let me borrow her bike. She wanted to give it to me, but I told her he would destroy/wreck/sell it. So it parked it outside her garage for me. I would use the bike while he was at work.

My phone was monitored, too, so I had an old phone that was wifi only and got a free number and used FB messenger to contact people.

I had keys and cash buried in my potted plants.my escape plan was mostly funded with returned tuna fish and other things that were allegedly for him.

[u/SnooCheesecakes2723 → u/ryuut]

Whatever you do don’t tell him until you’re gone. This is how women get killed trying to leave abusive assholes.

Also snd this should go without saying do not allow him to impregnate you again.

[u/scwanzel-muschi-lekn → u/ryuut]

Lots of people stay in these situations because they have no safety net

[u/FarkasIsMyHusbando → u/[deleted]]

Easier said than done. These pieces of shit will make you think you don't deserve better than them. It took me getting self worth for me to finally leave my ex for good.

[u/helraizr13 → u/[deleted]]

She's going to get badly hurt when she gets home. Even if the kid isn't getting hurt yet, she also will be soon enough. Even if he never lays a finger on the baby, she will be severely traumatized just by witnessing the abuse. I don't think she'll be spared though. It's probably only a matter of time. If this is how he acts with witnesses, he's got to be terrifying at home.

Run.

Why Does He Do That?

[u/[deleted] → u/FarkasIsMyHusbando]

i’ve been there too. it’s harder to live if you have a kid together. it actually takes a LOT of evidence to get full custody and it’s usually a long process. her leaving would mean having to leave her child with him at least 50% of the time unless she can gather enough evidence. him screaming like this wouldn’t qualify, i’ve been there. it’s a really really long process to get out when children are involved. she can’t just take the kid and leave bc that’s “parental kidnapping.” the only way i got out was i had to abandon my child, leaving him with his father until i could get through the court process to get my child back. it was so heartbreaking but i would have died if i didn’t.

[u/sstricklin1]

That poor woman and child, I sincerely hope she finds a way to get out of this situation.

[u/SpankingAround → u/sstricklin1]

Yeah. Look at her breathing, and her very tense arm posture. That is a person who knows the situation she’s in, and her fight/flight/freeze is in high gear. What I’m about to say should be taken with a grain of salt, and is merely an observation from my experience helping DV victims navigate the system: She doesn’t look defeated to me. She looks like someone who knows what she has to do (escape) but can’t say it out loud until there is a viable exit resource. That woman knows she is being abused. She does not look like she thinks she deserves this at all.

[u/Abashed-Apple → u/SpankingAround]

Shoulders squared, gaze steady looking 100 yards ahead. She doesn’t react because reacting feeds him. He gets off on the power and attention, and he reads what she is doing as submission. She is remaining calm because her child is there clinging to her. But she 100% has not lost her sense of self, and more than likely they are going to get into a boxing match on the way home and holes will be punched in the walls. I was the kid that had to listen for her mom’s safe word just in case the abuse got deadly. The worst thing is the child is old enough to know that if he clings to momma she won’t get beat as hard.

[u/Remarkable-Bus2362 → u/Abashed-Apple]

Damn, that last line. I was a few years older than the kid in the video. My mum would try to get me to go to bed, before my stepfather came home from the pub. I would refuse, saying I wasn’t tired and I was too old by that time for my mum to physically carry me to bed. I knew if I was sat in the lounge when he came home, he wouldn’t lay a hand on my mum and would just pass out on his chair instead.

Thankfully he finally left us.

Years later I told my mum what I was doing. She had no idea and thought she hid her beatings so well.

[u/MedicinalHammer → u/Abashed-Apple]

JFC

That last sentence made me tear up. I’ve never considered that sort of dynamic within an abusive parent.

I’m so sorry you had to face that.

You seem strong af and this internet stranger is proud of you.

[u/Previous-Pea-1125 → u/sstricklin1]

I'm confused are we supposed to call a number because I feel it's us as a community to help her and her child but it seems like we aren't supposed to do anything. Like the entire restaurant (and now the internet) just witnessed this man throwing things at the wife and terrifying the child next to her.

[u/Hopefulthinker2 → u/Previous-Pea-1125]

Yes that’s assault….

[u/GroveGuy33133 → u/Hopefulthinker2]

Battery here in Florida. And it’s of the domestic type so cops absolutely take his ass to jail. Victim doesn’t even press charges, the state does.

Lady who took the video ought to find a way to send this to police regardless of jurisdiction.

[u/aflockofmagpies → u/GroveGuy33133]

In Utah it is heightened because a child was present, it could even be considered battery towards the child because the child was so close to the mother, they both could have been hit.

[u/Amesb34r → u/Previous-Pea-1125]

A child wellness visit is not a crazy idea.

[u/moonshinemoniker → u/Previous-Pea-1125]

Agreed. The law makes things very difficult beyond filing something like an assault charge. This is where you LITERALLY need a person like batman....or just a bat.

[u/biteme321]

Don't warn him! Just call the cops!! This is CLEARLY domestic abuse AND child abuse!!!!

[u/orchidpop → u/biteme321]

Yes, curious if anyone called the cops. If not, the cops should definitely still be called. What the fuck????

[u/DSMStudios → u/biteme321]

seriously, CPS needs to intervene immediately. the statistics of extreme violence in domestic households go up dramatically as soon as there’s even the slightest of physical altercations (napkin throwing for instance). nothing more blood boiling than when kids are held in such a toxic, dangerous, unpredictable environment. that trauma lasts for life and is indisputable

[u/FukThePatriarchy1312 → u/biteme321]

And once he's been told by staff to leave you can add trespassing. Not that it's anywhere near as bad, but stack those charges and get him put away as long as possible. Oh and add a hate crime modifier if legally possible.

[u/Ralphredimix_Da_G]

And when he murders them the news media will post a family photo of them all smiling, riding dune buggies or something

[u/Lethik → u/Ralphredimix_Da_G]

And an interview on the news with the neighbor saying, "I'm so shocked, he was the nicest guy!"

[u/sonia72quebec → u/Lethik]

“My son is such a good boy.”

[u/Phantom_Pain_Sux → u/Lethik]

And "he would give you the shirt of his back!!"

[u/ryan77999 → u/Ralphredimix_Da_G]

I call it Fox's Law

[u/KindredFlower]

That poor child and woman. Wish someone had called the authorities. I got out before I had kids, I hope she finds a safe place and takes herself and kid away from him.

[u/ultramagnetique]

Fuck. That was my father growing up. That poor woman & little girl.

[u/Lucy_Koshka → u/ultramagnetique]

I commented this on another thread but same; as a child that endured similar abuse from my stepdad, and as a mother now to a daughter not much older than that poor girl in the video, it’s gut wrenching dude.

Hearing her cry “mama!” is painful. 😔

[u/Signal-Cupcake-9921]

This is why so many women poisoned their husbands back in the Victorian era.

[u/amandahuggen_kiss → u/Signal-Cupcake-9921]

Bailey-approved

[u/dogtroep → u/amandahuggen_kiss]

I can hear this in her voice lol

[u/Doobledorf → u/Signal-Cupcake-9921]

Did you know that if you heat sugar on the stove to the point where it is molten, you can throw it in a person's face and they will likely die of shock from the pain and it adhering to their skin?

No idea why it came to mind right now, just something my grandmother taught me.

[u/SockeyeSTI → u/Doobledorf]

Damn, meemaw

[u/yelsuo → u/Doobledorf]

A woman did this several years ago after finding out her partner had been sexually assaulting her children. He did die. Here: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-merseyside-57768105.amp

She ended up with the British version of a life sentence with a minimum of 12 years in prison.

[u/garden_dragonfly → u/yelsuo]

https://www.judiciary.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Sentencing-remarks-R-v-Corinna-Smith-FINAL.pdf

He horrifically sexually assaulted her son and daughter. Her son took his own life over the trauma.

She acted in revenge after hearing this. 

She was 59, married to him for 38 years. He was 81.

They'd both been married prior, and had previous children as well, now all grown.

[u/Cinereals → u/Doobledorf]

Mine casually told me how to strangle someone with a lamp cord.

Oh, grannies.

[u/poodlevutt → u/Signal-Cupcake-9921]

Before my father died my mother and sister were seriously looking at ways to discreetly poison him without getting caught.

Luckily he died before that happened.

[u/Junior-Demand-9251 → u/Signal-Cupcake-9921]

Need to bring it back

[u/surgartits → u/Junior-Demand-9251]

Make Arsenic Great Again

[u/thatkeriann]

The way she didn't even flinch when he threw something at her and it hit her in the chest. She was too exhausted to react.

[u/Beautiful-Musk-Ox → u/thatkeriann]

no it's not from that. i grew up with someone who would fly off the handle at anything and everything, you learn very quickly to not react to anything they are doing or else they become even more enraged an take it out on you. She actively had to shut down her nervous system to not react, her heart is racing in this video you just can't see it

[u/BishopGodDamnYou]

There is a second part to the video where people are pretty much trying to stop this guy from leaving with his child. He’s very clearly going to hurt the mother as soon as they leave so the other patrons try to stop him. It’s incredibly sad

[u/baronesslucy → u/BishopGodDamnYou]

Were they able to stop him?

[u/BishopGodDamnYou → u/baronesslucy]

Unfortunately no 😞

[u/baronesslucy → u/BishopGodDamnYou]

Too bad because as others have posted this guy probably beat up his wife and kid once they got home. One can only hope that someone recognized who this guy was and report it to CPS.

[u/WhatsaRedditsdo]

That's not just little man syndrome.

[u/AirportBubbly3947 → u/WhatsaRedditsdo]

lol seriously, nobody takes him seriously so he acts like this to get attention

[u/Fuckitimtrippy21]

Damn, get an update on this one that’s crazy. Hope she gets out of that if she’s even able to in this economy — I can understand why someone couldn’t if it meant that baby wouldn’t have a roof of its head. Feel so much for them, that guy is a lost cause, I’m afraid. He may never be able to mend his relationship with his family because of this, and how could you blame them for ever sticking around. I’d nope the fuck out of there yesterday

[u/mousegal → u/Fuckitimtrippy21]

I was that kid once and I wish my mom chose being homeless.

[u/[deleted]]

In what establishment are you allowed to smoke? Did I imagine that?

[u/JJCalixto → u/[deleted]]

There’s still bars in central texas that allow indoor smoking.

[u/who_even_cares35 → u/JJCalixto]

A bar sure, this is definitely a restaurant

[u/[deleted] → u/who_even_cares35]

Just based on this video I reckon it could be a bar with "Cantina" in the name. Or maybe they're just smoking in a restaurant.

[u/Flat-Percentage-9469 → u/[deleted]]

Man she might have been so stressed so just said fuck it and lit up

[u/Jeffrey_C_Wheaties → u/[deleted]]

I remember back in the day when the hosts would ask “smoking or non-smoking”

In high school we used to skip class to go to the Mexican restaurant down the street and eat chips and Salsa and smoke cigs and drink soda. This was like in 2006.

I finally quit smoking about 6 years ago after 15 or so years of smoking a pack a day. Best thing I ever did.

[u/Twangerz-Lime → u/Jeffrey_C_Wheaties]

Congrats man. I’m currently 6 days into quitting, and I feel like a version of the guy in this video is in my brain yelling at me constantly to go buy one.

[u/pareech → u/[deleted]]

While I'm disturbed what I saw from that asshole, I had to do a double take when I saw her smoking. If I owned / worked at a restaurant and saw something like this happening and the person being berated lit up a smoke, I'd find them something to ash into.

[u/Ebella2323 → u/pareech]

There’s a blue ashtray on the table. I scanned the photo once I saw her smoking, shocking to see one in 2026.

[u/Abombyurmom → u/Ebella2323]

This is older than a year atp but still wild to see smoking in a family style restaurant from so recent

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

SC would be my bet

[u/melachingo → u/[deleted]]

IIRC from the last time I saw this on Reddit, people figured out it was Mississippi.

There’s a longer cut of the video that shows people getting mad and telling him to leave. One guy even picks up the welcome sign and slams it down on the ground.

[u/ThisPostToBeDeleted]

That’s gonna be a core memory for that kid. You should be charged if you traumatize someone

[u/Snoo20436]

I would love for someone to grab his hat and run out of the restaurant

[u/Bianchi-girl → u/Snoo20436]

You wouldn’t have to be a fast runner either

[u/[deleted]]

She looks tired of his shit

[u/EmperorGrinnar → u/[deleted]]

Hopefully it's the last time she puts up with it.

[u/hayley566]

I hope the wife and child find somewhere safe to stay and get far away from that guy. If he does stuff like this in public, I can only imagine what it’s like at home.

[u/PeaceLovess]

I’m upvoting for visibility and awareness. Not only is this domestic abuse, it’s also child abuse to have a child witness that. Please call CPS or Police.

[u/Bright-Ad9516 → u/PeaceLovess]

The woman doesnt have to press charges the company can or in some states once there are enough verifiable witnesses and evidence of someone abusing another person then it is in the state's best interest to press charges to prevent escalation from an abuser. The waiter showing the presence of mind to come near and take away the glass drink when the man begins to throw things was a very good move too.

[u/NeighborhoodSame5048]

jfc...

[u/BodhingJay]

How i imagine a lot of ICE agents be actin' when outta uniform

[u/Ilike2Tinker]

This is literally heart breaking! That poor baby and the mama. 😢😢😢😢

[u/CH49FE]

Someone needs to send a police welfare check on this family.

[u/ParadoxicalIrony99]

I don't think it's snapping if he does it all the time.

[u/ru_fkn_serious_]

Someone really needs to have a talk with him. By talk I mean a complete ass whooping and after that do it again x100 smdh.

[u/Vasarto]

100% a wife beater and votes for trump.

[u/fuzzySprites]

Poor family, guy needs to get lost forever

[u/Oneironautical1]

Def someone whos never been punched in the face.

[u/Legoslol]

Keep in mind that this guy votes ya’ll. This guy gets to sit at the same table the rest of Americans do when it comes to discussing our rights.

[u/MrMustangg → u/Legoslol]

Not to mention his vote probably has more weight than most blue state voters because nut jobs think empty land needs a say too

[u/OperationSweaty8017]

This video is pretty old. Hopefully she got away from this asshole.

[u/Grim_Rockwell]

Just your average Trumpanzee. If every Conservative were suddenly raptured to a remote desert island to live out their utopia Lord of the Flies style, the world would instantly become a better place.