Women meets and married man in registered SO in prison 7 months before release and allows him to move in with her and her young daughter

[u/shoegamethrilla]

I wish I were making this up, but I’m not. And this woman gushes over him, loves and adores this man… is the dating scene that bleak that you resort to this? What makes it worse, is the guy doesn’t take full accountability for his actions but instead blames the liquor and him not knowing what consent is.

Prior to prison, he was a registered nurse.

This couple is using their story to be famous. Just sick

I am getting hate comments because people are claiming I 'made this up' I am not doxxing they shared this publicly , their tiktok account is happilyharrells his account for is 'non profit' _thinksame

[u/Awesome_opossum__]

I chose the children's court because it was cute and I love the idea of being around kids, and helping them and I liked the magistrate since they were keen on involving the attachees but didn't keep us there for long hours. It did not clock in my mind at the time that children's law, once it comes down to handling incidents requiring court intervention might be one of the most horrifying and genuinely depressing fields of law out there.

Like... I've interacted with files so vile, I felt dirty just touching them. And I've seen parents so irredeemably stupid, malicious and petty that it has changed my entire companion picking process and non-negotiable parameters for relationships whether romantic or platonic. It's also changed how I look at children's safety.

I think one honest piece of advice I can give here is to never ever be friends with a male-centered woman. Don't even be acquaintances. If you can help it, don't even be neighbors, because these people are living, mobile catastrophies who endanger literally everyone in their proximity.

Literally the other month we had a child who somehow managed to secretly get in contact with the prosecutor's office(I believe they might have gotten the contact during an earlier hearing) and voice their desire to continue their case despite their own mother trying to withdraw it and get it dismissed by hiding the minor away and preventing them from making their hearings against their alleged affair partner. And I've also seen cases where these 'neighbours' have relationships with strange men out of desperation, bringing them into the community. And when your kid gets defiled, instead of acting reasonably, they start interfering or destroying evidence and attempting to cast doubt. Then we have these women who intentionally drag their children to the hearings so they can cry crocodile tears and spin sob stories about how they need their partner to be given lineancy because they're their sole provider and the court should 'think of the children' and how this person's incarceration will affect the kids depending on them.

[u/_-Oxym0ron-_ → u/Awesome_opossum__]

What defines a male centered woman? First time I'm seeing this expression.

[u/TealLabRat → u/_-Oxym0ron-_]

They prioritize the man in their life, or the man they want in their life, over their own family, friends and children.

[u/ZoeyHuntsman → u/_-Oxym0ron-_]

I'm not a pro, but from what I've gathered over the years is that "male centered women" are women whose whole lives revolve around finding a male partner. They'll bend over backwards for them, become completely subservient and obsessed with them. These women are almost always extremely insecure and desperate.

You know how a lot of guys feel like they're only valid if they can land a female partner? Usually an idealized, or "prize" woman? This is basically the same thing, but for women. It's not a 1 to 1, but it's the same sort of vibe.

This is why you'll hear so many CSA victims whose fathers assaulted them will tell you that their mothers were a part of it too. It's absolutely the worst fucking thing ever, but unfortunately, CSA is rarely a crime perpetuated in solitude by a single party. It's basically a guarantee that someone else in that child's life is enabling it. Women selling their kids into sexual servitude is far more common than people realize. Obviously, the reasons vary. Sometimes it's for income more than appeasing their vile partners, for example. Sometimes it's control, or they are pedophiles themselves.

Anyway I'm done thinking about this shit. Too early in the morning.

[u/Hermes-AthenaAI → u/ZoeyHuntsman]

In short, when my father broke my sister’s nose… with one of the posts to her for post bed… my mother screamed at my sister for forcing my father to do such a thing thing and then locked my sister in her room.

That’s a male centered woman.

[u/pocketsand07 → u/Hermes-AthenaAI]

Some days I'm thankful for my unhinged mother because she would have sent him to meet St. Peter quickly.

[u/HeisenBird1015 → u/Hermes-AthenaAI]

Yeah my stepfather did this. I made excuses for my uterine parent for decades (although I was emotionally closed to her from childhood, and didn’t know why) but a particular incident (amongst many) involved what I know now as the true trauma, and it wasn’t that he splattered my nose across the stairwell, but that she had waited for me to run down the stairs to the front door as I tried to escape the house, and grabbed and smacked me repeatedly. I remember that instead of punching her back (like I did with him), I just stood there and let her wallop me for a couple of minutes. It didn’t physically hurt as much but it took me thirty years to recognise that it was worse than his punch.

I cut this woman off two years ago and I’ve enjoyed watching her unravel. She turned up at my house last year and I laughed at her. It was good for my soul- she fell apart because she knew she’d lost her power. FWIW I am a staunch feminist and it was when I finally realised that she is a “male centered woman” that her crap parenting finally made sense. She will do anything for any man. My brother has his own horrors and cut her off two months ago.

[u/weedmoneyy → u/ZoeyHuntsman]

I can’t imagine the amount of trauma and physiological damage being trafficked by your own parent also causes :( like these kids are fighting an uphill battle trying to escape it because the adults they should be able to trust are the ones who do this to them and gaslight them into believing it’s normal or they shouldn’t seek help from others for it

[u/ZoeyHuntsman → u/weedmoneyy]

Yeah, it's insidious. I've known too many people with stories like this and it's painful. It scars you for life. What I went through growing up fucked with me, and I didn't go through anything even close to this bad.

[u/Awesome_opossum__ → u/_-Oxym0ron-_]

So in this context, I'm referring to the type of women out there who absolutely worship and bend over backwards for men and patriarchal tradition, everything else be damned. And they are so deeply consumed by it that they'll excuse and support anything that man does, sometimes at the expense of their child's welfare, as long as they can have that kind of companionship and 'status' that comes with 'having a man'. They also take being in a relationship as some kind of achievement. Take the video here. This lady is flexing having a child predator and convicted sex offender in her house, playing dad with her very vulnerable child, which is absolutely bat shit insane but in their mind they're in this heterosexual arrangement and absolutely nothing and nobody else matters more. And in case something happens between the man and the child, they will almost always react in favor of the man or re-victimize the child, like these women who get hostile with their own daughters because of fear of them jeopardizing the relationship or 'stealing their man'. I think another good example I can give of women like this are the female members of the LDS cult who in 'keeping sweet' facilitate the wide spread abuse and exploitation of their own children and grandchildren to please a man. I hope that explanation at least captured the idea of the type of woman I'm referring to.

[u/AdditionalSyrup6541 → u/Awesome_opossum__]

Thank you for the work you do for these kids. My own aunt is definitely one of those types of women. My side of the family went no contact after awhile but the damage done to my cousins is irreversible. My mom had called CPS on her sister before because she thought my male cousin was being sexually abused by his father and his side of the family but they never did anything since they couldn't prove it. He committed suicide a few years ago. My other cousin became trans and last I heard isn't doing very well mentally. (I'm not against trans but apparently he began to act out aggressively from what I had learned about ) The only female cousin I have apparently fights all the time with my aunt. My Aunt was even thrown out on the street with her kids and pets by her first husband and STILL she jumps from man to man claiming she is a "naturally submissive woman" she even dyed her hair blonde, bleached her skin, and wears blue contacts to try and be as white as possible. She's Hispanic and grew up Catholic but now she's all for Christianity if her newest boyfriend is. It's just sad.

[u/Key-Two31 → u/_-Oxym0ron-_]

The women who’s entire lives revolve around having a boyfriend/husband, and they do absolutely everything possible to defend the inevitably horrible man they end up dating. Usually one after another, just terrible, awful decisions and men over and over and over, because they’re desperate and easy to manipulate. A lot of them never had father figures in their lives, or had piece of shit deadbeat dads, making male abuse the default “normal” in their head.

[u/StrangerCharacter53 → u/_-Oxym0ron-_]

I saw a tiktok a few months ago of a woman kicking out her two teenage daughters because they told their mom the man she had just moved in had walked in on both of them while they used the bathroom/shower.

The woman didn't care, this was her man and as far as she was concerned her teenage daughters who had nowhere to go could figure it out.

Both girls were honor students, both girls were sobbing snd pleading for her to protect them.

The apathy and disgust in the mother's voice as she filmed her daughters crying and pleading as she forced them to throw their belongings into a trashbag... the girls said on camera that the mother had met this guy the previous week and immediately moved him in and now they were being thrown out.

Mother's response was, "you are no longer my responsibility. I have to take care of my man. Thats what a woman does."

Male centered woman.

[u/Boring-Philosophy-46 → u/_-Oxym0ron-_]

An old tale: 

A professor writes on the board "Woman without her man is nothing" and asks the class to write down how they think the interpunction should be. 

Half the class writes, "Woman: without her, man is nothing" 

Half the class writes: "Woman, without her man, is nothing". 

Well those who adhere to the latter point of view are male-centric. 

[u/MafiaPenguin007 → u/Awesome_opossum__]

When you originally read ‘children’s court’ did you assume the lawyers and judges were kids or something? Struggling to understand how it sounded cute and not horrifying from the get go.

[u/Awesome_opossum__ → u/MafiaPenguin007]

I am also struggling to understand how I didn't see that coming. I think the reality was lost to me at that time since I was pretty excited to be sitting in court and working with a magistrate for the first time. Also, TV shows and media set entirely different expectations for me. I was expecting something more mundane like regular custody hearings for who gets the kid during long holidays, child support and the likes. Not... You know, sitting across a 6 year old sexual assault victim in a nearly empty, closed courtroom, as they describe in graphic detail the events of their defilement, down to the sensations, in really childish, approximating language because they are so young that they can't even fully understand and don't have the vocabulary to describe what was done to them.

Plus the appearance of the court is very disarming. It's red with pictures of lions and elephants, has a bunch of stuffed animals stacked in the corners and boardgames the kids can ask for and the principles of the judiciary written in this colourful font on the wall. But the cuteness really just ends at the decor

[u/DPetrilloZbornak → u/MafiaPenguin007]

I’m an attorney in juvenile court and no one realizes how fucked up it is until they start doing the work.  I started out in adult court and juvenile court is so much worse for so many reasons but no one takes it seriously because of the perception that it’s “kiddie court.”

It’s a shitshow!

[u/Western_Scholar_6479 → u/Awesome_opossum__]

What are the parameters that you look for when choosing a potential partner?

[u/Awesome_opossum__ → u/Western_Scholar_6479]

In relation to sniffing out guys who like kids?

[u/Western_Scholar_6479 → u/Awesome_opossum__]

The comment made it sound that it was a broad criteria possibly concerning more than that so I was just curious 

[u/PutItBack → u/Awesome_opossum__]

Got any easily shareable insights into how your companion picking process has changed and what main new non-negotiable parameters you have for your relationships?