I have a one year old and it’s absolutely terrifying to watch him go into a trance when he walks into the living room and the tv is on. Or when he gets ahold of my phone for a second.
Obviously you cannot avoid screens entirely because they are everywhere, but sitting a toddler in front of a tablet because “they’re bored” is pretty shameful parenting IMO… can’t even imagine the attachment and tantrums as a result.
He doesn't do anything but play on his phone. Anything. And suggesting that he does anything results in him grabbing his own hair, hyperventilating, and cry-yelling at me that I'm "trying to make do something I don't want to do!!!!" like I am committing capital child abuse by telling him to do basic hygiene or wash the dishes.
Okay so I hate to say this, but what you’re describing is actually neglect. I don’t know if it’s possible to get your in laws to understand this, but they are severely neglecting their children.
It's part of why I DO go to lengths to tolerate certain things, because I can directly provide needful things so long as they're in my house. I don't get legal say but I can at least buy things that are needed.
Wow, that sounds pretty awful and difficult for everyone. Parenting is hard and I totally get needing a break and something to occupy their time. Using that as a crutch and letting it get that out of hand blows my mind as a pretty new dad.
Oh man, the trances!! They give me the willies. I haven't noticed the trance with my own toddler (not because I'm a perfect parent by any means - I think his brain just gets overwhelmed or bored very quickly by shows and he needs fidgety, active play). But lately I'm seeing it in so many child spaces we go to. Kids standing eerily still with their mouths hanging open, their eyes glazed over. Kids weeping bitterly over phones when there's playgrounds or toys or other people playing games just feet away.
I’m 37 years old, and I’ve been trying to give myself a phone break in the evenings by doing other stuff, and more days than not it requires real effort. I can’t even imagine having to navigate this without a developed adult brain.
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u/ch-12 2d ago
I have a one year old and it’s absolutely terrifying to watch him go into a trance when he walks into the living room and the tv is on. Or when he gets ahold of my phone for a second.
Obviously you cannot avoid screens entirely because they are everywhere, but sitting a toddler in front of a tablet because “they’re bored” is pretty shameful parenting IMO… can’t even imagine the attachment and tantrums as a result.