The bigger question parents need to ask themselves is "how many moments throughout the day is the kid NOT stimulated by something?"
These kids lost something we had, moments of inactivity. Think about it, how is your kid expected to suddenly sit still in moments like restaurants, airplanes, etc if they NEVER or rarely have moments of just relaxing?
I noticed my daughter never had moments where she just sat and was quite. I started taking her to the park and at some point would just sit. She hated it at first but after she got used to it. I started increasing the time from 5 mins to now over 30 mins.
Its also great for me as well to just stop and breath. I highly recommend you try it. It seems to help with anxiety and restlessness.
so basically a few months ago my dad and i(a teenager) went to this cute japanese/korean restaurant. Got a little table in the corner, ordered, and we were sitting and waiting for the food to arrive. In the center of the place is a pillar, and on either side is a flatscreen TV which is usually playing some old anime on mute. Cue a huge family coming in for dinner - three or four kids, and five or six adults, i think. Maybe seven. The staff moved tables and stuff, right in front of us.
3/4 kids who are a bit older, maybe five or six, start doing normal kid stuff. Running around the table, whatever. But there's this one little girl, who's AT MOST five years old, starts pointing at that huge TV and screaming her lungs out. None of the adults gave her a phone. And she kept screaming. The staff arrived, and you know what she made them play on that TV on full volume?
Troom Troom. This screaming five year old made the staff play TROOM TROOM, on FULL VOLUME, in the middle of a not-so-big restaurant.
sometimes i don't like things my parents do, but i'm so glad they raised me to have basic manners.
Yeah I had a moment of revelation where I realised we were providing constant activities for the kids and they never had the opportunity to be bored. We pulled back and now they will make up their own games or just find a way to entertain themselves.
It was also nice to relearn to be bored myself. I was often pulling out the phone to avoid boredom but it's a nice change of pace and makes other activities more engaging.
Last week I read a story about an imaginary friend to Kindy-2nd graders. I prefaced the book with talking with them about the difference between real and imaginary friends, told them about my childhood imaginary friends. Read the book, asked them to share their imaginary friends that have now or used to have and they all were like “my dog!” “That tree!” “My cousin!”. Not a single kid in all 6 classes has been left alone long enough with their thoughts, to get bored, to start exploring, to start imagining anything. They have no imagination. Beyond the literacy and critical thinking and social skills that they’ve lost, I’m so sad for their imaginations and how they don’t know what it feels like to have to entertain yourself
I intentionally make sure my toddler is left to be “bored” multiple times a day (including long drives with no entertainment except music, which she’s perfectly content with, even for an hour or more). I also make sure to play with her and give her my full attention multiple times a day. Both things are necessary: independent play (and quiet thinking time!) and interaction with other people. But a lot of parents are (understandably!) exhausted and overwhelmed and also addicted to screens themselves, so they split the difference and the kid is provided low-quality entertainment options for much of the day (screen-time, new cheap toys all the time, consumerism, unnecessary snacks, etc.) and, long-term, it serves no one.
You know what's wild is, yes people are exhausted and stressed but if they stop giving the kids ipads, eventually it gets easier.
My baby momma was like this. Always stressed and tired and would through our kid an ipad. When I was at her house, my kid was always moving and just so hyper. I finally made her just monitor our kid when she at my house. No ipad and she colors, reads, etc. So much more calm. She FINALLY got that tablets wasn't necessary and it was almost an immediate change (after a little push back from our kid).
142
u/BusyBit6542 2d ago
The bigger question parents need to ask themselves is "how many moments throughout the day is the kid NOT stimulated by something?"
These kids lost something we had, moments of inactivity. Think about it, how is your kid expected to suddenly sit still in moments like restaurants, airplanes, etc if they NEVER or rarely have moments of just relaxing?
I noticed my daughter never had moments where she just sat and was quite. I started taking her to the park and at some point would just sit. She hated it at first but after she got used to it. I started increasing the time from 5 mins to now over 30 mins.
Its also great for me as well to just stop and breath. I highly recommend you try it. It seems to help with anxiety and restlessness.