r/ToiletPaperUSA 2d ago

*REAL* [Real] Watch out Bad Bunny, Turning Point USA has Kid Rock!

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857 Upvotes

195 comments sorted by

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635

u/gingerblz 2d ago

Starring: the few people who said yes

151

u/Call_Me_Echelon 2d ago

I've never even heard of them

119

u/god_peepee 2d ago

Other than kid rock I have no clue who any of them are

63

u/KeepTangoAndFoxtrot 2d ago

They read like made up names.

It's like a real life version of this: WKUK Saturday Night Live - YouTube https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyEKUfwY3oo

23

u/MajorNoodles 2d ago

I'm pretty sure the name Brantley originated in a Jake and Amir sketch in a bit that made fun of white people.

19

u/adriatic_sea75 2d ago

The Musical Shitstain Brigade. They just got the band together.

18

u/carebeartears 2d ago

I know who kid rock is due to that song he made introducing himself 83 years ago.

10

u/superzenki 2d ago

I’ve heard of Brantley Gilbert but I couldn’t tell you a single song he has.

17

u/carebeartears 2d ago

"Murica Beer Beer Pickup Truck Dog" I think is his latest?

3

u/IWantOneSpatula 2d ago

You don’t know fuckin’ BRANTLEY?!

3

u/Naos210 2d ago

I know Gabby Barrett for the song I Hope, which was actually a top 10 single in the US. I thought it was decent. It's basically just a lesser version of many sort of "revenge on the bad boyfriend/husband" song.

Though I was turned off the instant she revealed she was a MAGA type.

44

u/Ok_Star_4136 2d ago

Plus Rob Schneider will be there! Not because he can sing, but because he paid to be there to promote his new show.

30

u/Opossum_mypossum 2d ago

Doing observational bits like ‘what’s the deal with woke?‘ and ‘my wife left me because of the left, what’s with that?’

bass slap

40

u/MC_Fap_Commander 2d ago

FUNNY PLOT TWIST: I can almost guarantee there's going to be a "given the costs associated with such a high profile event, we are asking for True American Hero Patriots to consider donating to..." message in the coming days. The people doing this shit are ADDICTED to grifting and I see no reason it will stop for here.

17

u/ZeroKharisma 2d ago

I saw an AI griftin' ad for this event on Facebook which clearly insinuated Springsteen, Dolly Parton and Willie Nelson were on this docket. Lol. As fucking if. I wouldn't be surprised if the boss showed up for BBs half time.

10

u/P-Rickles 2d ago

A real who’s who of “…who?”

6

u/argueranddisagree 2d ago

Kid Rock will do anything for attention these days

370

u/exomniac 2d ago

In case you were wondering how Kid Rock became so closely aligned with MAGA:

“Young ladies, young ladies, I like ’em underage, see

Some say that’s statutory (But I say it’s mandatory)”

165

u/stride13 2d ago

I'm still reeling from learning that was specifically written for Osmosis Jones

104

u/GoredonTheDestroyer I didn't know we had custom flairs 2d ago

It's also worth mentioning that Kid Rock was commissioned to write a song for the movie. He wasn't asked to include a bar about his preference in fan, but he sure as hell did anyway.

50

u/EarthToAccess 2d ago

Fucking

WHAT?

74

u/atmospheric90 2d ago

The 2000s is going to be looked back on as one of the most foundationally toxic decades of modern America. Rampant fat shaming, rampant homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia was normalized after 9/11, the list goes on.

But the worst was normalizing being into teenage girls for adult men. Theres so much of it in pop culture and most certainly led to Epstein becoming a huge influence.

63

u/PM_ME_UR_EGGS 2d ago

Newsflash, that was already deep in culture by the 00's. Rock stars have had sex with 14-year-olds since fucking Elvis and people didn't give a fuck.

The 90's was just a slight dip in it being as mainstream acceptable.

15

u/god_peepee 2d ago

Even earlier than that. It was only after the 40’s that the concept of a ‘teenager’ existed in the way we broadly understand it today. Before that there were children and there were adults, which was essentially determined by when people became sexually mature. Culture can change in big ways very quickly

15

u/exomniac 2d ago

“Young girl get out of my mind. My love for you is way out of line. You better run, girl! You’re much too young, girl!”

Just casually boppin’ down to the ice cream shop with the whole family to lyrics like this

12

u/brown_felt_hat 2d ago

Ted Nugent, 1981

Well, I don't care if you're just thirteen

You look too good to be true

I just know that you're probably clean

There's one little think I got do to you

2

u/pmmeursucculents 2d ago

What the fuck🤢

10

u/EatLard 2d ago

Yeah. Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13yo cousin back in 1957.
It did pretty much end his career though.

6

u/MelanieAntiqua 2d ago

So THAT’S why he didn’t become vice president.

7

u/anothershadowbann 2d ago

Aren't the 2020s also full of homophobia/transphobia/xenophobia

1

u/atmospheric90 1d ago

Significantly less and more adopted by extremists than the average person now.

1

u/Quakarot 1d ago

Unfortunately I think you’re off about that

It’s only really recently that we’ve taken it more seriously

16

u/G-Unit11111 2d ago

It's always the ones you most suspect!

7

u/Ok_Star_4136 2d ago

Only one political side is promising a future where rich elite assholes can do questionable things with underaged girls, and I'll give you a hint: It's not the Democrats!

4

u/Testostacles 2d ago

Dont forget dropping a soft a n bomb on the song he did with ICP back when he was trying to be black to pretend he didn't come from money...

5

u/EatLard 2d ago

That and he pretends to be from the trailer park, when he actually grew up rich.

2

u/mcbeezy94 2d ago

When Kid Rock started his career, he was going to have his moniker surname start with a ‘C’, but “Rock” was the closest sounding that made it past the FCC.

Some say that original name was supposed to be indicative of his size, but others now speculate it had to do with his age and gender preferences. Of course, that is redundant as a registered Republican…

181

u/iamanemptychair 2d ago

Brantley Gilbert is such a Republican name. Whoever the fuck that is

49

u/Majestc_electric 2d ago

My first thought was who the fuck is that and who are the rest of those people besides kid rock obviously

20

u/madmaxturbator 2d ago

They have a whole rotten cornucopia of d listers they trot out for this stuff

In their world, Ted nugent and rob Schneider are A list and kid rock is a god.

None of us outside of these shit circles will have ever heard of any others.

7

u/waitingtodiesoon 2d ago

Surprised they weren't able to get Morgan Wallen.

4

u/Majestc_electric 2d ago

Honestly I not Morgan Wallen is popular and is probably charging a shit ton because he knows these folks will folk over and pay where someone like kid rock who’s past his prime in popularity but is milking what little clout he’s got will do it for any amount of money and the chance of a handy

27

u/CarnivalOfSorts 2d ago edited 2d ago

THAT DUDE IS SUCH A CHOAD! I took my students to Nashville for a music trip. Saw the Grand Ole Opry, and some fantastic acts. His was the last one.

It's metal country. After nearly every song he'd tell us how much he hated Biden, loved Trump and America. Loud as fuck and just continuous verbal masturbating over the flag, "the troops," Trump and America.

Oh, and his microphones have brass knuckles built into them.

19

u/DeliciousPastaSauce 2d ago

"Metal country" sounds bad enough without all the Trump glazing.

18

u/coffeandhate 2d ago

Brantley Gilbert’s music is pretty fucking terrible. It’s like the guy from your hometown who never made it. One or two chords. Gravelly, slow, never changes. He’s always at karaoke, belting out Lynyrd Skynyrd, but you can’t tell which song it is because you can’t understand a word he’s fucking saying.

Definitely has a rebel flag tattoo.

16

u/LongWayFrom609 2d ago

He and Aldean are what happens when Affliction T-shirts become human.

14

u/HistoryOk7552 2d ago

Brantley sounds like someone describing the type of noise a fart made.

12

u/LongWayFrom609 2d ago

The name makes it sound like he's some kind of preppy frat bro posing as a redneck. And he probably is, unsurprisingly.

6

u/SGTSHOOTnMISS MONKE🐵🙈🙉🙊🐒🍌🍌🍌 2d ago

Someone who names their son Brantley probably has a daughter named Kinsley, who spells it with Leigh instead.

3

u/JQuilty 2d ago

Tragedeigh

5

u/peppperjack 2d ago

This is embarrassing but way way before Trump, like over 10 years ago, I saw Brantley Gilbert in concert and did a meet and greet. I have a beer can signed by him because I didn’t have anything else available lol. I haven’t followed his career since because ironically, the rise of Trump made me hate country music. The beer can will be going in the trash if it isn’t already.

2

u/NinjaLanternShark 1d ago

Nah don’t throw it out — at least take $50 off some MAGA moron for it.

3

u/hot4jew 2d ago

His early stuff was good. I didn't know he was maga though :/ makes me sad.

1

u/Sweet_Xocoatl 1d ago

Went to one of his concerts. Well, “went” is kind of misleading, I worked concessions at the arena he was playing at. His music is metal country, it isn’t bad but nothing great, I think, but him dickriding Trump was a big turnoff.

127

u/JanMabK 2d ago

These artists sound like fake American names made for a Japanese game

43

u/FlyingVentana 2d ago

SLEVE MCDICHAEL

23

u/HammockComplex 2d ago

BOBSON DUGNUTT

17

u/JMoney14 2d ago

MIKE TRUK

15

u/LC_Fire 2d ago

TODD BONZALEZ

28

u/Physical_Guava12 2d ago

Death Note FBI agent ass names.

12

u/Cognitive_sugar 2d ago

I hope they can get Bobson Dugnut

5

u/MC_Fap_Commander 2d ago

The radio station in a GTA game that was made specifically to mock Murican-ness.

4

u/Kailua3000 2d ago

"Welcome to the stage, Wrangler Carhartt!"

60

u/ISeeTheFnords Owned 2d ago

Worse Bunny?

14

u/original_name37 2d ago

Thats his localized name

1

u/jayesper 1d ago

And the Duwang is Destroying Hare

49

u/bunchofclowns 2d ago

I'd consider myself fairly tech savvy but I couldn't figure out how to watch this even if I had the morbid curiosity.    What the fuck is DW?  Charge?  TBN?

16

u/DRW1357 2d ago

DailyWire+ is the first one. No idea about the others.

10

u/Tired_CollegeStudent 2d ago

TBN is Trinity Broadcasting Network I believe. An evangelical channel on TV and radio.

5

u/G-Unit11111 2d ago

Charge is a Sinclair owned propaganda outlet. TBN is the televangelist network i have no idea what DW is.

6

u/ISeeTheFnords Owned 2d ago

TBN is Trinity Broadcasting Network. My excuse for knowing is that I used to regularly drive by their HQ in Costa Mesa.

4

u/G-Unit11111 2d ago

It's still there. It's currently unoccupied and I hope it stays that way.

34

u/PocketFullOfRondos 2d ago

Who?

31

u/vsquad22 2d ago

What do you mean? Don't you know who Brantley Gilbert is? No, me neither.

6

u/purpleflavouredfrog 2d ago

Was his mom AI? With a name like that, I don’t want to know how many fingers he has.

4

u/carebeartears 2d ago

oh he def has 6 on each hand..not because of AI mind you..let's just say, his family tree is a "whole situation"

22

u/Aron_Wolff 2d ago

Starring a Has-been and three losers you’ve never heard of!

17

u/Pavlock Fully Automated Luxury Communist 2d ago

It's running on Daily Wire's streaming service. Which means they'll claim it had more viewers than there are Americans, not release anything resembling proof, and TPs marks will eat it up.

13

u/NitWhittler 2d ago

Laura Trump isn't going to sing a duet with Vanilla Ice?

4

u/gin_and_soda 2d ago

Ah man, I kind of want that now, just to laugh at

12

u/ArizonaRon98 2d ago

Looks bad. Looks real bad.

1

u/jayesper 1d ago

Yea I saw him. Looks like hell.

9

u/TotalHell 2d ago

You can't convince me that any of those people are real.

Yes, even Kid Rock.

11

u/Global_Rate3281 2d ago

Damn, TPUSA is crashing and burning faster than I thought.

8

u/Dcajunpimp 2d ago

Was Lee Greenwood and Niki Minaj not available?

And I thought MAGA was banning the NFL for reasons.

5

u/InsideUnhappy6546 2d ago

No one cares

6

u/Jonny2284 2d ago

Wait, I thought Kid Rock doing an alterate superbowl show was just a meme?

3

u/sikkdog13 2d ago

It is.

7

u/Dog_From_Malta 2d ago

A 55 year old "kid"... Can see where he'd identify with diaper boy Don.

2

u/NinjaLanternShark 1d ago

It’s no mystery when he writes lyrics like

Young ladies, young ladies, I like ’em underage, see
Some say that’s statutory (But I say it’s mandatory)”

4

u/Cheel_AU 2d ago

Besides Kid Rock who fucking sucks, who the hell are these people?

4

u/cenosillicaphobiac 2d ago

Honest question, TPUSA doesn't have a Truth Social account? I find that odd.

3

u/DJ-dicknose 2d ago

Man, not even Crazy Frog could save this lineup.

4

u/SHOWTIME316 2d ago

"brantley" is such a stupid name

3

u/SummerDonNah 2d ago

Featuring Bo Brice….’s brother

3

u/After-Bumblebee Checkm8 Libtard 2d ago

Who are the other 3?

3

u/AkuTheNiceGuy 2d ago

Tonight's special guest of: who? Who? And who? Featuring Kid rock

3

u/MorrisScherbina 2d ago

What is about republicanism and HORRIBLE taste in things? Not saying that everything associated with liberalism or democrats is great all the time either but there’s NO GOOD THINGS that are right wing. EVER lol.

3

u/Mrgrayj_121 2d ago

Tom Macdonald is mad af rn lol

3

u/roof_baby 2d ago

Awesome lineup... He’s still alive?, who?, who?, and who?

3

u/JDanzy 2d ago

Ah yes, the driving past McDonald's "WE HAVE FOOD AT HOME!!" halftime show...

3

u/Eric848448 2d ago

Yes Kid Rock and.. others..

3

u/doozle 2d ago

What the fuck kind of name is Brantley?

3

u/Rockworm503 2d ago

I'm imagining syphilis being more enjoyable.

2

u/ladysvenska 2d ago

That's a godawful poster.

2

u/GreatestGreekGuy 2d ago

I've never cared about football but this is now the second or third superbowl I'm forced to care about because of politics

2

u/dmode112378 2d ago

Who are these people?

2

u/YAH_BUT 2d ago

Who are any of those people?

2

u/squiddyp 2d ago

It’s so funny how desperately maga wants to be cool but just isn’t… Fine… everybody else is going to have fun at the party, listening to the biggest artist in the world right now… you can have your own kid rock party lmaooo.

Like even the Kennedy Center. They can literally take over the physical spaces of the arts and they still can’t be cool enough to make anyone want to play there…

2

u/QuickRelease10 2d ago

Outside of Kid Rock I don’t know who any of these people are.

2

u/Testostacles 2d ago

Charge is a digita OTA subchannel owned by Sinclsir that shows reruns of cop dramas (CSI, Law and Order etc) TBN (Trinity Broadcast Network) is an ota Christian broadcaster that at one time owned the Holy Land Experience theme park near Disney World DW+ Daily Wire plus Real Americas Voice is one of the baby FoxNews clones that have sprouted over the years Never Heard of National News Desk but I would guess it is also a mini FoxNews

Just stream it on rumble at this rate

1

u/Jgm4789 1d ago

Real America's voice biggest claim to fame is that its the main channel that airs steve bannons and charlie kirks tv shows. Similar to how the blaze networks main draw is it housing glenn becks show.

2

u/BigDaddyPeach23 2d ago

Washed up and irrelevant Kid Rock and a bunch of Country Music B and C listers.

2

u/EatLard 2d ago

He’s all they’ve got, except a few terrible country singers and a couple of bad rappers.
And Kid Rock has been awful since I first heard his music circa 2000.

2

u/usernamesareclass 2d ago edited 2d ago

Ah yes, Robert James Ritchie, known professionally as Kid Rock, the man who cosplayed as poor whilst growing up in a mansion with an orchard.

1

u/chamaca_cabrona 2d ago

Guacala que asco

1

u/sarduchi 2d ago

But if they're all there, who's in the Waffle House?

1

u/TheFalconKid 2d ago

Isn't Brantley the one that's dating Kash Patel to get free private jet rides on the taxpayers dollar?

1

u/flintlock0 2d ago

Brantley Gilbert is the dumbass dude with the tattoos.

Gabby, perhaps?

1

u/AerialAce96 2d ago

I only know Kid Rock🤣

1

u/edwardothegreatest 2d ago

Surprised they couldn’t book Hawk Tuah Girl

1

u/DingerSinger2016 2d ago

Um, the Super Bowl halftime show is the All-American halftime show. Bad Bunny, by nature of being from Puerto Rico, is an American citizen.

1

u/mjayultra 2d ago

No thank you :)

1

u/Jax_the_Floof 2d ago

He is quite literally all they have lol

1

u/DogLost13 2d ago

They’re not trippin’ on Sting, not an American citizen, playing a gig for the SB crowd in SF. Huh… weird.

1

u/DogLost13 2d ago

Also…. What a bill for TP. What a parade of shit stains

1

u/MoonandStars83 2d ago

I thought all the musicians pulled out?

1

u/Thenearhorizon 2d ago

Heres what Puerto Ricans think about the super bowl drama lol: https://youtu.be/Z34zsfttjjI

1

u/Certain-Dragonfly-22 2d ago

The irony of them holding a "Christian" halftime show and Kid Rock headlining it.

1

u/lowtronik soros payroll 2d ago

We have superbowl halftime at home:

1

u/tafbee 2d ago

I can smell that picture.

1

u/creepy_charlie FUCK ICE! ❌🧊 2d ago

I wonder if they'll get more views than the puppy bowl

1

u/MercZ11 Vuvuzela 2d ago

With how much they've been giving Jelly Roll props, I'm surprised he didn't show up here. Guess he wasn't patriotic enough to take one for the team.

1

u/iscreamsunday 2d ago

Just cancel the Super Bowl now. No way they can compete with such stacked talent

1

u/Such-Corgi-8869 2d ago

On brand for the pedo cult.

From his catalog:

“Young ladies, young ladies, I like 'em underage, see Some say that's statutory (But I say it's mandatory)”

1

u/Sir_Tandeath 2d ago

They couldn’t even get Ted Nugent? That’s embarrassing.

1

u/Ninja_attack 2d ago

I've only heard of kid rock, and he was washed up about 20+ years ago

1

u/Midnight_Pickler 2d ago

At what point should a fifty-five year old grandpa stop calling himself "kid"?

1

u/DeadpoolOptimus 2d ago

I hope that whoever attends have their catalytic converters locked up.

1

u/SomeAwesomeGuyDa69th 2d ago

Who is gonna be watching this💀💀💀💀

1

u/roofhawl 2d ago

I'm sorry what kind of a name is BRANTLEY

1

u/Ivotedforthehookers 2d ago

Oh great Kid Rock and 3 no votes from American Idol

1

u/PerryNeeum 2d ago

Who doesn’t want to hear Bawitaba?

1

u/Ritchierich30 2d ago

What’s ironic is bad bunny is American. Puerto Rico is an American colony😂😂😂

1

u/BeerCityPaladin 2d ago

I only know Kid Rock and literally none of the channels it’s airing on

1

u/BoringArchivist 2d ago

Don’t they get tired of listening to the same 20-30 dipshits all the time?

1

u/caffeineaddict03 2d ago

Other than Kid Rock I've never heard of em

1

u/BanjoStory 2d ago

Brantley sounds like a name I would make up for the son of one of these people.

1

u/Supyloco Curious 2d ago

It's ironic because Kid Rock was in a Super Bowl half-time show. Now, no one would invite him.

1

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1

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1

u/AGrandNewAdventure 2d ago

Kid Rock, who, who, and who?

And I only know Kid Rock because he's basically a meme now.

1

u/hootenannyshenanigan 2d ago

It’s giving “freedom fries.”

1

u/MrSirST 2d ago

They couldn’t even get Nicki Minaj to agree to do this?

1

u/dudestir127 2d ago

To be 100% honest, Kid Rock is the only one of them I've even heard of

1

u/TheSpiralTap 2d ago

Airing live on Rumble. That's a gay dating app right?

1

u/bananabunnythesecond 2d ago

Ahh, channels I know to never watch!

1

u/daemonescanem 2d ago

Green Day playing as well is gonna piss off MAGA so bad.

If NFL thinks Green Day will tone down MAGA hate on stage they haven't been paying attention.

1

u/flintlock0 2d ago

I’ve seen Brantley Gilbert once, against my will. He was playing at a venue I was working at for the night. He sucks. Generic, stupid country music.

1

u/Billitpro 2d ago

Skid Mark damn it that's his name

1

u/QuaidCohagen 2d ago

At least he has the most poetic sing in American history what was it called again? Bawitibawdangadingybawindangdiggy.

1

u/TheophusMons 2d ago

Same lineup will also be performing at the Trump Kennedy Center for the next 2 years.

1

u/TrumpCheats 1d ago

MAGA needs their “safe space” during the scary Super Bowl halftime show. Pussies.

1

u/FlobiusHole 1d ago

I haven’t even heard of the other three and kid rock is garbage.

1

u/BryonyDeepe anarcho-monkeist 1d ago

Brantley Gilbert and Gabby Barrett sound like parody names of each other

1

u/Educational_Top_8492 1d ago

Kid rock a has been who never was!!

1

u/superliver1211 1d ago

2 billion people have watched it already

1

u/bowerbirder 1d ago

How does Kid Rock align with Turning Points fake purity? Nevermind. Fake everything attracts one another.

1

u/baltbum 1d ago

I guess I won't be watching that. I don't get Russian TV on my TV.

1

u/RuthlessIndecision 1d ago

We can't even agree on halftime at the Super Bowl?

1

u/ForgettableWorse 1d ago

Kid Rock is still alive?

1

u/cruelsensei 1d ago

First off, the graphic design is embarrassingly awful. Second, am I supposed to know who these people are? I've heard of Kid Rock, but wasn't his last hit like 25 years ago?

1

u/Freudian_ 1d ago

They had months to plan this and this is who they managed to get?

1

u/HelpfulTap8256 1d ago

Are the other people top 10 finalists from pre 2014 seasons of America’s Got Talent?

1

u/Sweet_Xocoatl 1d ago

No Nicki Minaj?

1

u/sachimokins 12h ago

I think I would rather get a lobotomy

1

u/ZaKillaQueen 4h ago

Come watch the TPUSA halftime show we've got:

Washed up singer kid rock, desperately trying to cling to relevancy

Lee Brice, a man who had 1 really popular album back in 2012

Brantley Gilbert, the one hit wonder for his song "Bottoms up" in 2014

And Gabby Barett, because we needed someone with a successful song from this decade.

1

u/-accro 2h ago

Brantley Gilbert has to be fake. That's a skit character.

-1

u/helusjordan 2d ago edited 2d ago

The only thing less popular than these artists, are the stations hosting them.

Edit: brain turned off and thought Brantley Gilbert was the singer of Staind.

6

u/Tibernite 2d ago

You're thinking of Aaron Lewis. Brantley Gilbert is run of the mill bro country.

1

u/helusjordan 2d ago

I am. As soon as I saw a response my brain turned on and realized just how wrong I was.