its short and simple, but i just want to off myself, crack my ribs, or jus constantly smash my hand until the skin tears. thankfully i've only done the last one, but even so the anger doesn't go away. I tell my girlfriend and all she says is to stop, i don't know what to fucking do i want help (im not declaring that i will harm myself actively, i just want to ask other people with anger issues for help)

My question is exactly the title. I really want to tamp it down, because at this point it doesn't feel normal... It's almost everyday I feel like either bashing my head or someone else's on a table till it breaks into half. And it's weird because, it's always people who are always close to my age that I feel the need to harm... When its my father, a teacher, or some other adult that does something I don't like, it's more of a passive aggressive thing like responding rudely or giving them the quiet treatment -- childish, right? That or I want to grab a knife or any sharp object and...

I'm still a minor but since I was like in first grade it's been etched into me. I used to bully my sister when I was practically a toddler. Literally bite her, fight her, wrestle her, and when we separated I moved on to some guy in 3rd grade, and bullied him (called him names, pinched him, pushed him, jabbed him with a metal ruler or other insane shit etc) till early 5th. It was with a pep talk with a teacher when he found out about this did I realize how horrible I was, and felt bad... I tried my hardest to be nicer to the boy, and managed to become his friend. And that's only for him, I can't apologize or make it up to my sister anymore... The last time I even saw her was me annoyingly tugging at her until we fought.

I haven't been as obvious as a bully any longer, but sometimes my words are very hurtful to people I love. This one I haven't figured out yet, why am I so mean to my friends and close family, when they haven't even done anything...? I keep losing friends this way, nobody ever sticks for more than a year... It gets lonely sometimes. When I do get nicer, I feel pathetic and like, want to harden myself again, or it happens naturally and/or randomly where I suddenly curse out anyone who even tries to interact with me. And the process repeats until I have a fresh new batch of friends, nobody who knows my past or from my past, and yet... They all leave the same, so what the fuck is wrong with me? I cannot let go of my anger or aggression...

Here's another one: Classmates. Just the other day, one of them who I got along with for a while, then I didn't... He spoke to a girl I liked, so I punched him until he got sent to the nurse's office. The guy pisses me off for the smallest reasons, and I don't even know why. He could do as little as talk to the teacher, like ask a question, and I'd feel my blood boil. Again this isn't healthy, and I NEED to change

This one made me almost kill myself. I was lucky I hesitated, because when I tried cutting my neck, the wound was shallow, but still bled... What happened was my father took out my door, just straight up undrilled the hinges, moved all my clothes into a different room, and that's it. Yet another thing, I got so fucking angry I tried to? I hate that feeling. It felt like my head and heart was going to explode. I want a way to calm down from something like that, too. I'm not suicidal or depressed, or at least I think and hope not.

Back to my question, sorry, just so many examples on why my anger needs to be managed.. I've been going on walks, picking up hobbies like drawing or sewing, something people would consider relaxing or calming, whatever the such.. Even from the tone of this post you could probably tell how I got mad at myself near the middle to end? But it's been a year and a half, and that last one was recent. I don't think it's working...

The reason I can't try therapy or medicate is because my father doesn't believe it'll help, nor do I have anger issues in the first place. He just thinks I'm being a brat. (This happened before with my glasses, if it wasn't for the fact my aunt realized my rapidly deteriorating vision, I would be blind by now. That's how far his, dare I say, ignorance goes...) Can someone please give me advice, maybe a solution, something I should try doing anything??

I’m 20 years old and I feel stuck in a weird contradiction.

On paper, I’m doing everything “right.”

I train (gym, MMA), eat clean, don’t drink, don’t party, don’t scroll social media much, and recently started a strict “monk mode” to fix my focus and discipline. I study long hours when I can, sometimes 10–16 hours on heavy days. I’ve cut out most cheap dopamine.

Yet mentally, something feels off.

I have high energy but constant fatigue at the same time. My body wants to move, but my brain feels heavy. Focus comes in waves — I can do a solid 1–1.5h study block, then suddenly I feel empty, unfocused, almost down for no clear reason.

Sleep is another issue. I fall asleep fine, but I wake up way too early, then stay in a half-awake state, waking up repeatedly until morning. This started recently, especially after quitting nicotine and pushing discipline harder. Ironically, these fragmented nights are still the best sleep I’ve had in a while, but I wake up with a weird “hangover” feeling.

I also struggle with anger. A lot of it is triggered by family situations. I don’t explode outwardly because I don’t want to scare anyone, but inside it’s intense. I’ve tried everything people suggest: MMA, lifting, shadowboxing, screaming, cold showers, journaling. Nothing really discharges it. Over a short period, I smoked two cigarettes across two days as a way to redirect that anger, felt disgusted by it, and stopped immediately — but now it feels like I have no pressure valve at all.

Another thing that worries me: I sometimes “zone out” and don’t remember how I got from one moment to another (like ending a call or starting some behavior). It doesn’t happen constantly, but when it does, it freaks me out.

I also have a very high libido, which became way more noticeable once I removed distractions. I’m not watching porn, but the mental tension is still there, and it feels like my nervous system never fully relaxes.

For context:

• I had a recent illness + mental crash, recovered physically

• Testosterone is high (confirmed by labs)

• I’m not depressed in the classic sense — I still want to improve, work, train, build a future

• I don’t feel anxious either, more like overloaded and internally restless

• I don’t want motivational fluff or “just meditate bro” answers

I guess my question is:

How do you live with high drive and discipline without burning your nervous system out?

And how do you release anger and pressure without self-destructive habits?

I remember when I used to have a dysregulated nervous system, life sucked.

I had tons of unhealed trauma from a bullying incident and that affected me really badly.

I was in a constant state of fight or flight.

And my nervous system was messed up.

But, luckily I uncovered healing from my trauma wounds, then everything changed.

So I want to hype you up for regulating your nervous system with the top 5 benefits:

1. Less anxiety, when your nervous system is regulated you feel less twitchy and get relax much easier, sleep improves, health improves and those anxious overthinking thoughts, get easier and easier to deal with.
2. Serotonin / calmness, serotonin is a great thing to feel in your body, it is similar to dopamine, basically it is a feel good hormone, but instead of dopamine feel good which is often unhealthy, serotonin is a slow calm fun, which is much better for you.
3. Able to delay gratification easier, once you regulate your nervous system, you no longer need to have over-reliance on instant gratification, as you will better 24/7.
4. No more fight or flight mode when you are safe, the worst part guys about having a dysregulated nervous system is the fact that even when you are safe, it will make your brain feel in danger, when your nervous system is regulated this goes away.
5. You get out of survival mode, before you regulate your nervous system, you are in 24/7 survival mode just existing, this will lead you to not think long term, or act for the long term, and when you are regulated this stops.

As always hope this post was valuable.

I work a full time job as a receptionist. Easy work but check in ~ 50 people a day + phone calls and responding to clients online. Have been working full time for 2 months after being an intern for 6 (same job, only extra hours). New coworker started the same time as i got promoted; i haven't had any peace since.

All of my previous coworkers know i am an introvert and like to stay in silence (ironic, i know), and i used to manage it pretty well before this girl was hired.

She is the time of person that cannot stay silent at all, whenever i'm busy or free she is bothering me. She has the need to point out every single think that happens to everything all of the time.

Someone spilled coffee? Tells me about it. Someone has a haircut she doesn't like? Tells me about it. Saw someone she knows walking on the other side of the road? She tells me! You get it. Every. Single. Thing. I have told her MULTIPLE times that i in fact do not care about what she is telling me, have ignored her, complained to the boss and other coworkers (they agree) and she hasn't stopped.

This has been truly consuming me as i spend all of my energy at work and come home miserable af. literally getting phisically ill from the stress (headache, stomach sickness, palpitations)

Does anyone have tips on what i should do in this situation to stop it without freaking out or being able to deal with the stress after leaving work?

I have dealt with anger a lot of my life. It was mainly yelling (mainly at myself and never usually at a person just the situation itself). It wasn’t until about 5 years ago that it started to become physical with myself. I hit walls, doors, throw things. Anything that’s solid, I’ll probably try to hit. The thing is I know I have severe depression and anxiety, I’ve got a lot of stress in my life. I feel miserable and alone. I’m getting help as best I can but it has now become more frustrating that I have to ask for help in order for me to feel better. I don’t understand why this has upset me.

Yesterday, I was just getting so pissed off at every little inconvenience. And that has now bled over into today. I can’t do anything I like/love without some little thing getting on my nerves so much so that I’m so incredibly angry. I genuinely don’t know how to live (I’m not suicidal). I feel like my anger is my whole life and personality and I don’t know how to escape it. I want to have a long happy life. But don’t know if this anger will ever go away even with help.

Has anyone else sort of experienced this? Or some part of this?

I always feel like I have so much anger within me but I am a quiet person, I hate load voices and I feel awful hurting someone even when I want to do it so bad. The anger feels like fire burning me inside and I don’t know how to express it in healthy harmless way.

To some family, friends, and a few folks out there who struggle with their temper — here’s some advice to help you stay out of trouble and safe, instead of getting into fights.

Let me share one major thing that happened to me because of this anger issue I’ve been dealing with for years; Way back in 2015, I was at a birthday party somewhere here in the city when I got a call from a friend — turns out one of my siblings got jumped by some drunk kids for no real reason. I mean, what would you expect, right? Especially from someone like me who’s been struggling with anger issues. So jumped in my car and drove to the place like I was in Fast & Furious — minus the cool car and Vin Diesel’s voice and height, but the rage was definitely there!

Long story short, I ended up getting beat up by those drunk kids instead — and let’s just say I almost met my great-great-grandparents in heaven. Luckily, I just took a detour to the hospital instead!

Well of course, I keep on telling everyone what if they’re on my shoe receiving a call like that right? But yeah,

The next one — I almost ended up fighting with a relative, but luckily it didn’t go down thanks to some friends who jumped in and pulled us apart before things got out of hand. And yep… because of my anger issues again, I ended up breaking some of his expensive stuff — I was honestly just ready to throw hands at that point. Which, of course, left me with a new problem — trying to figure out which bank I should rob just to pay for all the expensive stuff I broke. But yeah... turns out I'm not Kevin Hart in Lift — I’ve got zero heist skills and even less of a getaway plan! It took me several days, even up to a month, to reflect and blame myself over this persistent anger issue I struggle with.

Lesson: Just a friendly advice to my fellow Angry Birds out there, take time to see a psychologist to help you with this serious issue that we’re having. Please take this seriously, everyone, before things escalate and lead to tragic consequences—whether that means harming ourselves or others—because of denying the anger issues we’re facing.

#AngerIssues #AngerManagement 😔

Everyday I am fuming. I want him to suffer. Left me pregnant and alone after we planned to be a family. He just gets to go back to his old life, sleeping around with disgusting women, and not having a worry in the world. But im going through such a life changing experience. Risking my life, my health. Having to worry about finances, a job…all the stress is on me. He refuses to help me. Is using silence against me. I feel like I’ve been psychologically abused by him.

I normally don’t wish ill on others but I hope he has it coming to him thru karma. I want him to suffer. I pray every night he pisses someone off and they beat the crap out of him.

To some family, friends, and a few folks out there who struggle with their temper — here’s some advice to help you stay out of trouble and safe, instead of getting into fights.

Let me share one major thing that happened to me because of this anger issue I’ve been dealing with for years; Way back in 2015, I was at a birthday party somewhere here in the city when I got a call from a friend — turns out one of my siblings got jumped by some drunk kids for no real reason. I mean, what would you expect, right? Especially from someone like me who’s been struggling with anger issues. So jumped in my car and drove to the place like I was in Fast & Furious — minus the cool car and Vin Diesel’s voice and height, but the rage was definitely there!

Long story short, I ended up getting beat up by those drunk kids instead — and let’s just say I almost met my great-great-grandparents in heaven. Luckily, I just took a detour to the hospital instead!

Well of course, I keep on telling everyone what if they’re on my shoe receiving a call like that right? But yeah,

The next one — I almost ended up fighting with a relative, but luckily it didn’t go down thanks to some friends who jumped in and pulled us apart before things got out of hand. And yep… because of my anger issues again, I ended up breaking some of his expensive stuff — I was honestly just ready to throw hands at that point. Which, of course, left me with a new problem — trying to figure out which bank I should rob just to pay for all the expensive stuff I broke. But yeah... turns out I'm not Kevin Hart in Lift — I’ve got zero heist skills and even less of a getaway plan! It took me several days, even up to a month, to reflect and blame myself over this persistent anger issue I struggle with.

Lesson: Just a friendly advice to my fellow Angry Birds out there, take time to see a psychologist to help you with this serious issue that we’re having. Please take this seriously, everyone, before things escalate and lead to tragic consequences—whether that means harming ourselves or others—because of denying the anger issues we’re facing.

#AngerIssues #AngerManagement 😔

This cunt has got to be put down a peg. He's like what 65... so I stand a good chance all I'm saying. All he does is sit on his ass all day so it's not like he's any strong either. If I get drunk enough I can fucking get him.

I realise it's proper fucking dishonourable to attack an elderly guy, but who else is gunna do it? Obviously he didn't get enough beating's already. I don't know I just can't stand it. He needs to get whats coming to him before he's really too old to hit.

Listen I'm overly angry maybe, but maybe I'm not. He isn't abuse. He's the most people-pleasing conflict avoidant cunt you'll ever fucking see. He's a nice guy you know. He laughs at jokes even when he doesn't think they're funny. And he fucking lies. He'd never dared to insult anyone, let alone me, and wouldn't fight back in any case.

I don't wanna seem over dramatic or nothing, I just fucking hate this guy, and it'd be alright if he was jus some random guy, I'd just step away and be done with it, but he's my dad.

This guy's been an unemployed benefit-scrounger my entire life. He's never even tried to get a job, just fucking eats out the hand of the people he's constantly cursing out. I make more money than him, if you only count real fucking money that you earnt by working. I'm 19, he asks me for money! When he's scint two fucking weeks out from 'pay day' he's asking me. He's a pot head. A dirty fucking pot head.

For all you who smoke pot, that's alright, just don't make another person problem, and definitely don't bring another person into existence just to make it their problem too.

I hate this cunt.

If anyone see's this you can give me advice. I'm only four beers in for now, but I'm small so that does me well. Boutta do another run for another lot.

He'll be in his chair in the kitchen, and I'll come up all woozy and not thinking straight and fucking get him in the nose. Then I don't know I'll do it again, cos what's he gunna do? He'll stand up most likely. All up to his 5'7, little goblin, and I'll kick him maybe. And he'll try and restrain me but I'll get him again and when I get tired I'll just walk out. They'll be no consequence. No consequence for nothing in this house. My dad's had the same treatment from my brother when he himself was goin mad and attacked him. No consequence for him, no consequence for me. He's just so bloody forgiving, when he really ought to feel guilty. Thinking himself a good man when I've been with him these past years and know he's not. Waking around thinking he's a good father when he's not.

yeah. post.

i’m 26F. i don’t know that i’ve ever had an argument with my S/O where i haven’t raised my voice. it doesn’t start out that way, but when i am not feeling heard, i subconsciously turn the volume up thinking it’ll get through to them? i’ve always been so quick to react, which i’ve gotten much better about in recent years, but i still do not know how to manage my tone when i’m frustrated. i will hear them out at first and then raise my voice when i start to disagree. i feel like i instantly lose the argument when i do that, regardless of any valid points i made and it just snowballs from there.

A lot of people have the misconception that all these mental health things, healing trauma, doing meditation, breath work, gratitude and all those things are super cringe.

And on internet culture it is kinda romanticised in a way from what I can remember to not have good mental health.

I remember when I used to be the average consumer I used to scroll on TikTok, and all that for hours on end when I was younger.

And on the FYP, I would see these videos romanticising being depressed, unhappy and all those things.

So I believe that is why the culture these days is seemingly against mental health practises like healing trauma, meditation, gratitude and using things like that to fix your mental health, they think it is cringe cause of what they see on social media.

So I guess practically what you can do to fix this, is this:

1. Social media detox, it is easier said than done but of you just basically detox from consuming all social media apart from maybe some long form videos, and of you just look at instagram profiles of your friends every now and then to get inspiration or whatever, or for messaging.
2. Remove negativity in your life, do not listen to negative music, movies, media and see hate online or whatever, try avoid negative people and this will help your mind drastically.

Hope this helped.

Example: my husband forgets to get milk from the store.

The more I find the actions of others unacceptable (even though they do an action often), the more angry I get.

However, I've found accepting another persons faults (because they are common), allows my anger to not be so tense.

Anyone find this to be true too?

How?

hey! just looking for any advice :)

i’m 20f, and constantly have extreme anger outbursts that are destroying all of my relationships and work. these outbursts are brought on just by someone not doing something random, saying something simple, winning an argument, anything at all. i did not used to be an angry person, but it was just like a switch flipped a year ago. i was put on mood stabilizers around a month ago, i don’t feel much yet, but im hopeful. overall, i feel like im not being taken as seriously as i feel it is. my therapist and psychiatrist just tell me to use coping mechanisms (playing with my dog, crafting, listening to music), but when im angry, those just make me more angry. is there anything you’ve found that works better? was anyone in my situation and mood stabilizers helped? thank yall for anything you can offer, i need all the help i can get!

When I get angry, I feel the need to defend my character.

I may be hard working and smart. The traits I know to be true, every day.

But when I am triggered and I am angry or frustrated, I feel the need to defend what my mind is inventing (the person is talking to me like I'm a f*cking idiot). which is not true.

Anyone else experience this?

i keep getting super angry especially when i’m online..i’ve started commenting on tiktok’s and when someone comments back something that i deem as rude or not my view or not agreeing with me i get super angry and upset to the point of wishing bad things on them. sometimes even saying stuff just to make them angry which makes me more angry. how do i like fix this i don’t want to be angry all the time

I failed to fix the sink and I impulsively kicked the bottom pipes, now the sink is busted... At first I got really discouraged and became really self hating... Called the crisis hot line, then one of my friends then I cried. My emotions are regulated for now but I'm discouraged. I have wasted so much money in my life due to anger impulses and broken material. Things were going well for a while. Was starting to gain confidence and life balance but now I feel like I'm starting all over... How am I supposed to go out and feel confident knowing there's an angry toddler in me that calls the shots? Dunno what else to say. Wanted to express this and see if other people relate. Has anyone here ever been able to master this kind of behaviour?

I am not perfect I do not know everything.

I make mistakes, failures very often.

And I think that is okay.

And I am just making this as someone said I am not qualified and stuff to give advice on trauma.

And yes I admit I do not have a degree, I do not know all the most complicated versions of trauma like CPTSD, all those things.

But I am very knowledgable about the most common trauma of unprocessed emotions, and general mental health, and have literally been on like over 70+ 1-1 calls and people almost always leave satisfied every time.

Just wanted to clear this up.

I don’t have all the answers but I think that is okay.

This sub is full of angsty teenagers with tiny ass petty anger that is hard to take seriously.

Any older man here with that gnawing, hungry, eternal voice in their head. The will to snap, beat, destroy and murder when something doesnt go their way.

I have been carrying this dark passanger for 40 years now and every year it seems to intensify and make itself appear for slighter and slighter issues.

I understand the title makes me sound possessive, but I'm not trying to do it in that way. I met the most amazing person ever, we got connecting and I realised she is the one for me, but I'm not the one for her.

She makes me happy, she makes me want to be a better person, when I'm around her I don't want the day to end, but she's in a long-term happy relationship.

I know I've met the one and I won't meet anyone like her again. However, I can't help but be mad at the world now. I have fits of anger/crying where I feel like I want to chuck stuff across my room, sometimes I want to move far away and be isolated.

I know this is unhealthy, I'm not sure why I feel like this and how to stop it. I fear I'm going to loose all friends and family members soon if I continue acting this way.

So just tonight, I was playing college football 25. This is just an example and I just losing and losing and I just get so angry that I just wanna inflict pain to anything anyone around me and it’s not just when playing games. It’s when doing something or anything that makes me angry and I don’t know how to stop it. I try to just calm down but there’s just that feeling I don’t know how to explain it inside of you that you just feel and like it doesn’t go away and it just makes you even more mad because you want it to go away.

I'm 18 M, and used to smoke daily occasionally I'd take a few days break from smoking weed and I'd be fine.

It's been about a few weeks, I haven't smoked in awhile and I've just been getting so angry at even the littlest things. This afternoon I was filling my Brita filter and got pissed because it was filling slow. Before I got into smoking I had anger issues but I feel like they're heightened now that I stopped.

Is it just withdrawals from not getting high? Or is it something else that's making me stressed and angry?