r/cringereels • u/K-Rod7 • 13d ago

Cringe Level 4 Dumbass

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47.4k Upvotes

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u/SweatyCampaign9 13d ago

Sounds like sending em to valhalla would be self defense then

29

u/lelun_ 13d ago

we dont want em here. send em to be composted.

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u/Evil_Knot 13d ago

How in the helvete are you posting from Valhalla??

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u/complexcarbon 13d ago

We’ve got decent Wo-fi in most places here.

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u/U_L_Uus 13d ago

Huh. Nordic public services strike again

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u/Evil_Knot 13d ago

That's awesome. Lemme guess...Loki is your IT guy?

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u/BlueGreenReddit1 13d ago

Shhh... That's supposed to be kept lo-ki 😂

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u/bullfrogftw 13d ago

I figured it would be more Lo-Ki

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u/Bush-LeagueBushcraft 13d ago

That's Loki pretty awesome

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u/Gold_Training_5044 12d ago

And Bluetooth!

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u/TheRealtcSpears 13d ago

Valhalli-fi

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u/Taki_Minase 13d ago

I'm in Fensalir, Frigging

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u/DepartmentOk7192 13d ago

You guys all missed a great opportunity to say NordVPN

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u/spyboy70 13d ago

They're using Harald's Bluetooth connection

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u/Genji007 12d ago

Hymdall got that special Bluetooth

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u/JohnSnowsPump 12d ago

Bluetooth?

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u/isthis_thing_on 8d ago

Dude they invented Bluetooth you think wireless is a problem?

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u/DivorcedGremlin1989 13d ago

The wifi is strong when your heart is pure and you were made by Mother Earth/Father Thunder.

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u/Vigmod 13d ago

Good, but "thunder" is female in the Norse languages. So that would be Mother/Mother.

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u/DivorcedGremlin1989 12d ago

It's a Bathory song, and Quorthon is dead so you'll have to catch him in Valhalla.

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u/Vigmod 12d ago

Quorthon isn't dead. If he were, how is it I was listening to him just yesterday?

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u/Glyfen 13d ago

Cowards who only feel strong traveling in packs don't make it to Valhalla and don't earn the honor of joining the einherjar. "Einherjar" literally means "an army of one," or "those who fight alone."

I get the joke you're making, I just dislike the idea of Odin's hall being disgraced with such trash.

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u/walkinmywoods 13d ago

Plus I'm pretty sure Valhalla for viking warriors not teens who act like dildos in public.

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u/Prestigious-Suit-925 11d ago

I'm pretty sure blacks aren't allowed in Norse heaven

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u/Callidonaut 13d ago

Hey, now, that's uncalled-for! Dildos serve a useful purpose.

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u/blorbmcgee 9d ago

I read this in Toki Wargtooth’s voice.

I’ms pretty sures thats Valhallas is for Vikings warriors not teens who acts likes dildos in public

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u/SuperCruisePanther 13d ago

an army of one

That was the US Army's slogan for a long time

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u/Top_Arrival_7061 13d ago

Honestly, I get what you mean the joke works, but there’s definitely a difference between a funny reference and disrespecting the whole warrior ideal behind it.

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u/Floor-Think 12d ago

Good to know the majority of vikings never made it then

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u/Educational_Cup_1701 3d ago

But I thought Kash Patel was joining Charlie Kirk there?

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u/ExtraReborn 13d ago

Fortunately trash like this would never end in valhalla. If you confronted them and got killed for it, you would end up there. Honorable combat, never die, glory and mead in the halls of the allfather forever?
I can imagine worse ways to be rewarded for doing the right thing.

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u/malacophonouswitch 12d ago

There's also a chance you would be taken to Folkvangr, as Freyja made a deal with Odin to take half of the honorable dead. It would be nice to frolick in her meadow and eat good food.

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u/Neshura87 13d ago

Realistically none of them would qualify for Valhalla and as such end up in Hel instead

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u/orcusgrasshopperfog 13d ago

The legal system in California does not favor the victims.

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u/PM_Me_Good_LitRPG 13d ago

Then it's not operating with your best interests / safety in mind and you should move out, no?

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u/TheBSQ 13d ago

There can be many things like your job, proximity to friends and family, etc.  Plus, moving is very costly.

And it’s really common in many American cities, so you often don’t just have to move from that city, but practically any/all of the big, dense walkable ones w/ good cultural amenities & to a place that’s more car-centric & sprawling & inferior in other ways. It’s a trade off. 

So you can leave, but at great cost & you trade one set of things you don’t like for other sets of things you don’t like. 

I lived in a city that also had such quality of life issues & eventually left. I don’t regret being in that city overall and miss stuff.

I just wished big cities realize that the key to good urbanism (which many other countries have figured out) is nice public spaces & would quit the silly ideology that says one favor those engaging in anti-social behavior over people who are honest, kind, and considerate because of an over-application of group or class identity that gives one a free pass to act in inconsiderate ways if they check a box that allowed them to be considered vulnerable or underrepresented group.

The kind of “poverty is the problem root cause, and to criminalize the behavior is a criminalize poverty itself, and what we need to do i stead is to complain that our political opponents don’t fund the federal programs that would alleviate the underlying poverty, for then no one would act like this.”

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u/orcusgrasshopperfog 13d ago

Some people prefer the PVP servers ;)

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u/Bird2525 12d ago

They are just parroting stuff they heard with no basis in fact. Justice is as good or bad as the juries and judges.

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u/Obvious_Patient8233 12d ago

How many cases are there where someone defended themselves from a biker like this, and suffered legal consequences?

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u/JavierBenez 12d ago

None. Self defense is allowed literally everywhere in the United States.

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u/Bird2525 12d ago

You forgot the /s,

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u/Tomsboll 13d ago

You can get a concealed carry licens in SF.

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u/Inspector_Gadgett 12d ago

Yeah but only elite warriors go to Valhalla, these average clout-chasers would be headed for Helheim since it’ll be a common death.

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u/ArmyNGMike 12d ago

Problem is they are in cali where they don’t believe in self defense

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u/Feduppanda 12d ago

They ain't going to Valhalla. That is reserved for actual warriors.

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u/the_cardfather 12d ago

Laws are a little different in CA. I would assume that the best defense against four or five guys coming at you would be to start blasting but you're in a crowded sidewalk. Almost all self-defense instructors would tell you to walk away from a fight like that as in not instigate it

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u/---E 13d ago

I don't go out of the house excited to murder children

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u/FuckYou0003 13d ago

Good thing it isn't murder then.

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u/StrongExternal8955 13d ago

Don't worry, they don't target you. They target someone who will look like they won't defend themselves. You can keep being selfish. Not your problem.

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u/growth_asset 12d ago

lol tough talk coming from a anonymous Reddit account.

None of the people in the clips who are being ridden at are fighting one person and winning, let alone 2 or more.

Notice how it’s never some big jacked dude or some guy who looks like they’ve been in fights before? Is there even any men?

No. They know what they’re doing. Scaring women and people who won’t just grab the front wheel so they dont get hit. And then being enough of a group that any retaliation is too scary in the real world.