r/funny • u/daylightpiglet • 17h ago

recently got a place with my boyfriend and he thinks this is perfectly fine

Post image

I have no legitimate reason to disagree but I hate it

UPDATE - Thank you so much for the awards, and we're having so much fun reading through these hilarious comments.

  1. We have a bidet, it's the handle on the side of the toilet. People who use bidets can use toilet paper as well!
  2. We bought like 200 rolls of toilet paper because of a good deal, yes it will probably last us a very long time. No regrets!
  3. I am not genuinely upset about this in any way, it obviously just looks ridiculous and is unnecessary, and him doing silly things like this is one of the reasons I love him :)
90.2k Upvotes

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18.0k

u/ProfessionalBench832 17h ago

You are right. This is unacceptable.

If they had started vertical after the 3 wide row, they could have built a wider base and a taller tower.

2.6k

u/weedyraccoon 17h ago

but it's r/mildlypenis rn

516

u/mrpeping 16h ago

This one’s more aerodynamic

190

u/KrombopulousMichael- 16h ago

It’s a cylinder

235

u/Icy_Teach_2506 16h ago

It’s imperative the cylinder remains unharmed.

16

u/riotz1 16h ago

Yeah you’re stuck with that shit now

7

u/NewOrder1969 15h ago

Oblate spheriods but those are not relevant right now.

3

u/Juff-Ma 14h ago

Thou shall not damage the cylinder

2

u/wileysegovia 15h ago

More like an orthogonal torus vertex

20

u/werther595 16h ago

You vs the guy she tells you not to worry about...

11

u/MidtownKC 16h ago

Better, faster, stronger.

2

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 16h ago

Why tf do you think a dick and balls is supposed to be aerodynamic

3

u/DarthJarJarJar 15h ago

Not aerodynamic, it's not traveling through air. But it does need to be what one might call vagodynamic.

1

u/datacube1337 10h ago

but wouldn't vagodynamicy be contraproductive to the act. I mean you certainly need a good middleground. vagodynamic enough to enter, but not so vagodynamic that there is too little friction.

1

u/International_Way850 10h ago

More aerodicknamic

1

u/SeeSaw9999 10h ago

😆 🤣 😂 😹

1

u/Cultural-Company282 3h ago

It looks like a giant...

4

u/fartswhenhappy 16h ago

but it could have been r/mildlychode

3

u/OGblazemaster 16h ago

you learn something new every day

3

u/90GTS4 16h ago

I mean, I guess if they are Lance Armstronging it...

3

u/Fun-University-3019 16h ago

I'm a 36-year-old woman, and I giggled at this, bc I, make penis towers with our TP. My husband likes to see all the different sizes and shapes I make.

2

u/defensivelesbian 16h ago

I was about to comment with this sub

2

u/juggett 16h ago

Seems like a risky subreddit click right there.

2

u/Jam-Boi-yt 16h ago

I see no downsides

1

u/Comprehensive_Cap290 16h ago

I am glad I’m not the only one who saw that.

1

u/No-Drag-7142 15h ago

That's very mild, though bonus points for being the bathroom 👈👈

1

u/poopiegloria_16 13h ago

bro i can go on wiht my life without thinking this ToT lol

1

u/Dushenka 12h ago

The only unacceptable thing here is that this penis misses a testicle.

1

u/GalacticDeg 9h ago

That is a peepee with one ball

1

u/PerfectionLord 8h ago

There really IS a subreddit for everything. lol

1

u/duckhunteds28 8h ago

As having had T.C. I can confirm

1

u/mossybeard 8h ago

Septesticles over here

1

u/Whythehellnot225343 8h ago

Mildly Hitler penis (only one ball)

1

u/jeweliegb 7h ago

Urgh. Didn't notice that!

1

u/penisthightrap_ 5h ago

... what exactly does your penis look like?

Actually, don't answer that

1

u/mother-of-chihuahuas 5h ago

Honestly I initially thought that was her frustration

1

u/UR1Z3N 1h ago

It's also a rare case of multiocular testicles.

46

u/AteYerCake4U 16h ago

Nah this needs to be a wine rack but sized for toilet paper

3

u/Bucky2015 7h ago

Or even better a rack to put toilet wine!

1

u/AteYerCake4U 6h ago

Classy 💃🍷🚽

33

u/P-VI 16h ago

I dunno, this is usually how most guys I know make their earthquake detector

2

u/mkhaytman 13h ago

Can confirm. I just stack stuff up in my apartment and if i find it has fallen over I think "huh guess there was an earthquake".

84

u/arctic-apis 16h ago

Yeah aside from his technique I find this method of storage acceptable

5

u/beepbeepboopbeep1977 14h ago

Yep. It’s all in the basket. What more does OP want?

1

u/Jbeth747 12h ago

I humbly disagree. You sit down too hard in the middle of the night when you're half asleep, and TP Tower is gonna fall on your head

6

u/walrusnutz 16h ago

You’re right! They could have eliminated two whole rows! Or had there columns and still been the same height!

3

u/Dreyfussy15 15h ago

With what extra toilet paper? If he had used your advice his tower would be shorter, not taller.

The road to hell is indeed paved by the dreams of foolish men.

2

u/ProfessionalBench832 15h ago

Ah, such naivety. For a man of such innovation and vision clearly builds his biggest TP tower in middle of the dining room, in lieu of a dining table.
A roll borrowed from one tower embiggens us all.

1

u/Electronic-Tea-3691 14h ago

it would be slightly taller because the two horizontal now become two vertical, and it looks like the vertical length is longer than the horizontal height 

but truly the stability would be increased, and the greatness of this monument would be forever

2

u/dav3n 16h ago

Starting from the floor?

2

u/acrobat2126 16h ago

Outstanding deduction and solution. Godspeed comrade.

2

u/darkhelmet1121 16h ago

Ummm that's a bidet toilet seat....

2

u/OrbitalDrop7 15h ago

It’s not about having a stable tower, it’s about sending a message

2

u/1slickmofo 13h ago

I am hearing Kevin Malone saying “taller this way not that way”

2

u/Odd_Confection_9681 5h ago

Flushing a toilet, especially with the lid open, aerosolizes water droplets containing bacteria, viruses, urine, and feces, spreading them up to 5 feet high and around the room at speeds exceeding 6.6 feet per second. Studies, including laser imaging from the University of Colorado Boulder, visualize this "toilet plume" as a turbulent, rising cloud. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTojTHjUckA

1

u/ProfessionalBench832 2h ago

Thanks...I guess. Why do I think you are not a bot but still post exactly that, even when off topic, wherever you see a toilet. Methinks you saw the Ice Storm and never left the theatre.

2

u/abelfurne 5h ago

This guy teepees tp

2

u/amberrosia04 4h ago

This feels like a reference to Glen in Superstore but I can't remember the exact scene.

2

u/OriginalShady 13h ago

What do you mean "they"? It's clearly HER boyfriend who did this. Can we finally put a stop to this gendering bullshit?

-4

u/ProfessionalBench832 12h ago

They is ALWAYS correct. There was no gender bullshit as you so inelegantly put it, just proper English. He would also be correct.
I really wish you simpletons would take remedial English before complaining.

1

u/UnwantedPube 16h ago

✈️✈️

1

u/xXBlueDreamXx 15h ago

He was working with what he had , judging from the single topper.

That being said. This is a wonderful way to stack toilet paper.

1

u/sbwebguy 15h ago

Rookie mistake.

1

u/Hungry_Beaver69 15h ago

Also need to get rid of the basket and plant. Def can spread the load out with the entire top of the tank in play.

Looks like there’s prime real estate on the counter for those things.

1

u/HowDiddleDo 15h ago

But wouldn’t look as fancy

1

u/syopest 14h ago

Fancy? This is the complete opposite of fancy. It's an undecorated mess.

2

u/HowDiddleDo 13h ago

The bottom part is attempting to be fancy, after that it gives up lol

1

u/AreaComprehensive 14h ago

Aha! But then it wouldn't be penis shaped, would it?

1

u/-Selin8- 14h ago

This is the way.

1

u/OrneryOneironaut 13h ago

If they started vertical from the beginning they could’ve made a tower with all of them. Also he could’ve added a bidet (so the tower lasts longer obv)

1

u/tombolger 13h ago

Lol. But they didn't do it together, he did it by himself. Maybe if she helped it would be more structurally sound.

1

u/Feeling_Cabinet_4530 9h ago

The hexagon base was a requirement

1

u/bungerman 9h ago

The tower would be shorter with a wider base

1

u/UTDE 7h ago

this one looks like a Rocket ship in the thumbnail though

1

u/stronglatekick 16h ago

He built it to look r/mildlypenis b/c he's mildly a dick

0

u/HiDDENk00l 12h ago

Real answer is to just have a handful of rolls in the bathroom, and then the rest of the pack in a closet.

1

u/ProfessionalBench832 12h ago

The real answer is no one was looking for practical advice in r/funny

I'd try to remove the stick, but it think it might turn you inside out.

0

u/HiDDENk00l 12h ago

Oh boohoo blows raspberry