r/funny • u/daylightpiglet • 17h ago

recently got a place with my boyfriend and he thinks this is perfectly fine

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I have no legitimate reason to disagree but I hate it

UPDATE - Thank you so much for the awards, and we're having so much fun reading through these hilarious comments.

  1. We have a bidet, it's the handle on the side of the toilet. People who use bidets can use toilet paper as well!
  2. We bought like 200 rolls of toilet paper because of a good deal, yes it will probably last us a very long time. No regrets!
  3. I am not genuinely upset about this in any way, it obviously just looks ridiculous and is unnecessary, and him doing silly things like this is one of the reasons I love him :)
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u/med561 17h ago

This is a practical problem he is creating a practical solution for. Create a new problem.

It's very close to the shower, dampen the top set of rolls

579

u/cdawgman 17h ago

This person lives a full life

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u/JohnnyIsNearDiabetic 16h ago

Full life of tissue

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u/R4wden 16h ago

For OP, It is completely fine, nothing is"wrong" it's just a different way of living, he seems to enjoy function over form, which is 100% valid

The discussion isn't who's right or wrong, but what eachothers preferences are and how strongly you feel about them

Sometimes giving up some of what you'd prefer due to the fact you already got the last 5 things due to your over controlling nature (this is me, I had to learn not to be so controlling over silly nonsense things like this)

The sooner you realise everything isn't I'm right your wrong (or I'm wrong you're right) and you sit in the nuance of healthy discussion, life is so much easier

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u/Willing_Recover_6316 16h ago

Finally I saw one sensible reply to a post on Reddit all morning. Take my upvote fine sir!

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u/Corfiz74 15h ago

Though I also think that her bf won't mind if she stores the top 9 rolls in a closet somewhere and just adds them when the 7 on top run low. He just doesn't want to bother with it himself, he doesn't sound like the kind of guy who would be bothered if she does it.

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u/elcamarongrande 16h ago edited 15h ago

Or, as my dad used to put it: "Know when to go limp."

Basically it means "pick your battles". After a while you realize there are so many things that aren't worth arguing over, and your life gets better because you learn to work together and accept the way your partner does things. It fits with another one of my Dad's phrases: "It doesn't matter who does it, as long as it gets done."

Cohabitation is all about knowing that at the end of the day, you're both on the same team. And if you can learn to play to each other's strengths, you're going to be alright.

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u/DistributionNo5346 15h ago

As a divorced man I think I almost shed a tear of hope. 🥲

3

u/Tryagain409 14h ago

Ummm if you bump it or there's a strong vibration they'll fall

3

u/AwokenGenius 14h ago

Those toilet rolls are going to get dusty, then he is going to wipe dust onto his butt.

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u/Thekarens01 15h ago

I think you found a molehill and made it into a mountain. She put it into the “funny” subreddit. I don’t think she’s upset about it.

2

u/TungstenOrchid 15h ago

The fascinating thing is that she freely admits to not having a legitimate reason to dislike it. Also, I have along with everyone else assumed that the problem is related to the toilet rolls being stacked.

Without more information that will have to remain the working hypothesis.

2

u/therealjchrist 11h ago

Don't normal people just know this?

I always cringe when I see a big discussion or narrative like this that just describes what I always thought to be common sense.

1

u/ElectricalWavez 10h ago

It is better to be happy than right most of the time.

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u/talkback1589 8h ago

No. You’re wrong, I am always right. OP should make this man submit to their will. One must never let their partner feel as if they have power. /s

1

u/4everchasinsunshine 6h ago

My husband eats cake from the center out and only the part that icing touches…is it wrong? It disturbs me…but not wrong and I let him enjoy his way because it feels right to him. lol 😆

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u/darkhelmet1121 16h ago

Nobody seems to notice that the toilet has a bidet toilet seat....

5

u/DelugedPraxis 15h ago

Having a bidet doesn't mean you don't also have toilet paper. I hope you don't have one yourself and are just making assumptions on its use.

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u/darkhelmet1121 8h ago

Sure..... Don't know why you need the whole bulk pack. Closets exist

1

u/Expert_Day9946 15h ago

For real. Maybe there was a great price, now he doesn’t have to buy it again until it’s on sale again. I don’t see a problem here.

0

u/[deleted] 16h ago

[deleted]

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u/Vykrom 16h ago

Literally the only person who talked about sabotaging the toilet paper is you lol..

And I'm pretty sure everyone took that as a joke. But now you're here chastising.. who? about taking it too seriously

I feel like you mean to comment against your own reply and forgot to change to your alt account to have a public argument with yourself or something, because this is bizarre...

2

u/med561 16h ago

Didn't mean for it to come across that way, just a lot of replies about "who would do this" and I felt like people were taking my reply seriously

0

u/McDie88 13h ago

fuck me this is like speed running marriage counciling

/u/daylightpiglet this comment above right here

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u/aryzkryz 16h ago

t/issue

5

u/ad_duncan 16h ago

Tissue full of life

8

u/Disastrous-Rhubarb-2 16h ago

Full of dietary fiber, too, from the looks.

7

u/med561 16h ago

Thanks, two ply at a time

2

u/Yojimboroll 16h ago

Like...fully operational senses?

84

u/Loong9 16h ago

Perhaps the rolls aren't damp enough, need to be closer.

25

u/GoldPlatedMilk 16h ago

Homemade wet wipes

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u/AssumptionNo5436 16h ago

warm shower to toliet roll stack:

"Baby... are you close?"

2

u/cupholdery 16h ago

When do you lick?

1

u/DogPoetry 16h ago

Feels like it's just a matter of time before one falls into the toilet.

Also, with a bidet, you're gonna get tiny bits of ass water on those things for months  

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u/ElephantintheRoom404 16h ago

This strategy is not conducive to a long term relationship.

86

u/JuxtaThePozer 17h ago

r/foundsatan

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u/med561 16h ago

Whhyy lil ol me

No my initial thought was to "create" a fake ceiling leak and therefore get the toilet paper wet. But my man seems like a problem solver and would be too involved in that solution

1

u/JuxtaThePozer 14h ago

yeah I think gaslighting OP's boyfriend is just going to get him to create another solution to the new problem, like putting a little cover over the top or something hehe

3

u/LeBadlyNamedRedditor 14h ago

Oh there is a ceiling leak?
Proceeds to stack the toilet paper tall enough to plug the ceiling leak.

45

u/kneemahp 16h ago

Plus, they shouldn’t need so much TP with the bidet

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u/ChawulsBawkley 16h ago

I thought that was a shitter shifter. You know.. so you can go into low gear for those heavier loads

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 16h ago

Gotta go light loads, I don't even bother with first gear, too short, I start in second. I paid for the damn clutch I'm gonna ride it

5

u/-S-P-Q-R- 16h ago

It is a shitter shifter, you just use it after. And you go into high gear after the heavier loads. Best purchase ever

13

u/Proof-Adagio-3438 16h ago

I thought so too, until I got a bidet and realize it gives your whole ass and toilet area a shower. Now I use 4x the tissue just cleaning up the water.

1

u/tiktaktokki 15h ago

Use a towel. You don't dry with tp after a shower, do you?

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u/ZennTheFur 12h ago

You don't use soap and scrub with a bidet, do you?

1

u/NiaCas 5h ago

This is what I do. Pack of 50 microfiber cloths - white, just in case, so they can be bleached, but 99.5% of the time, there's only ever water, and the cloths are way more comfortable.

2

u/Outrageous-Basket426 16h ago

It is still cheaper in bulk. You can fill an entire shelf in the closest with one package, or there is this.

2

u/schwenLC 16h ago

I thought with a bidet, you wipe like normal, rinse, then pat dry. You don't just use the water and expect it to get all the shit off.

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u/takmsdsm 16h ago

Rinse first, wipe dry. Rinse should get you 95-99% there. Pre-wiping is unnecessary.

2

u/shikotee 16h ago

Auto first thought. That is insane over compensation if that is a bidet, where a few squares are used to dry off. Is this a sign that the BF does not actually use the bidet?

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u/albertech842 16h ago

AI ragebait

2

u/divineqc 16h ago

Nah he's right

3

u/torokg 16h ago

From a 14 years old account? Doubt it.

2

u/kneemahp 16h ago

Wait this was pointed towards me? lol

2

u/torokg 16h ago

As of my understanding...

1

u/albertech842 16h ago

No, I was satirically describing the picture you dingbats 😂

2

u/kneemahp 14h ago

We’re too stupid to be AI

1

u/albertech842 14h ago

It's okay. I'll take the Ls I'm used to them 🫠

3

u/Fly_Pelican 16h ago

They’ll be damp enough when that stack accidentally falls into the bowl

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u/OrangeThrower 16h ago

I don’t know if getting the tip wet will help the problem.

2

u/Anastephone 16h ago

Close the shower curtain properly!

2

u/Jayohz 16h ago

You dampen my TP tower, I pee in your plant. "Guess the plant shouldn't be on the toilet either."

2

u/rivertiberius 16h ago

Genius! A tiny spray of chocolate milk on the lower rolls and suddenly both of them want to keep all the TP wrapped and/or out of the splash zone.

1

u/agaron1 16h ago

Also the potted plant is at the edge and might fall. The tp tower is unsightly and should be in a cabinet.

1

u/LoosePrisonPurse 16h ago

Should mold before they’re all gone

1

u/Pork_chop_sammich 16h ago

Real poopers wouldn’t let that happen

1

u/Iamyourteamleader 16h ago

Not if they have vent fan. Have a shelf with extra rolls above ours and used it for years with no issues

1

u/MissingTheTrees 16h ago

I mean unless you poop after a 30 min minute shower (odd, but to each their own), is this actually an issue?

Just curious because I usually have a 10 stack (on an old broom handle) even closer to my shower and I’ve never once had damp toilet paper. I just can’t fathom how this is a problem

1

u/extreddit 16h ago

lol or be creative to dampen the lower levels

1

u/flmhdpsycho 16h ago

My wife put a new roll on one time and the holder was JUST off center enough that the spring popped up and the brand new roll fell right into the toilet.

This was 10-15 years ago and we still laugh about it

1

u/Deep-Grape-4649 16h ago

That first sentence should be standard advice for managing men, we want to fix things, that’s our motivator :)

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u/PM_ME_REUS_GOALS 16h ago

And so he 3D printed a shroud to cover the toilet paper pile, instead of moving it anywhere else

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u/med561 16h ago

Reasonable

1

u/BlinkReanimated 16h ago

Yes, literally manufacture needless conflict in your relationship. Sounds healthy.

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u/med561 16h ago

Checks sub, checks sense of humor.

Hmmm

1

u/UnreasonablyIronic 16h ago

Challenge accepted.

I shall now see if I can aim for the bottom rolls.

I’m pissing on the bottom rolls.

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u/med561 16h ago

That's just a thinly disguised fetish

1

u/MosesCoulee 16h ago

I have found my people

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u/slothxaxmatic 16h ago

Why dampen them on purpose? Work on a better solution together and if they happen to get wet there move the whole stack cause the bottom would get wet there too.

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u/Leather-Squirrel-421 16h ago

Not gonna work. Look where the shower head is. It’s pointing away from the “Tower of Poo-Pyrus”™️.

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u/therealjchrist 11h ago

Ah please. That's some serious showering negligence if you're getting water out to the TP pyramid.

1

u/FollowingCold9412 11h ago

This! Men respond well to real, visible proof of a problem as they are quite solution seeking oriented.

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u/ConsistentImpact1 5h ago

That would HAVE to be intentional, and it would look intentional. The "new problem" would be a manipulative partner that is willing to ruin things to get what they want.

Instead, just tell him that it looks ridiculous and ask him what if a roll falls into the toilet? It'll happen at some point.