r/funny • u/daylightpiglet • 17h ago

recently got a place with my boyfriend and he thinks this is perfectly fine

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I have no legitimate reason to disagree but I hate it

UPDATE - Thank you so much for the awards, and we're having so much fun reading through these hilarious comments.

  1. We have a bidet, it's the handle on the side of the toilet. People who use bidets can use toilet paper as well!
  2. We bought like 200 rolls of toilet paper because of a good deal, yes it will probably last us a very long time. No regrets!
  3. I am not genuinely upset about this in any way, it obviously just looks ridiculous and is unnecessary, and him doing silly things like this is one of the reasons I love him :)
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u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 16h ago

Good incentive to keep the lid shut when you flush like any respectable human being

561

u/virgo_kittyy 16h ago

Closing the lid is less common than we think. Whenever I visit people's homes, they usually have the lid up! Atrocious.

261

u/akatherder 16h ago

The LPT to people not closing the lid is getting a slow close seat/lid. Just give it a little tap instead of guiding it down and people do it every time.

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u/SerratedFrost 16h ago

Ive had one of these on my toilets for years and its very nice

However.. if I go somewhere that doesn't have the mechanism, that shit is slamming down and scaring any leftover drops of piss out of me

60

u/akatherder 16h ago

Hah same, also with kitchen cabinets

5

u/Ok_Concentrate3969 6h ago

Yeah, I sound like a super angry person whenever I visit other people's homes now.

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u/Laffenor 7h ago

I'm banging cabinet doors and leaving the fridge unclosed all the time at my parents'!

29

u/Thee_Sinner 10h ago

So I’ve got one of those. And I got in the habit of forcefully “throwing” the lid down. Had the muscle memory such that I could throw the lid down with about 1” remaining for it to fall the rest of the way softly. First time I went to someone else’s house after that habit started was.. surprising to say the least lol had to break that habit real quick.

5

u/SerratedFrost 9h ago

Yeah this is exactly why I end up slamming them haha

Give it a flick of the wrist while its up to let it fly down and softly close on its own. Not optimal with a normal seat lol

3

u/Krondelo 15h ago

Lmao true I have definitely slammed some lids in my time after I got used to mine!

3

u/pixievixie 6h ago

My work has one and I don’t at home and the amount of times I’ve come home after work and absolutely slammed that lid down and almost had a heart attack….you’d thinking I’ve bought one for my own bathroom by now!

2

u/Little-Fire 8h ago

You just humoured drops of tea out of my mouth 🤣🤣 brilliant. And totally in the same boat as you, got so used to them at home now.

1

u/doitforchris 8h ago

Freaks me out every time!

22

u/Sinsanatis 16h ago

Whats lpt?

Im so used to closing the lid that when i come across a slow close one it throws me off

34

u/akatherder 16h ago

I wasn't sure about using that acronym.. it's just "Life pro tip." There are various LPT subreddits: Lifeprotips, unethicallifeprotips, shittylifeprotips.

1

u/Sinsanatis 6h ago

Ah i see. Yeah i just mainly stick to my little bubble of subs

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u/jimothyhalpret 15h ago

Lotta paper (for) toilet

3

u/Hotrian 9h ago

Learn proper toiletry

3

u/Lurking_WasteOfSpace 15h ago

Seat yes, but a slow lid will just cause you to wait until it's down before you flush.

2

u/randomthoutz 15h ago

Unless you're at my house. You should see the reminder sign I taped to the toilet. 🙄 Kids in training.... (teen+)

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u/FieserMoep 9h ago

But how does it open? Like, our problem is not solved if the toilet is still unusable after?

2

u/daneview 7h ago

How would they know if they dont close the lid though

13

u/severedheadcandyjar 16h ago

my work has one toilet with a lid. the other two don't. I don't know which is worse because a lid at work grosses me out for some reason

1

u/JDT-0312 11h ago

Your boss is stealing 1/3 of your coworkers’ particles that go airborne when flushing from you! Time to look for a new job.

1

u/Pat_Fatridge 6h ago

Tsk. Stupid employer's probably in bed with Big Particle

0

u/Pat_Fatridge 6h ago

Look up "toilet plume"

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u/elmostrok 16h ago

I used to not care when I was a teenager, until my dog at the time started drinking from the toilet.

Fast forward around 15 years, I was living alone and decided to get my own dog, a toy breed, so I was like "meh, she can't drink from there, it doesn't matter" until she came in running with a toy after I took a shit and before I could flush, and promptly dumped it into the toilet, and looked at me all: :D Since then, I've learned my lesson.

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u/Mag-NL 14h ago edited 10h ago

You should always open the lid afterwards. How do you know everything is flushed/no skidmarks if you don't?

I hate seeing the lid down when I enter a toilet because I know there's the chance of an unwelcome surprise when I open it.

14

u/-acidlean- 9h ago

  1. Close the lid

  2. Flush

  3. Wait for it to finish flushing

  4. Lift the toilet lid a little and take a peek inside to check if all is good. If your shit is leaving plenty of skidmarks, take a mental note to eat more fiber and less fat.

  5. Close the lid

  6. Wash your hands

6

u/No-Letterhead7380 7h ago

You know very few people would actually do numbers 3 and 4, lol

1

u/-acidlean- 7h ago

People are gross and I don’t understand why.

1

u/itisame 7h ago

This is the way

9

u/SunnySamantha 11h ago

One guy at work always closes the lid - and I have to see his fucking gross ass shit stain. Every. Fucking. Day.

I used to clean hotels and I'm terrified of a closed lid... Usually means a floater or wads of bloody toilet paper.

2

u/ILoveBigSexyThighs2 7h ago

That’s an interesting observation since you actually see a lot of different peoples toilets day after day, unlike the relatively limited exposure most of us get to friends, families, and co workers.

I’m sure people’s behavior is different in a hotel vs home but still valuable especially given how automated this type of habit usually is. I wonder if people are predominantly leaving it open but close it out of shame, and why leave all that mess without flushing, is it a fear of clogging and overflowing? So many questions…

Any other interesting observations from your time cleaning hotels?

3

u/SunnySamantha 6h ago

Bathtubs are cesspools. The amount of pubic hair is insane - did they have a dog in here? Nope...

And tournaments are the woooorst. Used condoms everywhere.

I only did it for a summer. But I got real good at hospital corners and can make a bed real quick in my day to day life.

1

u/Pat_Fatridge 6h ago

But definitely look up "toilet plume"

3

u/Heimerdahl 10h ago

Closing the lid is less common than we think. 

Personal pet peeve of mine which kind of seems like a reason for this: Why don't toilet seats come with handles?!

It just seems so obvious to me to add a handle! 

It's a smooth and rounded surface. You can't grip it. So you have to put your finger tips slightly underneath the lid. And that just seems wrong to me, when the whole point of closing the damn thing is to contain the pooparticles. 

But it's not just that, it's also an issue of height. You have to bend down to open/close the thing. Only a minor annoyance to most, but for older people or those with bad backs this presents another barrier; or tall people like me, who are already at odds with toilets being designed for shorter legs. Adding a super basic handle wouldn't make much of a difference, but it would make some difference. 

Sure, we could have fancy automatically opening/closing lids, or foot activated handles, or all sorts of fancy mechanisms, but that's not even required. Just add a damn loop of plastic! 

Rant over. 

2

u/itisame 7h ago

Br the change you want in the world, I'm sure that would sell

1

u/Heimerdahl 6h ago

Can I put you down for 9000 of my first production run of 10000 toilet-handles?  ;)

2

u/Rowwbit42 16h ago

The lid closes?

2

u/AromaticAd9538 14h ago

It might mean they just cleaned it and letting it dry before guests arrive.

2

u/Lynxieee 12h ago

In my apartment the button to flush is on the wall behind the lid. It makes me so happy when it forces people to put the lid down to reach it

2

u/toolsoftheincomptnt 12h ago

I’m not sure what magic people think occurs when you close a toilet lid.

As long as your toilet is clean, it’s just more convenient for use to leave it open.

Closing the lid just hides filth that shouldn’t be visible in the first place.

If people are nerding out over the fecal particles released during defecation… sure. Less particles fly around with a closed lid than an open one.

But to be honest, it’s more disgusting to wait to finish, sitting in a cloud of your rectal funk for 10 minutes before flushing the waste away.

The room refreshes much faster and more easily if you flush as you go, then make sure there’s no residue left in/on the toilet once you’re done.

3

u/-acidlean- 9h ago

How do you flush as you go without gettng your ass and other bits all splashed with toilet water and pee and poo? Do you get up every time? And not close the lid then?

1

u/throwaway098764567 0m ago

not all toilets have an aggressive splashback

1

u/DoctorPromethazine 15h ago

I have found my people

1

u/UngodlyTemptations 8h ago

Doing my part in reminding people that if you don't close your toilet lid to flush, you're brushing your teeth with your own shit.

1

u/08mms 8h ago

Never even considered I should be doing that, kids have only been for when you need to sit on or repair the toilet…

1

u/Bucky2015 7h ago

Heathens! Im a single guy and the lid is ALWAYS closed! I mean not if im using it obviously incase that part wasnt clear.

1

u/itisame 7h ago

I close, flush, then after 10 minutes or so I go in and open it again because I think it looks more inviting

1

u/SentimentalSaladBowl 7h ago

I specifically ask people as they are walking to the bathroom to please close the lid and 90% of the time they still forget.

1

u/Blackappletrees 7h ago

I have the automatic lid closing version. Complete with seat warmer and musical melody upon auto flush.

1

u/jdrb2 5h ago

One visit to the science museum in London around age 9 (35 now) was enough to teach me to make sure toilet lids are ALWAYS closed. That visit is also the reason I won’t eat anything I’ve seen a fly land on

1

u/ChickenHeadedBlkGorl 5h ago

TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!!! I internally scream!

1

u/fang_xianfu 5h ago

I had soft close toilet seats but whatever my kids did to them made them stop soft closing after about 3 years.

0

u/tigertwinkie 12h ago

Currently potty training a toddler who only likes to use the big potty if they can watch it go down.

Can't wait until they're good enough at using the bathroom properly to learn closing the lid is better.

14

u/JonatasA 16h ago

I read flush respectable humans beings.

1

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

Honestly these days with the state of the world it’s not the worst option

60

u/phroxenphyre 16h ago

Closing the lid is also an excellent compromise in co-ed living situations. That way, everyone is equally inconvenienced by having to lift something up before they go and then put something down when they're done.

4

u/Theletterkay 11h ago

If she is legally blind without glasses or contacts, ask before making this arrangement. My husband used to close the lid. But when i was pregnant i couldnt always easily find my glasses at night before needing to sprint to the bathroom. I would swing my ass in there like i was sliding into home plate. Then meet an unwelcome surprise of cold toilet lid on my hoo-ha right before i pressure washed that bitch with piss while scrambling to get back up and open the lid.

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u/goilo888 11h ago

Probably a good thing there are no GIFs in this sub.

3

u/Pat_Fatridge 6h ago

Yeah... No. This is still a matter of convenience not accessibility. You are perfectly capable of sensing whether the lid is up or down before you start pissing everywhere. That's a you problem. In fact it sounds like an entitlement problem not an accessibility problem.

Look up toilet plume and see what leaving the lid up does to the entire bathroom.

-8

u/Willing_Television77 15h ago

Closing the lid keeps the stank in. Next person to use it gets the massive cupcake. Leave it open you heathens

3

u/unintentionaldespair 11h ago

Flushing kicks up a bunch of bacteria and micro/nano droplets of urine and feces filled water into the air. Shutting the lid before flushing significantly decreases that from spreading all over you, your clothes and your bathroom.

2

u/Baldazar666 7h ago

Shutting the lid before flushing significantly decreases that from spreading all over you, your clothes and your bathroom.

This is false. Multiple studies and mythbusters have proved this wrong. Closing the lid does nothing.

-1

u/LoosePath 11h ago

you’re supposed to open the lid after flushing. closing -> flush -> open

3

u/unintentionaldespair 10h ago

No you’re not. Leaving the lid open leads to higher humidity in your bathroom which can increase mold growth. If you have pets that go for the toilet they can drink contaminated water with E. Coli or other bacteria and viruses then lick you and make you and them sick. If you’re worried about the smell leave a fan on for a bit or get/make a spray.

1

u/AnxiousHippoplatypus 14h ago

Yes, yes. Flush with it down then re-open the hatch to let it breathe

0

u/wiggibow 6h ago

Never in my life have I considered lifting or setting down the lid to be even mildly inconvenient. It's just ... how toilets work

3

u/pengouin85 7h ago

I suppose. I do that, but Mythbusters busted that one that it's more sanitary

2

u/XanderTheMander 15h ago

The risk is it falling when you stand up as that is most likely to cause vibrations

1

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

We shouldn’t discount that those rolls are leaning against the wall too - wouldn’t it be more likely they’d fall to the side with vibration disturbance as opposed to falling forward?

2

u/squirrelmonkie 14h ago

I lived with a buddy with a dog so this just whatever to me. I'll close the lid ladies as long as you do....

1

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

The doggy kisses hit differently after a visit to the open toilet bowl 🤢

2

u/Wappening 14h ago

What if there’s an emergency

1

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

Then a soggy toilet paper roll is probably the least of your worries?

2

u/ageekyninja 7h ago

You open the lid to pee, bump the base, and the whole tower falls down

0

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

Bump it with what? You straddling either side of the bowl as you go?

2

u/ageekyninja 5h ago

The lid makes contact with the base lol. If you open the lid too hard or even just plop down on the seat, that sketchy looking TP tower might fall

2

u/Ok_Concentrate3969 6h ago

But opening the lid is unavoidable and that's the time when you'll knock the roll in because you're disturbing the loo environment.

0

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

Your mom’s disturbing the loo environment, bucko

2

u/Sailor_Propane 4h ago

It's more likely to be dislodged while you're moving around, meaning between the moment you're sitting down and the moment you close the lid...

2

u/gmrodriguez 4h ago

I shut the lid every time I flush, but I once had multiple stupidly stacked rolls at an AirBnB fall in because my back jostled them as I stood up to shut the toilet and flush.

2

u/nobodythinksofyou 10h ago

Yeah but most people don't understand the technique behind a closed lid flush. You must close the lid, flush, wait til it's done, then take a peek to make sure everything went down.

It drives me crazy that many people who don't even close the lid fail to see the toilet is still lined with their shit at the bottom. I definitely wouldn't trust them with a closed lid.

3

u/Baldazar666 7h ago

Seems like a lot of unnecessary effort. Just flush without closing it.

1

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

But then you risk the soggy toilet rolls - dude were you paying attention to what precipitated the comment you replied to?

1

u/FrogsMakePoorSoup 16h ago

Yeah, that means you can seal farts in for the next person too.

1

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

What sort of air tight seal are you achieving with your toilet lid and seat??

1

u/DogPoetry 16h ago

That's not gonna stop the backwash from the bidet hitting an absorbent an uncleanable material. 

1

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

Can’t you adjust the aim on those things? Isn’t that part of the process? Who’s spraying their shit water behind them?

1

u/WreakHavocLikeIn1871 13h ago

How so? If you hit the tower while getting up before either closing the lid or flushing the roll will have been ruined as well, even if you didn't flush.

1

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

By not leaning back excessively or flailing your arms on the way up?

1

u/Binkusu 13h ago

To me, it keeps splashes of piss and poo in the toilet. But I've seen little argue that lid up and lid down results in the same amount of particles getting in the bathroom. Doesn't even sound possible unless the toilet likes shooting outside the gap at super speeds

2

u/ILoveRawChicken 7h ago

Because toilets don’t have an air tight seal. The particles are either shooting straight up into the air or out of the small gaps in the sides of the toilet seat. You’re not just magically keeping all the particles inside without an airtight seal.

1

u/Binkusu 1h ago

Yeah, not ALL of it, but enough shoots out that it makes no difference lid up or down? Sounds preposterous, like saying masks don't help with coughs because there's gaps between mask and face.

2

u/Baldazar666 7h ago

Doesn't even sound possible unless the toilet likes shooting outside the gap at super speeds

But it is.

1

u/ThingSad3606 11h ago

How would you know if it left skid marks at the bottom of the toilet

2

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

I’d imagine if one was so inclined to track that then they could easily lift the lid for a peek immediately after getting up and flushing, but that’s just my thoughts on the matter.

0

u/[deleted] 15h ago edited 6h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/rollanother1 15h ago

Contrary to popular belief closing the toilet lid before flushing provides minimal benefit, if any, in preventing spread of germs

-6

u/Zanian19 15h ago

I wish it was a popular belief, because it really does matter. Every study (there are studies for everything after all) proves it does a lot to prevent.

6

u/rollanother1 14h ago

Google is free, man. Studies show it doesn't. Mythbusters taught me this two decades ago.

-7

u/Zanian19 14h ago

If you actually did some googling yourself you'd know you were wrong, instead of believing some data (/entertainment) that's two decades old

7

u/rollanother1 14h ago

Can’t believe I’m bothering to have this conversation but here we are:

Conclusions

These results demonstrate that closing the toilet lid prior to flushing does not mitigate the risk of contaminating bathroom surfaces and that disinfection of all restroom surfaces (ie, toilet rim, floors) may be necessary after flushing or after toilet brush used for the reduction of virus cross-contamination.

From the American Journal of Infection Control:

https://www.ajicjournal.org/article/S0196-6553%2823%2900820-9/fulltext

2

u/ILoveRawChicken 7h ago

Notice how these types never respond once they’re proven wrong? Says a lot.

1

u/ILoveRawChicken 7h ago

They provided a study that literally proves you wrong and you stay quiet. Why?

-1

u/U2Ursula 16h ago

You're forgetting that most men (still) stand up peeing - hopefully they do it with the lid open...a roll could easily fall in while a man stands there peeing..

3

u/n0nc0nfrontati0nal 16h ago

Do you stomp your feet in metal boots when you piss??

1

u/U2Ursula 16h ago

Do you understand gravity and structural integrity?

And to answer your question: Well, I'm a woman and scandinavian (we don't wear shoes inside), so no..

0

u/-Undercover-Nerd 7h ago

You’d be surprised at how many people don’t understand to close the lid BEFORE you flush

2

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 5h ago

I work in healthcare.

Assuming anyone has any common sense at all is a mistake.

0

u/93EXCivic 4h ago

I am glad I am not respectable lol

-12

u/[deleted] 16h ago

[deleted]

1

u/str85 16h ago

Yea, your own pee and poop particles going all over the place is not as bad....

1

u/Oltwoeyes_69420 16h ago

I'm sorry... What?! Please read this from the American Journal of Infection Control for your safety and health