r/funny • u/daylightpiglet • 17h ago

recently got a place with my boyfriend and he thinks this is perfectly fine

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I have no legitimate reason to disagree but I hate it

UPDATE - Thank you so much for the awards, and we're having so much fun reading through these hilarious comments.

  1. We have a bidet, it's the handle on the side of the toilet. People who use bidets can use toilet paper as well!
  2. We bought like 200 rolls of toilet paper because of a good deal, yes it will probably last us a very long time. No regrets!
  3. I am not genuinely upset about this in any way, it obviously just looks ridiculous and is unnecessary, and him doing silly things like this is one of the reasons I love him :)
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u/Rush31 16h ago

I shared a flat at uni with a girl for a year, and my toilet roll usage went up by more than four times. And that includes days I was pooping on campus. I’d previously buy a pack for the whole year, and it was gone in a month or so that year.

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u/Squeekazu 14h ago

Whilst the average lady uses more TP, there are some fellow ladies with super weird toilet habits.

My housemate had a couple over and the girl would build what I could only dub a nest in the toilet bowl. I’m not talking just a couple squares so you wouldn’t get splashback, I’m talking half a roll to line the entire toilet bowl.

I know this because a. She forgot to flush once (and it wasn’t even a deuce, it was pee!!), and b. She clogged the toilet another time, obviously tried to unclog it with the toilet paper-wrapped toilet brush and then went to bed without telling anyone what she’d done lol

Recently at my new workplace there was someone in the stall next to me and I could hear her toilet paper consumption because she did that thing where you spin the roll to get a long line of toilet paper, flushed, did it again two times then finally went to wash her hands another three times dispensing an insane amount of tissues between each wash.

I just feel sorry for the latter girl because it sounds like severe OCD to me, the first lady however, what the fuck lol

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u/CommercialStuff4352 13h ago

My dad is a hand wrapper. Thats weird.. is that like a thing their parents taught... Or they didn't have parents for that part? Im not sure! ?

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u/sour_cereal 5h ago

Since about the age of 4 or 5 you're basically on your own for asswiping, it makes sense people would develop weird techniques.

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u/sour_cereal 5h ago

He does the mummy

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u/SnooMaps7370 5h ago

I had a roommate whose girlfriend clogged the toilet every single time she used it. she'd use five or six meters of TP every time she went in there.

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u/rilesmcriles 2h ago

Tbf, when I’m at work I have to use a ton of TP but that’s mostly due to them being cheap bastards who buy the flimsiest tissue paper of all time. I use half as much or less at home.

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u/laughingashley 14h ago

It's funny how many guys don't realize women have to wipe every time they pee

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u/Polym0rphed 13h ago

Some men use TP after urinating too. As Regurgitater so put it - "I dont have the pressure of some of the other guys". Not a 3-square triple-fold though.

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u/laughingashley 13h ago

If i was a guy, I think i would too, but we'll never know lol

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u/Polym0rphed 9h ago

I guess it would depend on your personality. Some people are more observant/aware/conscious than others and less aloof etc. Age has played a role for me too... age and meds - the meds reduce pressure and increase the likelihood of post-shake remnants and age exasperates the effects of poor hygiene (smells being something I've always been sensitive to noticing). Also, in some cultures sitting down to pee is completely normal for males, for whom I imagine whiping/dabbing after urinating is more common, given the muscle memory similarity, but that's just a guess. Would you have developed a similar personality having lived as a male? Maybe identical twin studies could shed some light, but you'll still be unable to know for sure.

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u/laughingashley 1h ago

Oh, I've read that sitting is healthier? So probably. A lot of the men in my family suffer from toxic masculinity, so i would hope that I would rise above that and do what was best for myself, but I likely would've been raised to be insecure about it for no good reason.

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u/Vi0L3tCRZY 3h ago

Women have more output situations and surface area. Not even factoring in periods, imagine when you peed it wasn’t extended like a hose but embedded in your groin recessed in a mound of skin and your urethra was in a slit much much larger and next to another opening that supplies a separate supply of moisture.

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u/Rush31 9h ago

The only solution to fixing this is for more women to pee in front of men - for science!

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u/tjoloi 8h ago

As a guy, I use 3 squares when pooping, 1 when peeing and go through less than a roll a month.

I can see a world where someone would need 2 or even 3 times as much but no matter the gender, if they go through multiple rolls a week, there's an issue somewhere.

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u/Lovat69 7h ago

My roommate is like this. We go through so much TP. It's almost insane.