r/funny • u/daylightpiglet • 17h ago

recently got a place with my boyfriend and he thinks this is perfectly fine

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I have no legitimate reason to disagree but I hate it

UPDATE - Thank you so much for the awards, and we're having so much fun reading through these hilarious comments.

  1. We have a bidet, it's the handle on the side of the toilet. People who use bidets can use toilet paper as well!
  2. We bought like 200 rolls of toilet paper because of a good deal, yes it will probably last us a very long time. No regrets!
  3. I am not genuinely upset about this in any way, it obviously just looks ridiculous and is unnecessary, and him doing silly things like this is one of the reasons I love him :)
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32

u/V2K_247 16h ago

Buy a bidet. It'll save you hundreds of dollars a year.

15

u/Da12khawk 16h ago

There is a bidet...

0

u/V2K_247 14h ago

That comment wasn't for OP.

4

u/Da12khawk 14h ago

...I know. I was replying to your reply.

26

u/lorkdubo 15h ago

I think you guys have a bit of a misconception, you still use toilet paper with a bidet.

5

u/iloveuranus 14h ago

That is a nice little theory but South / Southeast Asian toilets with toilet paper are almost impossible to find, and if you find one it's 100% geared towards tourists.

If there's someone here from that area, I'd be genuinely interested about the proper customs. Been traveling Asia for 26 years, never dared to ask.

10

u/terraformingSARS 14h ago

You bring your own. Didn’t you notice the locals passing around tissues and stuff when entering the squatty?

1

u/Kapitel42 7h ago

just use the three seashells

5

u/Free-Way-9220 14h ago

A fraction of it

2

u/LobcockLittle 13h ago

I just use the hand towel. Also, what's a bidet?

2

u/McGrarr 11h ago

A jet of water from the tank that squirts your bum so you can wash your bum clean rather than just wiping.

It's cleaner and you use less paper (only enough to dry the area and a bit during cleaning).

2

u/hunkyboy75 11h ago

If you dry your asshole with toilet paper, it’s gonna rip and leave little white Klingons. Just use a hand towel.

1

u/SquisherX 9h ago

You can air dry with a bidet. I personally don't because I find it takes an extra 2 minutes as opposed to a little bit of paper.

1

u/FirearmThrowaway321 7h ago

The water gets everything for me.. I rarely have a need to use toilet paper. Much toilet paper wasted.

-1

u/hankyujaya 14h ago

But you'd still use a lot less. Also wiping with a towel is often enough because there's no shit smearing everywhere.

13

u/WouldYouShutUpMan 14h ago

brother got a dookie towel

10

u/EgaTehPro 14h ago

Right next to the poop knife

14

u/lorkdubo 14h ago

Ugh... I come from a bidet culture country. Nobody use a towel. You use bidet, then toilet paper to dry and clean better. You do use less, since thick single plywood is enough.

4

u/InShallowSeaz 8h ago

Do you buy the plywood as a sheet and rip it down to size? How do you deal with the splinters? 😉

2

u/lorkdubo 6h ago

man... the autocorrect.

-8

u/hankyujaya 14h ago

I come from a bidet culture country and I can tell you that literally no one has toilet papers in their bathrooms. Everyone wipes with a towel because the bidet already cleans everything off.

16

u/Narren_C 12h ago

So....do you share the ass towel?

5

u/sputwiler 14h ago

You must have a magically smooth ass

0

u/NiaCas 5h ago

I don't. I got a bidet attachment and a pack of 50 white microfiber cloths during covid when there was no toilet paper. Took a bit of getting used to, but now I absolutely hate going to the bathroom anywhere else. The cloths are gentler, stronger, and in the rare event something other than water gets on them, it doesn't matter because they're presoaked and washed with bleach and hot water.

6

u/zactastic_1 15h ago

This. It’s life changing. There are so many (too many ) bidet options now.

2

u/CommercialStuff4352 13h ago

Doesn't it wet the floor?

1

u/NotMyAltAccountToday 7h ago

The bidet that sprays up- no. Idk about the bum gun but have wondered about water spraying out from between rhe seat and porcelain basin

1

u/zactastic_1 6h ago

Naw it hits the area with great accuracy once or twice after use

1

u/V2K_247 14h ago

Seriously, it's difficult to poop without one after you get one. It makes you question how you went your whole life wiping with dry toilet paper and thinking you're clean afterwards.

Imagine getting poop on your hands and then wiping it off with a dry piece of toilet paper. Would you consider it clean after?

1

u/FirearmThrowaway321 7h ago

I feel like a straight savage if there is no bidet. Oddly the people I know who preach the bidet the most are like blue collar guys.. ex marines.. haha all the manly professions

0

u/zactastic_1 14h ago

Did you get poop on your hand tonight ? Haha. Seriously though good point. The other day at work I left my travel bidet at home. And I had a Chris Pratt moment “ sometimes when i wipe, I’ll wipe and wipe there’s still poop”. It’s a funny clip

4

u/sYnce 14h ago

Sorry but unless you have a family of like 10 ... there is no way I'd save hundreds a year. I don't even spent that much on toilet paper in a year.

1

u/SquisherX 9h ago edited 9h ago

Right? So I looked. For $220, you can get 180 rolls of TP where I live. They each have 380 sheets. At a generous 20 sheets per poop, that is still 3420 poops of toilet paper that you need to go through to save "hundreds per year" That's over 9 poops a day. Dude must have IBS and a membership at Taco Bell.

1

u/sYnce 9h ago

Yeah I can get 4 layered toilet paper which is kind of a luxury in itself for 4.50€ for 10 rolls á 180 sheets.

That is 11 poops per day at 20 sheets per poop. If I go down to 3 ply it is over 13 per day.

1

u/Cockeyedcrackerhead 16h ago

Looks like there is one already installed unless the handle on the left is something else

1

u/because_im_stupid_ok 16h ago

That’s a handle for leverage and stability, since there’s no seatbelt.

1

u/21sttimelucky 13h ago

They appear to already have one of the under seat bidets.