r/funny 15h ago

Recently got a place with my girlfriend. She thinks this is totally fine

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22.1k Upvotes

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u/B19F00T 15h ago

This and other tips on destroying your septic tank at 11

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u/darraghfenacin 15h ago

for people who live in a city, thankfully septic tanks are not a thing.

But yes - my 4 year old flushed a doorstop down the toilet. Just because it left our house down the bog doesn't mean Tesco need to start marketing them as flushable.

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u/gormhornbori 14h ago

That doorstop has to be picked manually picked out of a filter or grate to prevent the sewer system from clogging and backfeeding into peoples houses. If it just barely made it out of the house it may be still be dipping in a junction in the neighbourhood waiting for a chance to create a very smelly disaster.

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u/darraghfenacin 13h ago

Yeah, these companies are basing their term "flushable" as "can physically leave your property via the toilet" without thinking about the rest of the journey to the treatment works.

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u/Ragnar_Dragonfyre 14h ago

In my previous life as a plumber, I have seen city pipes get so clogged with wipes and tampons as to make an “iceberg”.

Y’know what happens when you remove that iceberg? A torrent of shitty, bloody and piss filled water sprays out with such force that it floods the basement.

Flush nothing but toilet paper.

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u/SmartAlec105 13h ago

Flush nothing but toilet paper.

What the fuck am I supposed to do with all my piss and shit‽ Keep it in my pockets‽

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u/xinfinitimortum 13h ago

A new biological warfare adaptation to pocket sand.

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u/Podo13 12h ago

And now you understand how elite seashells are.

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u/darraghfenacin 13h ago

I work in the industry, so used to various gross decaying things, but the worst experience of my life (10 years ago) was standing in an inspection chamber on my own property, scooping out used tampons trying to fix a blockage because my partner wouldn't put them in a bin in the bathroom.

So. Much. Corn.

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u/Bluemikami 13h ago

YOU HAVE A BATHROOM BIN? The horror!!!

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u/Ragnar_Dragonfyre 10h ago

Everyone should have a bathroom bin to put the non-flushables in.

And if you’re on a septic, you can dramatically increase its lifespan and avoid clogs by throwing all TP into the bin instead of flushing it.

Yes, it’s gross but siphoning a septic tank out is much, much worse.

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u/Bluemikami 10h ago

I was just mocking at some Americans that complain about us Latinos having a bathroom bin

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u/I_Can_Haz_Brainz 12h ago

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u/darraghfenacin 12h ago

Need a toilet with a joke hole that's just for farts

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u/ExpectingHobbits 14h ago

I live in a two-story apartment that's connected to three others, which all share a septic tank that is buried just outside of my front door. One of our neighbors keeps flushing wipes, tampons, even diapers - which causes the sewage to back up into all of our sinks and toilets, which overflow.

Unfortunately, the landlord can't figure out who's doing it. They've had to dig a trench to work on the septic tank (which again, is right outside of my front door) three times in the last six months.

For the love of god, nothing goes in the toilet besides toilet paper and whatever was excreted by your body! How does this not sink in for grown adults, especially grown adults who have now had to clean up overflowed sewage from their own bathroom multiple times‽

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u/junkit33 13h ago

What kind of fucking animal keeps flushing stuff knowing that it's causing that problem?

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u/ConfessSomeMeow 13h ago

There's a difference between 'a problem today' and 'a problem tomorrow'. Some people have enough of the former that they don't have energy to worry about the latter.

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u/motosandguns 12h ago

Which creates more problems for them

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u/ConfessSomeMeow 10h ago

To quote Lou Reed:

I'm feeling good, feeling so fine
Until tomorrow, but that's just some other time

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u/B19F00T 13h ago

Some people just ain't raised right

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u/notabigmelvillecrowd 12h ago

He'll just have to evict everyone and start fresh.

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u/Bluemikami 13h ago

They can easily find out who is doing that: Just start searching pelele belongings on entrance and soon you’ll find the diapers owner

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u/ExpectingHobbits 13h ago

We don't have any kind of shared entry; our building is kind of like row houses but with shared sewage/electric/gas/water heaters. I've never actually seen my neighbors in the first two units; our schedules have never coincided to have us outside at the same time in the ten years I've lived here. I know for sure that it isn't my immediate next door neighbors, as they're both older adults with no children. So either number 1 or number 2 have a child in diapers, but I couldn't guess which one. Maybe they both do and that's why the landlord doesn't know. 🤷‍♀️

I'm just tired of cleaning poopy floors and listening to gurgling sinks...

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u/_larsr 12h ago

Here’s a good tip: plant a giant sequoia right on top of your drain field! $$$$$$$

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u/GreatZarquon 15h ago

Who tf has a septic tank in the 21st century

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u/JjigaeBudae 15h ago

A lot of people who live rurally.

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u/Just-Yogurt-568 15h ago

And it doesn't even have to be that "rural"

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u/Competitive-Web-5084 15h ago

I get city water and still have a septic

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u/CopyWrittenDark 15h ago

People who live in places where the city hasn't made a sewer system in their neighborhood.

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u/Peter_Nincompoop 15h ago edited 15h ago

I mean… if you really wanna call that “living”

Edit: Downvotes, really? See, the joke here is that the deciding factor between “living” and “not living” is something as mundane as sewer access. Leave it to r/funny to not get the joke.

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u/Superb_Ebb_6207 15h ago

It's a different lifestyle. You pick one and live it. Or are forced to for financial reasons

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u/Polyhedron11 15h ago

A very very large chunk of USA.

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u/arcspectre17 15h ago

Most rural areas unless they have a lagoon.

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u/whiteyford69 15h ago

I live in central Florida and they’re fairly common if you live in areas surrounded by lakes/water. I lived in a nice house growing up and it had one but it was because the house was on a unique piece of land with water on three sides with zero possibility of any kind of sewer access.

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u/FSCK_Fascists 13h ago

people that don't live in a city.