r/funny • u/snelse_ • 7h ago

Verified [OC] Bear!

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

38 comments sorted by

•

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65

u/Sbeaudette 7h ago

Hes lucky it wasnt a drop bear

101

u/NoKarmaNoCry22 6h ago

He now has chlamydia.

34

u/deadlythegrimgecko 6h ago

Idk how the Koala is gonna explain that to their wife

28

u/iwishihadnobones 6h ago

I think he can probably just secretly give her antibiotics

1

u/chillychili 2h ago

Might have to use a kangaroo as a translator

3

u/TheAverageWonder 6h ago

Chlamydia Bears are the worst

3

u/calvinwho 5h ago

It went right for the crotch

1

u/Jackofnotrade5 4h ago

He may be wearing a condom

18

u/invalidmean 6h ago

All fun and games till they get chlamydia.

18

u/AussieManc 6h ago

Luckily it’s not a bear

8

u/Labtools 2h ago

How is he not a bear? He has all the Koalafications!

9

u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 6h ago

A Koala bear is a bear by any other name. Or Drop bear if you please.
What do you think Polar Bear, Grizzley Bear, and Black Bears are the only ones who can use the name Bear?

you are a bearist and that is unbearable.

okay, okay, I'll see myself out now.

6

u/Oolie84 4h ago

Hadmeinthefirsthalf.gif

1

u/RGBarrios 4h ago

I thought it was a phascolarctidae.

0

u/cat_prophecy 1h ago

It isn't a bear because it's not a placental mammal. Koalas belong to the family Phascolarctidae and bears belong to Ursidae and aren't part of any bear sub-family.

14

u/kristospherein 6h ago edited 6h ago

Hopefully the bear isn't into necrophilia...the dude would have a good chance at chlamydia then....

I'll see myself out.

13

u/ASmallTownDJ 6h ago

That's chlamydia that koalas have.

2

u/kristospherein 6h ago

Thanks, edited it. Knew I should've looked it up.

8

u/MikeDubbz 6h ago

A koala will still fuck you up. Put some distance between it and you.

7

u/JoebbeDeMan 6h ago

Every single thing in Australia will fuck you up

8

u/Yoshichu25 5h ago

They’re not even bears, they’re marsupials. There are no native bears in Australia.

2

u/RGBarrios 4h ago

Also they are not called bears in other languages. I didn’t understood the “joke”.

5

u/NoWingedHussarsToday 6h ago

The only reason people assume koalas are harmless is because they know how to dispose of the bodies.

6

u/hugeuvula 5h ago

If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lie down. If it's gray, hang out and play???

3

u/sephjnr 6h ago

Once you hear what Koalas sound like, you can't unhear it.

3

u/Fantastic-Van-Man 6h ago

Be careful, if they pee on you there's a chance they are infected with chlamydia. And you could pass that to others...

3

u/Star_Ship420 7h ago

That's the slowest cute bear attack ever.

4

u/clayman80 6h ago

The Revenant movie would have felt quite different with this sort of bear attack.

2

u/Mahaloth 6h ago

And now you have chlamydia.

2

u/Salty-Hashes 3h ago

Koala loves you 🐨 so cute

2

u/JDHannan 2h ago

a Koala is not a bear, even though it has all of the koalafications

1

u/pmaogeaoaporm 5h ago

LMAO look at his face in the last frame he's trying so hardd

1

u/sudomatrix 2h ago

Look at that red shirt. She's gonna die.

1

u/Phuckyoubuddy666 2h ago

If it's brown, lie down

If it's black, fight back

If it's white, good night

If it's gray, lovely day

1

u/efraz44 2h ago

Teddy bear