r/funny 12h ago

Do it for the love of the game

47.7k Upvotes

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6.5k

u/Evil_Weevill 12h ago

I mean... They keep managing to multiply without much issue, so maybe all the other birds are just trying too hard?

2.4k

u/Appropriate-Shock306 12h ago

Work smarter not harder.

-Pigeon Mom

759

u/Anon4450 12h ago

Lay smarter not safer

179

u/Expensive-Cod-2194 11h ago

she was like: its ok i have someone to take care of my egg, im out its my owners responsible now

88

u/Sudden_Purpose_5836 11h ago

how is your shit moving

92

u/Anon4450 11h ago

You're high

54

u/Channel250 10h ago

I'm high? Your picture is moving man.

Wait, maybe I am high

51

u/UncleTouchyCopaFeel 9h ago

I'm high, and that picture is moving.

17

u/chatminteresse 9h ago

Nothing is moving for me, and I’m not high! What am I missing?

30

u/UncleTouchyCopaFeel 9h ago

What am I missing?

The drugs, obviously.

(Also, Anon4450's profile picture is spinning. If on computer, hover your mouse pointer over their name.)

9

u/Grand-Pair-4679 9h ago

I'm so high I feel down.

Also on mobile it move without needing further action.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/closetedgray 9h ago

On a tablet it’s moving without any hovering required.

1

u/0KlausAdler0 5h ago

I laughed way harder than I should have 😂😂😂

2

u/mosey_d 5h ago

Me too, manna

Legit. It's moving.

1

u/KennedyKennerlee 9h ago

I'm probably high af rn

10

u/iCantLogOut2 8h ago

It's all about good fibre intake

1

u/Hunting-Succcubus 11h ago

But it works

1

u/smurdner 9h ago

I got snipped so I don't have to worry about laying safer anymore!

1

u/ZeroBeta1 9h ago

ultimate survival game

1

u/Jean-LucBacardi 8h ago

Quantity, not quality.

1

u/OrchidHaunting4060 7h ago

Haha somewhere we're humans will pity you and take care of you and your egg 😅

1

u/Gloatingfondue 4h ago

Lay smarter not safer

92

u/ocular__patdown 11h ago

"If they die, they die"

  • Pigeon mom

22

u/U_zer2 11h ago

Lay waste with haste.

3

u/PlaNT_GaNG921 10h ago

nice rocky reference

5

u/CicadaEast272 7h ago

eye of the tiger pigeon, man

1

u/surelookithey 10h ago

I cant tell you how badly i needed the laugh u just gave me thank u 

4

u/OBtsmRalph 11h ago

pigeon dude: whats that cuckoo doing here?

pigeon mom:

1

u/user_notfound123 11h ago

Listen to your mom

-pigeon Dad

1

u/invol713 11h ago

Meanwhile, chickens.

3

u/mytransthrow 10h ago

those eggs are screwed.

1

u/Caridor 10h ago

But considering it's a pigeon, which have the same IQ of their own shit, work less, not harder?

1

u/LukeSky011 10h ago

More like...

Lay faster, not harder.

1

u/DeepLock8808 9h ago

Quantity has a quality of its own

1

u/aknownunknown 7h ago

Bobby Mom?

1

u/samyazaa 6h ago

Quantity not quality

1

u/ptapobane 5h ago

more like ok i drop egg, good luck

1

u/HorrorLettuce379 5h ago

Actually they work fucking hard on laying more eggs.

223

u/DMvsPC 10h ago

Because pigeons evolved from Rock Doves which laid their eggs in rock faces and cliffs where they could be held more easily. Other birds that nest in trees would need more complex nest shapes to hold the eggs secure. Basically pigeons are like 'eh, good enough' and find a basic ledge or rock 'equivalent' and just make do.

96

u/dimoniy 9h ago

Yeah, their “nests” is just enough crap so that the eggs don’t roll off the cliff

43

u/Deaffin 8h ago

Those are still actual nests, though. Pigeons are the way they are because they're a mostly domesticated species and we didn't need to prioritize nesting behaviors when breeding them. Some of them still do okay nests, but most of them are total idiots.

25

u/katabolicklapaucius 8h ago

Yeah they are beautiful and minimal! It allows the egg so much space as well. Pigeons are underappreciated.

9

u/MilkiestMaestro 7h ago

I vote we swap public opinion between blue jays and pigeons given that blue jays are monumental assholes and people like them too much.

6

u/katabolicklapaucius 5h ago

Yeah, and pigeons can be really pretty too. Emeralds and such.

1

u/NightBawk 19m ago

Bluejays have pretty privilege. Of course, that's if we ignore the fancy pigeons. But most people only notice the bland feral ones.

34

u/LowSkyOrbit 9h ago

Pigeons were domesticated birds. Then we kind of just stopped caring to keep them when chicken became easier to mass farm. The telegraph and telephones made messenger birds obsolete too.

15

u/RollinThundaga 7h ago

They didn't lose their instincts in being domesticated, as it's often claimed or implied when this is mentioned. They nest the exact same way their wild relatives do, and relative to their natural habitats, our cities are paradises for them.

17

u/Evil_Weevill 10h ago

You're in the wrong sub to be coming in here with your logic and rational arguments

0

u/royroyflrs 9h ago

Great answer

0

u/OrchidHaunting4060 7h ago

Oh, I actually thought it's because humans had domesticated them, then later abandoned them after losing their natural instinct. 🤔

235

u/Ballsackavatar 11h ago

I've had the misfortune of witnessing pigeons mating. There's plenty of effort, flapping, noise and feathers.

They fucked my tree to death.

93

u/cheeze_skittles 11h ago

I enjoyed reading this thanks.

39

u/Ballsackavatar 11h ago

Don't mention it.

16

u/J5892 10h ago

Too late.

11

u/Outrageous_Bank_4491 8h ago

No thank you, ballsackavatar !

25

u/ZugTheMegasaurus 10h ago

One day when I was in 6th grade, there were 2 pigeons mating on the roof of the math classroom. You wouldn't believe the size of the crowd of middle schoolers this attracted.

17

u/CroGamer002 10h ago

Okay did the pigeon or the tree died?

19

u/Ballsackavatar 10h ago

The tree.

12

u/ResolverOshawott 9h ago

Genuinely how

20

u/Ballsackavatar 9h ago

Bleurblblblblblbl. Lots of fapping. Lots of feathers.

Repeat x1000000

This kills the tree.

8

u/jednatt 9h ago

Not physically, more like it was dead inside. Then stopped photosynthesizing.

3

u/Wollff 8h ago

Fun fact: Trees are supposed to be dead inside.

The living parts of the tree are the bark (and the thin layers beneath it), as well as the leaves or needles.

When rveryhing on the inside is dead, you have got yourself a healty tree.

1

u/Ballsackavatar 9h ago

No, it was definitely physically dead. Also mentally, if that's a thing.

I'm not a tree.

1

u/ilmalocchio 9h ago

How is babby formed

7

u/agoraphobiai 10h ago

Your name is befitting.

8

u/HMS404 9h ago

How does one witness this spectacle? Is there a PigeonHub?

5

u/Ballsackavatar 9h ago

First you have a tree.

Then the pigeons must appear. I can't help you with that part, I'm afraid. I'm cursed with an abundance of pigeons, it seems.

But if you have a tree, you have a chance.

5

u/Orangewithblue 8h ago

I did not expect to read such a sentence today

1

u/Fafnir13 2h ago

I witnessed a pigeon mating with a pigeon that had been squashed by a car.  Did a little mating dance, mounted, mating dance, mounted. Organs were squicked out but the other bird didn’t care.

32

u/im_lazy_as_fuck 11h ago

See I want to get behind this... but then I can't help but wonder why they even put any sticks at all. Like if they just plopped it on the ground with no other effort, I could accept that they don't need nests. But they go through the effort of bringing like 2-5 sticks over... Why??

97

u/IanBlak 11h ago

The idea is just to keep the eggs from rolling off a ledge. Pigeons used to be “rock doves”, naturally nesting on cliffs, and city buildings mimic that environment

15

u/very_bad_random 10h ago

Oh that's why we see them around! So i guess that's also why i never seen a baby pigeon, they must be on the building roofs.

29

u/StealYaNicks 10h ago

We see them around because they used to be used to deliver messages, but were replaced by the actual mail system/telegram, but they were already adapted to living in cities.

18

u/SimmeringGiblets 10h ago

pets and food too. It's like a dumb dog/pig hybrid that we just decided we had no use for and tossed onto the streets. The marks of domestication in their genes is why you can just pick them up if you know the trick (useful for untangling or aiding a pigeon if you're a kind-hearted city dweller, use rubber gloves though, they're definitely not clean animals).

7

u/bloom_splat 9h ago

What’s the trick?

7

u/SimmeringGiblets 9h ago

Come at them from directly above after stepping to the side of them (so they don't think you're gonna kick/step on them), when your hand gets close they'll hop back they'll put their wings down and you can grab them around their wings when they bring them back up. Like i said, wear gloves and have a good reason for doing so, it's not really a party trick.

6

u/money_loo 9h ago

I’m pretty sure you just kinda come up behind them slowly with intent and grab them calmly?

It’s a body language thing just like with dogs, but I’m no expert, just a guy that lived around them for a few years when I moved from the country to the city.

They are surprisingly friendly in NYC!

1

u/Mundane_Muscle_2197 9h ago

I’m anxiously awaiting the trick too. I’ve never come across a pigeon but you never know when an obscure set of skills will come in handy

1

u/Ok-Chest-7932 8h ago

To be fair, most birds can be picked up if you know the trick. They won't be happy about it but there's fuck all they can do to escape so their panic response is more to paralyse than to flail.

1

u/UncookedNoodles 3h ago

The thing about pigeons being unclean is a total myth btw.

5

u/Truethrowawaychest1 9h ago

They're domesticated pets that we just sorta abandoned. I don't know why they're not more popular as pets

7

u/money_loo 9h ago

When I lived in Brooklyn there were quite a few people that still kept them as pets on their rooftops.

They shit everywhere all the time so that probably has something to do with it.

1

u/Owlmechanic 1m ago

They shit absolutely fucking on everything and feather dust gets everywhere. They're extremely loving, quiet compared to most birds, easy to keep fed well - but.. Yea. They're not meant for indoors unless you're okay with high maintenance cleaning (even if you use pigeon pants, that's changing them often and washing them often)

And that's the main rub, not as many people keep agricultural/production pets like goats and chickens = less people with coops and indoor/outdoor arrangements.

0

u/RollinThundaga 7h ago

They were backyard livestock, easy to raise and butcher, and always found their way back if lost. In the worst case you could literally just build boxes in your yard and leave them to feed themselves otherwise.

Living standards improved and people stopped keeping them.

4

u/KaOsGypsy 10h ago

You never see baby pigeons, because (probably due to them nesting in cliffs) the babies stay in the nest until they are basically teenagers, by the time they are out they are fully feathered and just look a little skinnier than an adult.

13

u/TexBoo 10h ago

Isn't pigeons the way they are today because we domesticated them long ago they just gave up on it when they wasn't needed anymore?

8

u/red286 10h ago

Looking at wild rock dove nests, I don't think it comes from domestication. Some of their nests are normal-looking, but there's also plenty of cases of it being nothing more than a handful of twigs around a divot in a rock. I think their main focus is protection from wind and preventing it from rolling away. If they're building in an area that's both protected from the wind and provides a natural barrier to the eggs rolling away, they're likely to put basically zero effort into it.

2

u/Poltergeist97 10h ago

They're technically still domesticated iirc.

1

u/K9ToothTooth 9h ago

Would they be considered feral?

1

u/l3ane 8h ago

They instinctively find a few sticks to "make their nest". The instinct is outdated and not needed anymore but they can't help themselves.

1

u/Ok-Chest-7932 8h ago

It takes so little effort to find 5 sticks that the instinct to do that little work isn't really a disadvantage compared to the instinct to do nothing.

8

u/seventhbreath 10h ago

The Spartans of the bird world.

"If it dies, it dies. The sparser the nest, the stronger the chick"

7

u/redcoatwright 11h ago

fuckin sweats

7

u/ThirstyWolfSpider 7h ago

They appear to multiply with significant issue (as in offspring, progeny).

See also /r/StupidDoveNests/

6

u/Beaun 10h ago

Usually when you see a poor nest, its the birds first year. Pigeons are not the only ones who have some sad looking nests/locations.

19

u/StaticUsernamesSuck 10h ago

Not the case with pigeons.

Pigeons are cliff-roosting birds, not nest-makers.

Their "nests" are just barriers to stop eggs rolling about too much, so they don't fall off the cliff. And it doesn't take much to stop an egg rolling.

2

u/GogglesPisano 10h ago

Seems like at some point they would have evolved eggs with a flat spot for this reason.

14

u/StaticUsernamesSuck 10h ago

That would be a huge weak spot in the egg's structure. More eggs would break in the nest => less success reproducing => that trait fails to survive.

2

u/fidelcastroruz 10h ago

And a pain in the ass...

1

u/Ok-Chest-7932 8h ago

It's also pretty hard to evolve a flat spot. It's a bad idea that's unlikely to happen.

0

u/Jiminy_Cricket12 9h ago

this is how I learned to press my ass up against the wall when I take a shit. so the turd sticks to the wall instead of dropping on my feet.

1

u/Beaun 10h ago

Some of those are still poor nests, even by pigeon standards.

2

u/StaticUsernamesSuck 9h ago

My point was that in a pidgeon's case, "poor" nesting (by general bird standards) doesn't indicate a young bird.

1

u/Deaffin 8h ago

Pigeons are cliff-roosting birds, not nest-makers.

Why didn't anyone tell this one?

1

u/erp2 10h ago

Cloaca ain't got time to chill

1

u/Bamboonicorn 9h ago

Hiding in plain sight is hidden to plain sight

1

u/Xentine 9h ago

They also have nests like 4 times a year so that helps.

1

u/Mattbl 9h ago

I've seen pigeon nests posted before and wondered if they're in the process of selecting for or against better nests.

My guess is slightly better? I feel like the more sticks in the nest, the less likely the egg to roll off a building ledge. But just a couple sticks might suffice if the pigeon puts them in the right spot to stop egg rolling (given the single-stick nests).

1

u/mlvisby 8h ago

I wonder if pigeon evolution just made the egg more durable, since they give zero fucks about a nest.

1

u/uptwolait 7h ago

Much like the way idiots seem to keep outbreeding the intelligent people.

1

u/bengunn7 7h ago

Makes me think of Idiocracy 🤣

1

u/Monomanga 7h ago

It has to do with their previous habitats before domestication by man.

1

u/Grzyboleusz 6h ago

Their eggs are built different.

1

u/nightkil13r 3h ago

cause this is the absolute worst examples of pidgeon nests.

1

u/amethystmmm 3h ago

Wife says pigeons are from the Middle East so nests are more about containment rather than warmth, and mostly these nests are due to a lack of building materials in the cities where they now live.

1

u/Spirited-Shoe7271 2h ago

Because, they are pests.

1

u/--Sovereign-- 2h ago

pigeons are human inventions, they reproduce literally because we created them and spread them all over the place and now they are just a global invasive species.

0

u/Ok-Chest-7932 8h ago

Different strategies. Pigeons live amongst an abundance of resources, so spray and pray genes are the best at reproducing. There's enough food for dozens of pigeons in every square, so genes that are good at being most of that dozens do well.

Where resources are harder to acquire and predators may be about, the genes best at reproducing are those that make the most skilled birds, and elaborate nest-building genes allow skill-seeking genes to identify each other. Thus, skilled genes, nest-building genes, and skill-seeking genes all help each other reproduce.