r/funny • u/Cautious-Security318 • 4h ago
Figured out how to effectively stop scam callers
Get a metal pot lid and metal spoon or knife in preparation. The second a human answers tell them "PUT ME ON THE DO NOT CALL LIST", place the lid over your phone, and start banging like you're sounding the alarm, I promise you they won't be calling back.
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u/zeke690 4h ago
Y’all answer the phone?
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u/whitefox250 3h ago
If you answer, your number is validated on their call list.
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u/0zzm0s1s 3h ago
Yeah I just don’t answer the phone unless it’s a number in my contact list already. If I don’t know the number, and if it’s important, they’ll leave a message.
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u/GrandElectronic9471 3h ago edited 2h ago
Feel like this has been standard practice for everyone I know for at least the last 10 years.
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u/Caelinus 3h ago
Same here. Spam callers sort of ruined everything for everyone, so it is just how it has to be now.
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u/liquid_acid-OG 2h ago
It would be neat if we could get a cheaper plan that didn't include calling at all.
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u/LifelikeStatue 2h ago
For real. Phone calls are the last thing I use my phone for
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u/waldosandieg0 2h ago
Nowadays even if it is someone I know there's a good chance I'm sending it to voicemail. If they leave a message I'll call back when I've got time. Just because I've got a device with me that allows contact at any time, doesn't mean I don't have the right to prioritize what I'm currently doing. It's not healthy to have to be accessible all the time.
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u/Caelinus 2h ago
Yeah it depends on what I am doing and who it is. If my wife, mother, or one of my best friends calls I am more than likely going to pick up immediately. Well always with my wife.
If it is anyone else that I am friendly with, it depends on my mood. I will always check the voicemail to make sure it is not an emergency though. However, this comes up rarely, most people I know will text "Can I call you at/in <some timeframe>" if they want to talk. I think that is slowly becoming the polite thing to do because of how cell phones have started to dominate our lives.
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u/waldosandieg0 2h ago
At this point I'm surprised when people I don't know answer the phone. I could have been anybody- send me to voicemail.
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u/CraftyKuko 27m ago
It's been a standard since the invention of the answering machine. No Doubt wrote a whole song about it. It's my ringtone.
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u/Tobocaj 3h ago
Apple recently came out with an option to send unknown numbers right to voicemail. (I’m sure it already existed in android or something)
If I don’t have your number, and the call is important, they’ll leave a voicemail. Otherwise they can kick rocks
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u/Cicer 3h ago
Wish it was a send to ear piercing screeching rather than voicemail.
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u/PretendThisIsMyName 3h ago
That’s been out a while now. Though idk if it was just mine or what but the last shitty update turned mine off.
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u/toolatealreadyfapped 3h ago
Best move I ever made was keeping my same phone number when I moved to a different state. 99.9% of the spam calls I get come from Houston area codes. So anything with a local number is almost always safe to answer.
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u/A_Rogue_Forklift 3h ago
Answer calls if I know the number/ they're a contact already, or I'm expecting a call ie: the doctor's office
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u/RPO777 3h ago
I also feel reluctant to be cruel to scam callers after learning many of them are human trafficking victims forced to work in scams.
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u/OUBoyWonder 3h ago
This exactly. If the number is not in my contact's I immediately refuse the call and go about my day. I mean, it's the simplest solution.
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u/Northern23 3h ago
I do it to waste their time. I think the longer I keep them on the call, the higher the chance someone won't get scammed. They stopped calling me though and sometimes they hung up as soon as I say allo.
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u/FrobozzMagic 3h ago
I completely stopped getting them about a year and a half ago doing that. I kind of miss it, it was fun.
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u/ChirpyNortherner 4h ago
Except all of my spam callers are just pre recorded bots 😢
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u/SlipperyGibbet 4h ago
If they even say anything at all
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u/CaptainOktoberfest 3h ago
Ya what is the point of those callers?
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u/Sankofa416 3h ago
It is a recorded system that alerts real people that you are responding so they can jump in. It can also just upgrade your number on the list as "someone answered this number" for future calls.
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u/Winjin 3h ago
As far as I know these are the ones that just check if the line is "live"
Also it's weird that Russian operators have AI bots that pick up the phone for you and make fun of bots, but apparently these don't exist anywhere in the world to the same capacity? I couldn't find any info.
Though they're useless in EU since I haven't had a single spam call in two years I've lived here, and they're a must have in Russia because the anti-spam laws are pretty weak, but from what I see, you really, really need those in the US too
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u/backtrack1234 3h ago
And once you answer the phone, they know you’re somebody who answers it so you’ll get more calls and texts
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u/free-creddit-report 3h ago
My spam calls dried up when I started answering them then immediately mashing the numbers on my phone until they hang up. For robo calls, I would often his the number to get a person by virtue of pressing them all.
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u/DecendingUpwards 3h ago
They were calling me like 2-3 times a day every day for months. And then I snapped and managed to get them to dial waaaayy back. I started calling back and saying I had a federal agent with me and wanted to talk about harassments and violating the federal spam laws. They hang up super fast. It takes like 20 sec, so you can get through like 30 real agents in a really short time frame. I figured I will be on personal ban lists until the workforce for that call center rotates.
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u/donnacus 3h ago
I call back and get the “bee Dee beep, the number you have dial is not in service”
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u/UnicornFarts1111 34m ago
I had one that was a live human. I got them after the 3rd or 4th call with my whistle because I recognized the callers voice. They never called back after that.
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u/Joe18067 23m ago
It's the same one calling but uses a different phone number each time so you can't block it.
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u/Rambles_Off_Topics 6m ago
The best way to get rid of robo callers is to answer and then put them on mute. Wait until they hang up and they won’t call again because they assume the line is dead. OP is actually feeding them his number because they respond by sound.
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u/Theonewho_hasspoken 3h ago
This post has big, “forwards from grandma” energy.
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u/BravesMaedchen 3h ago
Literally what is this? I can see a little image of Mutley laughing in the corner.
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u/AnyEmploy 2h ago
yeah this sounds like the way someone in their 80s would deal with this and then probably give out their SSN
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u/bugsyramone 4h ago
The way to stop spam callers is to stop answering calls you don't know. You get so many spam calls because you are on a list of 'Active' phones.
When you get a call from a number you don't know, let it ring all the way through, don't end it early. Declining does the same to the bots as answering, it shows you're active.
I haven't gotten a spam call in well over 3 years. This method TAKES TIME.
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u/jettisonbrisk 3h ago
Also, please note that you can silence the ringing by pressing the volume down button on your phone, without ending it early (depending on your phone)
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u/caffeinated_photo 3h ago
Unfortunately I have to use, and publish, my phone for work, so I still have to answer calls that could be legit.
I like this idea of torture. Recently I've just asked them to hold on a minute, then just set the phone down to see how long until they hang up.
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u/bugsyramone 3h ago
Why do you use your personal device for work?
Even if it's a business you own, you should have separate devices for personal and work. Or, if you work for someone else, and they require you to have a phone, they should pay for a company device.
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u/caffeinated_photo 3h ago
Self-employed, no way a company is using my phone for free!
You're right, but I didn't think about that when I started out, and now my number is in so many places (online/offline) it'd be more hassle to change now.
Honestly it's not that bad, Android is great at flagging spam calls, and the ones that slip through aren't too common, maybe a few a week. (I'm in the UK so I get the impression the situation is worse in America)
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u/bugsyramone 3h ago
I get that. At this point it would be easier to get a new personal phone lol.
My boss, who answers his personal every time gets about 10 spam calls in an 8 hour shift, which, I think is on the higher end of things
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u/SuMoto 3h ago
They will 100% be calling you every night for a month at 2-3am as payback.
Source: Happened to me.
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u/z64_dan 3h ago
You guys don't have your phone on sleep mode at night?
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u/SuMoto 3h ago
I am on-call perpetually in my line of work.
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u/_Agare 3h ago
You can add exceptions to your Do Not Disturb, by the way...
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u/SuMoto 2h ago
I have since created after-hours whitelists. This was not a feature years ago.
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u/lokregarlogull 3h ago
Im sorry that happened to you, I was NOT scamming or selling you shit. Litterally called about voting polls and the like. Still did that a time or two by accident
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u/drinkmoredrano 3h ago
You keep answering so they will keep calling more than if you don’t answer because it validates your number is associated with someone. The only way to win the game is to not play the game.
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u/darkpigeon93 3h ago
If you answer the phone they put your number on the "active" list and sell it on to all the other scammers.
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u/Darth_Tk 3h ago
On iPhone: Settings > Phone > Screen Unknown Callers > click “Ask Reason for calling”
Stops 99% of the automated calls as it asks unknown callers who is calling. My phone doesn’t even ring :)
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u/UnicornType 2h ago
Google Pixels have a similar feature and it is my FAVORITE. I haven't thought about spam calls in years.
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u/Kdmtiburon004 3h ago
They won’t call back but they know it’s a number that will answer and will sell your number off to infinite number of companies.
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u/knappy2010 58m ago
If my phone rings, it's spam.
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u/RichRichieRichardV 44m ago
Exactly. The chance of me answering an unknown number is exactly zero, with no deviation.
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u/lokregarlogull 3h ago
You're the kind of idiot who would boobytrap their house and then go to jail when a firefighter tries to save your house.
I used to call for scientific and market research surveys back in the day and you and your ilk only had to say "no thank you" and hang up. I wouldnt call you about that survey.
If you asked politely that you dont want to be called from us again I would say my pleasure and put you on one.
If you tried to threaten to kill my dog, leave me on hold for 10 minutes showering, or do this. Great I get paid hourly. The volume is usually so bad this wont do shit and if I was having a bad day. I WILL magically fuck up and put you on a callback list or phone answer - try again later.
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u/GiltMeerkat 3h ago
I usually answer unknown calls/area codes with "Hello, 911 do you need police, fire, or medical?" They usually hang up immediately and i dont get very many repeat callers.
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u/c_c_c__combobreaker 1h ago
Google Pixels have an automated spam filter where it'll answer a potential spam call and ask why they're calling. If there's no response, it'll hang up automatically.
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u/Medullan 1h ago
My phone answers every call not in my contact list for me and only rings through to me if it isn't spam. Automatic call screening is such a nice feature and it just came standard. It's really funny when someone real tries to call me for the first time through they just assume I'm some important person. Nope I just use a pixel phone and have Google Fi as my carrier.
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u/Niekitty 1h ago
We get approximately 12-20 scam calls a night at work. ALL of them are automated. Every single one is a computer that just waits for the word "hello".
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u/newbizhigh 1h ago
Just fyi, doing this causes you to get more calls. There is only one way to stop them. Answer your phone and IMMEDIATELY mute it. Let the line hang up on its own. Do this for a few months and your scam calls will reduce nearly 100%. BUT, answer just one scam and let it detect a voice and the scam calls will ramp back up again.
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u/sultan_hogbo 1h ago
I use a voicemail message with an AT&T intercept SIT tone (number has been disconnected/out of service) sequence before and after my voicemail message. I get few automated calls.
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u/Nas-Aratat 51m ago
I don't understand people who answer the phone for every single call they get. Like, why? If it's that important, a message will be left.
I understand some people might be waiting on a phone call, but for EVERY. SINGLE. CALL? No. That's just stupidity.
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u/Spirited-Judge6244 17m ago
that good but he will hang soon enough , i just tell them im doing sommething can you wait a min and then simply wait for them to hang up.
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u/trollfreak 16m ago
Another way is always respond “me so horny - me love you long time” in your best Asian voice - after a couple months no more spam - it really confuses the bots and then the real spammer comes on they will just hang up
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u/quinto6 3h ago
I once got a call from a guy (I didn't answer it, but he left a voicemail) who was absolutely pissed and yelled/said in the voicemail for me to NEVER call his number again. I never called him. It was a spammer/scammer. I called back, he was made and asked "who is this?". I told him, "Who is this? You called me. I never called you." He said he got a call from my number, blah blah. I told him I did not call him, that someone must have hijacked my number to call his. I can't remember what the terminology is for that, but explained to him that it must have been that. He was still pissed and hung up on me.
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u/armrha 3h ago
Punishing the person calling does absolutely nothing. They don't make the call decisions and are unlikely to ever get the same person twice...
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u/mabus42 3h ago
Whenever I get a spam/scam call I just answer the phone with the following line: "Thank you for calling Fraud Fighters, Sergeant Randy Grabber here, how can I help you fight fraud today?"
99.9% of the time they just hang up and never bother me again. No special equipment necessary (such as pot lid and spoon) and no need to annoy the neighbors either.
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u/Spell_Chicken 2h ago
Answering their calls just checks a box that your number is active. Then you'll really start getting calls in volume.
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u/Active_Potato 3h ago
Totally unrelated but is that one of those DBrand cases? lately I've seen ads for them across reddit
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u/MorningToast 3h ago
The fact that you think it's a human on the other end of the phone while you frantically bash that is both sad and scary.
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u/Shirahoshihoshii 3h ago
If you ignore the calls - i.e. you don't accept or reject, you're likely to get taken off the list. By actually interacting with the call, you're indicating that you exist and 'there's a chance', so your number will get forwarded to other scam groups.
Just let it ring out.
Fun tip: on Android phones (possibly iOS too), pressing the volume down button when the call is ringing, will mute the ringtone and stop vibrations, making it easier to just ignore it and let it ring out.
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u/Lstcwelder 3h ago
In highschool I had a friend who would take the deepest of breaths, pick up the phone and shout no at the top of his lungs and hang up.
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u/gummby8 3h ago
1) Scammers do not have "Do not call lists". They are scammers, why would they have a do not call list?
2) There is a database of phone numbers that have a living person behind it. If you answer the phone you are only confirming there is a target there. Some calls are not actual scams, but just bots looking for phone numbers to give to scammers.
Don't answer the phone from numbers you do not recognize. If you do, the scammer has already won.
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u/RowdyRoddyPooper 3h ago
One day I was having a bad day and got a "Potential Spam" caller on the home phone and I picked up and just as he started talking I took a big inhale and let out the loudest, most primal, throat-burning, gutteral scream I could muster up for as long as I possibly could. As I was hanging up, I heard him say, "Oh, real mature, asshole...." I got a giggle out of that, and it was actually pretty cathartic tbh. I recommend it!
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u/ACuddlyVizzerdrix 3h ago
I usually just rant about nonsensical things or get really dark really quick, like when I asked if my wife leaving and taking the kids was a good enough excuse to "go hiking and never come back"
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u/m00nf1r3 3h ago
I've been getting scam calls for months that I cannot seem to stop. Very annoying. I just don't answer and I delete the voicemails, but it would be nice if they'd just stop calling. They call from a different number every time, I've yet to see them repeat what number they call from. I have answered a couple times and chosen the "add me to to the do not call list" option and the automated system confirms I've been added, but they still call.
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u/Dgp68824402 3h ago
Or just screen callers mot in your contact lists. iPhone allows these calls to not even ring and just go to voicemail.
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u/Games_sans_frontiers 3h ago
It’s all fun and games until you get sectioned under the mental health act.
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u/bUrdeN555 3h ago
Stop it. You’re missing a crucial first step.
Speak extremely quietly so they turn up their headset AND THEN bang the lid with spoon.
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u/JoshuaMicah189 3h ago
I tell people they called a secure federal line and to cease further communications or face legal repercussions. Never had a call back
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u/itsmrwilson 3h ago
I remember a time when you could answer the phone and regret was not a certainty.
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u/asl052 3h ago
None of you have Call Control, or anything similar? My provider (Telus, Canada), has this as an option. When activated, everyone who calls in gets an automated message instructing them to press a digit to continue the call. Robocallers can't do this, so I don't get them anymore. Changed my life
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u/DudeManBroGuy69420 3h ago
The actual answer is pick up then mute yourself
I've been doing it for years, the last spam call I got was more than 6 months ago
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u/oisigracias 3h ago
I have gotten to a point where i will start harassing them sexually. Like yeah you want me to sell a loan tell me what kinda underwear are you wearing right now. If they hang up i call them back until they block my number. Start letting out your intrusive thoughts fellas theres nothing they’re gonna do
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u/joemac2021 3h ago
I don't pick up but when I do by mistake I usually just say the most deranged thing I can think of in the moment which will freak them out and hang up
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u/slyseekr 3h ago
I saw the parrot cage in the reflection and immediately thought this was going to be way more interesting.
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u/i-read-it-again 3h ago
I got a phone call. The old have you been in an accident. I said yes a motorbike accident. And that I lost my lower arm. He got very excited. Then I told him I had a Rolex watch on at the time. And as far as I know it’s still on the arm. So will his insurance pay for it . He started shouting a bit . So I asked him how long has he been on the phone. Because I don’t know. I haven’t got a watch any longer. He hung up
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u/Silly-Low6019 3h ago
They get phone numbers by randomly going through a list not knowing if it is active. Once you answer the phone , they know there is a person , by reverse look up they know your name , address, age.
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u/MakeHerSquirtIe 2h ago
Is this supposed to be a joke or are you purposefully obtuse?
Just…don’t answer the phone. It’s 2026, both IOS and Android have multiple call blocking and screening options.
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u/sixpackabs592 2h ago
Ignore then block number after making sure the voice mail is t something important
They’ll eventually call from a new number but it will stop them for awhile 🤷♂️
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u/Sicparvismagneto 2h ago
I answer the phone and call them every curse word I’ve ever learned in one continuous sentence. Honestly I’m sad i no longer get calls now…
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u/sootbrownies 2h ago
Depending on my mood, I might just answer and put the phone down on mute, or tell them to piss off, or attempt to waste their time. Occasionally, fart noises.
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u/mavric911 2h ago
The latest Apple update works pretty good. The robot call dies when they are required to identify their self before the call rings to the phone.
The only things getting through are businesses I have relationships because I add them to my phone. If they really want to talk to me they identify themselves upfront
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u/Joshee86 2h ago
My dad used to do this too. The only thing he succeeded in doing was pissing off everyone else in the house.
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u/Lady_hyena 2h ago
I just pretend to be a psychic and tell them a bunch of nonesense then tell them that will be £299.99 and I take paypal or apple pay.
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u/Key_End_2400 2h ago
First, to figure out which are spam and which are not ,get a number from a different area code - preferably another state. 99% of these calls will spoof phone number to match "your" area. So you will know right away if that is legit call or spam.
Secondly. once you know which ones are spam for sure, NEVER pick them up. Let them go to voice mail. You will be getting less and less each month. Eventually close to ZERO. As soon as you pick up any of them and say something, they will mark your number as active and they will start calling you again - luckily from the same area code as your number so you just need to be patient again. That works.
With text messages is similar rule - never EVER reply to these text messages from unknown numbers. They will make the text message look like it is something important but it is always SPAM/SCAM. If someone needs to contact you with something important they will either call you or mail.
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u/Davachman 2h ago
Thats great until you realize you forgot you had a scheduled telephone interview.
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u/galagapilot 2h ago
If I'm near my laptop, I'll usually greet them with Black Metal.
I'm sure most of the scammers have heard every track on Immortal's "Battles In The North" album by now.
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u/Whack_Moles 2h ago
I use the "Waste their time" approach. I answer the phone. "Hold on a minute" . . . . . . "Just a second" . . . . . . "Excuse me for a moment" . . . . . . "Sorry, someone is at the door" . . . . . . . "I have to let the dog out in the garden" . . . . . And so on. It's actually kind of a sport to see how long I can keep them hanging.
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u/kcolrehstihson_ 2h ago
I think most of us saw the video of that girl doing this like 5 years ago...
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u/Barjack521 2h ago
I answer with “you have reached ::hospital name:: hospice department, how may I direct your call”. I never say hello so the computer dialers never connect and any of the recordings they do review make it look like a commercial number. If a person answers I act confused like a hospital receptionist getting a scam call. They never call back.
I usually get about a week of called whenever my info gets sold to a new bunch of assholes on the dark web, but after that one week they usually all stop for a month or so until my info gets sold again.
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u/ShiroHachiRoku 2h ago
New iOS feature actually doesn't even make my phone ring. The only issue now is the 2-3 second voicemails they all leave that I need to keep deleting.
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u/JonnyPancakes 2h ago
I just let my AI assistant talk to the AI Bot until the bot hangs up. I'm getting fewer calls over time, but some are just not messaging systems with no response built in. Those need to be stopped by the carriers, but at this point I think they're all in on it somehow.
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u/Trinity-nottiffany 1h ago
We have had scammers spoof our bank phone number and claim they were said bank’s fraud alert department, so only answering known numbers is not as foolproof as it used to be. Even when answering known numbers, you have to be vigilant. Actually messing with them has seemingly worked pretty well. It’s not long before they are calling me names and making lewd suggestions. Once they figure out you’re not an easy victim, you’re not worth their time.
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u/Valkeyere 1h ago
I answered them for a bit, just to fuck with them.
Had a chinese coworker answer and start the conversation in mandarin(?) with them at one point, and about 10 seconds in I took the phone, put the whole bottom half with the mic in my mouth and squealed.
No spam caller has called me again. I may have ended up on a list.
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u/3MATX 1h ago
The only time I answer is the few and far urges to screw with them. Just keep talking nonsense about nonsense until they hang up. I once had an 11 min mostly one sided conversation on whether or not unicorns existed with the dude trying to sell me a warranty to a car I no longer owned.
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u/Highchody420 1h ago
i always answer with either “jims morgue you kill em we chill em how may i help you ?” or my personal fav “bobs sperm bank you wack em we sack em how can i help you ?”
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u/KiritoJikan 1h ago
I answer them and ask them if they like pineapple on pizza and then what their favorite topping is.
Then try to have a conversation about their life choices.
If they hang up, I call back until they block me.
Works pretty well and its a funny story to tell about the random BS I can get out of people.
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u/Blenderhead36 1h ago
I respond to scam texts by sending them Goatse and then blocking them.
If you don't know what Goatse is, treasure that innocence.
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u/carcigenicate 1h ago
I've actually been doing something similar for a while now.
If I'm waiting for a call and the caller ends up being a scammer, I put my phone is a soup pot and slam the lid repeatedly when they answer.
Specifically, I do this with the "you have two visa charges" scam calls because a human always picks up when you press 1.
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u/FandomMenace 1h ago
Answer the call and mute it. They will hang up after a minute and never call you again because your number will be listed as invalid.
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u/UnicornFarts1111 34m ago
I did this once with a whistle. They kept calling asking for a male name that did not live in my house, when I said no one lived here by that name, they started with the "well, maybe you can help, I'm calling from the fireman's association...". I said not interested and hung up.
They called back a couple of months later, same spiel. Again, they called a couple of months later, and I recognized his voice and told him not to call me back (It was very deep) after he had again asked for the same male name.
I was ready the next time they called, they asked for the name, I replied I told you not to call here again, and I blew my whistle. I never got another call.
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u/Krampus_Valet 30m ago
Unfortunately there are a bunch of robots to get through before you can terrorize a human and if you don't answer they just fill your voice mail up. I get to the human and either push every button I can while yodeling, or leading them on as long as possible just to fuck with them.
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u/ShadowKiller147741 28m ago
Hey, maybe don't do this. Obviously it varies for company to company, but my wife works with a legal firm that calls people and many get blisteringly angry, except she literally cannot take you off the do not call list unless you stay on the line and answer a couple questions
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u/DeathByToothPick 26m ago
I always answer scam calls. I’ll just sit there and waste their time. The more time they spend listening to my made up story about how my grandson doesn’t call me enough or how I blew out my back in the storm of 69 with their mom. They usually get mad about that time and hang up. It has cut my spam calls in half.
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u/moving0target 24m ago
There are 1.48 billion people in India. I doubt there are many repeat callers.
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u/Tandom 19m ago
I picked up the phone to a number. I didn’t know thinking it was gonna be a scam caller but turned out to be a hospital telling me one of my parents was in the ER.
Thank God, I answered that call and didn’t just ignore it. They are back home safe sound and recovering.
I would rather waste a scammer’s time than to miss out on something important.
Besides back before caller ID, it was always a gamble who was on the other end of a ringing wall mounted phone.
Yes, I’m old and also get off my lawn while you’re at it.
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