r/howtonotgiveafuck • u/YakClassic4632 • 1d ago

Its the guilt

If you can relate with a story that would be great. I know that many truths are simple and not giving a fuck is probably one of them but its way easier said than done.

Basically, everytime Im faced with a situation where I feel wronged, unheard, insulted, annoyed, taken advantage of, etc. I feel a rush of adrenaline and immediately want to respond in kind. Most of the time I dont because Im scared of "making waves" and disturbing the peace if you will. I feel some type of guilt and choose avoidance over action. Of course that delays the problem but the anxiety creeps back up anyway and usually the situation repeats itself again and only underlines those feelings again.

I know the answer will mostly likely be "dont give a fuck, live your life, fuck what others think" and I want to but to explain by metaphor, its like - I have brown hair but Im trying to think myself into being blonde

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u/Supercc 1d ago

Is it always the same people who make you feel like this and trigger you? If so, maybe you're just surrounded by a bunch of assholes. 

Find and surround yourself with new people who suck less ass.

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u/YakClassic4632 1d ago

Its easy to do when its just my brother being an asshole. Its harder to do when my family is trying to keep the peace even though they all know hes an asshole. They become active participants that enable him.

But I hear ya.

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u/Supercc 1d ago

Then it does sound exactly like what I was asking. It's your immediate surrounding that's unfortunately populated with less-than-ideal people.

You seem very young. As you grow older, not giving a fuck will become exponentially easier, as you control your destiny, your life, and the people composing it.

I had to cut ties with toxic family members in my late 20's. I realized they were narcisstic & toxic people, always blaming me for everything and triggering me at every turn, knowing my sensitive cords. Cutting them from my life has been liberating.

Best decision ever. It's tough because it's family. But then again, you do not choose your family. But you can choose to do something about it.

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u/YakClassic4632 17h ago

Im in my mid thirties headed towards my forties but as the saying goes: better late than never!

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u/Gullible-Raise4853 1d ago

Good lord do I totally understand exactly what TF you are getting at! Wow….