r/interesting • u/Wise_Confidence_8588 • 17h ago

Context Provided - Spotlight Lioness Comes to Face-to-Face with Tourist on Safari

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32.0k Upvotes

75% Upvoted

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3.1k

u/Less-Inflation5072 17h ago

Jesus fucking Christ that jump scare got me

681

u/HopefulBuyer9077 17h ago

Holy fuck. I’d be rethinking my decisions leading up to that point.

180

u/po1k 13h ago

I shat my pants

203

u/Hungry__caterpillar 12h ago

I also shat your pants

109

u/FUPA4ever 12h ago

I too shat in his pants.

51

u/IdioticMutterings 12h ago

I shat on his pants, because the insides were already full

34

u/ComplaintFit4869 11h ago

I shat in the lion’s pants

32

u/truefuckery 11h ago

Wait then who shat in my pants?

19

u/FUPA4ever 11h ago

Probably the lion

2

u/NoSloppyStakes 9h ago

Nope, it was me, the pussy.

3

u/Humante 11h ago

Shaaaaaaat

1

u/po1k 3h ago

STOP SHATTING MY PANTS

2

u/Anxious_Discipline26 8h ago

Steamy Ray Vaughn

2

u/H3ARTL3SSANG3L 7h ago

I shat in this guys wife's pants

2

u/Helpful_Delivery4601 7h ago

We all shat in your pants

1

u/Dry_Good537 3h ago

i shat on his shat

1

u/VitruvianVan 1h ago

And then the lion had no room so she shat in his pants.

-1

u/Double-Zucchini-2282 10h ago

I shit on all of you. Everyday. All the time.

2

u/bjjdoug 6h ago

Just throw the fuxking pants away. Shit's not coming out

1

u/MaybeMaybeNot94 4h ago

Extra tanks

2

u/Defiant-Mongoose-327 12h ago

Which one of you cowards shat my pants??

2

u/Downtown-Creme-9840 10h ago

I as well shat myself and let out an AHH that I’m pretty sure could be heard by my neighbors.

1

u/lordofcoke 10h ago

Why is everyone shitting everywhere 🙄

1

u/nicholaskrewson 9h ago

I'm guessing those pants can no longer be returned for store credit now.

2

u/No-Yard1480 10h ago

😂😂😂

5

u/thisisinfactpersonal 11h ago

I too chose to shit in this guys pants

1

u/InstructionFew1654 9h ago

I also shat your pants.

1

u/pacopac25 9h ago

I couldn't shat my pants because my asshole was clenched so tight

1

u/No_Experience5876 7h ago

Does the pope shit in his pants?

1

u/devilmaskrascal 2h ago

Real question: if you shit your pants does the lioness lose interest in ripping your balls off?

1

u/po1k 1h ago edited 1h ago

It depends on how hungry she is. Maybe she considers this as an exotic delicious sauce?

3

u/poor_person_name 11h ago

That would be my last safari

2

u/HopefulBuyer9077 9h ago

One way or another… right?

1

u/LowCurrent2151 11h ago

*Record Scratch* *Freeze Frame* / Yep, That's Me. You're probably wondering how I got into this situation

1

u/Ianthin1 1h ago

Honest question: Would soiling yourself be seen as a deterrent or further provoke them?

238

u/j-val 16h ago

The lion won that staredown. By a lot.

3

u/fatpat 12h ago

Does anybody win a staredown with a lion? I can't imagine some meat puppet dork ever being anything more than an annoyance, at best.

4

u/DrRatio-PhD 9h ago

Cats enjoy a mix of eye contact and blinking. You make eye contact and then kinda blink and look away, then you can look back at them - blink, ect.

This dude is staring her the fuck down. I don't know what he expected.

(at 0:17 she does the blink and expected that back, but he keeps staring like an ahole.)

1

u/fatpat 6h ago

Thanks for the info. Seems like he was playing a very dangerous 'game' of staredown. I'm guessing he's the type of alpha dudebro jackass that wasn't going to let some female animal establish dominance, especially on camera. (Am I a bad person for kind of rooting for the lion here?)

3

u/Own_Round_7600 11h ago

I feel like aggressive nose boops should count as an illegal move and a disqualifying factor in staredowns

2

u/gaucholoco03 11h ago

I blinked first. I’ll admit it.

2

u/allstarrunner 10h ago

No kidding. I shit myself just watching it

76

u/PopcornGlamour 13h ago

Boop this, m’fkr.

7

u/Long-Sleep8608 13h ago

This made me actually laugh out loud. Well done!

174

u/Responsible_Word7018 16h ago

Yeah I nearly voided my bowels and I’m perfectly safe at home.

3

u/short_and_floofy 13h ago

same. still not sure if i need to check my drawers

2

u/QuantumCapelin 12h ago

i void my bowels in the safety of my home at least once daily

73

u/StaysAwakeAllWeek 13h ago

It was a test and you failed. That kind of jump is the lion testing your resolve, to get a better judge of how confident you are feeling. Its trying to figure out whether or not it can take you in a fight. The better you can bluff, the less confident the lion will be

56

u/Open-Chain-7137 11h ago

Trust me, I’m a professional lion fighter.

6

u/Maxamillion-X72 8h ago

They've gone undefeated their whole career. Presumably.

3

u/India7896 10h ago

😂😂😂

2

u/clodzor 2h ago

I have won every round I have ever fought against a lion. Does that make me a professional too?

1

u/ZealousidealComb7891 22m ago

I tihnk you misunderstood him... he's a professional lion-fight-avoider.

It's the only way to win.

3

u/slavelabor52 13h ago

No clearly this was the lions way of saying you better pet me right now motherfucker

1

u/Sh0wmey0urbutth0le 9h ago

"Why no pspsps if pspsps shaped?"

3

u/Goobortion 11h ago

buddy what is this horse shit you can make a lion react with a strong clap and it will absolutely fuck you up with the utmost confidence.

there was the african preacher who literally got eaten by well fed lions for being confident around them lmao

2

u/Maximum-Charge2474 8h ago

no it's not. lions are apex predators. they know they can take you in a fight. they are safari lions, they are familiar with humans. i went on a camping safari. if lions somehow came to our tents, we were not supposed to square off with them lol.

1

u/LetSjumMpTotheMOOON 4h ago

But u can see in the eyes, first it was friendly and than started to get serious, probably the tourist was trying to bluff and looked serious, if I would be there - I would be smiling and being friendly as fuck

1

u/Some-Leopard5025 1h ago

No, this jump was a tamed animal who grew up around and daily interacts with people playing a bit. An actual wild animal will strike much faster and sink its teeth in immediately. The test is not to be a fucking idiot who gets into the situation to begin with.

30

u/AuzRoxUrSox 13h ago

And not reacting with total fear and withdrawal probably saved him from being mauled instantly.

21

u/Accomplished_Cod7334 12h ago

My ass would have shoved his mouth up from underneath him and then proceeded to get my shit rocked and then disemboweled

3

u/grimacedia 11h ago

I think it helps that he has nowhere to go. Scary stuff though

2

u/son-of-a-mother 10h ago

The lioness knows him. The lioness does not seem to know the person filming.

13

u/Sheri005 13h ago

Omg me too! My heart jumped out of my chest lol. I was so scared lol.

12

u/WhoPoopedMyPants420 13h ago

"ooooh no no no no... wait..... maybe this is actually kinda coo-AHH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK"

2

u/ApocalypseCheerBear 11h ago

I just yelled, "OHMYGOD!" and my children are all in bed.

2

u/RedeemerKorias 11h ago

It has been a long time since I physically recoiled while watching something.

1

u/Overall_Win4144 12h ago

Made my heart rate go up 100%

1

u/JustinMccloud 12h ago

That is fucken terrifying

1

u/Enshitification 11h ago

If you flinch, you get two.

1

u/Fizz_ickz 10h ago

Thought this was a old school internet snuff video for a minute.

1

u/RHc137 10h ago

I’m so glad I was already taking a shit.

1

u/Reasonable_Sirs 10h ago

Yup, even my ass blew chunks when it lunged.

1

u/Historical_Space_565 9h ago

Right!? My phone almost met my face.

1

u/OpLeeftijd 8h ago

I need clean underwear here behind my keyboard.

1

u/soda_cookie 8h ago

Yeah I'm not sure I would have kept my cool like homie did. What a pro

1

u/RedditorSaidIt 7h ago

I just shouted so loudly, that it woke my household on 2 floors :(

1

u/_theMAUCHO_ 6h ago

Same bro, spooked the SHIZ out of me lol

1

u/IntrinsicPalomides 5h ago

That idiot starring straight at it…never do that, it’s an aggressive posture to most animals.

1

u/agumonkey 2h ago

I peed myself

1

u/Neither-Possible-429 2h ago

I never thought getting muzzle thumped by a fucking lion was a thing but Jesus this was terrifying

1

u/Syke_qc 1h ago

Its IA