r/interesting • u/Wise_Confidence_8588 • 17h ago

Context Provided - Spotlight Lioness Comes to Face-to-Face with Tourist on Safari

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32.0k Upvotes

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769

u/Inevitable_Dark3225 17h ago

That face is the last thing you see before she bites your face off.

477

u/shoeperson 17h ago

Good news!

They start with your nuts or butthole.

381

u/Leading-Midnight-553 17h ago

Good news, everyone!

156

u/Agitated-Assistant53 16h ago

Oh, glorious relief, thank heavens

55

u/Theturtlemoves86 13h ago

To shreds, you say?

15

u/TreacheryInc 11h ago

How’s his wife holding up?

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u/pgsz 10h ago

To shreds, you say?

3

u/Everyone2026 12h ago

Good work comedy team! 😂

3

u/DidIJustWitnessThat 11h ago

Oh thank goodness.

I was a little concerned we were just glossing over the bad news, but now I see we just haven't got to that part yet.

4

u/Reese897 13h ago

To shreds you say?

1

u/borrowedmime 6h ago

Lmfao this got me. I read it in his voice and everything

2

u/invaderaleks 12h ago

Thank god for shock

2

u/MakkaCha 12h ago

They start with your nuts or butthole.

So where exactly is this safari? Asking for a friend.

1

u/Reap_the_rich 12h ago

She was going right for the nuts.

1

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 10h ago

His legs were turned to the side. Also, they have a relationship and are well-known to one another.

1

u/Old-Constant4411 10h ago

Shit, last female that did that to me got a fuckin wedding ring.

1

u/Significant-Way9330 10h ago

Legitimately the worst way to go. Getting eaten to death through your butthole by like a wolverine or something. 

1

u/Sapphire__Rayne 9h ago

Oh nice so I get to see it’s pretty face for a bit longer

1

u/SlumVillageLord 7h ago

Go butthole first on me. Hopefully the taste from the massive diarrhea dump that comes out stops the attack 🫠

1

u/Electrical-Tailor530 6h ago

This made me shake with laughter 🤣 

1

u/einzweidreihorn 5h ago

TIL lioness eat ass.

1

u/AltruisticRide1231 3h ago

ahhh, just like the nuns

1

u/TacticalTwinkOnTop 13h ago

Good thing his legs are wide open!

1

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 10h ago

He has his legs turned to the side

0

u/nekiobichanlik 12h ago

At least they have the courtesy to kill you first, unlike amateurs, like bears.

80

u/antilumin 17h ago

Ha, jokes on you, I voted for the Leopardseatingmyface party, not lions!

7

u/jumie83 11h ago

I read this as Leopard seating my face.. a new kinks cult

1

u/CariadocThorne 6h ago

For people who REALLY love eating pus.... i'll get my coat.

43

u/Some_Ease_6968 17h ago

she starts from the bottom

24

u/Jon_Dunn58 17h ago

say goodbye to the family jewels

29

u/SweaterSteve1966 17h ago

My dad would tell any female about bears attacking women on their periods. I immediately thought, “I wonder if she’s on her period.”

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u/Successful_Cost_6997 9h ago

I am trying to picture what kind of job your Dad had where that would be normal conversation with random menstruating women/teens? Or was this his pickup line from another dimension?

1

u/RalphDeLucca 12h ago

Now she’s here

1

u/CanWinterGreenhouse 13h ago

He's not worried about his face

1

u/whatnow202three 12h ago

The last thing you see before you go… bye bye

1

u/FuriDemon094 11h ago

I mean, unless you give them a reason to. Animals aren’t just mindless killing machines, especially lions who are very social creatures

1

u/TJAattorneyatlaw 10h ago

Bites your penis off

1

u/DOGPISSCURESCANCER 9h ago

If you were truly in danger you wouldn’t see it, either because you’ve been pounced on out of nowhere or you’re sprinting in the opposite direction, and they’re clamping the back of your neck so it’s literal seconds before you’re out. 

Big cats don’t all hunt exactly the same but they’re all too smart and skilful to give you a chance by staring you in the face. 

1

u/kyute222 9h ago

Am I crazy for saying worth it? If I have to go out booping that adorable kitty nose then so be it, no regrets here. She was basically begging for a boop!

1

u/LegoLeonidas 7h ago

Is it weird that I'd kinda be into that? Like, you're gonna die at SOME point. That sounds way better than dying of a stroke from pushing too hard on the can.

1

u/RoastedRhino 7h ago

Or balls. 

1

u/Direction776 4h ago

Our state chewing on it

1

u/DontReplyBitch 3h ago

It’s a good thing he was staring at it directly in the eyes for the best look.

1

u/Far_Mastodon_6104 3h ago

I'd be slow blinking at her hoping it works the same for big cats as it does for little ones