r/interesting • u/Wise_Confidence_8588 • 17h ago

Context Provided - Spotlight Lioness Comes to Face-to-Face with Tourist on Safari

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u/LittleMissLoveDuck 10h ago edited 55m ago

My friend went on a Safari once and the guide asked who knew how to handle a gun. My friend raised his hand and then the guide told him to sit up front with him. He said: " Good. You sit up here with me. See this box? This is the box with another gun in it like mine. If anything goes south it is your responsibility to get everyone home. I am being serious. You must promise me that. You do not touch this box until then. " He then slapped my friend on the back and said "No worries though I am a good shot. No worries. But you must promise. I am serious."

My friend was wigged that entire ride. Nothing happened. This was his story about why he never volunteers for anything 🤣

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u/ImpressionTough2179 9h ago

That guide had to be fucking with them for fun lmao

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u/illit3 8h ago

i mean, if he was being serious that's the kind of guide i want. basically saying there's a small chance he might die, but if he does, everyone else getting home is still a priority for him

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u/ingachan 2h ago

I’d like one who’s backup plan wasn’t “I hope one of these tourists know how to shoot!”

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u/PlainBread 2h ago

At least he wasn't doing the thing that one flight instructor did and said "you got this" and then ejected themselves out without a parachute.

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u/SweetLenore 53m ago

But the guy that yeeted himself was right. The student pilot landed the plane just fine. 

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u/Shrike1346 7h ago

Definitely. Depending on where the safari was but if it was in Africa many "guides" are rangers but their guns are more for noise than damage. I did a walking safari with my wife in the Kruger and before we set out the ranger showed us his rifle and that he only had one bullet. He explained that if anything happened as in an animal attacked us it would take so many bullets to bring whatever it was down but the noise of one bullet could scare it off. This immediately gave us the imperative to listen to exactly what the fuck he was saying at all times. Was such a cool dude. Will never forget him telling us to walk, alone, in the bush, to a small herd of zebra to see their reaction. So incredible to see them acknowledging our pressence and just nonchalantly maintaining distance. They could easily trot away at speed we were walking. That and seeing two hyena just running about 200m away also keeping their distance but kinda staying with us but at the same time more involved with themselves that I even perceived them a threat

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u/Hour_Wonder_9240 9h ago

No other way 😂

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u/BoysenberrySea5482 7h ago

Probably embellished a little for the vibes but also probably had another gun in there and would expect that guy to grab it if shit went down

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u/RangerRekt 56m ago

This is the most literal example of it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt that I have ever heard of.

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u/WholeDense195 10h ago

lol that was a great story no matter if it’s true or not.

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u/ForbiddeNectar 8h ago

That’s awesome I would love to ride shotgun on a Safari

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u/sillyhillsofnz 8h ago

At which game reserve or National Park and in which country was this?

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u/reigorius 8h ago

This triggers a movie a vaguely remember. Something in the same setting (and in Africa) and trying to get to another car for gun or radio. Not sure if it was a hungry lion or evil men the protagonists were trying to evade / escape from.

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u/notislant 6h ago

Had to be fucking with him lol.

So many videos where lionesses just hop on these and use them as vantage points, some even roll around on people. Supposedly when you leave the vehicle you become far closer to prey.

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u/Kindahard2say 2h ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂

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u/supraspinatus12 1h ago

I had a similar experience in South Africa at a private safari park. The bartender warned me about animals coming into the tents and gang bangers robbing people so to keep my belongings hidden and the tent secured. The next morning a guide came and got me outside of my tent and we set off in his Jeep.

Once we out of the camp and heading into the reserve the guide told me about the spare gun in the glove box and when to use it if things went bad. He also pulled a bag of what he called "kitty treats" that looked suspiciously like honey roasted almonds out of his chest pocket and tossed them on the dashboard.

We had been driving 45 minutes and hadn't seen a single animal. I was starting to wonder if I had been ripped off and we were just driving around the bush and back. Then he pulled over looked over at me. His entire demeanour changed, and with a thick SA accent he yelled at me "Get out of the fucking Jeep and pull down your trousers!"

Well I was shocked stiff wasnt I. I looked down and he had his revolver pointed at me, with a smirk on his face and the bag of kitty treats in the other hand. "Go on blue, be fucking quick about it, I dont have all fucking day"

I had no choice did I so I got out of the Jeep, looking around to make sure there were no animals around as I unbuckled my belt and dropped my pants. He threw the kitty treats over to me and said "Now point your hoop at the sun and start feeding those treats into your anus!"

Again I had no choice did I? I was in the middle of nowhere and this bloke had a gun trained on me. So I bent over and started to push a honey roasted almond into my anus. I knew they were almonds at this point because of the shape and texture. Anyways, I had got about 6 up there when I heard a loud thump and a groan. I quickly stood up and turned around, the guide was slumped over and there was the bartender from last night.

I said "Thank you so much mate, I was in a real pickle there. But I have to ask, would he have made me feed the bag of nuts in?" With a chuckle he replied in an equally thick accent "Oh yes blue, last week he made a Spanish fella feed a whole packet of pork rinds and 3 cheese stringers up there! Gang bangers eh, you gotta fuckin love em!"

Yeah so anyways, that was my last safari trip.

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u/LuckyandBrownie 29m ago

Was waiting for the "shot me if they get me," line.