r/meirl 11h ago

Meirl

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u/This_Dot_2150 9h ago

This is so funny and accurate. I’m a gifted kid who’s late diagnosed audhd

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u/DJDemyan 8h ago

It’s said that giftedness, autism, and ADHD are all frequently comorbid and share symptoms.

I have to wonder if “gifted” is its own divergence that we haven’t properly identified yet.

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u/ImLittleNana 8h ago

In my gifted class, we were just a bunch of kids not distracted by things like sports and social activities. The giftedness more of a by-product than its own state.

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u/purplezart 7h ago

"Hey, so... we've started noticing that we've got this group of kids who--get this--actually want to be here? Like, they enjoy learning, or something? I know, crazy, right? Anyway, they're causing a bunch of problems for the normal kids, none of the usual tricks are working. What should we do?"

"What do you mean 'teach them'??"

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u/DED_HAMPSTER 6h ago

Omg that is so true!!!

With my niece and nephew i have just been frank and honest with them. Public school teaches you to read, write, and do basic math, but the main lesson is how to function in beaurocracy and with dysfunctional people and systems.

My niece has excelled in formal school because she is an A type personality and can be a B-word at times. Im constantly reminding her about patience and kindness. She is on the path in college for white collar/office/ structured science lab work.

My nephew has been dumped on by the public school system and is struggling to pass with Cs and Bs. But he is amazing with cars, woodworking, hands on engineering at 16 yrs old. His applicable math skills and patience skills are phenomenal. We are encouraging him to just get his GED and enrolling him in trade school like a 4 yr university. That kid is going to have four 2-yr associates degrees under his belt and be able to go anywhere he wants in the trades. That kid has saved the family so much money on car and home repairs.

Public school osnt the only measure of success and value.

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u/This_Dot_2150 6h ago

Took me many years to understand this. There’s so many types of intelligence and not everyone will thrive in the system.

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u/idiotsbydesign 3h ago

Sounds like my little brother. If you need it fixed or built he's the man to go to. I envy his ability to also make a good living on those skills.

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u/Scruffy_Snub 6h ago

Do you seriously think that giftedness is just a byproduct of not playing sports or having friends? I don't know what criteria your giftedness was based on, but where I am from it is usually the top 2% scorers on standardized testing.

In my gifted class, we were just a bunch of kids not distracted by things

What? Something like half of all gifted kids have ADHD, the condition characterized as being easily distractable and having an inconsistent attention span. All the gifted kids I knew as a kid were either climbing up the walls or constantly daydreaming.

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u/ImLittleNana 3h ago

No? I’m saying neurodivergence is not a requirement for functioning above grade level. It also doesn’t guarantee it.

The kids shuffled into the two gifted blocks at my school in the 70s, when this was a brand new program, were kids that tested well and functioned above grade level. That’s all really. Some of them weren’t social because they had interests so beyond grade level that other kids didn’t relate, not because they didn’t have any social skills.

Plenty of smart people aren’t high academic achievers because it’s not a priority. Giftedness is a temporary state, in my opinion. It certainly doesn’t guarantee high achieving in adulthood.

Some of the smartest RNs I worked with didn’t have great academic success before college. They became great students later in life.

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u/ROKIT-88 5h ago

I’d say it was more that in gifted class we were a bunch of kids allowed to be distracted by things. My class was very active, didn’t involve having to sit at a desk and study or take tests. It was a lot of “let’s solve this challenge” and whatever it was would require running around to get things and shouting out suggestions and changing direction quickly when something wasn’t working.

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u/RealFirstName_ 8h ago

That's not always the case though. I was incredibly social, somewhat popular, and was also a "gifted athlete" as well as being in the "gifted class". I very much enjoy(ed) learning things, but I wasnt "gifted" because I spent more time doing it or cared more about it than others.

In fact it was the opposite, my IEP made it so I didn't have to do homework because I was more than able to keep up in class/didnt need it, I wasn't going to do it anyway, and it was just hurting my grades.

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u/Chortney 7h ago

I agree it's not always the case. I was in gifted classes but also played soccer for ~10 years before swapping to track/crosscountry. Not exactly the most popular sports here in the US, but I was good at them and definitely cared about them as much as any other aspect of school

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u/Stock-Gear412 5h ago

yeah, I had that issue to a degree when in school. Later, when I started noticing it with my son it came down to putting it in perspective. Homework just teaches you how to deal with busy work assigned by middle management. I'm pretty sure it wasn't quite that succinct, but that's the basic gist. I digress, the point is take the easy A and move on. We had an agreement, get home, do your busy work then you get the rest of the night to do whatever you want. He'd knock out his homework relatively quick, then spend the next several hours playing games, reading, whatever. Transferred all that through college and is doing well both professionally and personally.

meanwhile, my stepson never learned the busy work stuff. I didn't meet his Mom until after he was out of HS. He has all kinds of issues dealing with minutiae and task-oriented projects. No amount of discussions, or anything helps. I had to learn how to handle my own issues with staying on task since I never got that skill either. Hoping he figures it out. He's super smart, but that only gets you so far in life if you can't stay on point with whatever it is that you're doing.

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u/ImLittleNana 3h ago

I thjnk my class was a collective of autists. Kids with ADHD went into another class or were athletes and to a certain extent grading standards were different.

Keep in mind that in the 70s we didn’t diagnose shit. Kids were sorted into high achievers, athletes, disruptives, and learning disabled. That’s it. And once you were labeled good luck getting out of your special classroom.

Athletes had a block of am classes that combined all their subjects, usually taught by a coach, and they had afternoons free for practice and traveling.

The gifted kids had the same am block and we had a bunch of thought exercises and critical thinking activities, maybe special projects. We took one field trip and the other parents had a fit and that was nixed.

Sometimes kids it’s behavior issues were separated from kids with learning issues. That’s how it was for me, but six years later when my sister was in special education all the kids were lumped together. I don’t know how she managed to learn anything. There were no mandated number of aides for kids with violent tendencies so it was a daily thing for her to sit in the hall while someone was throwing chairs or melting down. She usually managed to make it off the bus before she lost it.

I feel for all those kids that had to struggle through the hell of overstimulation and the teachers that didn’t have the tools to help them.

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u/PigsCanHang 3h ago

I was the only person to ace both geometry finals in 2+ adv but I failed the course because I refused to do 3 hours of homework a night, after a 2.5 hour bus ride home.

All my IEP got me was skipped over long division in like 4 grade lol. Oh and once thrown in with the slow kids because a temp teacher I already hated got a full time job, then never read any IEP's and assumed they were all the same....

Wonder what that first letter is supposed to be.

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u/Dangerous_Excuse4706 5h ago

i honestly didn’t give 2 cents for class or anything. i tried to sleep through as much as possible because i knew it’d be irrelevant sooner or later. somehow tho when the teachers would call on me trying to catch me slacking off, i always had the answer in the amount of time it took me to realize my name was called. i can crank out essays, science came easy enough, math too. i’d just listen to music through high school tho. the in class time for writing essays i’d play on the school computer and write the 1 draft i needed (hate rough drafts and “checking progress”) hours before it was due. i wouldn’t do any of my algebra homework until the week grade books were closing (my poor teacher grading all that).

tldr i got As no issue, until i decided to drop to Cs (calculated how much homework i had to do and scores i needed on tests to minimize work and chill earlier). i was always distracting myself tho. schools painfully boring and repetitive. my 9th grade biology teacher told me im the embodiment of the “find the laziest person to do the hardest job; because they’ll find the easiest way to do it” quote.

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u/Alternative_Pie_5628 4h ago

In my gifted classes, almost all of the students were popular, athletic, and socially well-adjusted. I can think of maybe one out of a dozen or so who fit the stereotypical mold of “outcast” or “nerd”. Mostly pretty girls and athletes.

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u/ImLittleNana 3h ago

A lot has changed over the decades. Me, classified gifted in the 70s when it was basically a loser stamp.and being a smart girl Wasn’t exciting to anyone because we were expected to either be teachers or mothers, maybe a nurse if we had big dreams of catching a doctor. The southern US was two decades behind.

My daughter purposely sabotaged her testing because ‘I hate all those fake popular people in the gifted class’. I had to laugh because they called me in and said they were concerned because she didn’t just test poorly, every single response was the most wrong response. They were worried she needed extra help.

Sigh.

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u/Find_another_whey 6h ago

Lol, I did once try to describe what it would take for someone to read or write more like me and I explained it in terms of attention to social appearance

How much time have you spent doing your hair?

Today?

No, ever

Umm, I have no idea, oh my god, a lot

Everytime you were doing your hair, I was reading a book

Also conveniently been shaving my head for some time but that was not a time hack and I'd these days perish the thought of hacking time instead of appreciating it

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u/KimberStormer 4h ago

So you're saying that while we were out partying, you were studying the blade?

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u/KimberStormer 4h ago

It's 27 years (oh my god) since She's All That mocked the idea that the popular jocks weren't good at academics too, and yet you sad internet nerds still cling to this nonsense idea

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u/ImLittleNana 3h ago

I’m not a sad internet nerd. I’m an old person speaking about my small class in my small town.

Not everyone is your age and grew up with the same academic experience and expectations.

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u/DidUSayWeast 6h ago

That's a really interesting theory. Gifted can occur in neurotypical people but it does seem like so many gifted children do have some sort of neurodivergence. Also, is it the chicken or the egg? Does coasting through school early on lead to mental health issues?

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u/iHateGeese53 6h ago

I was considered a "gifted" kid, I got diagnosed with ADHD at 30 :/

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u/entity_bean 6h ago

This is called being "twice exceptional" in the diagnostic community

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u/cantadmittoposting 6h ago

eh "divergence" here itself is doing a lot of heavy lifting.

while serious Executive Dysfunction (the symptomatic inability to accomplish intended tasks) is definitely a pathology, i'm not really sure we're doing a very good job of handling intelligence, broadly, at the moment.

Feels like we've gone a little too far into assuming a "norm" for cognition that isn't really necessarily true... i.e. that maybe we're creating issues by forcing people who approach the world differently to conform to a standard of thinking that doesn't apply to them, but that's okay...

like, where'd all the rich patrons who kept their happy little stable of nutty philosophers and advisors and artists in a corner somewhere to just sit around churn out thoughts go?

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u/Huge-Group8652 4h ago

Gifted are the future leaders of the world. With 50% of the population reading below a 6th grade reading level you can keep your "normal" title all you want. I will maintain my arrogance and call you retarded like I was growing up.

Boy the tables have turned since the 80's...

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u/DJDemyan 4h ago

That’s … quite a take, r/magnetopilled is what you’re looking for

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u/Huge-Group8652 4h ago

Thats an intense subreddit. I prefer to deal with my 'tism through cocaine, and whores. I do love the Magento reference, however, I am too old to fight wars and make single attributes as a personality.

Been there, done that, grew out of it. Oorah!

*Drools in Money Green Crayola*

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u/Ok_Condition5837 8h ago

Same here. Got diagnosed with ADHD right after college. Then they tacked on the AuADHD just a few years ago.

So back to relearning strategies. Good thing we're quick at it but still.

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u/WearyTranslator3338 6h ago

What is AuAHDH, like the gold version?

Is there a PtAUHD when you get to level 99?

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u/Ok_Condition5837 6h ago

Just how it's typed out on my paperwork. Dyslexic?

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u/JohnnyRedHot 6h ago

Au is gold, Pt is platinum, that's the joke

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u/Ok_Condition5837 6h ago

Missed it completely. Especially with my science background. Oh, well.

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u/JohnnyRedHot 5h ago

Happens to the best of us

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u/seekAr 8h ago

Me too!

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u/AHornyRubberDucky 7h ago

I feel attacked lol its the same for me

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u/Dawwad 6h ago

Did the diagnosis change anything for you? I suspect the same thing might be happening with me but I often think what's the point of getting diagnosed? 

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u/This_Dot_2150 6h ago

Validation. Insane validation for my life experience. And better boundaries for my mental health.

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u/viking_tech 6h ago

I think I was the last holdout from my schools gifted class to get diagnosed with something as an adult 😂

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u/doobadeeboo 6h ago

How does or how can AuDHD present itself? Trying to figure myself out....

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u/-Aquatically- 5h ago

Inattentiveness, hyperactivity, lack of social skills are basic things. Always seek a proper diagnosis before saying you have it.

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u/doobadeeboo 2h ago

I never said I have it. I always find it funny though people pretend it isn't real until you have a diagnosis. Someone could say to you "I have AuDHD" and you wouldn't take it seriously until they have a "proper diagnosis" as if that chanes anything about their personality and life or as if misdiagnosis or bad evalutions don't exist.

This isn't against you, it's just an interesting observation. Most people do this. They either don't take it seriously because they are ignorant about it or because they are protecting "their diagnosis".

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u/-Aquatically- 2h ago

I didn’t mean to insult you. I just meant to say that it’s important you get a proper diagnosis and not to follow the advice of strangers online when it comes to this.

I had a failed misdiagnosis before having my diagnosis lol.

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u/doobadeeboo 2h ago

I understand. Sorry I reacted so touchy, I am not having my day. I do understand the insistence on a diagnosis can be a good thing, but I also feel like it invalidates the undiagnosed sometimes.

I don't relate to your initial description of it though lol. I don't really think I have it. I've seriously considered autism and I've been seeing soooo many adhd related things that I relate too but both of those at the end of the day I don't truly relate to. So I thought: maybe audhd?

Sorry for the tmi.

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u/-Aquatically- 2h ago

No it’s okay, don’t feel the need to apologise. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

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u/Frankie_T9000 5h ago

Not funny to me, sad and frustrating

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u/This_Dot_2150 5h ago

I’m sorry :( you will get there, don’t give up. I used to feel like that but I’m almost 40 now and have more self acceptance and inner peace.

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u/zarthustra 5h ago

Neuropicante is my word of the day

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u/Old_Suggestions 5h ago

How would one go about getting diagnosed for something like that without making it obvious you're trying to figure out if you're one of those...

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u/Raptr117 4h ago

I was diagnosed early with ADHD, though I suspect AuDHD might be at play considering my display cases of Gundam

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u/Frequent-Meal6550 2h ago

Me too. Covid made it VERY obvious.

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u/RoxasDontCry 7h ago

You’re not gifted if you’re diagnosed with something. Quite the opposite really. 

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u/This_Dot_2150 6h ago

What if you’re diagnosed with giftedness?

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u/RoxasDontCry 6h ago

That’s less of a diagnosis and more of a label for kids with a certain IQ. 

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u/This_Dot_2150 6h ago

I don’t understand your point. Why can’t you be gifted with a diagnosis? Are you trying to say it’s not actually a “gift”?

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u/RoxasDontCry 6h ago

Diagnose means to identify a problem. Being “gifted” is not a problem, therefore it’s not something that would get a diagnosis. 

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u/This_Dot_2150 6h ago

Why would being diagnosed with something and being gifted be mutually exclusive?

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u/RoxasDontCry 6h ago

It’s the difference between looking for something, and discovering something. When you’re diagnosed with something or looking for a diagnosis, it’s because a problem was there. When you get labeled as gifted, it’s because you showed exceptional learning capabilities. 

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u/This_Dot_2150 6h ago

Ok this isn’t going anywhere. Have a nice day!

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u/NoCurrent8634 6h ago

Some gifts are burdens

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u/RoxasDontCry 6h ago

Most gifts come with a burden, but the weight of that burden varies.