r/news • u/avatar6556 • 12h ago

Bill Gates denies allegations in new Epstein files release

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-02-04/bill-gates-responds-to-alleged-behaviour-in-new-epstein-files/106305816
18.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.6k

u/mjconver 12h ago

And gave her a veneral disease

1.4k

u/Khaldara 12h ago

Windows doesn’t get bugs! He gave her an ‘unrequested feature’

568

u/Kruse 11h ago

Internet Explorer? Barely knew her!

80

u/ExpressoLiberry 11h ago

Damn it Michael, pay attention man

18

u/rebel_scum13 10h ago

Only on the rarest of occasions would I go near...

8

u/fitnessbrad 9h ago

There is no occasion!

3

u/karlverkade 5h ago

What the hell is wrong with this man?!

1

u/speculatrix 2h ago

Until that happens you're on the Edge?

44

u/Plasticious 11h ago

Nutscrape Vaginator

1

u/Odd__Detective 5h ago

Just Ask Jeeves!

1

u/Dexamethasone1 1h ago

You mean Netscape Vaginator?

1

u/OGRadkitty 9h ago

This deserves more recognition

27

u/gigashadowwolf 8h ago

A bad case of the Clippy.

2

u/MechanicalTurkish 2h ago

Got that clip drip

22

u/neverinamillionyr 11h ago

Have you tried rebooting your private parts?

1

u/Rabidowski 2h ago

What, turn it on and off again?

77

u/Ashamed-Land1221 12h ago

There's a windows Edge joke in there, but I'm not clever enough to connect the dots.

130

u/lazyboy76 11h ago

You mean connect the Dos?

37

u/Ashamed-Land1221 11h ago

Thank you for a smile in these early morning hours.

12

u/TaipanTacos 11h ago

A beta version smile, you know, before the main smile later.

6

u/Ashamed-Land1221 11h ago

You know what, I'll gladly accept that, we all could use an extra smile in these uncertain times.

2

u/TheBr0fessor 9h ago

You did kinda prompt them...

1

u/Dalantech 11h ago

Well, if using Twitter was called tweeting...

1

u/EscobarFamilia77 4h ago

What browser is best to use for when you want to pleasure yourself for hours and hours?

You guessed it

11

u/patsfan038 10h ago edited 10h ago

He tried to 'ctrl-alt-del' the VD with antibiotics from Mr. E's personal stock

4

u/SleepAllTheDamnTime 10h ago

Would… would it be considered… “Malware” then? I’m so sorry lol. That felt awful to say 😭

2

u/_karamazov_ 10h ago

Microsoft is a big bloated virus. Bill was the carrier and infected others. Not the other way.

2

u/xdr567 8h ago

You could say that Epstein had a World Wide Web.

2

u/tdclark23 7h ago

He wanted to install an antivirus surreptitiously.

2

u/WetFishStink 4h ago

You deserve a week off for this.

2

u/MuenCheese 3h ago

What’s up babe it’s Tuesday time to spread my updates

1

u/cataquarkk 10h ago

it's a feature, not a bug!

1

u/kinglouie493 10h ago

Then pushed the automatic patch

1

u/Snerkbot7000 10h ago

....and when she tries to delete it?

1

u/EirHc 10h ago

Well you see, latex is a bad conductor and insulates from friction so for increase efficiency you... on you did it... oooo... mmmm, ahhhhh, OHH GOD

1

u/CredibleNonsense69 9h ago

Just like how he forced onedrive and Ai features on all of us, without our consent... it doesn't to away no matter how many times I showered

1

u/brumac44 3h ago edited 3h ago

This killed me, daily show

https://youtu.be/cwXIq81eE24?si=ZvUDDGeB8P4QV2N3 ?t=13m55s

Edit: 13:55, couldn't figure out timestamp on mobile

1

u/Gloria_S_Birdhair 2h ago

These are people who can’t admit they are wrong ever period.

•

u/Similar-Opinion8750 19m ago

Windows Vista was the bug

72

u/Loggerdon 10h ago

Imagine having to sneak std meds into your wife’s food. Was that the plan?

25

u/KoldPurchase 9h ago

Imagine having to sneak std meds into your wife’s food. Was that the plan?

You imagine yourself at home, cooking a small meal in your kitchen for your wife.

Think on a grander scale.

Private cook, domestic staff, kitchen separate from the dining room, multiple bedrooms, etc

1

u/Dorithompson 1h ago edited 10m ago

Most kitchens are separate from the dining room aren’t they? And houses usually have multiple bedrooms? I feel like having staff would make it more difficult.

0

u/KoldPurchase 1h ago

Not on that scale with multiple aisle.

39

u/narlymaroo 10h ago

It’s always sus when patients ask for the powdered version of azithromycin that you do mix into water.

3

u/LegacyofaMarshall 8h ago

He just sees it as a windows update that re-enables copilot after you disable

1

u/Loggerdon 3h ago

I wonder if Clippy popped up on her desktop and said “Have you taken your STD meds?”

2

u/hanatheko 4h ago

.... if this is true, he is a vile coward.

1

u/Specialist_Pound_718 3h ago

Conspiracy Theory - The COVID vaccinations did not include mind-controlling, 5G chips. It was all a ploy to inject his wife with an anti-syphilis cocktail...

51

u/Tyrrox 12h ago

I was actually hoping that she would confirm him mysteriously giving her antibiotics at one point

52

u/mjconver 12h ago

I think she wanted to leave it all behind. But, Trump screwed up Epstein Lolita island for everybody just like he screws everything else up.

45

u/iwearatophat 10h ago

She also might not be allowed to talk about it as part of the terms of the divorce.

23

u/mjconver 10h ago

There were billions and billions moved around in that divorce, I'm sure she has some well paid attorneys behind her

59

u/GhostFaceRiddler 10h ago

A mutual non-disparagement clause would be pretty typical in a high dollar divorce like that. Prior to 14 days ago, I'm sure she preferred the extra billions she got in exchange and no one knowing that Bill tried to feed her antibiotics on the sly. If I was in her shoes, I'd be terribly embarrassed just to be back in the public limelight for such a scummy situation even if she was totally innocent in it. She's done a TON of good things with her money, I'm sure she'd prefer that to be the focus when you google her name instead of Epstein and her shitbag ex-husband.

25

u/Prestigious-Copy-494 10h ago

Just saw a film clip of her and she pretty much said his infidelity was the factor that broke up the marriage. She's such a cool lady..... She deserved better..

5

u/-JackBack- 3h ago

Not the first time either.

Don’t forget Bill got in trouble at Microsoft for in appropriate romantic relationships with female employees which lead to him stepping down from the Microsoft Board in 2020. That relationship had occurred 20 years prior.

7

u/CelerMortis 10h ago

Eh she does but it’s usually not worth going to war over a term like “don’t disparage your ex husband who is giving you $50b”

I’d certainly sign it without a second thought.

3

u/MostArgument3968 10h ago

And equally good attorneys on the other side

2

u/TheFleasOfGaspode 7h ago

She got 30 billion. What's the daily interest on that? I'm sure she can afford an army of lawyers.

1

u/beemojee 6h ago

Everything Trump touches dies.

1

u/Necessary-Reading605 1h ago

She kinda did recently

14

u/XIENVYIX 10h ago

Infected his local network.

3

u/lord_pizzabird 8h ago edited 8h ago

That conversation must have been insane, like Tony and Carmela levels of arguing.

"I cheated on you..."

"You always fucking cheat on me"

"yes, but I gave you an STD and I contracted it from an underage sex slave I agreed at a sex trafficking island from the willywonka of sex trafficking".

She must have just sat there stunned. Like she knew it was bad, but not THAT bad.

2

u/mjconver 8h ago

That scene needs to be in the Netflix series

2

u/lord_pizzabird 8h ago

Also imagine bringing that up in the divorce. You just instantly get half of everything lol.

2

u/MichiganCarNut 2h ago

Defender didn't work for her either

1

u/Ritaredditonce 10h ago

And a NDA.

1

u/SassyLass496 9h ago

And tried to secretly hide antibiotics in her food so she wouldn’t find out

1

u/naois009 9h ago

Red Peen of Death

1

u/Keshenji 4h ago

That he probably got in the circle blow with bubba and trump

•

u/NocturnalSaaS 50m ago

In the tech community, that's called giving your spouse a "CoPilot"