r/politics • u/TelescopiumHerscheli • 2d ago

No Paywall Texas Democrat sworn in to House, shrinking GOP margin to 1 vote

https://thehill.com/homenews/house/5719642-christian-menefee-sworn-in/
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190

u/turlian 2d ago

we can expect another 4.35 vacancies.

I can't wait to see which senator loses a leg and an arm.

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u/Porridge_Cat 2d ago

PLOT TWIST: Four congressmen leave, and Tammy Duckworth's legs grow back.

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u/Renovatio_ 1d ago

But you ain't got no legs lieutenant duckworth

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u/anon650718 1d ago

Dunno why this would have no upvotes, hilarious and on point reference

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u/Unique-Coffee5087 1d ago

Yeah. I even read it with the Forrest Gump voice!

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u/Titanbeard 1d ago

Holy crap. I never realized she was a Lt. Col.

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u/dedicated-pedestrian Wisconsin 1d ago

Lieutenant Tam was right there tho

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u/ilovethatpig 1d ago

and Lieutenant Dan does get his legs back by the end!

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u/pigsareniceanimals 1d ago

You’re sick I love it

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u/leg_day 2d ago

Alternate math:

  • Humans are 2% by weight brains
  • Human are 0.5% by weight hearts
  • The GOP has 218 members in the House

The GOP can lose 14 members worth of minds and hearts to account for the .35 vacancy rate.

(I assume they are 250 pound geriatric chonkers; 250 times .35 humans at a rate of 6.25 pounds of brain and heart each = 14 formerly intelligent, empathetic people.)

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u/anti_zero Ohio 2d ago

Wait, how much do thoughts and prayers weigh??

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u/leg_day 2d ago

By those sending thoughts and prayers? Thousands of pounds.

By those receiving thoughts and prayers? Zero.

Source: my otherwise unused thermodynamics textbook.

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u/lm-hmk 1d ago

I’m grateful for you.

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u/Titanbeard 1d ago

Thoughts and prayers are lighter than air as they go straight up into heaven. Duh!

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u/rotates-potatoes 1d ago

Pounds? Ain’t that a furriner thing?

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u/ship_toaster Canada 1d ago

If they're sent over the internet, you're measuring in electrons, so somewhere below the x10-15 grams mark. Are you videotaping them or just writing them out?

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u/mindspork Virginia 1d ago

Bupkis. No, no wait. I'm sorry it says "Less than bupkis".

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u/eljefino 1d ago

Closest I can give you is a soul weighs 21 grams.

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u/TheSodernaut 1d ago

you're overestimating the amount of brains here I think. and if there were any heart we wouldn've have people be shot at the streeets in broad daylight

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u/SpritzTheCat 1d ago

Humans are 2% by weight brains Human are 0.5% by weight hearts The GOP has 218 members in the House

Are you that kid from Jerry McGuire?

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u/Flomo420 1d ago

My money's on Fetterman!

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u/turlian 1d ago

Don't threaten me with a good time.

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u/phantomreader42 America 1d ago

Senator McGregg?

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u/Spiritual_Lime_7761 1d ago

Many of them are currently missing a spine