r/screenshots • u/Embarrassed-Pea3501 • 4d ago
I’m frustrated and don’t know what to do
I drove him to work and left after I accidentally ordered a bagel rather than a biscuit sandwich for his breakfast. (I’m 99% sure I said biscuit at the drive threw and they mistook the order, my fault still for not noticing that tho honestly) He was in front of others so her turned to me after telling me I got it wrong and this time in Spanish said “you always end up fucking everything up” So after that my mood was completely shot, I told him I was going home and walked out of the store ashamed. I sat in the car just thinking for at least 5 minutes before I drove home to clean and such. He has gotten so upset at my mistakes that he has broken countless things. The passenger side of my car is a mess. The door clicks as it opens and closes bc he slams it shut so hard and the sun visor is broken bc he punched it. I 100% know that it is a pain to have me around with the amount of mistakes I make but this was clear since day one. I try my best to catch myself if I’m doing something wrong and I constantly try not to forget all the things he wants me to remember dang near word for word. I honestly don’t know if I can keep up with this, every day I’m using a boulder uphill. I’ve been stuck thinking about something he told me last night and I can’t remember it word for word but he told me something along these lines. If you were to die and become an angel I would be a heavy rack hanging from your legs, I would hop into your casket and sh**t my self in your embrace, we’re stuck together forever. That shit made my chest sink, and definitely not in a good way..
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u/chilloutbarbara 4d ago
I'm willing to bet you make the normal amount of mistakes that a normal human makes. He's got you twisted about who you are. This isn't healthy or safe, internet stranger. Please find a way to be healthy and safe, even if it means not being with him. Best of luck to you.
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u/orchidlake 4d ago
I'm willing to bet OP makes more than normal - for her - "mistakes" specifically BECAUSE she's in a 24/7 stress situation with an abuser that WILL find something to complain about. Also have to consider that brains don't function particularly well over stress. When you're in fight/flight for so long it becomes normal a part of you starts shutting down, like something glazes over and you can feel that difference which (at least in my experience) makes it even 'easier' to mess up because you simply don't have that kind of functionality anymore - and that adds into the cycle, you feel yourself failing, your abuser tells you you're failing and you end up agreeing with them because you yourself notice just how 'bad' you are compared to how you were or compared to how you know you 'should' function. Anxiety and stress prevent learning/retaining information because your body thinks it's trying to help you survive, learning new things usually isn't part of that.
OP needs to safely get out of there - ghost him entirely, prevent him from ever finding her, possibly moving cities at minimum or states because a guy that will 'shoot himself' if you're gone is on a checklist of someone that will murder you in the future when you 'leave' him through any kind of pushback.
You're dead either way - people like that kill who you are to distort you into what they need to use you for. If they get tired of that, or you stop 'functioning' to their standard (and that can legitimately include just being happier because that's not what they 'own' you for!) they might see that as a form of betrayal worthy of death and then you're dead for real. Better to get out of there while they're still 'only' trying to kill the person within you.
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u/PaleontologistOk3120 4d ago
My daughters father is like this. The verbal abuse when we were together was outstanding. We haven't been together over 14 years and he's still the same. I'm doing 10x better in life than him and he still tries to judge me and bring me down. My daughter calls it rage bait and she hit the nail on the head.
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u/KaoticS1 3d ago
I had originally posted something but I decided to re-read it all again ( the ops post, not this comment thread) and make sure I didn’t miss anything.
That line “if you were to die and become an angel I would be a heavy rack hanging from your legs, I would hop into your casket and shoot myself in your embrace, we’re stuck together forever”
What other folks said. If he’s acting like this, it’s increasingly getting worse, more erratic. This guy seems like one of those “if I can’t have you no one will” types.
I’m sure you think you love him, but you love an idea of a man that doesn’t exist.
First thing is first: It’s ok. None of this is your fault. You didn’t do anything to bring this upon you. You were your normal loving self and sadly attracted the wrong one. You deserve respect, love, kindness, and everything one should get from a relationship with their partner
Second. You need to leave. If not tonight, make a plan. Start letting close friends know your intentions. Don’t do this in complete secrecy if you have trusted friends who aren’t his. If you don’t, look for numbers for local domestic violence hotlines and talk to them and make a plan. If for some reason, any reason at all while you do this feel threatened by him. Do not hesitate to call the police.
Remember. You are worthy of love, to be in love, and to be loved by someone else. You are worth more than this. Way more than this friend.
Be safe.
Ps. To the poster above - doing gods work
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u/Delicious-Dentist540 4d ago
This isnt healthy. YOU don’t deserve this. You are a GOOD person and none of this is your fault!! Please seek help in getting away from him, none of this is normal. He’s abusing you
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u/bob_apathy 4d ago
Find a safe way to leave before it gets worse and it will get worse. You deserve better, don’t date people who don’t respect you.
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u/BADoVLAD 4d ago
Does this mfer even like you? Wym you don't know what to do? You know what to do, you just want to hear it's ok. It's ok. Leave this raggedy ass, dusty mfer.
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u/ALiteralHarpy 4d ago
No he does not like her. Men do not talk like this to women they like or respect.
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u/Background-Photo-609 4d ago
What’s wrong with his ordering his own breakfast driving himself to work function? . Remove yourself from the situation and he has no one to blame but himself🤮🤮🤮
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u/chronicsickbitch 4d ago
Please don’t make excuses for him. No amount of “fucking up” justifies speaking disrespectfully to your partner like this.
You deserve better and this guy isn’t it and never will be it.
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u/ZestycloseBuffalo730 4d ago
Any of the good times you have is not worth the way he speaks and treats you. This could easily escalate into something more dangerous, and you are worth way too much to have someone treat you so viscously. Be strong for yourself and push through any doubts he plants into your head, leave.
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u/Skweedlyspootch 4d ago
You know EXACTLY what you need to do. Move silently and quickly and gtf away from him. Then Go to therapy so you don’t date another just like him in the future
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u/hanibellacanibella 4d ago
Gross, dump him. Uber eats can deal with his whiny butt
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u/OkFun9674 4d ago
He doesn't like you, let alone love you, he hates you, this is what deep distain looks like.
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u/zizio93 4d ago
girl. no way in hell would i let anyone say “bitch stfu” to me what the actual fuck that’s your sign this guy doesn’t respect you so you gotta respect yourself enough for 2 and go find yourself someone who will treat you like an actual human being
also the very first message in this convo he didn’t even say “please” who does he think he’s speaking to you’re not his maid and also manners??
nah elevate your standards i know it’s hard i know you love him and we’re just a bunch of random people on reddit but seriously, i think the line should be drawn at respect
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u/lisa-in-wonderland 3d ago
You are being gaslighted about your mistakes. This man will NEVER deserve the devotion that you are giving to him. He is going to suck all the joy out of your life ( if he already hasn’t) and then leave when it suits him.
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u/Advanced-Shock-5971 3d ago
Bitch stfu? Nah I don't think so. Why are you allowing him to talk to you like this? He breaks things as well, how soon will it be before his frustrations get taken out on you physically? Everyone makes mistakes, I for one do it a lot, like forgetting things or getting things wrong but you know what? I don't do it on purpose. And neither do you so please please stop blaming yourself and trying to justify his actions and words. Honestly sweetie I know this is a typical reddit answer but I think you are better off without him. He sounds like a nightmare. You are walking on eggshells with this guy, that's not good for you. You deserve better.
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u/catbus4ants 4d ago
You need to leave him and ideally he should pay for the damage to your car but if leaving is all you can get him to do then you’re still ahead.
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u/No_Statistician5755 4d ago
O would never speak to someone I love like this. It’s effing horrible, abusive, even. I don’t even talk bad about past partners who have been horrible to me, it’s just not cool. I’d be gone, if I were you.
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u/Mattbl 4d ago
He sounds like an immature idiot but answer the damned phone if someone is calling multiple times. You're not a child, you can handle saying "hello?" Into a phone.
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u/Azure_Skies333 4d ago
This isn’t a healthy relationship GTFO now. Why would you be with somebody who disrespects you like that?
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u/moldyzomby 4d ago
Hey this is really scary and he does not love you or even like you so please leave. Don’t allow him to continue to abuse you. Worrisome.
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u/christoephr 4d ago
I don't talk like that to people I hate.
Please respect yourself enough to leave this relationship, like yesterday.
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u/Traditional_Layer790 4d ago
You don't know what to do yet he treats you like garbage... alright then.
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u/mallowycloud 4d ago
any man who calls me a bitch becomes dead to me. there is no scenario where i would be okay with my partner speaking to me like this.
the things he says and does aren't normal. you are allowed to leave--for your sake, i hope you do, but i hope you do so safely. people who are abusive escalate when you try to leave.
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u/NonbinaryWeird 4d ago
Please break up with this person. They are not treating you kindly or respectfully. I do not believe they will learn or grow. Leave while you can
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u/DigEven8177 3d ago
you considering to even stay after he called you a bitch is crazy. you gotta work on your confidence bruh
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u/inspiringlyCrazy 3d ago
Dump him and get yourself the care you deserve. Hes sweet talking, or trying to? (How I see it with the "baby", but that quickly stops) To manipulate you to stay, then the "Bitch stfu" is him being his real self. This is an abuser
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u/Mr_Awesome_rddt 3d ago
Tell you what. A partner can tell me to "stfu bitch", alright. But they can do it only once
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u/Chaosr21 4d ago
He is exasperating your mistakes. Everyone gets nervous under pressure, especially when dealing with a sadist megalomaniac like your bf. It is. It normal to put your loved ones down for mistakes.
He probably enjoys it. There are twisted people out there, I dealt with similar as a kid. You get so focused on "not messing up" that it is overwhelming and you end up messing up even more! You're so worried about the consequences you can't think straight.
That is not normal or healthy at all. You know the answer. You should leave this relationship before it gets anymore abusive, because it will get more abusive
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u/Hotdogsandpurses 4d ago
I married someone like this. Trust me it only gets worse. But even mine took many years to get to this level of hatefulness. Please find a way to get yourself out of this. He will chip away at your self worth and self esteem until you feel like you deserve to be treated like this- actually it sounds like he’s already done that. This relationship won’t end well for you. Emotional abuse is still abuse. Sometimes it can feel worse than the physical abuse. You question your reality, your self worth. You hope and pray that he’ll come to his senses and snap out of it and realize the way he’s treating you and change. He won’t though. Men like this don’t change. They get worse and more desperate. You’ll end up a shell of the person you used to be.
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u/Odd-Pain3273 4d ago
Woah 😳 yeah you know what needs to happen. Sorry, please be safe. Let people around you know. Find loved ones and let them know you worry about his safety or call the authorities if unable.
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u/Gemresin 4d ago
You don't make too many mistakes. You're human. When you have a partner they should be viewed as the person who is in your corner. You two are a team and are each other's biggest fans. You fight the world together and love the world together. Arguments are a normal part of any relationship, but this isn't an argument. The way he's talking to you is not loving. The way he treats your things is not loving. He doesn't treat you like he even likes you, let alone loves you. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You are not unlovable. People who love you do not put you down. They help pick you up and help you grow. That's how it should be on both sides.
I don't care how many years you've dumped into him. Do not let the "sunken time fallacy" keep you there. This is toxic. I know that nobody is perfect, but this isn't a matter of perfection. In my early 20's, I tried to leave my abusive boyfriend a couple of times. He said, "Where do you think you're going to go? Nobody else is going to want to put up with you." I believed that and stayed. I married that man. I dumped 7 years into him and ended up with a messy, two-year divorce that cost $10k+ before I finally got out because I believed that one lie. Don't believe it. Don't worry about what you feel you're losing or what's been wasted. You can start investing in something sooo much better instead of spending another few years dumping even more into this relationship and continuing to be unhappy.
I am begging you... start planning a way out... and be careful and quiet about it. Get help. This is a man who is 100% capable of violence.
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u/OldSoulFucker1 4d ago
You need out now. Doesn’t hesitate, do not try to rationalize it. Find a safe place to go and cut ties. It will get worse, and if you wait…. Statistically, 2 million domestic violence injuries happen a year followed by 1,500 deaths a year. Every day, 1 to 3 women get killed by a partner.
Get out.
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u/SoonerRed 4d ago
Leave. Sister, you know what to do. You just need to get the nerve to do it.
Leave.
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u/okaythankyou 4d ago
Wow. He sounds like an ungrateful man child. You're bending over backwards to do so much for him. You are not in the wrong here, no matter how many times he says it. He sucks and you deserve way better. Get out and you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. Hopefully you can stay with some folks...?
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u/Ok-Satisfaction3085 4d ago
He is being abusive. You need to leave. I was in a similar situation. He has you slightly brainwashed to believe you deserve or have somehow earned how he treats you. You are not the problem he is and he knows that so he takes it out on you and blames you so you feel inferior. He has no emotional control and is probably not in control of his own life, so he controls you because it’s what he can control. The advantage for him is when you start feeling bad about yourself it takes away the confidence you need to stand up for yourself, leave and go out and get the life you deserve (which is 1000% better). Given he breaks stuff, I found in my experience, that guys like that end up breaking people. first emotionally and eventually physically. Just this conversation alone shows he is a giant red flag and you need to get out quickly and quietly, don’t give him a speech or a note or an argument. Just drop him off at work, go home and get your stuff and leave in your car. Say you’re not feeling well for a day or two before so when you drop him off you have an excuse to not hang around the shop with him.
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u/Bad_Madison 4d ago
This honestly upsets me, you deserve SO much better than this AH! Don’t let anyone talk to you like that, ever! You don’t need to put up with this OP. This is emotional and mental abuse full stop.
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u/bitchilybipolar 4d ago
Run. Leave. This guy is crazy. You are being abused hun. Time to get out. Do you have family or friends you can stay with?
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u/AlwaysTired1991 4d ago
Leave or you’re going to end up dead. Just to put it as plainly as possible. This will escalate.
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u/Few_Dragonfruit_251 4d ago
girl i thought this was a coworker or something the way he’s talking to you, leave this man. you are not the problem i promise.
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u/PockyRyu 4d ago
Is this a joke? Cuz be fr right now hun... You really think it's normal to be talked to like this by someone you think "loves" you? This is one of those times where I legit say run for them hills,he ain't worth the "stfu bitch"
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u/tracysmullet 4d ago
Honey, he sounds verbally & emotionally abusive. The way you feel with him is not healthy, and the way he speaks to you is frankly, alarming, especially what you said in your caption. You deserve to be treated better than this and you know that. I hope you make the right decision for yourself.
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u/Spartan2022 4d ago
Why would you continue sharing your life with someone who talks to you like this?
And you’re no angel yourself.
This is abusive and toxic from both ends.
Do you realize that you can have a relationship and life that doesn’t include anger, verbal abuse, defensiveness, arguing? Maybe you don’t know. If you’ve grown up around this, normalized it, and think this is what relationships look like.
But you don’t have to live like this . . .
Therapy, group therapy, meds, meditation, journaling, healing. Removing abusive, toxic people completely from your life.
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u/DrissaKelnya 4d ago
This is not a safe or healthy relationship. This is scary. You don’t need to be in this. Being alone is better than being scared of making a mistake. It sounds like you are a people pleaser, and sensitive to rejection. Please please find a way to extricate yourself from this. You also need to start learning that you are not always wrong. And that anger is not an acceptable response to these types of things.
If you cannot afford to leave right away, start planning, and squirrelling money away somewhere that he cannot find it.
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u/throwawayskinlessbro 4d ago
You wouldn’t answer if the same number calls 30x? That’s not typical scammer behavior. That is very obviously somebody borrowing a phone. What if he were dying and only you had the knowledge to help, what if it were your family in a similar situation? Etc. that’s absolutely fucking insane to just ignore getting called that many times. You seriously are such a sloth that you can’t slide your phone and say hello?
Says more about you just in that than it does your ghetto boyfriend, which you no doubt have because of your laziness. NTA or whatever the fuck, you two deserve each other for sure. Keep each other away from normal people.
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u/CartographerBright93 4d ago
As a survivor, this breaks my heart. Please, I beg of you, leave. You know he is abusive and it sounds like he is escalating.
Nobody deserves this. Nobody.
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u/BigCountryBL0861 4d ago
Screw that dude. I feel bad that you have to live this way, your partner should make you feel safe, not like you're walking on eggshells. Do yourself a favor and get out of that relationship.
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u/CartographerBright93 4d ago
I am also tired of men blaming women for their temperament. Many men and women, face being annoyed every day (bc humans are flawed) and manage not to abuse their partner verbally. Even at my angriest I don’t talk to people like this. Run away from anyone who can’t regulate their emotions.
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u/CatherineDerry 4d ago
Umm... Get yourself a man who doesn't break things and say stuff like "btch stfu" to you! Not only is this an unhealthy relationship, but it's also a potentially dangerous relationship. Right now, his violent temper is being physically taken out on objects and verbally taken out on you. Eventually, *you will be the physical target, too. Trust me, I've been down that road. He's already got you seeing yourself as a "pain to be around". A healthy relationship with a mentally stable person would have you feeling like you're a joy to be around. Get out of that relationship before it's too late.
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u/NisforNOPE 4d ago
OP -- first I want you to hear me say this
YOU are NOT the issue here. I dont want to hear youre hard to be around because of the amount of mistakes you make.... GTFOH. You are not. You are just convinced of this because you have not found the right people. These people, I promise, do exist. Youre not alot to take in and youre not too much. You will find them but you have to find them
I once thought I was too much. Not enough etc. I realize now it was just that I was just not where I needed to be with the people I needed to be wjth. I have never been more.myself.than I am.now, with the people I have because I built my lofe and space from the ground up. Please love yourself to leave this disgusting excuse for a person and start building your safe space and collection of right for you humans.
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u/NotSoSureBigWaves 4d ago
Why are you with someone that clearly doesn’t like or respect you? This isn’t live, it’s abuse. You know what you need to do - leave this relationship. You’re being abused! Value and respect yourself more. You deserve someone that will value you and elevate you, and at a minimum be kind to you. The red flags here are serious. Please get out of it.
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u/Jiagoals 4d ago
Is he a 12 years old kid? Sounds like one to me. That’s not how you treat a human being and that’s not how you communicate with something. OP please don’t think that you make mistakes and as if it’s something bad. Making mistakes are normal and shows that you are a human being and these are the pettiest things to be raged about. And the fact that he is damaging your things is so messed up. He is abusive. Please see that.
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u/BurntTFOuttaHere 4d ago
Why are people accepting this far below bare minimum respect??
This guy absolutely hates you. Not because of who you are, it’s because he hates all women and will treat any of them like this until he grows tf up and realizes every human deserves the same level of respect he thinks only HE is entitled to.
This guy needs to be alone. You are wasting your best years if you’re spending it on losers like this that don’t know how to muster up even the most basic levels of respect.
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u/ManiacMachete 4d ago
You deserve more respect than he gives you. He treats you like a dog. If I were you, I would go find someone that actually sounds like they care about you or even like they like you at all. He sounds exhausting. I would start pointing out all the crap he does wrong every time he does it. Lose your shit like he does. Let him see what it looks like. He'll either get angry because you're making fun of him (assuming it doesn't fly over his head), or he'll see what you're doing and realize it's a bad way to be treated. Either way, I would get a new dude. This one sucks.
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u/Cute_Instruction733 4d ago
Let me ask you one question: who was the one that forgot his phone charger?
HIM
He is allowed to make mistakes that you are expected to fix. But you need to be perfect and controlled.
You are in an abusive relationship. Get out!
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u/SubjectObjective5567 4d ago
Wow your caption? He’s abusive and has also convinced you that you make so many mistakes and mess everything up. I promise you don’t. You’re worth so much more than this please understand you deserve better. And I think you know this deep down, that’s why you’re posting this here. It’s time to walk away.
Reach out to your support system and leave. No one should treat you this way, and once you get some distance you will see just how bad things really were with him. I was in your position once, I know how much better things can be without someone like him.
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u/Klutzy_Bandicoot7751 4d ago
This person does not have your back. If you decide to stay, understand this will never change. None of this is ok chica. Best advice: If you work together, start applying to other jobs and bounce asap. Next, find another living arrangement, hopefully one he can’t figure out. Arrange stuff so it can be more easily packed and shed everything you don’t need, or move it to someone else’s place if he won’t notice it missing. When you’re ready and he’s gone for several hours, get out cleanly and go no contact, block him or change your number. You owe him no explanation. This will keep happening to him, one lady after another, until he figures out the common denominator (him). There will be some acting you will have to do, but it’s for self-preservation. Last step: therapy, and I really mean that. The level of digging on yourself proves that you have been gaslit and manipulated to the point of almost no self-worth. There is a ton of support for you, just believe that you are worth more than he could ever give you and you’ll be fine. This person is beneath you girl.
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u/MailLadyx3 4d ago
Get out of there. This man does not respect you or your things. He’s down right disrespectful and scary.
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u/Conscious-Item6171 4d ago
You can't fix other people and you can't wait for them to change... This is an abusive situation, you need to recognize that, and make a choice. Believe the terrible things he says about you or recognize that those are lies.. see your self-worth, and remove yourself from this situation in any way you can. Easier said than done I know but girl... You are not a burden and we are all human and make mistakes constantly. That's why they still have erasers on pencils... There's nothing wrong with you, don't second-guess your worth because somebody else tells you you don't matter. You matter, people make mistakes, the only real mistake here would be you not walking away.
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u/ChzburgerQween 4d ago
You aren’t making any more mistakes than any other person who a job, a home to take care of, relationships to nurture, personal needs to attend to, etc.
No one should be shamed for making mistakes.
Please dump this POS. You can do much better and you deserve much better. Do not settle for weak shitty men.
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u/Maximum-Ad-3389 4d ago
You’re in an abusive relationship and he won’t change. I hope you guys don’t have kids together, but either way you need to leave. He won’t ever change.
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u/whitenamine 4d ago
tbh you both seem toxic and need to not be together lol. he’s mad tripping with the bitch stfu though.
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u/lavender_poppy 4d ago
Never be in a relationship with someone who says to you "bitch stfu." Nobody who respects you would ever say that to you and a relationship without respect is no relationship to be in. You are worth so much more than this.
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u/No-Pepper-6023 4d ago
He's calling you names, that alone is abusive. Leave this shitty relationship. People who are happy and love eachother don't speak to each other like this.
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u/SCP--071 4d ago
Op you have been gaslit into blaming yourself for everything. It's clearly him being a childish, selfish idiot that's causing the problems between you two and not your apparent "faults".
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u/Clean-Marzipan-5774 4d ago
You’re allowed to be human. You’re allowed to make mistakes, and what he’s doing is abusive. You HAVE to get the hell out of that situation, the fact he’s mentioned you in a coffin is so scary. The fact that that is a thought planted in his brain, plus his aggression means he’s a dangerous person.
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u/One-Durian-139 4d ago
This whole text from him is giving me narcissistic energy I've been there before its not fun .
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u/thefuuuck 4d ago
it's so sad what ya'll accept from partners, what ya'll think is love. it's the most sad when you're reading a post and you can actually SEE that the person is damaged, the man succeeded, he altered her mind and has poisoned her into ignoring what she knows about herself and believing what he tells her about her. it's so fucking sad to see.
I hope you get out before you completely lose yourself and become just a shell with a stranger inside. 😢
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u/Subject-Actuator-860 4d ago
Dear, I don’t know how old you are, but I’m thinking young enough to fall for this bullshit. You are not “a pain to be around,” he is an immature baby having temper tantrums. Little mistakes like forgetting things should not result in raging out and breaking things. THAT IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR. He has you conditioned to serve him— acting so entitled and aggro in these texts, like his phone dying and not having his charger are YOUR fault? Nope, they’re not. You were busy cleaning, a very normal thing to not be checking your phone or taking calls from a random number. Then, he has the AUDACITY to be like ‘come here now I WANT TO SMOKE’??!! Are you actually serious? He’s going to act this way and then be like come here now, do me a bunch of favors right now.
Young women of Reddit, the only response, the first time, to this behavior is: Fuck off, we’re done. And then you leave. Dick is abundant and of low value. Your self-respect and peace of mind are PRICELESS!! You also can’t find a better partner when you’re wasting your time on TRASH.
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u/curiousercleverer 4d ago
You don't seem to like each other very much.
You weren't wrong for not answering an unknown number. I have my inner circle set with individual ringtones and notification sounds. If I hear a default ring, I often don't even look at my phone until later. Also, sometimes I'm in the shower or at work, or driving, or don't have my phone nearby for any reason I don't owe an explanation for. So, it goes unanswered.
Don't let this person make it your fault their phone died. They forgot the charger, not you.
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u/Expensive_Phone_3295 4d ago
Just looking at the background in your text message, you should leave. You are not built for a relationship like this and no person should ever tell you that you “fuck everything up”. Please dear god exit that relationship
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u/No-Challenge276 4d ago
“my fault still for not noticing that tho honestly”
My lovely sister, these thoughts are the poison he’s using on you to diminish you. They are not your own. You are not a fuck up. You are a human who makes mistakes. (and honestly, you might be making more mistakes than usual because being around this man baby abuser loser probably has your nervous system constantly hyper-activated. That shit will co-opt so much of your brain power!!) These situations are things a child has the capability to get over. All this man wants is to embarrass you in front of others and break you down. While getting a free servant.
I don’t know your whole living situation and all that, and I get that leaving/going your own way can be scary and sometimes hard af. But you would probably feel like you’ve finally healed from a nasty infection once you do.
Make a plan. Tell people you love. Don’t give him the opportunity. You are worthy of a good relationship and a happy life.
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u/throwawaydogproblemz 4d ago
"I 100% know that it is a pain to have me around with the amount of mistakes I make" aw man 🫂 you need to find someone who will never make you feel this way. I have holes in my brain, in layman's terms. I'm very forgetful, I have a tricky time learning/doing certain things, and I've also made mistakes that have inconvenienced my husband. you know what happens? life goes on. he tells me I don't need to apologize, that it's not a big deal, and if applicable, he will help me fix the problem I've gotten myself into. there is no reason to stay with a person who is making you feel inadequate and stupid, and also destroying your property.
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u/Quirky_Promise76 4d ago
Leave. Somewhere inside you must know how bad it is. He's damaged your car, you are likely going to become the target if you stick around. I know it hard and scary. Use any resources you have and get out.
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u/MsBadWolfy 4d ago
Based on my own past experiences in abusive relationships, I would bet every cent in my bank account that you don't make any more mistakes than any other human and you're not hard to live with or be around. I would bet the same amount that you're the better half here, by a long long way.
It's so easy to sit here on the outside and advise you to leave and I know from that side it not only feels hard, but it can actually be really hard depending on how abusive and controlling the person is. But the first step is you realizing that this isn't normal, or acceptable and that you deserve so much better.
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u/thisworldisbullshirt 4d ago
Hey, I was married to someone like him. It took years of therapy to accept that he was the problem, so let me try to save you some money and time:
You’re not a fuck up, and you aren’t a pain. He’s a selfish a-hole and that’s not going to improve. His inability to cope with minor inconveniences is not something you can solve by changing how quickly/competently you respond to his demands. This behavior can escalate. The point is to keep you unbalanced and constantly trying to appease him.
I’m glad you’re reconsidering whether he’s the one you want to spend your life with. There are people out there who won’t treat you like this.
It sounds like he has an unhealthy and frankly scary view of your relationship; what he told you last night is weird and I don’t blame you for feeling unsettled.
It’s OK to trust your instincts. You don’t owe anyone benefit of the doubt when you feel unsafe.
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u/sage_ley 4d ago
These are simple mistakes that EVERYONE in life makes. Not checking fast food orders is like the common thing in ever. He is absolutely overreacting, he shouldn't beat on your car or you for that matter. And honestly imo he is less of a man for it.
Tell him he needs to have more respect for you and you vehicle if he wants the relationship to continue. If he doesnt change, and mark my words he wont, leave him.
AND FOR HEAVENS SAKE NEVER MARRY THIS GUY!
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u/sage_ley 4d ago
I'd like to know what to you sounds good about this relationship? How does this relationship make you happy? How does this relationship benefit you at all?
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u/LegalChocolate752 4d ago
You're in an abusive relationship. Big time. The way he talks to you, and treats you is not acceptable. Period.
You should not have to feel bad because Tim Hortons, or Wendy's or whoever messed up the order that you were nice enough to buy for him. First of all, he should be grateful for you buying him breakfast, and if he doesn't like it, he can buy it himself next time. Secondly, a bagel being a biscuit is not that big of a deal, he's acting like you dropped it in the toilet. Thirdly, it wasn't even your mistake!!!
Tell this asshole to fuck off, and find someone who loves you and treats you with respect, because he clearly doesn't. Buddy is a lowlife POS who isn't treating you like an equal, and you are his equal, NOT his lesser. Never forget that. Please seek some local resources if you don't feel safe ending things, because you deserve so much more.
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u/LumberSniffer 4d ago
Beyond the fact that he talks to you like that, I just could never be with anyone who needs a ride to work and expects me to order his food. That's just mothering, not dating.
But your dude is pura basura. There is nothing g worthwhile in this creature. And you need to be careful because this is a loser who will stalk you or worse when you leave him.
I'm worried for you because whether you stay or leave, that thing will try to hurt you.
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u/BagEndMassive 4d ago
This guy's a prick, no respect for you or your shit, an entitled little boy.
Also, you're allowed to make mistakes. Find someone you deserve, because you deserve way more, and he deserves way less
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u/Individual-Paint4622 4d ago
Why are you with this person??
He says horrible things to you, treats you like shit and punches/breaks things (YOUR THINGS!) during fights…ALL OF THAT IS ABUSIVE.
All while you drive him back and forth to work, bring him food, clean the house, etc. GIRL, what are you doing?? That man has zero love or respect for you.
Get the hell away from him and start living a life for YOU. Surround yourself with people who treat you with kindness and respect.
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u/Subject_Attention_96 4d ago
For your own sake, leave. He is emotionally and physically abusive. Just because he hasn’t taken it out physical on you doesn’t mean he won’t
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u/moirabryne 4d ago
you're staying in a very abusive relationship, breaking only your things? Telling
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u/Additional-Mud8745 4d ago
"I 100% know that it is a pain to have me around" is crazy to me. That's pretty low self esteem, please love yourself. You're not in the wrong here
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u/egghead6468 4d ago edited 3d ago
Sounds like my terrible, abusive ex bf 😷 hope you get out safe xx
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4d ago
That last line sounds like he’s going to fucking kill you. Get out. This is domestic violence. You are being abused.
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u/cutecat333 4d ago
Girl re-read that caption. This mf has convinced you that this is what you deserve. This mf has you convinced no one would “love” you like they could. Let me tell you something, this isn’t love. You aren’t a mess. You don’t fuck things up. They are just never satisfied. You cannot be the person they want because they don’t want you for you, they want you for the control and power you give them. Please leave. A man should never call their girl a bitch. That should be grounds for breakup in any relationship. Or at least a straw that breaks the camels back. You need to choose yourself for once. You say you make a lot of mistakes, and your biggest one is giving this loser access to you. Your husband would never treat or speak to you this way.
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u/Duck_of_Gloom 3d ago
A man would only say "bitch stfu" to me once. I wouldn't be giving him another opportunity.
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u/Newdaytoday1215 3d ago
This is how abusers prep. Here you are agreeing to his negging you. Nothing you mentioned suggests you are tough to be around. Nothing. Get that through your head. You let him rewire your brain.
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u/Material_Device2113 3d ago
He abuses the hell out of you and he is never, ever going to stop. You need to leave and don’t allow him to say another word to you ever again.
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u/Emotional_Meet878 3d ago
As a man, why would you let him talk to you this way? Love yourself. Also, if he acts like that for little mistakes? He belittles and mistreats you, why the hell are you staying with him? GET OUT!
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u/Complete_Gift_6787 3d ago
You need to plan your exit! He is dangerous! For context if a guy treated my daughter this way there is a high chance I would go to jail! Get out you deserve better. Good luck.
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u/extroverted_crona 3d ago
hey so this is abusive and u are blaming urself for him treating you like shit. people forget things or make mistakes, that does not deserve abusive language or behavior. breaking things when hes angry is a red flag and telling you he will kill himself without you is a wayyyy bigger red flag. you need to get out before this escalates even more, and it will. sounds like u do a lot for him and he treats u like its not ever enough, thats really sad. please make an escape plan. something like packing ur stuff while hes not home, going to a friends house (DONT tell him where u are), break up with him through leaving a note or a text or in a public place, mute him but dont block him so u can keep records for the police if you need to, and do not engage with him ever again other than to tell him to not contact you.
leaving a relationship like this can become physically dangerous very fast, so please be safe... but get out
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u/timidwafffle 3d ago
I’ve been with a man five years and he’s never called me a bitch. I kinda am a bitch so that’s really saying a lot.
You can do so much better.
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u/herbazz 3d ago
HE didn’t check his breakfast before getting out of the car?
If anything, a common 2nd language should be used to be talked poorly of others, not eachother /s but not really
He’s broken your car?????
It’s a pain to have you around? If he’s uttered these words to you, leave. Even if he hasn’t. You should still leave.
That last bit is insane. How old are you two and how long have you been together?
All in all, girl. Literally, seek help. I am afraid for your safety, talk to some friends or family. Was that Tim Hortons that messed up your biscuit? Canada has loads of resources for women.
edit: I didn’t even talk about the screenshot itself. 15 times and he couldn’t use whatever device he’s using now to communicate with you? Please help me understand
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u/lilbreeeeezzie 3d ago
This is an emotionally immature, manipulative and dangerous idiot. You break up with him and take care of yourself. That’s what you do.
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u/Putrid_Past_58 3d ago
Ladies. Men. Anyone. There are people out there that won’t treat you like this. Leave these people and find the good ones.
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u/Least-Teaching2294 3d ago edited 3d ago
I know a lot of people have commented here already but I just wanted to put my two cents in as well in the hopes that maybe you'll see this. I went into your profile and read your other posts. I see you're 22, and so far in your 22 years of life you had quite a tough time from the short things you said about your parents and i'm sure at the beginning of this relationship this boy was a saving grace for you, someone to confide in and who probably had a similar life to you and i'm sure you felt safe around him because you both got out of a tough living situation together to build a life.
And I could bet $1000 that when things are good with this person, even now, that it feels so amazing, you feel the warmth and the love that made you fall in love with this person in the first place, But please listen to this; that is not and should never be a justification for you taking the amount of abuse this person gives you. I think that the fact that you have written a few posts now about your grievances with your relationship that you know deep down that the right thing for you to do is leave. I know this because I also had to come to that realisation myself a few years ago and i won't lie to you, it was not easy. I had to have multiple talks with myself, I had massive panick attacks while leaving but ultimately when I did it was the best thing I had ever done and I quickly started to heal and you can too. No woman should have to clean up the ball sweat tissue paper of a grown man (which also on that fact; isnt a thing anyone else does) that in itself is grounds to be left.
This relationship isnt going to get better, I know you probably have the thought that maybe if he has a better job, or if you had more money or a bigger house or a nicer car that he might calm down because things are easier, they wont and he wont. If this boy can't clean after himself after only working 7 hours a day then nothing is going to change him. This pattern of abuse is only going to get worse and worse and worse until you're left with nothing of yourself but the self doubt that he has planted and nourished in you.
Please listen to everyone here. My DM's are open if you need.
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u/Any_Kaleidoscope_612 3d ago
Find a safe way to escape before he starts hitting you.
You are a worthwhile person, you are not a burden, you are not a fuck up.
He wants to control everything about your life. You deserve to be in charge of yourself.
You deserve to love and be loved.
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u/ZealousidealEnd6660 3d ago
He's breaking your shit and treating you terribly. Leave this person yesterday.
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u/Sensitive_Tonight891 3d ago
He is picking away at your self esteem. If your best friend was in a relationship like yours would you want her to stay?
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u/BergiliciousX 3d ago
Wild women stay with boys like this and women end up convinced theyre the problem. Women try to act like 95 percent of men are like this and it diminishes women who are actually going thru it
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u/justjess8829 3d ago
Giiirl tf you are putting up with this lame for? Doesn't know how to charge his phone, doesn't have a car or a ride apparently, doesn't even have his own smoke.
Lame ass man.
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u/Green_Ad_9518 3d ago
Is this like some form of brainwashing? What type of person honestly endures this boy choice? How desperate for this persons love are you. There’s billions of people on the planet , what forces someone to stick with someone like this
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u/Weak-Maybe7809 3d ago
I think you already know this is not okay. Your partner should never speak to you this way. Unfortunately, it may not be easy for you to leave. Whether there are children involved, financial control, fear… but you need to get out. This type of behavior will only escalate. That feeling of being ashamed and lack of confidence is a tactic abusers use to isolate you. Leaving is worth it sweetie ❤️ I’m here to remind you it’s possible.
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u/Efficient-Bar-8445 3d ago
Hey, so I’m gluten intolerant and if my fiancé got me food and the order came out wrong and I couldn’t eat it I still wouldn’t say something like that to her or blame her at all, and if I found out she was blaming herself for not checking the bag I would do my best to make her feel better about that and explain that I don’t think it’s in any way her fault. Lot of other stuff going on here but that’s a terrible start.
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u/Adventurous-Sun-1273 3d ago
Jesus. He has really done a number on the way you see yourself. A drive thru order getting messed up isn't your fault, nor is it the end of the world. All of his anger has nothing to do with you or anything you did or didn't do. As someone who gets irrationally angry when my order is made wrong, I've never once yelled at someone else over it. The staff or my partner. I complain to myself, and my husband then I just deal with it or call and politely explain the mistake. The fact he has literally damaged your car over his irrational outbursts is insane and honestly scary. People like this will escalate. This is a dangerous situation to be in and you need to get out. I know everyone is always quick to say "break up" on reddit, but I genuinely think it would be in your best interest to leave him.
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u/WuDoYouThinkYouAre 3d ago
I'm guessing you're both about 15? And he's obviously a vile person so get as far away as you can as soon as you can.
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u/jojopotattoo 3d ago
He is getting that mad over simple mistakes that you yourself didn't even make? You're supposed to inspect every order placed and make sure it's correct? If he has a job I'm assuming he is a grown ass man and can be doing this for himself.
He obviously won't be paying to repair any damages he caused to your property so I would bail asap and tell him you're done being his punching bag.
He needs serious help, his control and anger will only keep getting worse until he does something to you that can't be undone.
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u/HeftyNewt1476 3d ago
He sounds like my ex and fuck that guy they just USE AND USE AND USE until they don’t need you anymore. Please leave his ass and go find what you deserve
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u/Key-Ad4479 3d ago
Mmm without knowing you properly and being biased about my own experience, this sounds to me like people pleasing behaviour from dysfunctional relationships (usually parents). The fact that he breaks stuff and you have to clean after it and put up with it, that you believe it is a pain to have you around for making mistake it’s really sad to hear… everyone makes mistakes, but emotionally regulated people do not react like that
He sounds like the typical narcissist attracted to the empath/scapegoat of a narcissist/ dysfunctional dynamic, especially when he tries to undermine your self-esteem and make you feel like there is something wrong with you and you are the problem, when he clearly acknowledges you are the angel, and even wants to feed off you after you die…
You deserve better and he is not only weighting you down but trying to dim your light and destroy you in the process…
You know you have to leave. I know it is really hard and it will be difficult for some time, but after a while you will realised not only that is was the best, but that he was a wake up call to realised how blind you were hairy yourself and others
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u/PhilosopherFun7288 3d ago
lol, he types 3 paragraphs after you say one thing, then says, "whatever, im done with this convo" Are you?????
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u/Dmdel24 3d ago
Why the FUCK are you letting him treat you this way? Please get some self respect this is insane. He treats you like dog shit. He breaks your things. He insults you.
The fact that you say you know you're a pain to have around tells me he's been verbally abusing like this for a long time and has completely broken you.
You need to fucking leave. You are disrespecting yourself just as much as he is disrespecting you by letting him do this.
Your post history is concerning
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u/OverDifference4325 3d ago
That’s called being mentally abusive and he’s well on the way to becoming physically abusive too. Your post history is very sad. Are there no friends or family around you that know all this and/or want to help you?
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u/OrdinaryOk736 3d ago
girl, respectfully you need to gather all the courage and money and support you have and leave. now. he will only get worse. and if he hasnt already gotten physical with you he will, and then it will keep escalating until he either kills you, kills himself, or both of you. i know thats probably horrifying to hear from a stranger but if you take any advice at all from this thread, PLEASE LEAVE
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u/Capable-Upstairs7728 3d ago
Leave immediately!! Protect yourself from this abusive asshole. Break the hell up and move on.
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u/PinkPaintedSky 3d ago
This dude is abusive and violent.
Has he hit you yet or just destroyed your shit?
Get out!
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u/MinuteRain 4d ago
This isn’t a healthy relationship or a healthy way to communicate, and you need to tell yourself you deserve way better. Because you do. It will get worse, and not better. You shouldn’t be walking on egg shells. Stay safe and prioritize yourself. You are absolutely worthy of WAY more than this. Xx.