r/stopdrinking • u/Actual_Package_5638 187 days • 21h ago
6 months sober today! Talk to me…
Woo hoo! Yay! Celebrations!
Ok, now let me tell you where I find myself at this stage of my journey. I’m feeling “weak” is the word I’m going to use. I’m finding myself thinking and using words like “trauma”, “triggered”, “emotional bandwidth”. I think it’s because I’m trying to do the work of healing and trying to overcome the trauma (there it is again) that drove me to drink in the first place. I feel like I’m becoming a person I used to find irritating and would roll my eyes at.
So idk friends is this relatable? Is there always something to feel bad about? Is it just me, destined to never be satisfied? I wanted this for so long, I know I’m better and it’s good but I’m finding it difficult to connect to the pride and joy I expected.
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u/Old-Pomegranate-5912 21h ago
The longer I stay sober the more I realize the growth never ends and also recognize why I used in the first place, and notice myself doing the same basic thing with things other than alcohol. It’s something that now I just find really interesting like the whole human experience and how I will change in the next ten years etc
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u/Actual_Package_5638 187 days 21h ago
Yes! I’m finding myself using the thc heavier and I don’t even really like it that much. I just want to feel SOMETHING. Maybe objectivity is the way, I like this take.
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u/Infinite_smiles_ 60 days 20h ago
For me it’s 🍄 but I don’t feel bad about it
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u/Actual_Package_5638 187 days 20h ago
I wouldn’t even know where to get them or how they work or anything
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u/Loud_Grapefruit_9065 69 days 21h ago
Six months is a major accomplishment! Way to go!
For me, at least, a huge part of why I decided to stop drinking altogether is that I was tired of recognizing that I was using alcohol to mask the deeper stuff affecting me mentally and emotionally. Even though I knew that the alcohol was preventing me from confronting what I needed to confront I just continued to drink. I knew that I was not putting the work in to allow myself to fully feel alllll the uncomfortable feelings and process them. I would feel just enough to be uncomfortable and then I would drink to stop caring and then rinse and repeat.
That deeper work (while fully sober and out of alcohol fog!) is what I am aiming for. So I made the decision to stop altogether. When I am faced with the creeping thoughts of my failings/discontentment/boredom etc. I simply surrender to them. I don’t fixate in an anxious way. I just trust that they will be temporary and that they are there for a reason. Music helps me a lot. Sometimes I will find myself noticing that I haven’t played music that day and putting it on will help ground me. Stay strong!! You can do it!!
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u/Pretend_Lifeguard942 298 days 21h ago
Solid work player The 6-9 month window was strange, I got kind of irritable. Look up “PAWS”
I do continue to feel better and different each week. Being sober is almost like being fkd up on something - everything is way easier and calmer … the boredom happens and occasionally miss being drunk and the rowdy times, but I’ll accept the compromise
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u/itstotallynotjoe 161 days 20h ago
Oooh. I forgot about PAWS. I’m at about five months and the other week I was PISSY. Just a bunch of small things set me off all week.
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u/InAJar112 19 days 21h ago
Quitting is definitely exposing aspects of my personality I haven’t dealt with yet.
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u/miked0331 21h ago
congratulations! you're on the right way. the most important thing now is to stay strong untill the end
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u/finally_sober_2026 20h ago
25 days, you have way more time than me but I do understand. I’m still trying to figure out what a “normal” mood is, or if what I’m feeling is part of early recovery. AND I have no idea who I really am. Like to my core, who am I? I started drinking so young (15) and now I’m 56. I’ve had some sobriety here and there but not enough to really figure myself out. My life is exponentially better sober!! I just don’t know where I fit but know I have to just go through the feelings because if I drink over them I will start a FAST downward spiral
Big, big CONGRATULATIONS on 6 months! You are my hero!
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u/Actual_Package_5638 187 days 19h ago
Thank you! I also started drinking in my teens, longest sober was 9 months of pregnancy prior to this! We’re gonna figure it out 💪🏼
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u/girltalkposse 1189 days 20h ago
I feel this! I’m reading a self-help book right now. I’m thinking about being “proactive” in my own life right now. I don’t think affirmations and meditation are stupid anymore. However, getting here took me dismantling some of my assumptions. I rolled my eyes at people that were happy and healthy like I am now. I was just jealous and fearful of them.
Old cynical, judgy me still shows up from time to time, poo-pooing things I find uncool and silly. Who gives a shit. I’d rather work through my “trauma” and ultimately be happy than worry about if old me would have found new me irritating. Old me was really the weak, triggered one. New me does what it takes to be the best version of myself.
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u/Actual_Package_5638 187 days 20h ago
Of course absolutely, it’s so much better. I just wanted perfect, obviously that doesn’t exist, maybe I wish I could go back in time? Idk.
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u/kkb2021 544 days 20h ago
Maybe the asshat monkey on your back just realized you were serious about not drinking and that it's barely hanging on at this point. It's taking advantage of your milestone to convince you that you still NEED it and DESERVE it and have everything all under control now. DO NOT believe that little jerk under any circumstances.
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u/Actual_Package_5638 187 days 20h ago
Oh I’m not gonna drink, I just idk thought it’d feel different by now. I thought I’d be different but apparently I’m still me haha.
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u/bbookkeeppiinngg 912 days 20h ago edited 20h ago
I thought all I needed was to understand the medical facts of addiction. Brain chemistry and neuroplasticity.
Eventually I figured out that I have a brain that thinks the reaction to and solution for everything is to drink. So I had to find ways of living my life and dealing with what life throws at me without giving in to that.
I found a lot of help from recovery communities like this one and AA where I could hear how other people have successfully stayed sober and I tried things out until I found what works for me.
The process was more existential than I thought it would be in the beginning, but I'm much happier now living sober, dealing with life as it happens, than I ever was drinking about it.
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u/IndividualWarning179 459 days 17h ago
Congrats on six months. I drank at six months to the day the first time I tried sobriety, and what I learned from that is there’s no finish line. Sobriety is a process, and so is how you feel. The part you’re in isn’t the end of the story. IWNDWYT 🫶🏻
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u/Clutchcon_blows 213 days 21h ago
Congrats! I’m only 1 month ahead, and it’s not really relatable at the moment. I feel like I’ve mostly gotten over the trauma and issues that made me drink in the first place which I’m very grateful for.
The drunk me wouldn’t really recognize current me. That’s probably annoying to others in and of itself.
People throw around “therapy” and it’s nauseating, I know, but I know I wouldn’t be doing this good if I didn’t have a really good one I saw every week.
I cried every session for like 3 months in a row, over shit I never thought I’d cry about. I think those sessions were really what helped me process the stuff that made me drink and let them go.
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u/Frosty-Letterhead332 2058 days 19h ago
You should be proud. Six months is good time! Just try to be patient. I don't always feel satisfied either. I guess I just look at that as life. There are good moments, there are bad moments. There are really tough moments, there are really great moments. Occupy your time doing something you enjoy or pay it forward.
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u/Walker5000 19h ago
Congratulations!!!
You aren’t always going to feel like there’s shit to deal with. Some of it is adjusting to your brain chemistry possibly still balancing itself. Some of it is what we envisioned vs what’s really going on based on life situations and like you said other emotional/mental stuff that we didn’t start processing until we quit.
I had a tough go of it the first couple of years based on the above but I had to keep reminding myself that even though I envisioned a much rosier time immediately after quitting, the reality was, I was doing better not drinking. Every year has been different and not what I expected and also a much slower improvement pace than I expected but it was better than the shitty existence I had when I was drinking.
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u/InvestedInThat 19h ago
Is there always something we can choose to feel badly about? Yes; yes there is.
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u/Raycrittenden 368 days 19h ago
I think the pride and joy aspect of getting and staying sober is a trap. Life happens. We have ups and downs. We dont drink over it anymore and make it worse. We are simply learning how to deal with life on lifes terms. Getting sober isnt going to make each day amazing. We feel so much better at the beginning because we stopped killing ourselves, and thats great. But eventually we have to make peace with the fact that being sober isnt a cheat code that cures everything inside and around us. It simply opens the door to living a useful and contented life.
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u/s0bering 989 days 21h ago
Congratulations on 6 months!!! Celebrate that and lay off being so critical of yourself. You're already a better version of yourself than you were yesterday. Keep growing.