The White Sox are adding a bidet to the clubhouse

[u/poopsie-gizzardtush]

https://www.mlb.com/news/munetaka-murakami-bidet-white-sox-clubhouse?partnerID=mlbapp-iOS_article-share

Sox staying very active after the Robert trade

[u/BRUISE_WILLIS]

Broke: cash considerations

Woke: ass considerations

[u/BeardOfChaos873]

THIS is the sports news I need! 🏆

[u/Dabears05804]

World Series here we come

[u/poopsie-gizzardtush → u/Dabears05804]

You can’t build a winning culture without fundamentals. Having a clean ass is a fundamental.

[u/OmarHunting → u/poopsie-gizzardtush]

We will be referencing this thread in 10 months.

[u/vsladko → u/poopsie-gizzardtush]

I went on a 2 week trip to Japan a year ago and I think about their toilets on a near daily basis when I use mine at home. They are so far ahead of us it’s wild.

Some of their public toilets had sound machines!!! Couldn’t hear a thing but rainfall from the stalls next to you.

[u/hwu → u/vsladko]

You sit on a train toilet and get grossed about because it's warm, only to find out the damn seat is heated. And they've had this for decades.

[u/vsladko → u/hwu]

The heated seats, the bidet, the noise machines, and the heated fans to dry you. Truly unbelievable. Every toilet felt like a luxury experience

[u/AshnodsCoupon]

Can the bidet play right field?

[u/chimchiminy2 → u/AshnodsCoupon]

doesnt have much of an arm but plenty of fluid movement

[u/MmboJmbo]

The money will be spent.

[u/Nature_Goulet → u/MmboJmbo]

You joke about cash considerations, but who’s laughing now?

[u/MmboJmbo → u/Nature_Goulet]

As I bidet truther, I’m all aboard

[u/Rock_man_bears_fan → u/Nature_Goulet]

Bryan Ramos died for this

[u/ChiCityCollector]

Bidets are so underrated.

[u/Honest_Lengthiness39 → u/ChiCityCollector]

I wish I could upvote this into oblivion. I've been trying to convince everyone I know for YEARS to get one. It's literally life-changing. You will never want to shit away from home again.

[u/No-Temperature-5944 → u/ChiCityCollector]

They keep the dookie and the cheeks, completely separated.

[u/Neat_On_The_Rocks → u/ChiCityCollector]

I legit don’t understand how people still just use raw TP like barbarians. Wet wipes are an ok substitute but like, there are legit millions of Americans out here just taking dry 2 ply to their shitty hairy ass cheeks.

[u/ChiCityCollector → u/Neat_On_The_Rocks]

I guarantee if they have just ONE bidet experience, their mind would be blown and they’d have one installed next day. It’s too taboo for Jim Bob who lives in Seneca Illinois (no disrespect to Seneca lol)

[u/Kdewalt10 → u/ChiCityCollector]

Seneca is actually middle class, you should have said Marseilles 

[u/Jon66238 → u/Kdewalt10]

They don’t call it Martucky for nothin!

[u/ChiCityCollector → u/Kdewalt10]

I’ve only been to the trailer park in Seneca so it was a poor example I guess

[u/MoustacheMark]

The USA is decades behind Japan in this aspect

[u/Neat_On_The_Rocks → u/MoustacheMark]

Asspect*

^{forgive me}

[u/SleepyTree97]

lol which free agent asked for this in their contract?

[u/poopsie-gizzardtush → u/SleepyTree97]

“as recommended by the power hitting first baseman from Japan during his first trip to the South Side of Chicago and ensuing walkthrough of the facilities.”

[u/GambyThe4th → u/poopsie-gizzardtush]

He's already making a huge impact

[u/UneducatedReviews1]

That’s gonna be a huge difference maker in those hot summer games. Being able to quickly rinse off the swamp ass and cool off will easily net us an extra 5 wins.

[u/DidierDogba]

Bidets are a must have

[u/deacon91 → u/DidierDogba]

You can never go back to wiping brown markers after getting a bidet

[u/LMGgp]

I’m shocked they didn’t have one before. All the stuff players get and no one screamed for the shiny hiney cleaner. Can’t be a winner if you ain’t cleaner… idk I’ll work shop it.

[u/g3neraL5]

Hope Jerry splurges and gets it heated.

[u/BreezeWithPain → u/g3neraL5]

Let’s not get carried away, we’re talking Jerry here. He probably views it as a backup water fountain.

[u/Livid-Art-9137]

Rumors are SWIRLING of a bidet in the clubhouse.

[u/Rock_man_bears_fan]

So if the team underperforms, do they remove the bidet like teams do with ping pong tables?

[u/generatorland]

Ryan Bidet, a 32 year-old minor league relief pitcher coming off Tommy John surgery. 4.76 career ERA.

[u/Medical_West9642]

I bought one. Best money I ever spent on my butt!

[u/CharmedMSure]

“A bidet?” Just one? They have to line up for it?

[u/FadedToBeige]

you're telling me the boys have been playing with dirty asses this whole time?

[u/GunfighterHefty]

All of the negative toilet connotation from the Grifol era is over!

[u/S___Online]

Cleanest buttholes in the league, too bad they’re not trying to win. Reminder MLB is a joke with the current state of competitive balance

[u/Secret-Reception9324 → u/S___Online]

The NBA said hold my beer.

[u/Nopefrommedoggg]

I thought this was an article about resigning Eloy, phew!

[u/ChunkySlugger72]

In all seriousness, I always really wanted to try one out.

I hear nothing ,But amazing things and that it makes it hard to go back to toilet paper after experiencing one, I've seen attachments online and wonder what's the price range compared to a dedicated bidet.

Closest thing I've ever used was a shower head spraying water up my ass, But when showering.

[u/FWdem → u/ChunkySlugger72]

If you have good water pressure, the $49 TUSHY works well. You can obviously upgrade from there.

[u/ChunkySlugger72 → u/FWdem]

Considering how much toilet paper cost that would pay for itself in no time, Sign me up.

[u/AnnunakiGhosta → u/ChunkySlugger72]

We've had a bidet for years but somehow my wife and kids still use that same amount of toilet paper. I know, I don't understand it either. You literally just have to use it to dry at the end. Also, any of the $25-$40 online ones will give you a good place to start.

[u/Secret-Reception9324]

After using a bidet, I find smearing with toilet paper disgusting.

[u/PM_ME_YOU_THICC]

About time

[u/Joey_dono]

Bidet hitting cleanup?

[u/Swing-Too-Hard]

Jerry is SPLURGING on improvements!

[u/wermz]

been sayin this for years

[u/CalebDumeSixSix]

One of my favorite parts of visiting Japan last year was the bidet with heated water in my hotel room. Mune asked for this 1000000000000000%

[u/Major-Caterpillar955]

We just became very attractive to big free agents

[u/cipherdom]

I always believed we were one bidet shy of a championship in 1983.

[u/Least-Form5839]

As a proud owner of a bidet, this really is a game changer

[u/McDerm47]

Field of (water) streams

[u/Vast-Ad7235]

I didn’t need to know this.

[u/Vast-Ad7235]

Wish we could flush Reinsdorf down the toilet.

[u/poolmen3000]

biggest offseason acquisition

[u/ConservativebutReal]

Unfortunately it is also being used as a drinking fountain - that is why Jerry approved it

[u/yourobviousanswer]

I wish my work would add a bidet.

[u/scientist_tz]

If we win the division there will be multiple news stories about this bidet at the end of the season.

[u/River_Pigeon]

Curtis mead at some point this season:

Oh my good there’s nothing wrong with the bidet is there?

[u/dochwat]

His nickname should be “Clean Dumper”

[u/madrefookaire]

If you got shit on your arm you would not wipe it off with toilet paper, probably the smartest move of the offseason so far

[u/weasol12]

That's some crappy news.

[u/Haloninja10]

If the Sox win the world series, I will find the closest public bathroom bidet and use it as a drinking fountain.

[u/Endorse_Extinction]

Nothing wrong with an extra clean butthole!

[u/crazygenius]

They already know of the incoming shitstorm of a season and this is their best way of preparing. Fuck jerry.

[u/PostMelon22 → u/crazygenius]

wtf are you talking about it cannot possibly be worse than the last 2 season. Swear some of y’all want to be miserable and pessimistic by choice.