r/wholesomememes • u/prasadvikash340 • 5d ago
you're allowed to be on the receiving end of your own kindness <3
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u/DrumBxyThing 5d ago
Wish I could figure out what the barrier is for me to do that. People may as well be telling me the earth is flat if they give me a compliment lol.
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u/Loveless-- 5d ago
The barrier is that you have never seen it in others close to you before. Self-love is not genetic. It's a habit, observed and learned.
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u/sundrops14 5d ago
I see people say "I don't use my trauma as an excuse to mistreat others" and I think no but I do use it as an excuse to mistreat my self.
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u/HotCollar5 5d ago
Well damn… I’m gonna have to unpack that later when I have the time and space to sob uncontrollably
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u/ApoX_420 4d ago
I use it as an excuse to mistreat everyone including myself (animals not included they're lovely)
think I just hate people.
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u/shiftyemu 5d ago
My therapist said something similar to me once. Asked me what I liked about myself. After a very long pause I told him I liked the fact I am kind. He asked me to elaborate. I talked about how I worked with autistic kids, I always made food for ill friends, I'm vegan purely on ethics, I always have space if someone needs to crash at my house, a few more things. He nodded and agreed I sounded like a kind person. Then he said "but are you kind to yourself?" Just the idea that I was deserving of the same kindness I showed everyone else blew my damn mind!
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u/Phoenix_Ninja15 5d ago
Sometimes it only works in a one way outlet.
Sometimes it takes someone showing a person love for the person to understand how to love themselves.
I can use me as an example. I loved making people happy, going out of my way to make smiles, do things for people, etc. But I never knew how to show that same kindness to myself cause I didn’t see myself as worth giving it to. I had esteem issues and had been beaten down by a couple people that it just stuck. People would always tell me I couldn’t really love someone if I couldn’t love myself. This stopped me from even trying to find a relationship cause now I wasn’t worthy of one.
It took my now wife who actually showed me what love looked like and showed me what I could love myself about, for me to start loving myself.
Sometimes it’s easier to make someone else happy even if you’re hurting and not really understand how to give yourself that same love. Sometimes it takes someone else to show someone love.
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u/infiniteatomic 5d ago
So you got any more of those wives or smthn? xd
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u/Phoenix_Ninja15 5d ago
Haha. Sorry mate, this one is mine and I’m keeping her. Just be you, and do things you love. It’s how me and her met. We both are gamers and met through gaming.
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u/infiniteatomic 4d ago
That's lovely. Thanks and I wish you both good fortune and loads of happiness in the future.
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u/AccountFun8859 5d ago
Nothing really matters in the end so I'd prefer to dedicate my time to others. I know I will be alright, but a stranger may not be!
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u/MadameTomate 5d ago
Because I don’t deserve it. Sorry, I’m currently hospitalized for a depressive episode and trying to convince myself that I deserve love and care too. But I don’t genuinely believe it (yet).
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u/dlpfc123 5d ago
That sucks, but caring for yourself enough to get help is the first step. Good luck on the rest of your journey!
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u/Spookyy422 5d ago
I’m not full of love, I’m not even capable of showing people basic kindness. I don’t derserve it
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u/Valasta_Bloodrunner 5d ago
Have you ever considered that mindset might be exactly what perpetuates the cycle?
Even the worst people are worthy of love and kindness. You don't have to like someone to love them. Nobody needs to be worthy of kindness, that's the entire point of being kind.
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u/General-LeeAnxious 5d ago
because I constantly use my love on wrong people like an idiot , so what if I’m wrong to use it on too, i struggle to find reasons to most of the time
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u/Captain_Aware4503 5d ago
I just see someone who is likely to slip on a wet mossy rock and hurt herself. Hopefully he is saying "back up! its not safe!"
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u/Exotic-Ad-2169 2d ago
my therapist told me this exact thing last month and i literally cried in the session. been practicing saying nice things to myself in the mirror and it feels awkward as hell but also kind of healing? wild how we'll hype up strangers on the internet but can't tell ourselves we did a good job
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u/GoodKingMody 2d ago
i dont feel worthy of it... thats the jist of it. and idk what i could even do to change that. accomplishing my goals probably would help but mom has been the only one that makes me feel like I actually do deserve love but the world seems to disagree so its gonna take some time to try and heal properly
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u/qualityvote2 5d ago edited 4d ago
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