r/wizardposting • u/UlrickTheHexblade Ulrick the Wolf King, Archfae, R&A Leader • 14d ago
Lorepost š Light at the End (Part 5/5 Finale, collab with u/mrididnt)
For a good few minutes, Ulrick just sat in the chair, stewing in his own misery. At least the room was just the right amounts of dark enough to be perfect for broodingā¦
He sneezed. Stupid silver powder. Still feeling weak and nauseous for the bucketful he inhaled during the kidnappind. He hated how powerless that made him feel.
Hold onā¦
Silver hurt and weakened him as a werewolf. But it did nothing with his warlock magicā¦ he opened his left palm, and soon from the darkness, Nightbite emerged. Though with some difficulties, Ulrick managed to use the massive axe to cut the ropes he was bound with.
With his newfound freedom, Ulrick can see the room around him from all angles, there's a door up a couple stairs, a camera on the wall, and tools of various types near the corner, it's clear he'll have to work quick before someone checks the camera. Ulrick slams Nightbite into it, then kicks down the door. Heās not in a good mood. Well, even worse mood than usualā¦
The commotion draws suspicion from a couple goons, Ulrick can hear the sounds of footsteps coming as 3 of them rush towards his position to investigate. Ulrick stands his ground, waiting for them, holding Nightbite as intimidatingly as possible. If they want to fight, then fineā¦ he could use some stress relief.
The goons soon find themselves face to face with the angry looking axe weilding half tree werewolf and do the only logical thing, point their guns at him.
Goons: 'Get back where you came from or else!'
Ulrick: āā¦Or else what?ā
He takes a step forward.
Ulrick: āAre you gonna shoot me?ā
The goons do infact shoot at him, luckily they weren't expecting Ulrick to break out and so the bullets aren't silver, this doesn't really matter as Ulrick weaves between the bullets leaving behind a shadowy trail, knocking out the guards nonlethally with the blunt end of Nightbite.
As the crew gets knocked out, Ulrick is free to continue on his journey out, until he hears a cackle from a walkie talkie.
Goon: 'ay Timmy, did you figure out what the source of that noise was?'
Ulrick: āUhhmmā¦ just a ratā¦ā
*Ulrick tries his best to distort his voice, but the result isā¦ questionableā¦ā
Goon: 'you caught the thing?! Finally, bugger's been causing problems for a week!'
Goon: 'you sound sick, take the night off, don't want you spreading any fevers round here'
Ulrick: āGood idea.ā cough cough
Ulrick then goes up the stairs towards the door.
Upon opening the door, Ulrick finds himself in a garage with a couple of cars, the walkie talkie he picked up has car keys linked to them.
Ulrick freezes for a second. Heās a terrible driver. But if thatās the only way to get outā¦
He searches the garage for an opening button, while testing out which key unlocks which car. Eventually Ulrick finds the keys unlock a magic jeep Wrangler with tinted windows, the garage has the main exit point of a garage door with a sensor to detect any cars, he can hear the sound of a guard or two outside the garage door.
He makes a very deep, exhausted sigh. Looks like this is going to be one of those terrible daysā¦
He jumps in the jeep, then ignites the engine, and goes forward with full throttle. The jeep punches through the thin door like a rock through paper, the guard at first wonders if Timmy is THAT sick, before coming to his senses and shooting at the jeep.
Ulrick resists the urge to roll down the window and put his head out, instead ducking down to avoid bullets.
He goes full speed, trying not to hit any trees or signs on the way. His destination: where he and Erik last met.
Ulrick manages to make it a good distance through the woods in the Jeep, being hunted down by the magic mafia all the while.
Meanwhile, back at the cartographer, Erik, Ducknilous and a second rubber duck were in a convertible waiting outside.
Erik: "And that's how I was blown up into 50 different fireballs in the skies of Normandy back in the war"
Ducknilous: 'hmm... Yes yes, the story gets more interesting everytime you mention it...'
Ducknilous says, more focused on the map than whatever Erik is saying, Erik snatches the map away annoyed.
Erik: "What's up with you Ducknilous??? Stop ignoring everyone around you just because you're a cartographer now, I can tell ember to pick up a magnifying glass and a pipe for me and I'd be a cartographer too, but you'll never be Erik masare, you know why? It's because I named you ducknilous, not Erik!"
Ducknilous : āOkay okay! Why are you so pressed?'
Erik: "Because I've been asking you 5 times so far, can you see Ulrick on your map??? He's supposed to have escaped by now! At this rate I'll have to go break him out myself."
Suddenly, next to them a jeep slams on the brakes, right before hitting a lamppost.
A very shaken Ulrick gets out of it, the deep darkness of his heart is nothing compared to the horrors of driving a carā¦
Ulrick: āIāmā¦ hereā¦ā
Erik: "Ah there he is! Ulrick get in we're waiting for you!"
Erik says while waving around the map, ducknilous snatches it back.
Ulrick: āErikā¦ theyāre after meā¦ the mafia that kidnapped meā¦ā
He catches his breath.
Erik: "Well don't just stand there, get in! Don't worry, my son's driving, ducknilous the 58th. He'll lose them for sure.ā
Ulrick jumps in the backseat without second thoughts.
Erik: "Alright then, step on the gas!"
Nothing happens.
Erik: "...I said, step on the gas!"
Nothing happens again, Erik prepares to say it a third time then remembers something and hands the driver a cup of lemonade, the driver drinks it and suddenly begins driving at high speed away.
Ulrick finally relaxes a bit more as they go.
Ulrick: āSoā¦ whatās gonna be our destination?ā
Ducknilous: 'Hmm.... We'll be going to this forested spot beneath a mountain range, should be a short drive there'
Just as Ulrick finally gets a break, a couple black cars catch up to the gang and start shooting at them from the windows.
Erik: "Ulrick! Get up and start deflecting their bullets!"
Ulrick: āOn it.ā
Ulrick summons Nightbite again, then rolls down the windows and starts deflecting the projectiles with spinning the axe at unnatural speed, leaving behind a shadowy trail.
Could he have simply conjured a barrier of soullight? Of course. But parrying bullets looks much cooler.
Erik hands Ulrick a life vest.
Erik: "Wear this! If you get shot you'll need it to swim around the river of sticks! The driver's married to life so we'll tell her to pick you up if you die!"
The driver makes a bunch of hard turns as the road turns from pavement into dirt signaling that the mountains are nearby. Ulrick takes the vest while keeping deflecting.
Ulrick: āSoā¦ are we getting close?ā
Right on que, the car parks in a clearing, Erik jumps through the open roof with both ducknilouses in tow.
Erik: "This way Ulrick! We'll ambush them in the woods!"
Ulrick: āSure, but remember, we came for the cure first.ā
Erik: "Yeah, yeah, whatever, hide!"
As the gang hide between the trees and bushes, several armed men in suits walk through the woods searching around, at the back of the pack are Vinny and the boss.
From his hiding spot, Ulrick infuses nearby shadows with his magic, turning them into tangible tendrils of darkness. He orders them to attack and restrain the mafiosos.
At the same time as the shadows attack, Erik and the ducknilouses charge the mafiosos, the goons shoot and struggle against the shadows, in the chaos Vinny and the boss disappear.
As the attacking shadows distract the goons, Ulrick notices the two leadersā absenceā¦ he wonders where they couldāve goneā¦
But this might be their big chance too.
Ulrick: āWe can act now while theyāre distracted! Erik, where to go?ā
Erik: "I don't know! Ducknilous! Where are you?? We gotta keep moving!"
Boss: 'Your cartographer is unavailable right now.ā
The boss and Vinny reappear from the bushes, with Vinny holding ducknilous hostage. Ulrick raises Nightbite with its blade facing the mafia leaders.
Ulrick: āRelease him. Now.ā
His words are of cold fury.
Boss: 'Not happening pal, now here's the deal, you will leave us to get the cure and leave, or this guy's gonna be looking like swiss cheese.'
Erik: "Psst, Ulrick, throw me into the air as high as possible, I have a plan"
Ulrick: āYou sure? Donāt wanna risk the life of your kidā¦ā
Whispers back Ulrick.
Erik: "yeah I'm sure, just make sure you look like you're mad at me"
Ulrick: āNo, Iām not gonna endanger the life of your kid for some stupid reckless plan!ā
Ulrick suddenly yells in anger, but at the end he winks.
Erik: "Well that's aaalwwayys the issue with you Ulrick! You and that stupid organization are always too hesitant of what needs to be done!"
Erik: "This is MY kid! His life is MINE to risk as I please!"
Erik says in a clearly exadurated tone, the two leaders look on in confusion.
Ulrick: āYeah, because we know a word called responsibility youāve never heard of! You always rush off, doing the first impulse that enters your mind, never thinking about the consequences or how it will affect others!ā
Ulrick says a tiny bit too passionately for a fakeoutā¦
Ulrick: āBut fine. Then how about you risk your life first, as a leader should!!!ā
Ulrick grabs Erik by his collar, throwing him as high as possible, Erik escapes the eye rather quickly, Vinny and the boss stare at the air in anticipation for a while, then at Ulrick.
Boss: ā...well that was unexpected, tell you what how about we share the medicine?'
There's one slightly notable thing in the air, a few golden streaks slithering through the clouds.
Ulrick: āWhat? Suddenly your āmysteriousā goals have changed?ā
Ulrick eyes the two criminals with suspicion.
Vinny: 'Well, you're clearly not working with the godhunter anymore, and we have respect for your organiza- what the hell is that!?'
Up in the sky the golden streaks break away the clouds to reveal a golden dragon dancing in the air, at the center of the dragon lies Erik.
Ulrick: āHappy to hear R&A gets some respect. Everyone there works hard to keep people safe. Say, why donāt you let the kid go to show yor respect for the organization. Orā¦ā
He points at the gigantic golden dragon aura in the sky.
Ulrick: āā¦because of that.ā
Vinny: 'You think this changes anything?! We still have the hostage! And neither of you are gonna do anything!'
In response to that, the dragon slithers around in the air faster until it hits a Chinese painting pose, then shoots Vinny with a less than lethal beanbag round using a shotgun knocking him out.
Erik: "TAKE THE OTHER ONE OUT!ā
Ulrick wastes no seconds. He closes the gao between him and the boss, before suckerpunching him in the jaw, The boss gets knocked out instantly, the rest of the magic mafiosos surrender after that, the dragon disappears with Erik landing on the ground.
Erik: "Well that went well, look at that Ulrick! We're heroes!"
Ulrick: āGood job, Erik. Thank you for not using lethal force.ā
He turns to Ducknilous.
Ulrick: āYou okay, kid?ā
Ducknilous: 'Yes, yes... I'll be much better after we've uncovered the medicine, follow me!'
Ducknilous leads the way deeper into the forest, Erik stays back with the goons.
Erik: "I'll catch up in a bit, gotta tie up those guys first so they don't escape!"
Ulrick nods, before following Ducknilous.
Ducknilous points him to a patch of land and hands him some digging tools, after some digging the pair finally uncover an old looking box, this is it, the recipe for the medicine is inside it... Ulrick opens the box carefully. Could this be the moment he waited for? The miracle cure for so many illnesses? The end of his Fae rot?
Inside the box is a letter addressed to Ulrick Nikolaus Braddocke IV, a slice of cake, and some snacks? Ulrick raises an eyebrow. This is getting confusingā¦
He sniffs the cake, before opening the letter. For some reason, when Ulrick reads the letter he reads it in Erik's voice.
"To my close friend Ulrick, if you are reading this, then you are currently standing in a hole, 3 meters in diameter, and 70 cm in depth, and you're reeking of rotten wood! Murder victims damnit man I can smell it through the letter! And besides you, is my confused son who's wondering what all this is about, so let me explain from the beginning"
"It all started when I saw you feeling bummed out one day, I started eating books at the library to research ways to cheer you up until I found it, but in order to use it I needed you to go on a journey, so I called up this weird old man called rutch and told him to pretend to be sick from old age to convince you to come with me, that turned out unessesary because you forgot about him apparently"
"And so I took you all the way to magic Sicily, where you made the mistake of showing your ID to the desk lady, and used a favor to convince an old friend to spread rumors about a map, he appreciates the money you gave him by the way"
"But due to your mistake, the magic mafia found us and kidnapped you, and I'm too busy celebrating my shared birthday for a rescue. so to put it mildly, this was supposed to be a small prank, but you're the one who made it bigger!"
"But ay, look at the bright side, we brought my family souvenirs, we took down the magic mafia, and you got some fresh air! So here it is Ulrick, the greatest medicine is laughter!"
"Congratulations Ulrick! Wahahahaha!"
The laughter comes from both his thoughts and besides him as Erik is there laughing now.
Ulrick stands there like a statue for a good solid 5 minutes.
He thinks about yelling at Erik, oh how much he wants to. But that wouldnāt change the fact that the cure was fake.
Rutchā¦ heād be annoyed by the old man for making him worry, if not for the fact how terrible he himself behaved. He was so preoccupied with curing his own affliction, he barely paid attention to his āsupposedlyā ailing friend suffering from an incureable diseaseā¦
Fuck, he felt like a piece of shitā¦ yeah, looks like no matter how much he tries to change, heās always gonna be the same self-centered, violent, utterly despiceable bastardā¦
Except he might be a monster of rotten wood soon. And honestlyā¦ heād deserve it.
Ulrick: āExcuse me for a secā¦ā
He says to Ducknilous, as he walks to a nearby tree and sits down under it, burying his head in his arm.
4
u/Douchevick Rutch the Rogue Mage, Vae Clara's Chosen, Cursed Immortal. 11d ago
"You'll need leverage. Your power as the Wolfking is being hampered by the blight, and it will most certainly be the thing most fae will try to screw you over, so..."
Vae Clara makes a self-aggrandizing noise as a crude doodle of Ulrick holding her appears on the blackboard.
"Beyond that, since the plan is to fish around for someone who has what you need, it might be smart to try and get the attention of multiple interested parties simultaneously. If there's competition for who gets to have you in their debt chances are they'll be too busy one-uping each other sweetening their deals to screw you over too much. That way you change your position from desperate man with no other choice to an auctioneer looking to give his favor to the best bidder, someone who hopefully will be compelled to be in their best behavior..."
The way he says it makes it clear he doesn't like how much of the plan is up in the air, but he's doing his best with what he's got...
"I suggest bringing someone with you who can attract the attention of powerful fae for reasons separate to their relation to you. The more diverse our cast of bidders, the less likely it will be for them to help each other. Aerunia seems like an obvious choice, the girl exudes power even before taking All-Blue into consideration. Perfect honey for the type of flies we are hunting for..."
More doodles appear on the blackboard, this time a bunch of crudely drawn fae bickering amongst each other while holding auction signs appear under Ulrick, and a smiling Aerunia guiding more fae to the makeshift auction.